Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Song of the Week

"Special Lady" - Ray, Goodman & Brown

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Seinfeld Night for the Cyclones

The Mets minor league team will host Seinfeld Night on July 5th, the 25th anniversary of the night the Seinfeld pilot aired.
The first 2,500 fans will get a Keith Hernandez Magic Loogie bobblehead which says "I'm Keith Hernandez" on the front and "Nice Game, Pretty Boy" on the back.

MCU Park will be named Vandelay Industries Park for the evening. Anyone presenting a legitimate business card showing he is a latex salesman will get in for free.
Mailmen in uniform will throw out the first pitch.
A dance contest will reward the best "Elaine."
And the best part of the whole thing: the Cyclones will wear puffy shirts during batting practice.

Julian Scares Me Sometimes

99% of sports fans, even serious ones, do not know who this man is.

Julian is the 1%.

Sports Illustrated's Pablo S. Torre filled in as the host of Olbermann when KO had shingles. Julian ran to the TV and screamed "that guy's name is Pablo."

At first Mrs. Poop thought no way. Then she looked over at me, saw I was dumbfounded and slackjawed and anxiously asked me "is that really his name?"

When I regained the power of speech I told her that yes, his name is Pablo and we asked Julian how he knew that.

We reconstructed the story with the help of Chase. Apparently they had been at Moe's and Around the Horn was on (Chase told me Pablo had 10 points), and it said his name. Chase read it to Julian and they both thought it was cool since to them Pablo is a blue penguin from the Backyardigans.

Sometimes we worry about Julian's memory because of all the blows to the head he's taken from all the times he's fallen while behaving recklessly. And because sometimes he can't remember a single thing about his day such that when we got to him for "Best Part of the Day" he says his best part of the day was hearing Chase's best part of the day.

But then he goes and does something like this and scares the shit out of me.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Trash or Treasure?

Our second installment of Trash or Treasure revolves around this naked lady cup I bought in Acapulco:

Now you may be saying "But Poop, it's not a naked lady cup if she's not naked." To which I say "fill it up with cold water and wait."

Friday, April 18, 2014

Mrs. Poop's New Favorite Yankee

Now that Derek Jeter is moving on to make banging Swimsuit models his full time job, this leaves a void in Mrs. Poop's heart.
Who will be her favorite Yankee next season?
Answer: Masahiro Tanaka.

What did Tanaka do to endear himself to Mrs. Poop?
This is what he said when asked about the biggest cultural difference between Japan and the U.S.:

"The washlet is a system in Japan where you press a button and water comes out and washes your ass. Not having that is a big difference."

Wednesday, April 16, 2014


I love Mrs. Poop with all my heart. But it's no secret that we have nothing in common. Ours is a love like Louis and Mrs. Pasteur's, we don't share a lot of common interests, but we make it WORK!

But it does make me wonder what it would be like to marry a woman who "gets" me, who understands what makes me tick and likes the same things I do.
Like Danica McKellar:

Tight dresses, math and palindromes.

Song of the Week

"Baby I'm-a Want You" - Bread

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

3000 Words: Fenway Park Edition

Fenway Park crowd in 1924. Notice how the fans and the concessionaire are dressed.

Fenway Park crowd in 2013.

A Coast Guard helicopter does a flyover and the Green Monster is draped in the American flag during the presentation of the 2013 World Series rings at Fenway Park.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Song of the Week

"Love is a Verb" - L Young
A smooth soul jam about grammar.
But I have to take issue with this part.
"I wanna listen to you vent
and tell you all about your day."
He must have done something really bad if he has to promise that.