Saturday, January 07, 2006

My Heart is Beating Again

That was the worst offensive performance in the history of the NFL playoffs. But as Mookie Wilson once said, "mirrors, magic wands, all that counts is that we win the ballgame."
Thank the lord for our defense. The great Lavar Arrington was in the right place at the right time. Marcus Washington came up big on two huge turnovers and luckily he fumbled it away to Sean Taylor or else we probably wouldn't have scored.
Speaking of Taylor, I had a meltdown after that penalty, but if he spit on a guy he deserved a 15 yarder and an ejection. But Pittman should have been penalized too.
Brunell was awful. That interception was horrible.
Our punter, a 14-yard punt with a minute left in the game. Jesus, that was awful. But we won. My hands are shaking while I'm typing this. See you in Seattle.
The coach of my youth has returned to bring us to the next round, 17-5 in playoff games

Game Time!

After a week of talk it's time to get it on. For the next four hours or so I will be screaming and ranting like a raving lunatic. I will be on an emotional roller coaster. I can only hope at the end of the ride the Redskins will be victorious.
Let's Get It On!

Vanity Fair's Idea of Nudity

Went to the newstand to check out the "nude" pictures of Lindsay Lohan in the new issue of Vanity Fair. As I expected, while fitting the tecnical definition of nudity, Lindsay was completely covered.
Next time Vanity Fair will ask her to strip down and stand behind a brick wall with only her face showing and bill those as nudes. Or maybe satellites photos of earth taken while Lindsay was in the shower.
One thing I did notice, Lindsay is completely covered in freckles, and its actually pretty unattractive.

Other Lohan news: Check out this screen grab of CNN's website from Wednesday.

You may have also heard that Lindsay was hospitalized with an asthma attack in Miami on New Year's. A friend brought a bag of supplies to her in the hospital. The friend brought Lohan a pregnancy test in addition to playing cards, mouthwash, Coke and a box of Cocoa Puffs.

At least she has good taste in cereals
Wouldn't a hospital have pregnancy tests?

Marcus Vick Kicked Off the Team

Virginia Tech has had enough of Marcus Vick. The last straw was his stomping on the leg of Louisville's Elvis Dumervil during the Gator Bowl.

Here are his transgressions:
Sept. 2, 2003: Suspended for one game for undisclosed reason.
Feb. 17, 2004: Arrested and charged with four misdemeanors -- three for allegedly allowing underage girls to have alcohol and one for allegedly having sex with a 15-year-old at a January party.
May 14, 2004: Convicted of three counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and sentenced to 30 days in jail and fined $2,250. Found not guilty of having sex with the 15-year-old.
July 3, 2004: Charged with reckless driving and possession of marijuana after a traffic stop about 25 miles east of Richmond, Va. at 2:30 a.m. Police said he was clocked at 86 mph, 21 mph above the speed limit, and that the vehicle smelled of marijuana.
July 6, 2004: Indefinitely suspended from football team.
Aug. 3, 2004: Suspended from the university for the 2004 season on same day he pleads guilty to reckless driving and no contest to marijuana possession in New Kent, Va. Is fined $300, has driver's license suspended for 60 days and give up his driver's license for six months.
Jan. 17, 2005: Cleared to rejoin football team and re-enroll at Virginia Tech.
Oct. 1, 2005: Makes obscene gesture to fans who have been calling him a rapist.
Dec. 17, 2005: Pulled over by police in Hampton, Va. for driving 38 mph in a 25 mph zone and driving with a suspended license. This incident was not disclosed until today.

Virginia Tech said it allowed Vick back into school this year with the warning that if he screwed up again he'd be out. Unfortunately it seems like they made an exception after the driving incident so he could play in the Gator Bowl.
Making matters worse for him, he said that stomping on Dumervil's leg was an accident, and that he apologized to Dumervil after the game. Kate studied the tape and said "he definitely did that on purpose." Dumervil said there was no apology.
Vick doesn't seemed perturbed about this. "It's not a big deal. I'll just move on to the next level, baby." Asked if that meant he would enter the NFL draft, he said, "Yeah, definitely."

