Saturday, September 29, 2012

Weekly Picks

I got royally fucked over by one of the biggest screwjobs in NFL history. Why does it have to be that one crazy game happens every 20 years and I have to have it as my best bet. Very frustrating. But I have noticed a trend. I am 5-0 picking underdogs this year, 2-8 picking favorites. So this week I am picking 5 favorites and seeing what happens.

san francisco -4 1/2 NY JETS
I still think the 49ers are good. And the Jets are not. The 49ers are 2-1 and in second place but they beat two really good teams and just had a letdown. The Jets are 2-1 and alone in first place but they beat two bad teams and really aren't very good. I expect Sanchez to struggle mightily against the 9ers defense.

cincinnati -1 JACKSONVILLE
I watched the Bengals last week and I think they are pretty good. They have a very easy schedule and could be 5-1 in a few weeks. But Jacksonville hasn't been as bad as I thought they would be.

ARIZONA -4 1/2 miami
Believe what you see, not what you believe. The results are telling us the Cardinals are a pretty damn good team and the Dolphins are not. The Cardinals great defense against the weak Dolphins O should lead to a blow out.

GREEN BAY -7 new orleans
Believe what you see, not what you believe. The Saints stink. The Packers don't but due to some bad luck they desperately need this game.

san diego -2 KANSAS CITY

This could go badly but I'm trusting my read here. The Chargers played great for two weeks then got blown out at home by an awesome team. The Chiefs got blown out twice then barely beat a bad team on the road. I'm predicting that will normalize this week.

Last Week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 7-8 (4 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (0-3)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (1-5)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-0)
Road Favorites: 0-2 (1-3)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (3-0)

Friday, September 28, 2012

Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him

A University of Tennessee student was dropped off at the local medical center with a blood alcohol content of above 0.40. The legal limit in most states is 0.1. And 0.4 death can occur.
You wouldn’t think someone could drink enough to become that intoxicated, you’d throw up or pass out first. Turns out he didn’t drink that much. The zany brothers in the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity were giving each other alcohol enemas, also known as butt-chugging. Police found this out after “extensive questioning” of the brothers.
Here’s how it works: you put a rubber tube in your ass; then pour the alcohol into the tube with a funnel. Why would you want to consume alcohol through your ass? There are a lot of capillaries and blood vessels in the rectum, therefore the alcohol gets into your blood stream faster and it skips the filtering by the liver.
It actually seems pretty ingenious when you think about it, except for the part about nearly dying.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Song of the Week

"Dope Chick" - The Dream featuring Pusha T
This is The Dream's third appearance on SOTW. I believe that is close to Jaheim's record. Bonus points for bring back Pusha T formerly of Clipse.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The NFL is Poop - Week 3

Nightmare Scenario

The worst possible scenario happened: the replacement officials blew a call directly affecting the outcome of the game. Golden Tate and M.D. Jennings wrestled for the ball. The two officials standing next to each other ruled it differently.

This was not the case of simultaneous possession because Jennings clearly had his hands on it first. If that's the case, if one guy catches it first, and maintains possession, even though another player grabs it and possesses it later (exactly what happened here) the first player is deemed to have caught the ball. This is not like the NBA situation, you don't have a tie-up.

But don't put all the blame on the replacement officials. A non-replacement supervisor and non-replacement replay official were both involved, and obviously didn't force the refs to overturn the call. ESPN also messed up saying the play was not reviewable because it was simultaneous possession. It wasn't and even if it had been, it still was reviewable according to Rule 15, Section 9 which says the question of whether a pass was “ruled complete/incomplete/intercepted” is subject to replay review, with no exception for questions of simultaneous possession.

Oh, and they also missed an obvious pass interference call on Tate, though it is rarely called on Hail Marys.

Thank God That Didn't Happen to Bill Belichick
Bill Belichick was angry over a pass interference call (likely the right call) and a field goal that was ruled good even though it went over the upright (almost certainly the right call), the legendary coach assaulted one of the replacement, grabbing him by the arm. He probably wanted to discuss the calls, even though the game was already over. The officiating marred a terrific team between two of the AFC's best teams who are quickly becoming bitter rivals. I can't imagine what he would have done if he had been on the wrong end of that blown Hail Mary call.

