Saturday, October 31, 2009

Weekly Picks

Giants fucked me last week which really sucks because the favorites came up big last week meaning it was easy pickings. I'm a little worried about the favorites this week coming off a week like that, especially those trying to cover big spreads, so I'll go with some unusual tactics and see what happens.

denver +3 BALTIMORE
I'll believe until someone beats them. This could certainly be the game they get their first loss but I just have a feeling.

BUFFALO +3 houston
Time for another home underdog.

CHICAGO -13 cleveland
Something tells me the Bears and Jay Cutler will bounce back from last week's embarrassment with a strong performance against the putrid Browns.

INDIANAPOLIS -12 1/2 sam francisco
I know I said I was a little nervous about the big favorites this week but this is Alex Smith versus Peyton Manning.

jacksonville +3 TENNESSEE

How do the Titans give points to anyone? I am going to keep picking against the Titans until the oddsmakers figure out how bad they are.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 18-17 (19 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (4-3)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (4-3)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 3-0 (8-7)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (5-7)

Friday, October 30, 2009

I Before E

British schools are asking teachers not to teach their students "I before E."
That's because there are too many exceptions to that mnemonic device.
And not just "except after C or when sounding like A as in neighbor or weigh."
The old saw "is not worth teaching" because of words like sufficient, veil and their.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Hotel Clerks Presumably Also in Cahoots with Erin Andrews's Videographer

The guy who taped Erin Andrews naked has been arrested and we are learning more about his scheme -- and thus far nothing to incriminate Andrews as being in on it.

Michael David Barrett was actually arrested for this "crime" and the whole thing kind of reminds me of George Costanza's famous speech in "The Fire."

"Instead of castigating me you should all be thanking me. What kind of topsy-turvy world do we live in where heroes are cast as villains, brave men, as cowards."

Note: his entire speech begins at about 55 seconds of this clip

Barrett risked his personal freedom to perform a great service to mankind and by all accounts never profited from his selfless act.

If we are to hold anyone responsible it should be the hotel clerks who granted Barrett's request when he asked for the room next to Erin Andrews.

I mean seriously how do you work at a hotel for even five minutes and think it's a good idea to grant someone's request for the room next to a hot sexy bitch like Erin Andrews. The only way I can understand it is if Barrett paid them a huge bribe.

Based on her actions in the clip (who straightens her hair naked?), all the hoopla and attention she garnered, as well as her faux outrage, I thought for a minute Andrews might have covertly or possibly overtly been involved in this scheme. But I am now starting to doubt that and I'm ready to believe she really was victimized by a crazed stalker.

A crazed stalker, through whose efforts we were able to see Erin Andrews's titties, but a crazed stalker nonetheless.

thanks to this man
we got to see Erin Andrews naked

What Do You Give Me For? Chase and the Cobra Kai on Halloween

For Halloween/Laurie Berkner pajama party concert Chase dressed up in the same costume the guys from Cobra Kai wore on Halloween.

this is Chase making a scary face
sweep the leg

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My Personal Crusade to Cure America's Social Ills

I have long said the biggest problem confronting America today is a lack of personal responsibility. In this country we don't make mistakes, we make excuses. We don't hold each other to a high standard of behavior, we don't hold one another accountable for misdeeds. But I do.

Note: for those of you bitterly remembering an incorrect answer on my Facebook quiz, that question referred to the most DISTURBING trend in America. Under that criteria the women who pay thousands of dollars to have their lips look like mine still disturbs me more than anything else.

Today while swiping my metrocard to pay $2.25 for a subway ride a young man hopped the turnstile. As I walked past him I said "next time you should pay like everyone else."
He replied, very dismissively, "ok."

If Mama Poop is reading this she is about to plotz thinking "are you crazy? He could have had a gun."

But I didn't say it in a confrontational manner and being somewhat bigger than this guy I didn't fear a physical reaction.

I just wanted him to know that his criminal behavior did not go unnoticed in my city.

Maybe if more people were as diligent in policing each other as I am the MTA wouldn't have to constantly jack up fares.