Friday, January 06, 2006

I'm a Douche

Earlier this week I stood in the rain for 45 minutes trying in vain to get Giants tickets from Ticketmaster.
Yesterday Adam alerted me to the fact that through work I was able to buy them for $125 ($20 above face). I ordered four tickets and told the Giants fans in my family (dad, brother, brother-in-law) that we would go.
Tickets were to be overnighted, and I had to send them to work because no one would be at home in the morning to get them.
I only changed some of the address info and ended up sending the tickets to 1 Time Warner Center in Fair Lawn, New Jersey.
Since there is no Time Warner Center in Fair Lawn, this posed a problem.
Thankfully I will be able to get them from the will call window on Sunday.

Wacky Warning Labels

Every year there is a contest for the Wackiest Warning Labels, warnings not to use products for certain things that you would never consider using them for. But some idiot might.
Like this warning on a heat gun:

Hot Air Paint Removal
Do Not use as a Hair Dryer

Pictures of other good ones.

Watch it Before it Airs

DirecTV is once again ahead of the times. Starting in March, if you have their new DVR box, you can pay $3 to watch certain FX shows (The Shield, Rescue Me, 30 Days) two days before they air.
You can also watch 24 and Prison Break for 99 cents after they air.
But that part doesn't seem to make sense. You have to have DVR to get the service, so then why would you pay 99 cents to watch a program you could have recorded. I guess it works for the rare instance when you forget to record something you really wanted to watch.


You ever shop for something online, particularly a movie, and the site offers up suggestions, "you may also like..."
If you went to Wal-Mart's website yesterday and tried to buy the Planet of the Apes DVD you would have been referred to movies about famous black Americans, Martin Luther King, Jack Johnson and Tina Turner.
Wal-Mart says the problem was a mapping error and it stopped the cross-referencing on its site.
It points out that Home Alone also contained links to those same movies.

Gambling Greatness

Every month before the Labor Department releases the numbers we wager on how many jobs have been created.
A few months I guessed 34,000 (for Kirby Puckett) and the number was 35,000. But I didn't know someone had actually been collecting dollars. The money was offered to me anyway, but since I didn't put up beforehand I didn't feel right collecting the winnings.
This month, the guy running the pool warned everyone that I would win again, and I did just that. I guessed 90,000 (well below expectations) and the number came in at 108,000.
I will spend that $7 wisely.
Kate, we going Sizzler!

Adam Would Be Crushed

Adam loves the Second Avenue Deli. He once had me get pickles, keep them overnight and bring them in the next morning for consumption at 6am.
Sorry for the longer than normal post, but its another NY Times article and I know some of you don't have access.
I also didn't want to edit it, because there are some good jokes at the bottom.

Hold the Mustard, Maybe Forever

Published: January 6, 2006
The Second Avenue Deli has survived turbulence and tragedy in its 51 years. The decline of the Jewish enclave on the Lower East Side did not kill it. The broad-daylight murder of its beloved founder, Abe Lebewohl, in a robbery in 1996 shut it down but briefly. Dietary fashion campaigns against artery-clogging fare like brick-thick pastrami sandwiches and fat-saturated potato latkes seemed only to make the lines of defiant fans longer.

On Sunday, facing a $9,000 increase in his $24,000-a-month base rent, the deli's owner, Jack Lebewohl, Abe's brother, pulled down the grates on the glimmering restaurant at East 10th Street and Second Avenue. The closing was described as temporary, but Mr. Lebewohl said yesterday that the next time the place opens it might very well be to clear out.

The rent increase is actually built into the lease that Mr. Lebewohl negotiated with the previous owners 15 years ago. The new owners have volunteered to come down $3,000 in the new rent, but no further.

"If I don't get this resolved in x number of days," Mr. Lebewohl said, "I'll vacate." He declined to say what "x" equaled but implied that it was a one-digit number. "Less than weeks," he said.

And so the mourning has begun.

"It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall," said the comic Jackie Mason, whose $10,000 reward for the capture of Abe Lebewohl's killer remains unclaimed. "A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile."

To Joan Washington, a community activist who has been going to the deli since shortly after running away from home at age 15 in search of the radical life on the East Side, the deli was about a lot more than a sandwich.

"It's not just a pastrami palace," said Ms. Washington, who is now 58. "It's the history of Lower East Side Judaism."

For all its legendary status, the Second Avenue Kosher Delicatessen, as it is formally known, is an odd sort of New York institution: It was already an anachronism the day it opened in 1954. The Yiddish theaters - Second Avenue was once known as the Yiddish Broadway - were mostly dark, and Jews and their businesses were leaving the East Village.

