Saturday, February 04, 2012

Super Bowl Prop Bets

Team to Gain the First First Down of the Game
The Patriots have this odd habit of choosing to defer when they win the coin toss, they have done this in every game for 4 straight years. If the Giants win, I expect them to take the ball. Therefore I love the Giants to be the first team to make a first down.
Bet $1250 to win $1000
This was like stealing. Easy money
Profit/loss: +1000

Will the Game Be Tied After 0-0
I expect this game to be close and back and forth so I think it will be tied, at 7-7.
Bet $130 to win $100
9-9 doesn’t count. It had to be tied after a conversion.
Profit/loss: +870

Total Receiving Yards by Victor Cruz
I think Manning has a lot of comfort with Cruz and Cruz should be able to get open, and past the weak New England secondary. I like him to record more than 88 1/2 yards.
Bet $110 to win $100
Cruz only got 25 yards. Patriots were determined to let someone else beat them. Nicks and Manningham combined for 182 yards.
Profit/loss: +760

TD Passes by Tom Brady
I'm betting this game on the theory that the Giants will be able to get to Brady and make him uncomfortable. Even if they don't, 3 TDs could be a lot. I like under 2 1/2.
Bet $100 to win $110
Only 2 TDs for Brady
Profit/loss: +870

Will Rob Gronkowski Score a TD?
I'm also going to wager based on Gronk's injury being real and a hindrance to his performance. Even if he were healthy, I'd predict him catching a touchdown is no better than 50/50. So I'll no to this one.
Bet $100 to win $125
Gronkowski really was hurt, you could see it in his play.
Profit/loss: +995

Total Receiving Yards By Aaron Hernandez
This doesn't include running yards he may accumulate out of the backfield. But I still like his chances with Gronk being hurt, to get more than 67 1/2 yards.
Bet $125 to win $100
I can’t fuckin believe this. 67 yards. Ooooh that hurts.
Profit/loss: +870

Margin of Victory
I do think this will be a close lower-scoring game than most people think. But there are still chances the winning could put some late points on the board to make it seem worse than it is. Even though I don't think this will be the case, I like the Giants to win by 13-18 points at 8 to 1 odds.
Bet $100 to win $800

Profit/loss: +770

Tom Brady Passing Yards
This is tricky because if the Patriots are losing they will be throwing all over the field. But if you pick anything over 250 yards your odds are too slim to make it worthwhile. Again, if I were predicting I'd say 300 or more, but I like the price of 200-249 at 7 to 2 odds.
Bet $100 to win $350
Brady finished with 276, but I think the odds on that were 5 to 4, not worth the risk.
Profit/loss: +670

Final Score
I like the Giants to score 24 points at 8 to 1
Bet $100 to win $800
Patriots to score 21
Bet $100 to win $1200

Profit/loss: +470

Now onto some looser props from Bodog
Super Bowl MVP
I think the Giants have a better than 50% chance of winning this game. And I view it as almost impossible that Eli doesn't win the MVP if that's the case. So I'll take him at 9 to 4 odds.
Bet $120 to win $270
Glad I got this one right.
Profit/loss: +740

Just for fun I also like Jason Pierre-Paul at 25 to 1
Bet $10 to win $250

Profit/loss: +730

National Anthem
A staple of Super Bowl betting. Seems like the oddsmakers view Kelly Clarkson as a no-nonsense kind of girl. I agree, but a minute and 34 seconds is too short. Take the over.
Bet $110 to win $100

Apparently this one was so close you had people rewinding their DVRs. It was literally a half-second above 1:34.
Profit/loss: +830

How Many Viewers
The line on this 117 million. That would smash the record which I believe is 111. I think people are hyped for this game and I think a close finish will put this game over the top.
Bet $140 to win $100

The game did set a record, but at just over 111 million. I still can’t understand what 200 million people were doing Sunday night if they weren’t watching the game.
Profit/loss: +690

What Will Happen with the Dow Jones on Monday
We've been in a pretty steady rally mode lately. I think it continues on Monday. I pick the Dow goes up.
Bet $140 to win $100

Down 17 points
Profit/loss: +550

What Color Gatorade?
Another bet I like to do each year, just for fun. This year I'm picking orange at 5 to 2.
Bet $20 to win $50.
Mrs. Poop says it was purple.
Profit/loss: +530

Chad Ochocinco Receptions
I could totally seem them doing something crazy with him and putting him out there. But seeing as how he hardly ever plays, I'm going to say zero catches (under 1/2)
Bet $100 to win $135
He actually caught one. I was shocked.
Profit/loss: +430 (not bad, though I tanked after winning that first fictional bet for $1000)

Friday, February 03, 2012

Bad Luck Charm

On November 8th the New England Patriots cut Albert Haynesworth.
The Tampa Bay ExpensiveCornPrices picked him up, and lost all 8 games with him. The defense allowed more than 30 points in 7 of those games.
Over that same span the Patriots won all 10 games, and never allowed 30 points.
Assuming they don't sign him today or tomorrow, this obviously means New England will win the Super Bowl.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

This Can't Wait Either

I thought Matthew Broderick's send-up of "Ferris Bueller" for a Honda ad was quite clever. But I may have set a dangerous precedent. Because now I have to share this Jerry Seinfeld ad for Acura which has several great "Seinfeld" references sprinkled in. This commercial is at least 3 times as good as the Broderick one, but it will be the last I post before the Super Bowl.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Toning It Down This Year

Ines Sainz, who set tongues wagging at Super Bowl Media Day 5 years ago, and launched the second most popular post in Poop history, toned down her style this year.
Appearing before the Giants and Patriots in a demure white blouse.

The World Got a Lot Less Cool Today

Don Cornelius, host and creator of "Soul Train" was found dead today in his Los Angeles home of an apparent self-inflicted gun-shot wound to the head.
Cornelius was 75. You think if you could make it to 75 you might as well just play out the string. We don't know yet if he got some recent health news that prompted this.
Cornelius was just about to finish 3 years of probation he was serving for pleading no contest to assaulting his ex-wife, Russian model Victoria Avila-Cornelius.
Many people who Googled Cornelius today found this picture of Don and Victoria. It looks like they are attending some kind of TV Land event. But it looks like she is dressed for the SAG Awards.

Song of the Week

"I Do" - Young Jeezy featuring Jay-Z and Andre 3000
I love when gangsta rap gets romantic. But if you had any questions about who is a superior MC between Jay and 3K, you have no more doubts now.
"Let's put a baby butterfly up in your lil cocoon
And maybe 2030, our baby, she'll be nerdy make the whole club swoon.
She'll love books
and cook
and look
Just like you"

Song suggested by Billy

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

This Can't Wait

Normally I wait until after the Super Bowl to post about the commercials but since millions of people have already watched the Matthew Broderick Honda CR-V send-up of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" I thought I should share it now or never.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Now I'm in the Mood for Chipotle

The town of East Haven, Connecticut is grappling with tension between its Latino community and the police force, which has no Latino officers. But don't worry Mayor Joseph Maturo has a plan to reach out to the Latino community:

"I might have tacos when I go home, I'm not quite sure yet."

While this was obviously a distasteful and inflammatory thing to say I once again want to point out how ridiculous it is to call someone bigoted for merely suggesting a certain ethnic group likes to eat a certain type of food. That's why they're called ethnic foods.

It is not racist to say Mexican (not all Hispanics) people like to eat tacos.
It is not racist to say black people like collard greens and fried chicken.
It is not racist to Jewish people like matzo ball soup.

But this mayor is still a moron.