Friday, December 06, 2013
What do you give me for Rep. Michael Grimm, Staten Island's Congressman and UFC loudmouth Chael Sonnen.
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
Best of the West As expected the Denver Broncos dispatched the Chiefs, in Kansas City, sending the once 9-0 darlings to a 3-game losing streak. A streak which will end this week when the Chiefs play the Redskins (more on them in a moment). But significant questions about the Chiefs defense remain. After they got pounded by Philip Rivers, Manning lit them up for 400 yards and 5 TDs. Not Enough Mike Tomlin was fined $100,000 for being on the field and likely interfering with a Jacoby Jones kick return. I think the referees should have awarded the Ravens a touchdown on the spot (they can do that!). But since they didn't, I think this merited something more like $250,000 and a 1-game suspension. He's not even supposed to be on the white line during a play, never mind the field. I don't think Tomlin did this in order to interfere, or to feign interference, but nonetheless his punishment should have been much more severe. If the Steelers had won this game, the outcry over this play would have been even louder.
Alabama vs. Auburn, the Iron Bowl of 2013 is the best college football game I have ever seen. And it certainly has its place among the greatest games of all time, and maybe the best ending. Sure, The Play ("the band is on the field, the band is on the field!") was more unusual and novel and crazy, but the game was meaningless. This was #1, defending national champ Alabama vs. #4 Auburn, in one of the most heated rivalries, with huge stakes, a chance at the title game, perhaps for both teams. And what ensued was one of the craziest, most dramatic, exciting, unpredictable and downright amazing games any of us will ever see. By now you've all heard or seen what happened (and if you didn't you don't care), the 99-yard touchdown, the late-game comeback TD by Auburn and of course the field goal return. But I want to talk about Nick Saban, the arrogant jerk whose pride cost his team the game. Saban thinks he walks on water (and he has the results to back it up) and that anything he does is right. And if you buy into this way of doing things you will win. He thinks the success he's had is because of him, and not his players. Which is why he failed in the NFL (and hated it), because he couldn't relate to players who had their own proven track records. It's also why he threw his kickers under the bus after the game. My big problem with Saban comes when he went for on 4th and 1 with about 5 minutes left, instead of trying a 30-yard field goal. I know his kicker had already missed 2, but a 30-yarder is probably a pretty good bet, for even a bad kicker, and it would have given the Tide a 2-score lead. But in Saban's world he can't envision how his team won't get 1 yard on 4th down, and if they do, it is the players' fault. That of course set up the blown coverage on the Auburn touchdown pass which set up Saban's fatal mistake. Many people are saying "if his kicker is so bad, why attempt a 57-yarder?" I'm going to give him a pass on this one. Even a bad kicker should make 57-yarders way more often than a player should return a miss 108 yards. The problem with Saban here is he didn't seem to have the right personnel on the field to defend a potential return, and he didn't seem to have them prepared for it. Though in his classy post-game press conference he said he warned the players and told them to fan out, but damn kids didn't listen.
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
A while back Mrs. Poop let Chase watch "Home Alone" for the first time. And the worst thing that happened was he came back saying "hell" as in "why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?" Other than that, we thought it was mostly harmless fun, until I read this article which asked a doctor diagnose the injuries Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern) would have sustained had those attacks been real. For instance, getting smashed in the face with an iron could "fracture the bones surrounding the eyes. This is also known as a 'blowout fracture,' and can lead to serious disfigurement and debilitating double vision if not repaired properly." How about walking barefoot on Christmas ornaments?
Sunday, December 01, 2013
denver -5 KANSAS CITY I think the Broncos will make a comeback. Two weeks ago I wasn't so sure but then I saw the Chargers light up this Chiefs defense. CAROLINA -7 1/2 tampa bay I'm a believer in the Panthers. And I don't think the ECPs are going from 0-8 to 8-8. chicago +1 MINNESOTA I don't know why I keep falling for the Bears. NEW YORK JETS -3 miami Whenever we count the Jets out, they come back with a good performance. BEST BET arizona +3 1/2 (corrected via Papa Poop) PHILADELPHIA I love the Cardinals right now. Picking the hot team goes against what I stand for, but I just love the way Carson Palmer is playing lately and he is clearly the weak link on this team. Last Week: 1-4 (0 points) Season: 27-33 (21 points) Best Bets: 0-1 (3-9) Home Favorites: 1-2 (13-14) Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-1) Road Favorites: 0-2 (6-9) Road Underdogs: 0-0 (7-9)
Friday, November 29, 2013
You can't have a blog called the Poop and the logical organic nickname the Poop and expect not to get stories about Poop e-mailed to you. Nails and Master Bates and perhaps others flagged me to this Taiwanese restaurant in the LA-area called The Magic Restroom Cafe, complete with a toilet theme. You sit on toilets
No Helmet, No Touchdown A wacky and wild end to the Steelers-Ravens game. The Steelers had two touchdowns reversed, both of which were the right call and the second one coming when Le'Veon Bell lost his helmet right before he scored. The rule was enforced correctly, and it's a good rule. As soon as the helmet comes off, the play is dead. You can't have defenders charging helmetless players, so you have to stop the play. It didn't have a big impact on the game but imagine if the Steelers had been stopped and never gotten the chance to miss the 2-pointer.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Gone With the Wind Bill Belichick is a mad genius. Sometimes his gambles pay off other times they don't. It would be too results-oriented to say because the Patriots won the game that he made the right decision to give up the ball in overtime. The benefits of having the ball first far outweigh any potential wind advantage. It has to be a mathematical fact, even if it doesn't work that way every single time. But that one weird quirk actually makes this amazing game even better. The Patriots fumbled the first three times they had the ball, and the Broncos took a 24-0 lead. The Patriots staged an amazing second half comeback and won the game thanks to a horrible play by the Broncos, a punt bounced up and hit Tony Carter, New England recovered and that was that. I wouldn't quite write this game off as the last head-to-head matchup between Brady and Manning (they could meet in the playoffs and if they both win their divisions, they'll play next year) but certainly after 14 games (Brady is 10-4), this great individual rivalry is in its twilight. It's been a lot of fun to watch over the years and once again Tom Brady was able to make the plays to lead his teem to victory whereas Peyton Manning didn't. Playoffs? If the AFC Playoffs started today the Tennessee Titans would be the 6th seed, by virtue of their win over the Raiders. If the Raiders had won, they would have occupied the 6th spot at 5-6. But before you run to your bookie to bet against Ryan Fitzpatrick in the first round of the playoffs, on the road, there is a host of other 5-6 teams (Jets, Dolphins, Steelers, Ravens and Chargers) ready to take that spot. One Spot Too Few We have the opposite situation in the NFC where two great divisions have produced 3 teams battling for two wild card spots. We know the Panthers are on fire, combining a great defense with a resurgent Cam Newton, but they still trail the Saints. In the NFC West we have the Seahawks running away with the division, but the 49ers are still the defending conference champions with a lot of talent on both sides of the ball. And we can't sleep on the Arizona Cardinals because they have a good defense, and Carson Palmer is rejuvenated, which has rejuvenated Larry Fitzgerald which had made the Cardinals a serious contender.
"All of Me" - John Legend This would be the perfect song to dedicate to Mrs. Poop on our anniversary but I didn't want to wait that long. I think Thanksgiving is just as appropriate. "My head's underwater But I'm breathing fine You're crazy And I'm out of my mind Cuz all of me Loves all of you Love your curves And all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I give my all to you You're my end and my beginning Even when I lose I'm winning." Note: That's John Legend's wife supermodel Chrissy Teigen in the video, naked in the shower.
Monday, November 25, 2013
One of the basic things all humans want to feel is that we are not alone in this world. Someone out there loves us, cares for us, understands our struggles and is going through the same things. Hence the phrase misery loves company. It's why this great bit of stand-up from British comedian Michael McIntyre has gone viral. Because all parents experience these struggles when trying to get their children to do something as simple as leave the house. Similarly, this clip perfectly sums up the inexplicable tantrums our children have for no reason. This next clip is a little different, not as many people can relate. And it has never happened to me, but at my job there are TV cameras everywhere, and a giant staircase in the center of the newsroom. Walking down those steps always makes me fearful, not only of falling, but of falling, being caught by a live camera and have the video passed around the internet for everyone to laugh at.