But Abe Lebewohl, a concentration camp survivor who had come to the United States just a few years before, was determined to make a go of it, and he did, eventually expanding from 10 seats to 250. Along the way, he fed countless homeless or otherwise hungry people at no charge and built a Yiddish Walk of Fame in front of the restaurant.

Even as the restaurant steadily raised its prices - the mammoth Instant Heart Attack, a pile of meat sandwiched between potato pancakes, is listed on the menu at $19.95 - Jack Lebewohl kept the place full and kept up the restaurant's tradition of helping out the less fortunate. Last year, he hired a down-and-out former pornographer, Al Goldstein, as a greeter.

"I have not eaten so well since I lived with my mom," said Mr. Goldstein, who was fired after he was found sleeping in the restaurant's basement. Mr. Goldstein, a noted gourmand until a recent stomach-stapling operation, declared the deli's shuttering "almost as sad as the closing of Chock Full O' Nuts," though he added, "I never thought Jack's pastrami was as good as Katz's. It's kosher. It was bland."

Mr. Lebewohl pointed out that he was not the only restaurateur on Second Avenue to fall on hard times. Across the street was a recently shuttered French bistro. Next door to it, workers were pulling down the sign from a pizzeria that had been in business for all of several weeks. Down at the corner of East Ninth Street was a closed Japanese restaurant with a "Store for Rent" sign in the window.

Mr. Lebewohl said that he had already received several offers to relocate, including one of a larger space a few blocks away at half his current rent.

One of the deli building's new owners, Martin Newman of Jonis Realty, said yesterday that he had tried to accommodate Mr. Lebewohl, who was a real estate lawyer before he was a deli man.

"All we know is we bought a lease that has this rent provision in it," he said. "Listen, we didn't want to put him out of business. I thought we were pretty fair."

Mr. Newman said he did not know if Mr. Lebewohl would really be unable to manage the higher rent. "I only know when you go in there at noontime, it's crowded, and he's charging $17.50 for a tongue on rye," he said.

Across from the deli, the general manager of the Telephone Bar and Grill, Karyn Seltzer, bemoaned the deli's apparent demise.

"It would be a really sad statement to make that, basically, if you are not supported by a huge corporation, then you can't survive in New York," Ms. Seltzer said, ticking off the banks, the Dunkin' Donuts and the Starbucks that have sprouted on her stretch of the avenue. "That's certainly not what the East Village is about."

Yesterday, the stars in the sidewalk in front of the deli shone untarnished - Hymie Jacobson, Zvi Scooler, Max and Rose Bozyk, and the rest. But the restaurant, with its ancient-looking white-tile floor, was dark, and the silver tables were bereft of their heaping bowls of mustard and free pickles.

Mr. Lebewohl said that if he had to close the deli for good, so be it.

"This is life," he said. "Life goes on."

Jackie Mason, however, questioned whether it would be worth living.

"If the pastrami sandwich goes down the drain," he said, "there's no hope for this country at all."

No more pickles for Thomas

Another Reason to Root for the Redskins

Tampa Bay played Scorpion's "Rock You Like a Hurricane" on the PA system at Raymond James on Sunday during their cheerleaders' halftime performance. Only problem was the game was against the Saints. Seems in poor taste in light of recent events. The Bucs say the song is a regular part of its rotation, but they will never use it again.

On a side note, I hate this song because Alan blasts it during Miami Hurricane games and its often the soundtrack to his rambling voicemails. One time I even played like the owner from Major League saying "I hate this fuckin song."

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Portis is at it Again

For his press conference this week Clinton Portis introduced Coach Janky Spanky, the guy who didn’t get the defensive coordinator job. Current defensive coordinator Gregg Williams just received a huge extension to prevent him from going elsewhere. The costume was a headset, whistle, padded gut.
He also had a clipboard with him which he used to draw up plays, including exotic blitz packages, that were basically just scribbles. He answered several questions about how to stop Clinton Portis.
You can watch the entire 15 minute clip but it runs out of steam when the reporters start asking serious questions. Its definitely worth a look though for the first couple minutes.
No sign of Coach Johnny White Guy this week

