Saturday, November 03, 2007

Just Another Brick in the Walk

The Mets are selling bricks in the Fanwalk planned for the area outside CitiField.



For only $195 you can get a small brick which holds 3 lines of text. I think that would be a really cool thing to do and somewhat affordable. Armchair GM has some suggestions for what your brick could say. The Mets will review your text though, so "I survived the collapse of 2007" probably wouldn't work.

John Elway, Drunk Asshole?

From the Rocky Mountain News:

Broncos Hall-of-Famer John Elway lost his thrill at Cherry Creek Grill.
There are conflicting versions of the story, but according to Elway, he and his girlfriend, Paige Green, along with pal Craig Andrisen arrived at the restaurant around 6 p.m. Wednesday and sat at the end of the bar. Throughout the course of the evening the threesome ordered drinks (the number is under dispute) and appetizers

Several hours later, when Elway attempted to order another glass of wine, he was told by the bartender that management was cutting him off. According to the former Broncos quarterback, he asked to speak to the manager.

"I asked her for her card to find out what her name was," Elway told me. "I said to her ‘If that’s your policy (to refuse him another drink), then that’s the way it is but I’m not coming back.’ We had been there for hours, and I appreciated them taking care of me, but we were just sitting there having a discussion. We weren’t even being loud."

Anne Wheeler, the manager on duty, claims that Elway was served seven glasses of wine (a number he disputes) and was cut off when he tried to order an eighth. For the record, Andrisen says Elway was refused a fourth — not eighth — glass of wine and was told that he had to order food if he wanted an additional drink.

"(Elway) got upset and was in my face a little bit," Wheeler said. "He stood up and towered over me and pointed his finger in my face. I apologized, and said I was sorry to hear that he would never come back."

Both Elway and Andrisen deny the alleged intimidation. "I did not stick my finger in the girl’s face or try and intimidate her," Elway said. "It was a matter of discussing things. I said ‘If that’s your policy that’s your policy, but I’m not coming back.’"

Personally I think Elway was angry because when he walked into the bar, the bartender said "why the long face?"

Happy Poop Day

Two years ago I decided to start a blog. It started because I used to e-mail my wife (now known as Mrs. Poop) a bunch of news stories everyday. And whenever those stories might interest someone else I added them to the e-mail also. Eventually I figured it would just be easier if everyone could read them, and that's why I started the blog.
At first I called it News U Can't Use.
But then after too many people at my job found out about it I decided to change the name to the Poop you all know and love today.
It has been an interesting experiment trying to chronincle my life somewhat while also providing cool news, entertainment and sports stories.
The blog has been a great tool for me, I've had a ton of fun doing it, sharing my thoughts, information and life with all of you. At times it has been a lot of work but I feel the reward for that has been the strengthening of some friendships, the rekindling of old friendships (DT and Damino are Poopheads) and making new friends altogether (Razor).
This is the 3091st post in the history of the Poop (including some things I've been working on but have yet to publish), that's an average of 1545 per year (I'm not counting this post in the averages since it's the first day of the third year), 128.8 per month, 29.7 per week and 4.2 per day.
Quite obviously, this is my favorite post (it garnered a record 11 comments) and this one was also great.

But those are obvious choices, here are a few other posts I really liked:
Hematomas
Elephants eating Matzo
The Carolina Panthers cheerleaders who really launched this blog
The night poor Diesel got sick

There's a ton of other great ones that I could point out, but I won't.

Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting (even though most of you never do) and I hope you've had as much fun with The Poop as I have.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Happy Halloween For Red Sox Fans

This Halloween, Jason Varitek gave trick-or-treaters something infinitely more valuable than a king-sized Snickers bar. The Red Sox captain sat in a lawn chair at the top on his driveway and handed out autographs, signing baseballs, hats, shirts, pillow cases stuffed with candy, and a green alien glove from a youngster's costume.
Christopher Roberts, 10, dressed up as the catcher - a white number 33 Red Sox jersey, baseball pants, and red colored socks pulled up past his calves - only to find himself standing face-to-face with his hero.
"He signed my shirt, right on the first three," Roberts said.
Two police cruisers came to direct traffic and control the crowd, which swelled to some 50 youngsters and parents on a leafy block in the tony village of Waban, in Newton.
The Variteks had a small Halloween gathering at their home that included the families of two other Red Sox players - third baseman Mike Lowell and Doug Mirabelli, another catcher. After the guests left, Varitek's oldest daughter, Aly, 7, had an idea: Dad should go out and sign autographs while she handed out Butterfinger candy bars.
"I couldn't really tell you how many there were, but it was a lot," Varitek said with a heavy sigh. "But it ended up being a good thing."