Picture of the Week
The big story of the Ravens win over New England should have been Torrey Smith. Just after midnight Sunday morning, Smith received a call that his 19-year-old brother Tevin had been killed in a motorcycle accident. Smith left the team hotel to be with his family. He came back to the stadium at 4pm and told John Harbaugh he wanted to play. Smith had 127 yards and two touchdowns, after both he kneeled down and pointed to the heavens.

Even Sean Payton Couldn't Fix This Mess
The Saints aren't a distracted team missing its coach. They are a bad team with a bad defense and after Sunday maybe a lack of heart as well. They are perhaps off to the worst start in NFL history. The only NFL team to start 0-3 with all 3 losses to teams that all lost their other 2 games, meaning they are 0-6 against everyone but the Saints. The latest loss (which hurts a little more because I picked them in the Eliminator pool) came as they allowed 21 straight points, the last 14 of which didn't come on two touchdowns, but on four field goals and a safety.
And you can't just blame the defense. After Jamaal Charles went 91 yards to make it 24-13, here are the Saints offensive possessions:
4 plays, 46 yards, interception
3 plays, 2 yards, punt
3 plays, -8 yards, punt
2 plays, -9 yards, safety
3 plays, 0 yards, punt

You are reading that correctly. On their last 11 plays, they totaled -15 yards. They say the best offense is a good defense. But sometimes a good offense can help your defense too. Any kind of sustained drive probably would have at least gotten the Saints a 3-point win.

Game of the Week
Tennessee Titans 44 Detroit Lions 41

I guess I pre-ordained the outcome of this one when I said the Titans couldn't put points on the board to keep up with the Lions. They went out and had an historic game with 5 touchdowns of over 60 yards.
Tommie Campbell 65 Yd Punt Return (off a cross-field lateral.
Jared Cook 61 Yd Pass From Jake Locker
Darius Reynaud 105 Yd Kickoff Return
Nate Washington 71 Yd Pass From Jake Locker
Alterraun Verner 72 Yd Fumble Return

After all that, and losing their QB Matthew Stafford, the Lions still had a chance to win. But on 4th and 1 from the 7, in overtime, the Lions went for it and got stopped, instead of kicking the field goal and at least rolling the dice with their horrible defense. Shaun Hill got stuffed and then thrown under the bus. After the game Jim Schwartz said the play call was to try to draw an off-sides penalty and if not call timeout and kick. Implying that Hill called his own number against the coach's wishes. I would have kicked, but I can understand if he said his best chance to win was going for it, instead of giving the Titans the ball needing only a field goal against his porous defense.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
The Redskins defense is terrible. 32, 31 and now 38 points allowed. Without Brian Orakpo it is only going to get worse. The secondary is horrible. Three of the Bengals touchdowns were passes of 48 yards or more, including one thrown by a wide receiver on the first play of the game. They spent far too long chasing after the Bengals.

As far as the offense goes, RGIII is still awesome. He played horribly in the first half but mostly because the play-calling was run, run, pass. When they opened it up in the second half he began to hit some passes. I think they ran too much option and I fear he won't be able to stay healthy if he doesn't become more a pocket passer, but the offense is definitely improved. The Redskins didn't score more than 28 at all last season. So far they haven't score fewer than 28.

Picture of the Week
Raiders wide receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey was on the wrong end of a vicious helmet-to-helmet hit. He was laid out for about 10 ten minutes, strapped to a board and carted off the field. As he was being driven off the field, he gave the thumbs up. Seems good, but Mike Utley did the same thing in 1991. And he hasn't walked since. Heyward-Bey's injury is not thought to be as severe. He is expected to make a full recovery.

Game of the Week
New Orleans Saints at Green Bay Packers

Ok, so the team's are a combined 1-5. But I still love their offenses and they are still great stories. Imagine if both are 1-3. Very hard to climb back from that. Plus, the Packers took one of the worst beats in NFL history. How will they respond to that.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Atlanta Falcons 31 Houston Texans 23

Two teams that have been thought of as sleepers in the past are finally coming into their own this season. The Falcons look scary-good on offense. I'm still not convinced about the Texans, but the AFC is very wide-open this season and it's very possible the Texans can sweep their 6 division games.