Another Farewell

We will miss his idiotic ramblings (get on the bus, mom calls you in from the park, drink the Kool-Aid) and of course his famous "you play to win the game" rant. But truth is, while he may have been good at game planning and motivating the team, he was a horrible coach once the game started.
Last year against Pittsburgh he blew the game by not being more aggressive trying to get more yards for his kicker. And this came a week after Marty Schottenheimer handed him a gift with the same play not to lose strategy.
That might have been the Jets one chance, now that Pennington's hurt and Martin is old.
I bet we'll see KC in the playoffs next year, and we'll see Herm do something dumb to blow it for them.
Hello!  You play to win the game

Seo Long

I'm sad to see the Mets trade Jae Seo. I think he had a really promising future as a starter. He was 8-2 with a 2.59 ERA last year. He outdueled Greg Maddux at Shea when I went to the game with Adam, Andy and Todd. He pitched so well and allowed so few hits that I didn't win one single put in the horrendous "cup game." Three weeks after that I saw him pitch poorly against Philly but the great Ramon Castro bailed him out with a 3 run homer off Urbina in the 9th. Seo also pitched great on my wedding day, in the middle of an awful skid for the Mets.
Back in 2003, when he was 5-2 with a 2.66 ERA in the end of June, I recommended that he be the Mets representative in the All-Star game, and offered to trade our Jay So(bel) for him.
I wish him well and hope Duaner Sanchez becomes a reliable reliever for us. I understand that we had surplus starting pitching and need bullpen help. Maybe this move will clear the way for Heilman to move into the rotation. I also predict Justin will love Steve Schmoll if only because it reminds him of Steve Schnall.
Thanks for the memories Jae

What's Mo Vaughn Been Up To?

Since eating his way out of baseball, Kate's all-time favorite Met, Mo Vaughn has been getting into the business world. Now he plans to open up a car wash in Massachusetts. But this is much more than just a car wash. The "Mo Vaughn Express Car Wash" will include include a touchless washer for fancy cars, a 160-foot tunnel for other cars, six bays for detail cleanings, quick-lube oil change bays, a gas station, a convenience store, a Dunkin’ Donuts, and a mini baseball park out back.
A Dunkin Donuts? Why doesn't that surprise me?

Orange is Mo's color, he doesn't look a pound over three bills here
black is slimming

Pretty Funny, Prett-ay, Prett-ay Funny

Larry David's op-ed in the New York Times. I post the whole thing because NY Times is a subscription website.

Cowboys Are My Weakness

Published: January 1, 2006
SOMEBODY had to write this, and it might as well be me. I haven't seen "Brokeback Mountain," nor do I have any intention of seeing it. In fact, cowboys would have to lasso me, drag me into the theater and tie me to the seat, and even then I would make every effort to close my eyes and cover my ears.

And I love gay people. Hey, I've got gay acquaintances. Good acquaintances, who know they can call me anytime if they had my phone number. I'm for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That's all.

Is that so terrible? Does that mean I'm homophobic? And if I am, well, then that's too bad. Because you can call me any name you want, but I'm still not going to that movie.

To my surprise, I have some straight friends who've not only seen the movie but liked it. "One of the best love stories ever," one gushed. Another went on, "Oh, my God, you completely forget that it's two men. You in particular will love it."

"Why me?"

"You just will, trust me."

But I don't trust him. If two cowboys, male icons who are 100 percent all-man, can succumb, what chance to do I have, half- to a quarter of a man, depending on whom I'm with at the time? I'm a very susceptible person, easily influenced, a natural-born follower with no sales-resistance. When I walk into a store, clerks wrestle one another trying to get to me first. My wife won't let me watch infomercials because of all the junk I've ordered that's now piled up in the garage. My medicine cabinet is filled with vitamins and bald cures.

So who's to say I won't become enamored with the whole gay business? Let's face it, there is some appeal there. I know I've always gotten along great with men. I never once paced in my room rehearsing what to say before asking a guy if he wanted to go to the movies. And I generally don't pay for men, which of course is their most appealing attribute.

And gay guys always seem like they're having a great time. At the Christmas party I went to, they were the only ones who sang. Boy that looked like fun. I would love to sing, but this weighty, self-conscious heterosexuality I'm saddled with won't permit it.

I just know if I saw that movie, the voice inside my head that delights in torturing me would have a field day. "You like those cowboys, don't you? They're kind of cute. Go ahead, admit it, they're cute. You can't fool me, gay man. Go ahead, stop fighting it. You're gay! You're gay!"