If Your Name Is Tracy Peterson, Be Worried

This story is so amazing and has so many nuances that I don't think I can explain it in a clever story fashion. I'm just going to run down the facts of the case.

23 year old Stacy Peterson is missing.


Two days before she went missing she told her aunt that she wanted a divorce from her husband.
She also told her sister than she feared for her life.
She is married to 53 year old Drew Peterson. They recently celebrated their 4th anniversary, meaning they got married when she was 19.
Drew is a Sergeant in the Bolingbrook, Illinois Police Department.
He told cops that Stacy called him Sunday night to say she was leaving and he thinks she ran away with another man.
Relatives said she was supposed to meet them Sunday but never did.
Her cell phone has not been used since Sunday night.
The couple has two kids, a 4-year old son named Anthony and a 2-year old daughter named Lacy. I'm not making that up.
Peterson has two sons from his previous marriage, Stacy is his 4th wife.
And speaking of marriage number 3, that wife, Kathleen Savio was found dead in her bathtub in 2004.
Peterson was bringing the sons back to Savio's house after a weekend visit but she didn't answer the door. When the finally got in the house she was dead in the tub.
Coroner's report ruled that she drowned, because her fingers showed pruning. But the tub was dry.
Peterson collected about $600,000 from life insurance policies and asset sales after her death.
If the worst is true, this guy killed his wife, married a girl 30 years younger, had a daughter, named her Lacy Peterson, knowing full well about the other Laci Peterson, then killed this wife too.

Weekly Picks

A strong showing in a disputed week. While I raised holy hell in my league to get the correct spread used, the backlash against me was surprising in its strength and in its numbers. But if it hadn't been for a meaningless Dolphins touchdown late in the game I would have been shoving a perfect week up everyone's asses. Evidently these losers can only get games right when an error causes the spread to be off by 13 points. No mistaken lines this week so I should resume my excellence and everyone else should resume their mediocrity.

green bay +2 KANSAS CITY
I have a terrible record picking road underdogs this season but I just have a feeling there's something special about those Packers. They find a way to win. Watching "Hard Knocks" caused a lot of us to write off the Chiefs this year but they have come alive after losing their first two games. I still don't trust them though. And like I said, the Packers have something special going.

san diego -7 MINNESOTA
The Chargers are back. Their early season slide plus the overrated home field has this spread at an even touchdown. I'd be shocked if the Chargers didn't win this game by 20 points.

dallas -3 PHILADELPHIA
You know my rule by now, if two teams are playing and the spread is a field goal or less and you know that one of them is significantly better than the other, pick the better team.

PITTSBURGH -8 1/2 baltimore
The Steelers are still lurking just behind the Chargers as potential threats to knockoff the Colts or New England. If those four teams play in the second week of the playoffs that would make for a great weekend. Anyway, the Steelers are really good and the Ravens are really bad. Their 4-3 record is deceiving because the beat St. Louis, San Francisco, Arizona and the Jets (6 wins combined). The Steelers bounced back from a loss to the Broncos with a better showing against the Bengals and they'll keep that going against a depleted Ravens team.

Best Bet
new england +4 1/2 INDIANAPOLIS

This may surprise some people but I am not wavering at all on my all New England all the time strategy. Yes they are playing the undefeated Super Bowl Champs, and they are playing on the road and they're favorites, but I feel great about this pick because for once the Patriots don't need a blowout. I probably won't have to sweat a late touchdown unless the Pats are up by 10 or 11. I have full confidence that the Patriots will win this game.

Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season so far: 22-18 (26 points - tied for 3rd, one point out of 1st)
Best bet: 1-0 (6-2)
Home favorites: 1-0 (9-5)
Home underdogs: 0-0 (2-0)
Road favorites: 3-1 (10-8)
Road underdogs: 0-0 (1-5)

(Note: Since the two disputed games were covered by the real spreads as well as the erroneous ones I'm going to count them in the categories they should have been in.)

He Owes the Mets a Cut

The Cardinals recently signed pitcher Joel Pineiro to a 2 year contract extension worth $12 million.
Three months earlier Pineiro was designated for assignment by the Red Sox.
In the last 2 months of the season he made 11 starts with the Cardinals and went 6-4 with a 3.96 ERA. Hardly worth $6 million per, especially for a guy who'd been 21-35 the previous 3 seasons.
But Pineiro tantalized Cardinals executives with his dominant performance over the Mets in the final week of the season, in the game that really drove the stake through the team's heart.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Would You Bang? Hope Solo

She was kicked off the USA soccer team (for one game at least) after she ripped the idiot coach who benched her.
But who cares whether she should have started against Brazil, the more important question is would you let her use her hands on your balls?




$11 Million is Not Enough

The Westboro Baptist Church of Kansas and its members were ordered to pay $10.9 million dollars to the family of Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, who was killed in Iraq.
Members of the church protested at Snyder's funeral and the funerals of other soldiers killed in the line of duty.
They are not protesting the war, they say the war is God's punishment on this country for our tolerance of homosexuality.
Armed with signs that say God Hates Fags (godhatesfags.com is their website), they plan to keep protesting military funerals.
There's no point in expressing how I feel about these people because any reasonable person knows how fucked up these wackos are.
The problem is they're disrupting the funerals of brave men and women who are dying to protect the rights (free speech, free assembly) which they are hiding behind.

Creative Costume

Lions quarterback Jon Kitna showed up at a Halloween party this week dressed as a naked man. His wife was dressed as a Wendy's drive-thru employee. This reminded many people of the incident in which Lions Coach Joe Cullen was arrested for driving naked through a Wendy's drive-thru.
Insensitive yes, but also funny.

Unbreakable

Kate Williams, a 3 year-old girl, survived a plane crash that killed her 65 year-old grandfather and another man.
The plane crashed in British Columbia, Canada in bad weather.
Rescuers found Kate, who was called "Super Kate" by her late grandfather, hanging upside down in her car safety seat.
Rescuers say her grandfather strapped her in so securely, and that's why she was able to survive the crash with only a black eye and a few bumps and bruises.
When rescuers found Kate she knew her name and age and asked to be reunited with her stuffed penguin, Pablo.
They believe she was hanging there for about five hours after the crash.

Super Kate with Pablo and her grandfather

Orange in the Apple

On my way to work I was stopped at a light next to a cab. When I looked over I saw the cab's billboard was promoting SU sports. In between pictures of Mike Williams and Paul Harris was the slogan "New York's College Team."
Funny but I don't think the 2-6 Orange football team is gaining any new fans this season especially not in New York City, which is probably the most indifferent city to college sports of any in the country.
Maybe future Coach Mike Hopkins can get the kids at the West Fourth courts talking about Orange basketball.

Dog in Deep Shit

Dog the Bounty Hunter, aka Duane Chapman, is in the middle of a racial controversy, because of his efforts to avoid one.

Dog called his son and screamed at him to get rid of his black girlfriend because he was afraid that he or someone he works with would use the word "nigger" in front of her and she'd call the National Enquirer and start a racial mess.

Ironically, the phone message he left for his son trying to prevent that outcome ended up in the hands of the National Enquirer and caused exactly the type of outcome he was hoping to avoid.

A&E says it will stop airing his show.

Listen to the NSFW phone call.

Sometimes Love Makes A Lot of Sense

While some relationships make no sense at all, this is one marriage that seems to work perfectly for both partners.

Ice T and his wife CoCo. Ice T is 49, CoCo is 28. Ice T has lots of money and CoCo has huge tits (39DD) and a huge ass (40 inch hips). Ice T used to be a pimp and CoCo is happy being paraded around as his whore. They should live and be well.




Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Fuck You Halloween

look carefully at Chase's right hand

For more great Halloween pictures go to Chase's blog.

Knicks Season Preview

The 2007-2008 Knicks should be better than they were the past two years. Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry can provide a great lowpost duo. Stephon Marbury and Jamal Crawford can provide instant offense. David Lee and Renaldo Balkman can provide energy, intangibles and rebounds. But I cannot provide my support.

I won't root for another team (though I will follow the Nuggets), but I can't actively root for this team. The star player (still Marbury) is a jerk who coerces younger women into sex, condones dogfighting and makes drunken TV appearances.

The general manager and coach sexually harrassed an executive and ran the team into the ground. He has not been held accountable for either action.

And the team's owner is a spoiled rich kid whose idiocy is surpassed only by his arrogance. He has an employee who is the public face of his franchise and cost the team $8.6 million and the owner personally $3 million and he's terrible at his job. Yet Dolan refuses to fire this individual.

David Stern said the Knicks "were not a model of intelligent management," which is the understatement of the year.

I love the Knicks and the Knicks will always have my loyalty. But the passion I felt during the 1994 run and especially during the magical 1999 run ("Houston, Sprewell, fuhgeddaboutit!") has waned dramatically. When Marbury and Isiah are gone I will throw the team my full support again. But as for this year, I'll pay attention, I may watch a few games if nothing else is on, or if they're playing someone good, and I'll uphold my Martin Luther King Day tradition with The Concierge, but I won't live and die with this team as I usually do.

Mets Makeover Possibility

Here's a wild idea for the Mets this offseason. It sounds crazy but it's actually plausible.

Trade Jose Reyes and Mike Pelfrey to the Twins for Johan Santana.
Sign Johan Santana for 6 years $150 million and sign Alex Rodriguez for 10 years $300 million.

You add roughly $55 million per year to the payroll, but if you get rid of Green ($9.5m in 2007), Glavine ($7.5m), Castillo ($5.75m) and LoDuca ($6.2m), plus Reyes ($2.5m in 2007, $4m in 2008), that's a savings of about $33 million. And you wouldn't need to spend much to replace those guys because you have Milledge, Santana, A-Rod, Gotay and Castro (who could be resigned for about $2 million per) to fill those spots.

Also, when Delgado ($16m in 2008), Pedro ($11m in 2008) and El Duque ($6.5m) go after next year there would be money left over.

This would give you a line up of Milledge, Beltran, Wright, A-Rod, Alou, Delgado, Castro and Gotay. The rotation would be Santana, Pedro, El Duque, Perez and Maine. That seems like a good team to me.

When answering this question please go by only the information contained herein not other eventualities such as if Humber were in the deal instead of Pelfrey or if the Mets could still keep Alou.

Also I know that the cost of the contracts of Green and Castillo were defrayed by other teams but I tried to keep it simple.



My answer is no, for a simple reason. Alex Rodriguez is not a winning player. Something about him is contrary to winning on every team he's played for. I wouldn't want to take the chance that his selfishness and lack of clutch hitting torpedoes what I still believe is a bright future for the next 10 years.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,769

On her first Halloween my niece Cayla was a butterfly, because Mrs. Bates loves butterflies.





On her first Halloween my niece Jenna was a sunflower, because Step On Me loves sunflowers.



Because Chase is already a baby, Mrs. Poop dressed Chase up this year as something I love.

Happy Halloween

I know, Diesel is wearing the same costume as last year
Chase loves football

Halloween in the Poop House

Here's what I expect to happen based on past experiences:
Diesel will freak out everytime the doorbell rings as if the house were being invaded by Michael Vick and his friends

Mrs. Poop will complain that she gave her special goodie bags to 30 year old women who come around collecting candy in their fake Louis Vuitton bags

I will try to eat all the Halloween candy and sigh every time a kid comes by because I know that means less candy for me

After the first two kids come by Mrs. Poop will say "I hope we bought enough candy" and then when no kids come for 15 minutes after that she'll say "why isn't anyone coming to our house? Why did we buy so much candy?"

