Saturday, December 03, 2005

I'm All In

Tonight I'll be playing a 20+ person NL HoldEm event at Kate's friend's house. $50 buy-in, no rebuys. Top 3 cash. Description of my bust out will be posted tomorrow.

Real World Reunion

The Real World: Austin was a pretty decent season. A lot of drinking, a lot of fighting and some hooking up. The Real World: Austin Reunion Special was incredible. Usually, the casts blame everything on MTV and the editing, not this time. These guys fought and bickered for an hour. Here's what Bill Simmons had to say:
My favorite moments included ...

1. Wes and Nehemiah trying to explain the OJ-like altercation with Rachel in the final episode, followed by Rachel giving the first-ever, "You know what, I deserved it, I attacked them first, I was asking for it" defense. Fun show for the whole family.

2. Johanna admitting that she and Wes were finally boyfriend/girlfriend -- after all, how could anyone resist someone who could best be described as a shorter, less charismatic, dumber, more transparent, pre-BALCO version of the Miz? It was only a matter of time.

3. The wildly loathsome Nehemiah starting trouble with Danny at the end of the show, then refusing to back off, followed by Wes screaming, "Come on, Nehemiah, be professional!" Yeah, seriously, Nehemiah. Be professional. Don't you realize this is a reality-TV show?

4. Danny claiming that he hadn't turned into an egomaniac since the show ended, followed by a taped segment when he proposed to his girlfriend in Central Park with cameras on hand. You could practically see the "Maybe MTV will televise our wedding like CBS did with Boston Rob and Amber!" lightbulb flickering over his head. High comedy.

(By the way, Danny is the fourth Real World cast member with a horrible Boston accent, a hair-trigger temper and an IQ of 45, yet they refuse to put the female equivalent on the show -- the gum-snapping, frizzy-haired chick from Saugus who still wears Bourque jerseys and Jordache jeans; dates a guy who's failed the state trooper test four times and now is allegedly making six figures selling real estate; says stuff like, "I'm not nearly as much of a slut as I used to be"; brags about winning two grand at Wonderland once; claims she once made out with Derek Lowe; and flips out if you mistakenly think she's from Revere. Why hasn't that girl been cast on the show yet? Thirteen years and counting and that demo hasn't been tapped once?)

Sayanora Mr. Miyagi

At Pat Morita's funeral his wife greeted guests with "Wax on, wax off," Ralph Macchio spoke and this bizarre picture was on display.
Don't know, never been attacked by tree

Friday, December 02, 2005

Mike Duffy is Gay, or Not Straight

Here is the first paragraph of a profile on 49ers linebacker Derek Smith on the team's website:

Take one look at his long hair casting a shadow on a chiseled, menacing face, mud-streaked muscles and fixed stare of his intense gaze. This is the look of Derek Smith, one of the NFL’s elite linebackers.

Adrianna Got Whacked For This?

Drea De Matteo left The Sopranos for Joey. Bad move.
Joey is being taken off the air temporarily. It will come back in March but on a different night and time.
Starting January 5th, Thursday night on NBC will start with Will & Gayce, then Four Kings (a new show starring Special K), and at 9 will be two great shows that are currently on Tuesday nights, My Name is Earl and The Office.
I should never have ratted out Christophuh
This show sucks
Kate loves Dwight, especially his appearance on Entourage

Sorry Officer, We Were "Lost"

Two cast members of "Lost" were arrested in Hawaii, where the show is filmed.
Within 15 minutes of each other, Cynthia Watros (Libby) and Michelle Rodriguez (Ana Lucia) were both stopped and both failed sobriety tests, and were arrested for driving under the influence.
I wonder if this means they will be written off the show. Lost, like the Sopranos, can very easily take care of problem actors.
I think Shannon wanted to pursue her movie career. Much like Adrianna wanted to further her career.
I hate the Ana Lucia character, but I must say M-Rod looks pretty hot here

Weekly Picks

After a good 6-0 week (which helped Adam and Harley win the week), my record stands at 28-14, which according to Scott is 66.666666666% and according to Harley is pretty good.

COLTS -15.5 titans: This is a tough one. I see Indianapolis having a let down sometime, and Tennessee can put points on the board. But I think something special is happening this year so I will take Indianapolis.

LIONS +2.5 vikings: Speaking of something special, Minnesota is becoming a very interesting team. Everyone is jumping on the Backup QB theory that I first espoused weeks ago. I'll take Minnesota, but I have a very bad feeling that some of the events of this week will fire up Detroit.

BEARS -7.5 packers: Chicago doesn't score enough to cover a spread of more than a touchdown. I think Favre can muster one touchdown, so I'll predict Green Bay to lose 17-10.

DOLPHINS -3.5 bills: Man, the games are tough this week. This is an absolute guess. Miami got a big win last week and Buffalo played a good team close at home. Buffalo has been an awful road team but I could see them losing by a field goal. I hope Miami can win 24-20.

49ERS +2.5 cardinals: There's just something about those birds man. I love Arizona. I can't help it. I don't know why I think they're so good, but they should kill this crappy team. In their last matchup, in Mexico, Arizona won 31-14 and that was after SF scored two quick TDs on returns.

CHIEFS +1.5 bronocs: This is Denver's slip-up game. They don't really have much to lose, they'll still have a one game lead. The desperate team usually wins and right now Kansas City is desperate, and playing pretty good football.