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

One for the Ages

What a great Rose Bowl! What a great way to determine a national champion.
A few observations:

1) Vince Young was awesome. He ran over, around and through the USC defense.
2) Pete Carroll made a huge mistake going for it on that 4th and 2. Sure, they probably would make that yard 9 times out of 10. But the risk was too great and the reward too small. Not only did it give Texas a short field, it gave them life. A punt, even if it resulted in a touchback would have taken away Texas' best option, Vince Young scrambling because there wouldn't have been enough time.
3) That Reggie Bush lateral was idiotic. If he had just held onto the ball USC could have gone in to make it 14-0, and it's a whole different ball game.
4) Then Vince Young doing it a few series later was even dumber, but it didn't backfire for him.
5) Keith Jackson needs to retire. He said the extra point was good even though the official they were showing was waving his hands to signal no good. He said USC called time out when clearly the 3rd quarter clock read 0:00. He butchered the name of the great John Stamos, proving he never saw one episode of Full House. He saw Pete Carroll talking to backup quarterback John David Booty and surmised that he was telling Booty to warm up. Were Leinart's arms still attached? Yes? Then Booty isn't getting any action, as much as Derek and Kate love his last name. I'm sure he made more mistakes, post them in the comments section.
6) I've got to be at work in 5 hours. I'll write more when I get there.

Moot Point

Tonight's great game showed why the BCS works. Because the two best teams get to play every year. Any other system would have exposed USC and Texas to potential injury, fluke play, or bad call that could have derailed the classic we watched tonight.
Nonetheless Derek makes an impassioned case for a playoff in college football.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Closing Argument

Time has come to end the BCS debate with Derek.

As you have seen throughout our debate the cry for a playoff in college football is an effort at homogenization with a shortsighted view that fails to consider what will be lost.

The current college football system is great the way it is. One or hopefully two teams (sometimes more) survive a season-long single elimination tournament and play in a highly anticipated contest for the national title.
Compare that to college basketball. Last year when UNC beat Illinois it was the first time in nearly 50 years that the two best teams played for the title. Proving that the “decide it on the field” mantra is a myth.
Compare it to the NFL when the best team in the league shuts it down for the final 3 weeks of the regular season because they’ve clinched home field advantage. And how would that work in college football where bowl games usually eliminate the home field. USC could have played its backups for the last three games.
Playoff proponents fail to recognize the fact that a playoff wouldn’t end controversy, just create different arguments.
Think back to October 15th. Michigan beats Penn State on the last play of the game to end Penn State’s title hopes. USC beats Notre Dame on the last play, keeping alive their title hopes. Those games don’t even mean half as much if there’s a playoff.
So think of what we gain with a playoff: an end to the bitching about who deserves to be in the final game and a beginning to the bitching about who deserves to be in the playoff.
What do we lose? A whole lot more than that.
So while you are watching the two best teams in the land go at it, remember how unlikely a matchup like this would be if Derek got his way.

Happy the regular season still matters
who gives a shit about Boise State

Strahan Will Play

Thanks, Jordan

Marcus Vick is a Dick

Seems as if this little punk has a sense of entitlement because of who his brother is. A few months ago ESPN Magazine wrote an article about how he'd grown up.
In the Gator Bowl Vick stomped on the back of the leg of Louisville defensive lineman Elvis Dumervil (the next Dwight Freeney, by the way).
Vick said he apologized to Dumervil.
“I haven’t heard from him,” Dumervil said. “As a matter of fact, he even talked more in the game after that. “It showed he’s a no-character individual.”
Apparently the incident wasn't shown on the telecast immediately because it occurred during an on-field interview with Michael Vick.

Marcus Mexico

Be a Playa

Distant Replays, the official throwback jersey supplier of NUCU, is having a 25% off sale. Everything on the entire site is 25% off until January 12th.

Focusing only on Mitchell & Ness jerseys, here are some suggestions:

Paul: I already have the Majestic version of this Albert Pujols so I won't be getting it. I am strongly considering shuffling around in this Ickey Woods.

Bill: He sleeps with a Walter Payton 8X10 picture over his nuts. This jersey would make a great blanket.

Adam: The man just won $575 thanks to Harley and me. He should at least pay respect to his idol (Randall Cunningham) in green or in white. Or he could respect the dead with this tribute to Jerome Brown. R.I.P #99.

