Thursday, July 31, 2014

I'm A Douche

This morning when I went to the bathroom for the first time at work, I couldn't get my dick out. I had put my undershorts on backwards. Didn't feel any different though.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Song of the Week

"Earth Angel" - The Penguins
We're back celebrating great music of days gone by. This classic was a hit 60 years ago. And 30 years after that it was featured in "Back to the Future" as the song that was playing when George and Lorraine kissed and fell in love at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. And the soundtrack featured a version recorded by Marvin Berry and the Starlighters.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

I Once Got Busy in a Burger King Bathroom

A romantic night turned hot and spicy when a couple was caught allegedly having sex on a Chipotle roof in Delaware Saturday.
Michael Suh, 38, and Nicole Germack, 27, were arrested after an officer observed them engaging in sexual intercourse on the front of the roof of the Chipotle restaurant on the 100 block of East Main Street, Newark Police said in a press release.

The officer advised the couple to stop having sex, but they continued for almost 20 seconds, according to authorities.
When they finally stopped, they fled from the roof and into Suh's apartment a few feet away, said police.
The couple was placed under arrest inside the home. Both were released after paying $1,800.
Suh and Germack are facing multiple charges including lewdness and resisting arrest. It was not immediately clear if either had obtained an attorney.

Monday, July 28, 2014

3000 Words

Not only is this a weird picture of Kris Jenner and a giant handbag, there's a girl in the background with her face pressed up against the glass.

This is the picture (from a 1976 edition of National Geographic) that Lorde claims gave her the inspiration for the title and hook of "Royals." (SOTW, 10/23/23)

A row of hearses carries the bodies of the victims of the Malaysia Air Flight 17 attack:

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Song of the Week

"Sail" - AWOLNation
Happy Birthday Juice (a few days early)!

The Most Interesting Telephone Pole in the World

Diesel in Maine in 2007:

Diesel in Maine in 2007

Diesel in Maine in 2008:

Diesel in Maine in 2008
Diesel in Maine in 2009:

Diesel in Maine in 2010:

Diesel in Maine in 2011:
Diesel in Maine in 2011
Diesel in Maine in 2012

Diesel in Maine in 2013

Diesel in Maine in 2014:

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Russian Jean Valjean

I experienced a very disturbing situation this weekend, which leads me to question the direction our country is going in, but before I can explain it, you need to understand a little bit about Family Day.
Where I live we are part of a homeowners' association. It is not gated, the houses don't all look the same, but we all pay dues, follow rules and almost all the homes are adjacent to one of the three parks.
The elementary school is located on one of the parks. The neighborhood kids go to school together, then playgroup (half-day summer camp for kids kindergarten-6th grade), they play, swim and work together. This fosters an incredible sense of community. Several people we know grew up there as kids and came back to raise their own families.
One day in summer is called Family Day, it starts in the morning with activities for kids like pony rides, inflatable slides (include a water slide), carnival games (with prizes), spin art and face-painting.
It is a completely open event. The pool is open all day to everyone, IDs are not checked, guest fees are not charged. Everything is paid for by the association. All that we ask is that parents (including residents) buy their children a wristband for $15 for access to all the above mentioned attractions plus cotton candy and sno-cones.
The pony rides and the bigger inflatable slide were manned by employees of the respective companies and they were turning away kids without wristbands.

But the rest of the things, like the bounce house were either unstaffed or done so by residents volunteering (and sacrificing times with their own families).
But there was a sign next to each station making it clear that you needed a wristband but many people just ignored it.
After having to wait for non-payers at several attractions including the bounce house (where I saw one lady, speaking Russian, but clearly telling someone about the wristband policy), I started to get frustrated.

While Chase and Julian were getting their faces painted (by a friendly resident volunteer)

the line was starting to get long. Next on line, in front of 3 paying residents, was a little girl, with her scofflaw mother (the one speaking Russian at the bounce house) nowhere to be found.

I decided to speak up. In my nicest voice I said "sweetie, tell your mommy you need a wristband to get your face painted."

Before I even finished the sentence the little girl shot back "we don't have enough money."

No one is going to turn away a child in this case. And the mother knew that. Which is why she coached the daughter to say it.

There is no way this woman is so poor that she literally had to choose between spending 15 dollars on a wristband and eating that day, she just didn't deem this expenditure worth it, especially because she knew if she plotted it right (found the soft targets, coached her daughter, and stood far away) she could get away with it.
I think she was just trying to get away with something (like the people at Panera who ask for a cup for water and then fill it up with soda) but it represents something more sinister and insidious in our society: the entitlement attitude.

If someone has more money than you, they must have stolen it or cheated you to get it, so are just stealing it back.
And that's what this woman was doing: stealing. This was an immoral act. It is wrong to take something (product or service) without paying for it.
If she truly couldn't afford it then that is sad. But she should have stayed home, that would have been a better lesson for the child than the one she taught her.

Friday, July 18, 2014

For Once, I Agree With Coach Boeheim's Strategy Decision

A Syracuse fan got a huge Jim Boeheim tattoo on his leg.

When reached for comment by ESPN, Boeheim said "I would wear long pants for the rest of my life."