I'll go to the bathroom for 30 seconds during which time 20 kids will come, the dog will go nuts, the baby will cry and I'll get yelled at for having a small bladder

This is Chase's first Halloween so I'm not really sure how he'll handle but I expect him to cry, eat and sleep

As Seen on CNN

CNN is doing a special Halloween expose of sexy costumes. In their video showing the advertising for some of these costumes they have shown packages which have porn star Jesse Jane modeling the costumes.
I doubt any of the people at CNN know who she is.


You Can't Say Anything

John Tanner, who works for the Department of Justice is under fire for racial comments he made during a meeting about the impact of voter identification laws on elderly and minority voters.
Tanner Said "that also ties into the racial aspect because our society is such that minorities don't become elderly the way white people do. They die first."
This sparked outrage from people who are calling for Tanner's head, including Barack Obama.
How could Tanner say such a horrible thing?
Well, maybe because it's true. White women live on average 4.5 years longer than black women and white men live 6.3 years longer than black men, according to the Journal of the American Medical Association.
Such is the racial tenor in this country when a public official addressing a serious issue is castigated for accurately representing the facts.

Song of the Week

"Cross My Mind" - Jill Scott
The smooth jazzy sound of a soulful chanteuse
"But it stunk on him though"

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Erin Andrews Eats a Sandwich

I have no good reason to post this picture of Erin Andrews eating a sandwich, except that it sort of looks like something else. Draw your own conclusion. If you want something substantial on Erin check out this interview she did with a blog. But for some reason this douche didn't ask Erin if the famous Iowa boob grab picture is real.

Erin andrews eats a sandwich

I Like Him Even More Now

The more I learn about Tennessee men's basketball coach Bruce Pearl, the more I love him. I've written several times before about his antics but a great article in Sports Illustrated shed even more light into his character.



Two things struck me about this article. First of all, Pearl is Jewish. I guess this is reverse racism, but I like anyone who is Jewish, at least a little more than I would like that same person were he or she not Jewish. And he's actually a practicing Jew who invited his whole team to his daughter's Bat Mitzvah. His name used to be Pearlmutter, but his parents shortened it before he was born.

Pearl was raised in Massachusetts but "when he could have joined the other Jewish kids at Brandeis or Boston University, Pearl chose to attend one of the nation's most famous Jesuit schools. 'One reason I went to Boston College was to break down stereotypes," he says. "I wanted people to find out I was Jewish and go, 'You don't look Jewish. You don't act Jewish.' And then for me to be proud to say, 'I am Jewish!' And then to talk about the Old Testament and have conversations about how the Last Supper was a seder. Jesus was a rabbi! Jesus was a Jew! We're brothers!'"

Interestingly enough Step On Me and Master Bates wanted to join the other Jewish kids and Brandeis and Boston University. I also feel that I have tried not to be a Jewish stereotype, but to be proud of being a Jew.

The article covered the audiotape incident that nearly got Pearl blackballed from coaching but not in depth.

But here's where I find a huge similarity between Pearl and me. He says "Don't pay attention to how I'm delivering the message, pay attention to the message." I feel that way a lot. I'm often misunderstood because I'm blunt and obnoxious but if you listened to what I was saying, instead of how I was saying it, you probably wouldn't hate me as much.

Cheerleader Gets Destroyed by High School Football Team

It's not what you think. This video is safe for work.



A cheerleader at a high school in Auburn, Washington gets run over by the team on their way onto the field.

The NFL is Poop - Week 8

They're Just Good
Can we please dismiss all this talk about how the Chargers were galvanized by the San Diego fires? The Chargers are a really good team that got off to a bad start. They killed the Broncos and Raiders before the fire. The fact that they pounded the Texans is an indication of nothing. The Chargers are awesome, the Texans are bad, they should have beaten them. I am back to my belief that the Chargers could knock off the Colts or Patriots in the playoffs.

LaDanian Tomlinson does a near perfect Heisman pose while carrying the ball against the Texans

Can Someone Please Block This Guy?
Mike Vrabel had 13 tackles, 3 sacks, 3 forced fumbles and a receiving touchdown in the Patriots 52-7 win over the Washington Redskins (more on that later).