Sobel: I don't know how he could choose between the Marks Brothers, Duper and Clayton. He might have to get both.

Leary: Lenny Dykstra, the man they call Nails on the Mets ballclub. Leary was 7 years old and in Shea when Lenny ended Game 3 of the 1986 NLCS with a homer off Bob Knepper. He did it! He did it! I just got chills.

Isaacs: Gooden and Strawberry deserve your respect. Forget what happened to them later on. Remember what they did for us in 1986. Remember how it felt for years as a kid on nights when Gooden was going to pitch. There's nothing worse than wasted talent.

Josh: To remind you of when you used to be a Packers fan. In case you ever move to Minnesota, if the Vikings just become really good.

Coach: Derek Jee-tuh!

Mike Friedlander: Would never wear a jersey.

Mike Sobel: No Ki-Jana Carter, sorry. The other Curt Warner is the best I could do.

Jordan: No Wally Backman, how surprising.

Justin: Mitchell and Ness doesn't make volleyball jerseys, or I'd get you the Karch Kiraly 1988 Olympic.

Derek: Believe it or not, no John Elways, which would go great with a foam horsehead.

Harley: No Jim Brown either.

Lindsay Lohan Naked

The latest issue of Vanity Fair will feature alluring bare-breasted photos, according to the New York Post.
In the accompanying interview, Lohan admits to drug use and bullimia.
She admits to drug use, says she's gotten that out of her system, but denied that she ever used cocaine.
She suffered from the eating disorder bulimia as recently as last May, forcing herself to throw up and turning a frightening skin-and-bones in the process.
"I was making myself sick," the actress says.
She adds that "Saturday Night Live" guru Lorne Michaels staged an intervention after she appeared on the show.
"I saw that 'SNL" after I did it. My arms were disgusting. I had no arms."
Soon after, she says, a paparazzi photo of her in a "great whore's dress" popped up in a gossip tabloid and drilled the point home.

I'll post pictures or link to them as soon as I can find them.

I Hate Stuart Scott

I hated him when he dissed me before taping Stump The Schwab and I still hate him. I hate everything about him. But especially his dick-sucking of athletes.
Stu hosted ESPN's New Year's Eve Party. With less than a minute to go until midnight, this was his big message:

"When you go to the sporting events and you're watching the athletes compete as hard as they can, stop booing, OK? There's no point in booing these athletes. They've all worked hard. They've all trained hard, and let's see you get out there and do it, all right? If you want to go and have fun and cheer your team, do that, but if your team, if your guy, if your girl doesn't do anything, c'mon, man, don't boo them."

F--- You Stu

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Portis' Mom Don't Take No Shit

Some asshole aka typical Eagles fan poured or tossed a beer towards Clinton Portis' mother and other family members. Portis' mom (Rhonnel Hearn) punched the alleged beer tosser (female) in the face. Ron Artest was proud. The Portis group was escorted to the field and watched the rest of the game from the sidelines.

"She busted some lady in the nose, but that'll just teach you about messing with her," Portis said.

Mama said knock you out

Found It!

Tracked down pictures of Jake Delhomme's ripped pants.

Still looking for shots of Strahan's bloody eye.

Jake was wearing a jock, that's a lesson to all you kids out there

Laura Quinn, Come on Down

If you watched the Fiesta Bowl, or read NUCU you will surely remember Laura Quinn.

Laura is the sister of Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn and the girlfriend of Ohio State linebacker AJ Hawk. She is also the latest contestant on Derek's favorite game.

I like the half and half jersey gimmick, Josh has the same one

Knicks Show Heart

Went to bed during the fourth quarter of last night's Knick game, then I sat there in the dark listening to Clyde and Mike Breen as the Knicks held off the Suns 140-133 in three overtimes. Very exciting game and hopefully a harbinger of things to come.
Eddy Curry dominated the smaller guys the Suns had to use to guard him after Thomas fouled out. He also had a huge block on James Jones to preserve a 135-133 lead.
David Lee rewarded Coach Brown for starting him with a Bill Walton-esque performance (10-11 from the field for 23 points and 15 rebounds).
Jamal Crawford played like Jesus Christ and LeBron James rolled into one, putting up a 29, 7 & 7.
Marbury even played great, scoring 32 points and dishing out 10 assists.
I really like the rotation of Curry, Frye and Lee up front. I believe Nate and JC can be a powerful backcourt.
Quentin Richardson and Jerome James have been a waste. James was suspended for last night's game for conduct detrimental to the team for not being ready to practice on Saturday.
Trevor Ariza, once one of the most promising Knicks, did not play at all and is likely going to be buried on the bench in Brown's new smaller rotation.

