Thursday, February 11, 2016

Duke's Next White Prick

Throughout Duke's reign of terror as college basketball's most successful franchise, the school has always had hated white players.

Christian Laettner is most obvious but also JJ Reddick, Greg Paulus and others.

Here to take the mantle is Grayson Allen.

He's the guy who propelled Duke to the victory over Wisconsin in the National Championship game.

And now he is the guy who deliberately tripped a Louisville player

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

I Haven't Been to Red Lobster in a While

Red Lobster says it's seen an increase in sales since the release of Beyonce's new song "Formation."
Here's why:

For the hearing impaired, the lyrics go like this:

"When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster."

Red Lobster said sales surged 33 percent on Sunday, compared with last year’s Super Bowl Sunday.
“It’s clear that BeyoncĂ© has helped create some Red Lobster fans,” Red Lobster’s chief, Kim Lopdrup, said in a statement.

Johnny Manziel Beats Up Really Hot Chick

Johnny Manziel is accused of beating his gorgeous ex-girlfriend Colleen Crowley, hitting her so hard he ruptured her eardrum.
According to the affidavit she filed to get a restraining order against him (she got it, he can't have contact with her for two years) they broke up in December but she agreed to sleep with him on January 29th of this year at his hotel in Dallas after a night of partying.

"Manziel and I made plans to meet up at Hotel ZaZa after my friends and I finished partying. We planned to spend the night together in his room there.
"Two of my friends and I drove my car to Hotel Zaza...The three of us went up to Manziel's room. After some discussion about further plans for the night my two friends left...I stayed there with Johnny Manziel.
"We started having a discussion about things I had heard earlier in the week about him being with a girl who had caused us problems in the past. I told him if I was going to spend the night it would be on the couch"

At this point she says he threw her on the bed and though he claimed it was playful she was scared and tried to leave. He wouldn't let her. Then he dragged her down the stairs to the valet.

"When we got to the valet, I was crying and begged the valet, "Please don't let him take me. I'm scared for my life." The valet replied, "I don't know what to do" and proceeded to let Manziel literally throw me in the front passenger seat of his car."

Poop's note: This valet is a fuckin moron. You don't know what to do? A woman is begging you to help her and you don't know what to do? Call the fuckin cops. Was this valet Mike McQueary?"

As he was pulling out she jumped out of the moving car, but he drove after and "he grabbed me by my hair and threw me back into the car and got back in himself. He hit me with his open hand on my left ear for jumping out of the car."

Eventually he drove back to her apartment, threatening to kill himself and maybe her as well.
A neighbor overheard the fight and intervened at which point Manziel ran away.

Song of the Week

"Be Right There" - Diplo featuring Sleepy Tom
Maybe not so much a cover as an "interpolation" of Jade's "Don't Walk Away."
But no matter what you call it, I like it.

Tuesday, February 09, 2016

Diesel is the Best Dog Ever

I miss my best friend.
Found this post I had never completed.
Seems like Subaru knows my life.

Monday, February 08, 2016

Your Mother and I are Going on a Crooooooze

When Papa Poop asked me to drive them to the port in Bayonne I never expected my parents would later become part of an international news story.
But there they were, shut in their state room on Royal Caribbean's Anthem of the Seas while the ship was rocked during a massive storm off the coast of North Carolina. Waves of 30 feet and wind gusts of at least 75 miles per hour were reported.
At about 3pm Sunday afternoon seas started getting rough and all passengers were asked to go to their rooms and stay there. I believe my parents were seeing a show at the time and dinner afterwards (Papa Poop had agreed to skip the Super Bowl).

So they stayed in their room with nothing to eat except the minibar. Papa Poop ate a Snickers bar, some M&Ms and some grapes for dinner during the game (the TV signal never went out) but poor Mama Poop didn't fare as well, getting seasick.

Today it was decided that the ship would skip their appointed route and turn around and come home because of the forecast of more bad weather. The ship was damaged but mostly superficial, nothing that would make the ship unsafe.

So Mama Poop isn't going to Cape Canaveral or the Bahamas and she's probably not going to take them up on their offer for another cruise at a 50% discount (though she will gladly accept the full refund for this aborted cruise).

But Monday afternoon they briefly had an open bar and a frozen margarita helped ease her nerves.

Mama Poop did say she was fine, but wants off the boat, but is accepting this as a free 4-day vacation.

She was actually planning to zipline too, but all activities of that sort have been canceled.

Maybe next time.

Next Year Have This Guy Sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl

I've had enough of these diva singers dragging out the National Anthem and costing all us fine people who pick the under.
Next year, I vote for John Moschitta Jr. to sing the anthem. Here he is singing the first part of Michael Jackson's "Bad" in 20 seconds.

You probably remember this guy from a bunch of commercials he did in the 1980s, I remember the ones for Micro Machines.

Sunday, February 07, 2016

Super Bowl L Prop Bets

We're going in with the attitude that the Panthers will win, win big and Peyton Manning will get beaten up and have a bad game.

First team to score 17 points
Panthers -170
I don't even think the Broncos will reach 17 points for the entire game

First turnover of the game
Interception -160
I expect Manning to throw at least 3

Will the game be decided by exactly 3 points
No -450
You think one of every 5 and half games ends by exactly 3 points? I don't and this one I consider even less likely to be so

Total Interceptions - Both teams
Over 1 1/2 -180
I would expect Manning to throw at least 2

Pick Your Own Point Spread
Carolina Panthers -13 1/2 +250
Interesting concept here, I like this idea though because I have the Panthers in a blowout.

Total Rushing Yards by Jonathan Stewart
Over 68 1/2 -110
This doesn't seem like a lot

Will Luke Kuechly intercept a pass
Yes +230
He has pick-6s in each of the last two games, plus the Thanksgiving game as well

Peyton Manning Pass Attempts
Over 35 1/2 -110

Will Peyton Manning throw an interception
Yes -210

Total Receiving Yards Demaryius Thomas
Over 72 1/2 +120

Odds for MVP
Cam Newton 5/7
Luke Kuechly 12/1
After Manning and Newton, Kuechly is the third choice. Surprising, but I guess I'm not the only one who thinks the Panthers defense is going to dominate

Player to Score First Touchdown
Ted Ginn 10/1
Newton likes him and Greg Olsen, I'll go with Ginn at slightly higher odds

Final score
Carolina wins by 25-29 Points 14/1

Now on to the fun stuff
Length of Lady Gaga's National Anthem
under 2:20 -120
I don't view her as someone who is going to painfully drag it out

What color footwear will Beyonce wear at halftime
Black +150
The obvious choice

"Yellow" is not the first Coldplay song -380
How can it not be "Skyful of Stars" does this band even have other popular songs?

Beyonce cleavage visible -275
She'll start covered up and then rip off her clothes to reveal some kind of weird top with mesh covering her boobies. But you'll see it and I'll win this wager

Weekly Picks

Lost track of the scoring but I know I have 46 points which is decent but not good enough.

CAROLINA -5 1/2 denver

Going a little chalky here but I just don't trust Peyton Manning. I really like Carolina and Cam Newton and I think this could be an old-fashioned blowout like we used to see in the 80s and 90s.