Mike Vrabel sacks Jason Campbell for one of his 3 sacks and 3 forced fumbles

You Wanna Crown Em, Then Crown Their Ass
A lot of people are really excited about the New York Giants and their 6 game winning streak. After a sloppy win in London in which they allowed a late touchdown to break the spread, the Giants last 4 wins have come against teams with a combined record of 4-26. And the Jets got their only win against the Dolphins. After a bye week to get over the jet lag from London the Giants will face the Cowboys and Lions who have a combined record of 10-3.

Game of the Week
Green Bay Packers 19 Denver Broncos 13
The last few years I've always fought back against the Brett Favre propaganda and said frankly, that he's been terrible for about three years now. But this season he has his magic back. After non-descript 60 minutes of regulation (ending with the Broncos costing themselves a chance to win the game by calling a running play on 3rd down), Favre threw a bomb on the first play of OT, perfectly placed into the hands of Greg Jennings for an 82-yard touchdown.



Game of the Century
New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts
Every year these two teams play twice, once in the regular season, once in the playoffs, but this one seems even bigger. This time both teams are undefeated and the winner could possibly go through the whole season without a loss. The Patriots are pissed off and running up the score and they are looking like the best team in the history of the NFL. But the Colts haven't lost a game since last Decemeber. And this game is being played in Indianapolis. This should be one for the ages.

Point Spreads Are Just For the Gamblers, Right?
Master Bates is fascinated by the fact that the undefeated Super Bowl Champions, playing at home, are 4 point underdogs. Spreads are often misleading because they are not designed to act as an equalizer between the two teams. Spreads exist to draw an equal amount of action to each side of the game. Because New England has been so dominant this year (they are 8-0 vs. the spread) gamblers (like myself) are riding with them no matter what.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
As disgusted I was by the 52-7 ass-whupping delivered by the Patriots, it's only one game. In the broad scope of a 16 game season, a 52-7 loss has the same impact as a 10-7 loss. The Jets are coming up this week and that should get the Redskins back on the winning track. The Redskins are a slightly above average team, which means if they can beat the teams they are better than, and lose to the teams they are worse than, and split with the team equal to them, they should go 10-6 and make the playoffs.

Cheerleader of the Week
Kylette of the Charger Girls
I'm not sure if she was galvanized to look this good because of the San Diego fires.
Kylette is an Aquarius who enjoys dancing, reading and green chili chicken enchiladas.
Her favorite player is Antonio Gates because he's so dependable.
She can't swim but she can wear a bikini.
She is afraid of the dark so I assume she likes to have sex with the lights on.



Bonus Charger Girl pictures: They girls were obviously galvanized by the fires to bring the city together by dressing up as sexy everythings for Halloween this week.

Kylette as Pokeherhotass

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New England Patriots 52 Dallas Cowboys 7
The Colts could occupy this spot next week

Playboy Halloween Party

Hef with The Girls Next Door, Kendra, Bridget and Holly
Adrian Grenier dressed as I don't know what...a herion addict maybe with Playmate Scarlett Keegan
Kevin Connolly as Gilligan with Playmate Laurie Fetter dressed as a slutty Cleveland Indian
Hef with Nicky and Paris Hilton
Michael Bay, Hiromi Oshima and Mike Tyson

Monday, October 29, 2007

How I Met Your Mother Running Diary

7:58 - You are looking live at the Poop living room where Diesel is lying down in the middle of the room and Mrs. Poop is feeding Chase. For the first time in a long time we're going to watch a show live (not on DVR) and since it's the best show on TV, I thought it deserved a running diary. Probably a lot of this will involve commericials that are 6 months old but I've never seen.

8:00 - Here we go!

8:01 - Barney just used my favorite word "doppelganger," or should I say doppel-banger?

8:02 - Chase has milk in his eye.

8:03 - You can't just pull out at the last second. Exactly the kind of sexual innuendo joke I love about this show.

8:04 - The show's theme song. It's about 10 seconds long and has no lyrics, except ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Shows used to have awesome theme songs, now most shows don't have any, and if they do they usually don't have lyrics. As much as I love "All in the Family" ("Boy the way Glen Miller played") and "The Jeffersons" ("fish don't fry in the kitchen, beans don't burn on the grill") I guess you could get tired of a theme song after a while.