Some perspective, the Knicks are now 8-21. Last year, through 29 games the Knicks won twice as many games. They were 16-13 before stumbling to a 17-36 finish.

brothers don't shake hands
JC and his apostles

Monday, January 02, 2006

Jake Delhomme Split His Pants

Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme had his pants ripped by Keith Brooking in Sunday's game. It created a huge rip, which they tried to tape up. But Delhomme decided he needed to get a new pair eventually.
I wonder if Carolina switched to new cotton uniforms. Remember when the Yankees did that in Seinfeld. "They're running like penguins. Mattingly split his pants.
I think the nation's photographer's took New Year's Day off.
I could only find one picture of Jake Delhomme's ripped pants -- on the website The poster said he was fixated by "the shot of his jock barely covering his perfect, hairless (though I prefer a little fur) ass."
I also was unable to find a picture of Michael Strahan's bloody eye.

Thankfully Jake's snake did not pop out

Best Names in College Basketball

I'm going to do these all in links because I think its funnier to have the suspense of clicking a link and waiting for it to open so you can see the silly name.

Yeah baby

His parents don't love him

Justin and Sobel love this guy

Native American for ridiculous last name

If you want to read the whole list of 26 other sort of funny names, go ahead.

We'd be remiss if we didn't mention all-time great name guy, Ben Gay.
When Justin was complaining that his parents were charging him $250 rent to live at home I told him about Ben Gay. Justin said "I would gladly pay $250 a month to have my name not be Ben Gay."

Ben Gay

Just Ring the Fuckin Bell You Pansy

Life imitates art.
A veteran character actor who achieved cult-like status as fraternity brother "Blue" in the hit comedy "Old School" has died.
Patrick Cranshaw was 86.
His manager says Cranshaw died of natural causes Wednesday at his home in Fort Worth, Texas.
He appeared in dozens of movies and TV shows over a career spanning nearly 50 years.
He was probably best known as the elderly frat boy Joseph "Blue" Palasky in "Old School."
In the 2003 comedy, he is about to wrestle two topless girls but dies of an apparent heart attack from overexcitment. At Blue's funeral, Will Ferrell's character calls out in agony: "You're my boy, Blue!"
Fans would yell the signature line whenever they saw the actor and erected Web sites paying homage to Cranshaw's "Old School" character.
blue was his favorite color
You My Boy, Blue


According to some sketchy reports on some sketchy site, the real reason Manny Ramirez wants out of Boston is because his wife does. Manny apparently has a mistress in the area and Mrs. Ramirez wants to get away from her. Here's the part of the story that interests me most. Apparently all the major media outlets in Boston know about this, but no one has gone with the story. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that the newspapers and TV stations in Boston are at least partially controlled by the Red Sox.

Just Juliana being Juliana man

The Sad Story of Maurice Clarett

Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett is accused of robbing two people in an alley behind the Opium Lounge (a spot frequented by Daren Lynch) in Columbus, Ohio.
One alleged victim, Lucas Nyarko, said they were approached by a man dressed in black, who told them he needed something. Nyarko said the man pulled up his shirt and showed them a gun tucked in his pants. The man moved the gun to the front of his waistband and told them to empty their pockets.
Nyarko said after he handed the man his cell phone, a woman came out of the nightclub and yelled, ``Maurice!'' in greeting to the man, who hugged her. He then carried the woman, who police said was bar owner Tashona Corvi, toward the SUV, put her down and got in the vehicle.
He got away with only a cell phone.
Clarett was once a top running back and as a freshman led Ohio State a national title. Since then his life has gone straight into the toilet. He tried to turn pro and lost his eligibility. He made accusations about Ohio State's program. He got really fat and really slow. He blew a chance to make the Broncos over the summer. But reportedly he was going to get another shot with an NFL team as soon as today. A team could have signed him today and sent him to NFL Europe. But that won't happen now.
There's nothing in the world worse than wasted talent.

How'd We Do?