Song of the Week

"Love Like This" - Natasha Beddingfield featuring Sean Kingston

I know I'm not supposed to like pop music but everything this chick does is fire.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Can We Finally Stop Talking About This Now?

I'm sick of hearing reports that Mets owners the Wilpons lost millions in the Ponzi Scheme and therefore can no longer afford players and may be forced to sell the team.
Like any Ponzi scheme those who are first in make out like bandits while everyone else was holding the bag.
The Wilpons throughout the years invested $522.8 million dollars with Madoff. And over that time they withdrew $570.6 million.
Yes, they made money.
Now psychologically the Wilpons -- like many of Madoff's other "victims" -- took a huge blow because they thought they still had millions of dollars and all that went poof and disappeared.
But facts are facts, the Wilpons made money on Madoff, and may even be forced to repay some since they made out so well.
I hope that ends this discussion once and for all and get back to calling them cheap Jews when they fail to spend like the Yankees this offseason.

Monday, October 26, 2009

David Spade Mixing Drinks Octagonside

During UFC 104 during they showed David Spade sitting in the crowd. When he raised his hand to acknowledge the camera you could see he was drinking a Coke but in between his fingers was one of those little airplane bottles of Jack Daniels.

I wonder if they actually sell or provide those liquor bottles at Staples Center or did Spade make an alcohol run before the fight then sneak them past arena security.

Thoughts on the fights below the picture.

David Spade drinking Jack and Coke at UFC 104

Obviously the Lyoto Machida decision victory over Shogun Rua was very controversial. I kind of agree that overall Rua did more to win the fight but if all three judges scored it the same then maybe it wasn't a fix and Machida really won three of those rounds. Each of the first two rounds probably could have gone either way. Also, do you judge strikes to the head the same way you judge kicks to the leg. Yes Shogun landed a lot of kicks, and they did damage, but Machida landed many more blows to the head.

I also think the announce team influenced general opinion on this fight (though the in-arena crowd reacted as well). Mike Goldberg was harping on the scoring the whole time and Joe Rogan tried to dismiss him several times by saying basically "who knows what the judges see, forget about it and watch the fight." But Goldberg kept going leading to an argument over Machida's strategy, Goldberg saying he needed to do something desperate, Rogan saying desperation can get you knocked out, and Goldberg saying without desperation you get decisioned out of your title.

I love Machida and I'm glad he won but this is the problem with him sometimes. He's so elusive and so patient that some of his fights lack action. This one was kind of interesting from a technical standpoint, and there was action, there just weren't any decisive moments.

I think whichever way the decision ended up on this one would have been disappointing. Obviously, Rua losing pissed some people off but it would have been kind of hollow for him to take the belt with that performance.

What's the Beef?

Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez is caught on the sidelines eating a hot dog during his team's 38-0 win over the Raiders. Look at his technique, he's trying not to let the cameras see:

For some reason he had to apologize after the game. I don't understand why. He was hungry so he ate. How does that constitute showing up the opposition? Is it just because he was eating a hot dog? What foods are acceptable to eat on the sidelines.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Secret to A-Rod's Sudden Post-Season Success

For years A-Rod has been an enigma, one of the best players in baseball history, but every year of his Yankee career he failed and failed miserably in the playoffs.
But this year something changed. Through 8 post-season games this year A-Rod is batting .400, with a ridiculous 1.453 OPS. He has 5 homers several of which came in clutch situations late in games.
So what's changed?
Some are saying A-Rod is playing free and easy this year because he split with his wife, his marital infidelities are out in the open. So too is his steroid use. Those revelations may have freed A-Rod to just play -- without the pressure that may have been holding him back.

But I have a different suggestion. I think A-Rod is following a decades old baseball slump-busting ritual. He's enlisted the help of a "slump-buster" an ugly girl you fuck to break your streak of bad luck.

Kate Hudson is A-Rod's slump buster

Nick Swisher on the other hand is batting .118 in the playoffs.
His girlfriend is Joanna Garcia of "Gossip Girl" and "Reba" fame: