Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Breast Yogurt in New Jersey

A new location for the frozen yogurt chain "Cups" opened in our neighborhood. Mrs. Poop immediately noticed that the name, coupled with the picture of the yogurt in the logo might call to mind breasts.

With the slogan "frozen yogurt, that's hot" and this picture accompanying the employment section of its website, I think there is no mistaking which cups they're really talking about it.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Song of the Week

"That's the Way Love Goes" - Janet Jackson
One of the smoothest, sexiest R&B of the 90s. Janet Jackson at the absolute peak of her powers. And there's a pretty hot backup dancer too, at about 1:58 of this video. Hint: It's Jennifer Lopez.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

1 Swing, 3 Hits

A freak play helped the Giants beat the Cardinals in Game 7 of the NLCS. 2-0, bottom of the third, bases loaded, none out and Hunter Pence up. He swings, breaks his bat, but the ball hits the broken bat not once, but three times.

Shortstop Pete Kozma breaks to his right think Pence will pull the ball into the hall. But on third contact the ball actually goes up the middle, but Kozma can't recover. It goes for a 3-run double and the Giants take a 5-0 lead.

That's why you watch baseball, you can always see something you've never seen before.

The NFL is Poop - Week 7

The Quarterback I Would Want
You can have Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Aaron Rodgers. If I have the ball late in the game and I need one quarterback to drive my team down the field, I am taking Eli Manning. He has done this twice in Super Bowls and he did it again against the Redskins. I think things like this tend to build on themselves because the more you do it, the more you feel like you can do it which gives you the confidence to take chances. Perfect example is the touchdown to Victor Cruz. Many QBs wouldn’t have even tried that throw (or the one to Mario Manningham in the Super Bowl) but Eli has the stones to take the chances and make the throws. And that’s why the Giants are so good.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
It will be hard for me to be angry about anything this season. This year for RGIII is like 1986 for Mookie Wilson, “a year of learning and progress.” And it will be hard for me to keep going on these rants without mentioning, every single week, how awesome RGIII is, how he has restored hope the franchise and how happy I am to have him on my team. Because he can make plays like this one on 4th and 10 to keep a drive alive.
But the Redskins have lost 4 games this season, by 3, 7, 7 and 4 points. That’s four close games. One play can make the difference. Unfortunately the Redskins are unable to make that play. They turned it over four times against the Giants (although they had a very good turnover ratio coming into this game) and then the worst secondary in the league let Victor Cruz get behind them for a touchdown, when the one thing they couldn’t afford to do was give up a long touchdown. And then, when it was time for RGIII to work his magic again, Santana Moss fumbled and robbed us of that opportunity.

Back on Top
Going into this week there were only two teams in the AFC above .500. Those two teams played each other, and the Texans destroyed the Ravens. After getting blitzed by the Aaron Rodgers and Green Bay Houston’s defense smacked down Joe Flacco, and their offense moved the ball on the Ravens injured defense. It’s very rare that I put a team in the Super Bowl at the end of this column, and they stay there all season. The Texans, who have had many false starts before, seem like they are for real and could easily host the AFC title game in January.

Point Spreads Are Only For the Gamblers, Right?
Having picked the 49ers to win by more than 7 points you know I was angry when I heard that Jim Harbaugh declined a safety that would have given his team a 9-point lead, and the ball, with 40 seconds left. Here's the situation: on 4th and 17 from their own 4 the Seahawks completed a 16 yard pass. They were also flagged on the play for a chop block. Accepting the penalty would have meant a safety and a 9-point lead. Declining the penalty meant taking over on downs at their own 20. Before analyzing this decision we have to first accept that in 99.99% of cases either choice is going to result in a victory. The reason Harbaugh declined the penalty is because he didn't want to give the Seahawks a free kick, which would at least technically would open the door to an onsides-kick. Nearly impossible to recover an onsides, score a touchdown from 60-70 yards, recover another onsides and kick a field goal in 40 seconds. He opted for take ball and kneel twice, can't fault him either way.

Play of the Century
Amazing hustle by Saints safety Malcolm Jenkins. Josh Freeman hit Vincent Jackson on a long bomb and Jackson was streaking down the sidelines. Jenkins, ran halfway across the field and knocked Jackson out at the 1-yard-line. The Saints then stopped three runs by LaGarrette Blount and sacked Josh Freeman on 4th down. Jenkins saved 7 points, exactly the margin the Saints won by. He deserves a game ball, a raise and the nickname "Charlie Hustle."

Game of the Week
Tennessee Titans 35 Buffalo Bills 34

Not a game with huge implications as neither of these teams is very good, but it certainly had more excitement than anything else we saw this week. We got to see the Chris Johnson of old. He ran for 195 yards on 18 carries (10.8 per) including a 83-yard-touchdown. That touchdown was answered right away by Brad Smith, who returned the ensuing kickoff 89 yards.
For a guy who went to Harvard Ryan Fitzpatrick made a pretty dumb play. He got intercepted with 3 minutes to play and his team leading by 6. Matt Hasselbeck then lead the Titans on a 52-yard touchdown drive to win the game.

Game of Next Week
New Orleans Saints at Denver Broncos

The Saints are going to be playing must-win games for the rest of the season if they hope to bounce back from an 0-4 start. They will try to make it a 3-game winning streak. The Broncos are .500 despite a very difficult early season schedule. Two great quarterbacks and I expect them both to put up great numbers.

Picture of the Week
Just because I love those creamsicle uniforms the ExpensiveCornPrices used to wear.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Atlanta Falcons 31 Houston Texans 27

The Texans bounced back from an embarrassing blowout with a fine showing against the Ravens. But I can't have them beating the unblemished Falcons yet, even though Atlanta has been less than impressive in squeaking out wins against mediocre teams.