If you're a frequent NUCU reader, you've read about Harley and Adam's pool. They took a 1 game lead into this week. They differed with their closest competitor on only four games. I'll let Harley explain the rest:

"we won
it was miraculous. goodman/glantz had four games different than us - we had sd, they had den (sd - 7), we had tb, they had no (tb-13.5), we had ne, they had mia (ne -6.5), we had sf, they had hou (sf +1.5).
after yesterday's sd debacle, we were tied with three games left. miami was blowing out ne, so that meant we had to win the tb game and then the sf game (4 pm start). tb is up 7 basically the whole game. they then throw a td to galloway that is nullified by penalty, then punt. bouman sacked, fumbles, returned for the td and the cover which means it's all on the line with sf/hou. adam doesnt have directv, i do. even though i have 300 riding on the game, i can't even watch, it's so bad, i go to the gym for the first half. come back, it's 17-10 texans, on the phone with dave brown, i say, only way they tie this game is with a tony banks int, next play, boom, int returned for td, tie game. game goes to ot, the whole thing on the line, tony banks throws one up for grabs, picked, lateral, returned to the 20, nedney field goal wins the game and our pool."

Congratulations to Adam and Harley. And to me a little also. With a 4-3 record yesterday I improved to 43-28 on the season, a 62.66 winning percentage. And of those four games that determined the title this week, only one of those came across my desk. I picked Tampa Bay, and the rest, as they say is history.

If you see this man, call him a champion

He Was Right

All along Washington Post columnist and PTI co-host Tony Kornheiser predicted the Redskins would win their last five games and make the playoffs. He was right.
At around the same time I told Adam that if the Redskins ended up in any ties they would win the tiebreakers by virtue of conference record (they were 0-4 against the AFC).
Btw, Josh's wife loves Tony Kornheiser because he reminds her of me.

The Greatness of Lemar Marshall

On the Friday, December 23rd, I had the day off from work and was getting ready for the Giants-Redskins game. I was walking the dog and listening to the radio. They teased that they were going to be joined by Lemar Marshall. Though Diesel and I had already done our customary 2 loops around the park, I decided to keep walking so I could hear Marshall. By the time the interview was over, we had done two more loops, Diesel was exhausted, I was excited and slowly falling in love with Lemar Marshall.
He talked about Eli Manning, "he's had some trouble in away games so we want to put pressure on him. The only way I know to do that is by blitzing, and I know that's the only way Greg Williams knows."
He also spoke eloquently on Williams possibly leaving after the season, saying he hopes he stays but knows if he goes its because he got a better opportunity.
The next day, with 4:10 remaining in the third quarter, Marshall picked off a pass intended for Jeremy Shockey, then ran it back to the 20 after Shockey quit on the play.
Two plays later Clinton Portis went around end for a touchdown to give the Redskins a 21-10 lead.
Yesterday, the Redskins were trailing 20-17, when Marshall took over.
He tipped the ball up in the air, caught it and returned it to the 22.
On the next play, Portis did the rest to give the Redskins a lead and a playoff berth.
Portis said this play was designed for a two yard loss, but he ran into the line, spun, dashed outside and sprinted to the house

Sobel Makes the Call

When the Redskins were 5-6 my mom invited us over for Hanukkah dinner on January 1st. At the time I thought there was no way the game would be meaningful for Washington. When I found out how important it was I told my mom that we should try to eat early. It didn't quite work out that way. I watched the entire first half (and almost got an ulcer) but my mom served dinner just as the second half was starting. I was running back and forth from the dining room to the TV. After the Redskins punted to start the fourth quarter I sat down for a few minutes. Then Sobel called. He screamed "huge play," and told me about Lemar Marshall's interception. I sprinted down the hall. He was shocked that I was eating dinner during the game. "Tell your mom to make you a plate and eat in front of the TV. Tell her I said it's ok." My mom consented and I watched the rest of the game while scarfing down chicken cutlets. Thanks Jay.

We Did It!

The Washington Redskins are headed to playoffs after beating the Eagles 31-20.
We'll play Tampa Bay on Saturday at 4:30 on ABC.
If you remember, the Redskins got hosed the last time against the Bucs.
Hopefully this time the result will be different.

This means idiot Cris Carter on the often unwatchable Inside the NFL on HBO will have to wear a hog outfit on this week's show. But he'll probably just back out the way he did when he was supposed to learn how to do the Riverdance.

Sean Taylor's fumble recovery seals the victory
Pierson Prioleau celebrates the win by giving himself a Gatorade bath