Thursday, September 29, 2016

Yankees Fan Tries To Propose, Can't Find Ring

An idiot Yankees fan (sorry for the redundancy) tried to propose to his girlfriend, but couldn't find the ring. The entire section was looking for it.



Eventually they found it, seemingly in the cuff of her pants. Despite him being a complete moron, she said yes and they will live happily ever after.

Now I don't want to insult the couple too badly, but they are the typical Yankees couple. He's a dead-eyed douchebag and she's cute but trashy.

I wish them well.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Song of the Week

"I'd Really Love to See You Tonight" - England Dan and John Ford Coley
There weren't any really soul or funk songs in 1976, so I decided to go with this one because it typifies the era's easy listening tunes.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Pour Out a Little Iced Tea, and a Little Lemonade

Arnold Palmer passed away at age 87, after living a full life in which he had a drink named after him.



Nails puts a little shot of vodka in his Arnold Palmer and calls in a John Daly.

Andy Samberg joked that he wanted take the music from Beyonce's "Lemonade" album, and put Ice-T lyrics over it to create a new album called "Arnold Palmer."

Sunday, September 25, 2016

The Reason Gifs Were Invented

Talent prima donna Odell Beckham Jr had a fit on the sidelines after Eli Manning didn't throw him the ball, and he attacked the field goal kicker's practice net. The net fought back.
I suppose it's much funnier if you are not a Giants fan.



Beckham played a great game and he was probably right than no one on the Redskins could cover him, not even his tormentor Josh Norman, and that Eli missed him a couple of times wide open.
It was a horrible game by both teams as they competed to see who could gift the game to the other. Thanks to two interceptions by Eli and a horrible penalty that negated a blocked punt, the Redskins hung on and salvaged their season.

Weekly Picks

Zero points. That seems about right. I'll do better this week.

oakland -1 TENNESSEE
Titans are a bad team that won last week. I don't see them making it two in a row.

TAMPA BAY -5 los angeles.
The Rams are a bad team that won last week. I don't see them making it two in a row.

GREEN BAY -7 detroit
Something is wrong with Aaron Rodgers. But something has been wrong with him many times before and he's always rebounded. I expect more of the same, especially against the woeful Lions.

arizona -4 BUFFALO
I like the Cardinals, the Bills, not so much.

BEST BET
pittsburgh -4 PHILADELPHIA

The Eagles and Carson Wentz played probably the two worst teams in the NFL so far. They will get a rude awakening. I expect the Steelers to win by 30.

Last week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 1-4 (0 points)
Best Bets: 0-1

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

3000 Words

A baby's head and a kiwi look remarkably similar.



A koala sits on a fence post to avoid an overflowing river below him.



An artist stacks 760 bicycles to make art.

Song of the Week

"Reach Out (I'll Be There)" - The Four Tops
We go back to 1966 for this classic, the first Motown song I remember liking, from my favorite Motown group.

I Think She Held It Together Quite Nicely

Trey Mancini hit his first Major League home run for the Baltimore Orioles, and his mom Beth was there to see it.
She was shocked, amazed and tearful, the exact reaction I would expect a mother to have. It was very similar to the reaction of Grandpa Matz when Steven had 3 hits in his Major League debut.



I promise you if any of my kids ever homer, majors, minors, high school or Little League, I will make her reaction look subdued in comparison.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

I Get To Do Cool Things

Three years ago I was lucky enough to attend a Mets game and spend pre-game on the field, and take one of my favorite pictures ever, with Mr. and Mrs. Met.
The experience I had before Friday's game against the Twins was even better. Thanks to the dogged persistence of a friend we were invited for a behind-the-scenes tour of the stadium by the Mets PR team.

We entered at the Hodges gate, where right through that door is the press room where we often see Terry Collins discussing Mets injuries.

From there we were led down a back hallway, where the clubhouse is. And at the moment we passed by, Brandon Nimmo emerged on his way to the video room.



He stopped and chatted with us briefly about money and investing and the rapid depreciation of expensive automobiles.

To our left in that hallway is the batting cage where players can take some in-game cuts.

Lined up along the walls, where the bats and other equipment for every Met.



And in the best part of it all, we were led out onto the field, THROUGH THE DUGOUT!!!!!



Don't I look happy?

We were offered a piece of Major League gum. I brought two pieces home for the boys, who were initially unimpressed until they realized, that later that day the Mets had stuck their hands in that same bucket. They asked if the Mets get a new bucket of gum every day. I said yes. They decided the Mets must be rich to afford new gum.
They chewed it and decided it tasted better than the regular dubble bubble available to the public.




After a few more moments sitting on the dugout bench, and taking pictures we were escorted onto the field to enjoy batting practice.
Unfortunately, the Mets had concluded and the Twins were hitting (Kennys Vargas hit some bombs).



After a while we were asked to leave the field and head back to our seats, which we purchased ourselves, which explains the view from the 500 level.



But from that vantage point I got to see a masterpiece from Bartolo Colon, back to back homers from Jose Reys and Asdrubal Cabrera, and a 3-0 Mets win, topping off another memorable experience I was fortunate enough to enjoy. Note: Please forgive the lousy way this displays. I wanted pictures to be as big as possible, which doesn't work well with this template. For best experience click on the first picture and use the viewer to peruse them all.

Weekly Picks

So I forgot Week 1. I probably would have started off with a -1 so good thing I didn't. We'll start and Week 2 and see what develops.

NEW ENGLAND -6 1/2 miami
This is dangerous because the Patriots looked good in a nationally televised game, but that doesn't mean all their worries are gone. Plus the Dolphins sucked. And as you know, all that could change very quickly in the NFL, which in case you forgot stands for Not For Long.

tampa bay +7 ARIZONA
Again I am going against my opposites theory but I just think this is a heck of a lot of points to give to Jameis Winston.

indianapolis +7 DENVER
Another big road dog, but I really wasn't impressed with Denver last week and Luck should be good for a backdoor cover.

OAKLAND 4 1/2 atlanta
The Falcons suck and the Raiders are a fun bandwagon team.

BEST BET
green bay -1 1/2 MINNESOTA
I think Aaron Rodgers will pull this one out.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Mets Sign Tim Tebow

The Mets signed Tim Tebow to a minor league contract in a completely irrelevant, inconsequential and strictly PR move.
He will never make the major league roster and it would be a shock if he was even good enough this year and in the Arizona Fall League, to get a spring training invite.
That is unless, of course, he gets help hitting a curveball.



"Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball.
Let's not start a holy war Harris."