8:07 - It's Harold Lee!

8:07 - Diesel just barked, really loudly.

8:10 - There's no such thing as Kobe lobster. But I kind of wish there were.

8:11 - Crazy Swayze. Thanks for the wine.

8:12 - Mrs. Poop was just telling me about an episode of Oprah in which people like Lily overspend and get deep in debt. I bet Oprah watches this show too and enjoys this angle.

8:17 - In the commercial I just filled up Diesel's water bowl, got Mrs. Poop a drink (she's still feeding Chase) and got myself a handful of orange and black Kissables. Maybe commercials aren't so bad.

8:18 - Ad for "Big Bang Theory" which is actually a pretty good show, and it has a theme song with lyrics ("Neandrathals developed tools, they built a wall, they built a pyramid") and also an ad for "The Amazing Race" which starts Sunday because "Viva Laughlin" was such a disaster.

8:21 - Great walk of shame scene. They really nailed it with those girls.

8:22 - Now Diesel is sitting on Mrs. Poop's feet.

8:26 - I'm in awe of John Cho. What a brilliant actor. He nailed the passive insecurity of Harold Lee but also the smooth, cool confidence of this lawyer. What an actor.



8:29 - I'm definitely going to search pornotube for Lance Hardwood Sex Architect, starring Ted Mosby.

8:30 - While it wasn't classic HIMYM I did enjoy this episode due to the frequent references to porn, and the guest appearance by John Cho.

Billy's Baby

One of the first posts in the history of the Poop (before it was the Poop) was about puggles.
Now Billy has one. Billy got Trey last week as a surprise gift from his mom. Generally I don't condone giving someone a dog as a surprise because it's a lot of work and requires a lot of time and energy but in this case Billy's mom knew he wanted a dog and even consulted Al about it beforehand.
Billy named his little buddy Trey because he has 3 white paws. He originally wanted to name him Windy City Flyer but that got vetoed. Other names like Devin (too deriviative) and Hester (too girly) got nixed as well. Good thing, just in case Devin Hester ends up in some trouble with the law, you don't want the dog to have to live with that kind of shame.
Also Billy thinks the only way Michael will like the dog is if he can say to it "give me the mother fuckin gun, Trey."
At full size Trey probably will be about 30 pounds or one-third the size of Diesel, but we hope to get them to play together sometime.
In the meantime I am trying to impart to Bill all that I learned from my mentor Dog Whisperer. Calm, assertive energy and exercise, discipline then affection.

Billy and Trey
sleepy dog
nice fingernails, Billy
perfect puppy
curious about the camera
so little
fuzzy belly

Chase and Paul Go To White Castle

Chase hates White Castle

For more great Chase pics visit his blog.

Which is Gayer?

Because we had great success with this gimmick the last time we tried (50 votes), I'm bringing back "Which is Gayer?"
This time we focus on diaper bags.

This is the diaper bag Mrs. Poop wanted, and therefore the one we have.



She gave me the option of getting this one was well. My own diaper bag, and it's called a "Diaper Dude."



Now I decided to just go with her diaper bag even though it's pink, because being a father is the exact opposite of being gay and sometimes requires you to carry pink bags or to play "tea party." The diaper dude is gay because it's called a diaper dude and because it shows you cared enough about the diaper bag to go out and get your very own.



Note: I'm using gay here in a politically and socially incorrect form. Please don't take offense. I also don't want to get into the whole "neither, because if you were gay you wouldn't have had sex with a woman and made a baby" debate. You know what I mean, answer the question.

Best Show on TV?

You know how I feel, "How I Met Your Mother" is the best show on TV. But a close second is "The Office." If you had to choose one and give up the other forever (you could never see any episodes of it ever again, not even the old ones), which would show would you keep?

Big Ben Got the Last Laugh

Elephants at the Cincinnati Zoo destroyed pumpkins adorned with pictures of Ben Roethlisberger this week.
The Steelers won the game though, so the jinx of the elephants failed.