Cavs Fans are Idiots

Cleveland Cavaliers fans can't do math. The scoreboard are their new arena, the Q, has a new feature, the Diff. Between the scores of the two teams is the Diff, the difference between the two scores. This is ridiculous. If you can't figure out how much your team is leading by, then you don't deserve to watch the game.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Why Voting is a Joke

All awards and polls in sports (pro and college are a complete joke). Scott Eyre is a decent middle reliever. He was 2-2 with a 2.62 ERA and 0 saves for the Giants last year. Some jerkoff put him 10th place on his NL MVP (not Cy Young) ballot. This voter should have his privileges revoked. And it's amazing how often this happens. I have seen Hall of Fame votes go to Jim Deshaies, Pete Incaviglia and Mike Jorgensen. Harley never heard of any of these guys. No writer, coach or player should ever be allowed to vote on anything. There should be a panel of like 5 smart guys who are not allowed to befriend athletes who decide everything in sports (MVPs, Rookies of the Year, Heisman Trophies and college football and basketball rankings).

No Longer Rick's Daughter

Christina Aguilera recently married some douche named Jordan Bratman. She is considering using her middle name and his last name, therefore become Maria Bratman.

A dirty whore by any other name is still a dirty whore

A dirty whore by any other name is still a dirty whore

Derek vs. Maxim

Maxim has posted its list of top Stripper anthems.
Compare that to Derek's
Derek went for a little more hip-hop.
And of course his comments are much funnier.

Sobel Must Be Behind This Somehow

A UPennn student is in trouble for taking a picture of two people seemingly fucking and then posting the picture on his website. You can see the picture here and you UPenn geeks can read more about it here.

Stripper Love Triangle

Interesting story developing here in New York. A stripper was murdered and now police are investigating her two boyfriends. One is some punk and another is her high school sweetheart (an aspiring white rapper) from home in Columbus, Ohio. She told her parents she was in a play called Privilege, but she really danced topless at a club called Privelege before moving on to Flashdancers in Times Square. Her parents are obviously stunned that their daughter ended up stripping for money, but I imagine similar stories, minus the brutal murder, happen quite often. Girl leaves small town comes to New York, can't cut it as dancer/singer/actress so she becomes a stripper. One interesting side note for Derek: Her father is the director of the marching band at The Ohio State University.

More Mitzvah Madness

Elizabeth Brooks' bat mitzvah will now be known as "Mitzvahpalooza."
Multimillionaire Long Island defense contractor David H. Brooks booked two floors of the Rainbow Room, hauled in concert-ready equipment, built a stage, installed special carpeting, outfitted the space with Jumbotrons and arranged command performances by everyone from 50 Cent to Tom Petty to Aerosmith.
Aerosmith appeared, reportedly for $2m.
The party cost an estimated $10 million, including the price of corporate jets to ferry the performers to and from.
Also on the bill were The Eagles' Don Henley and Joe Walsh performing with Fleetwood Mac's Stevie Nicks; DJ AM (Nicole Richie's fiance); rap diva Ciara and, sadly perhaps (except that he received an estimated $250,000 for the job), Kenny G.
The 150 kids in attendance seemed more impressed by their $1,000 gift bags, complete with digital cameras and the latest video iPod.
For his estimated $500,000, I hear that 50 Cent performed only four or five songs - and badly - though he did manage to work in the lyric, "Go shorty, it's your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah."

Be The Redhead in the Front Row

This seems legit. Extras are needed for shooting of Rocky VI. They are looking for people to fill the crowd. Filming is in Vegas, for a few days next week. The extras are unpaid but there are raffles for prizes. But I don't think you can scream out "he took my rooooooooooom!"

Manny Being Manny, Man

I know most of you probably heard about this already, but indulge me. Manny Ramirez put his condo on the market. He wants $6.9m for the condo which is located on the top floor of the Ritz-Carlton.

Some interesting things in Manny's crib:
-great view of Greater Boston
-44-by-22-foot living room with giant-screen TV
-dining room with built-in cabinets
-gourmet kitchen (Viking Professional countertop stove and double oven)
-40-by-26-foot master bedroom suite
-six bathrooms and three guest bedrooms
-World Series MVP trophy sitting in the living room
-framed photos of Ramirez, his wife, Juliana, and their two children
-two large boxes of autographed baseballs (game-used)
-two cartons of signed ''Manny" jerseys
-a stack of batting gloves
-a pine-tarred batting helmet
-two bundles of bats near the front entrance,
-large-scale, motorized Mud Warrior 4x4 parked in the dining alcove
-spa-quality elliptical machine
-abstract paintings and fine-art prints
-a towering floor sculpture
-a large oil painting of Manny at the plate
-a 2-foot-tall bobbing-head statue of Pedro Martinez

It's Not About the Money

Interesting development in Major League Baseball. Paul Konerko re-signed with the White Sox for 5 years at $60m, turning down 5 for 65 from the Orioles. Then Brian Giles re-signed with the Padres for 3 years and $30m, reportedly less than the Blue Jays were offering. I guess that's a good sign. Why weren't the Mets interested in Giles? He would have been a great fit for right field.

It's Going to be a Long Season

I did not expect SU to make the NCAA tournament this year, but struggling to beat Manhattan in the Carrier Dome is worse than I expected. SU had a 20 point lead at halftime, and blew it all, until they trailed by 11 with 2:21 remaining. Manhattan outscored SU 54-23 in the first 17 minutes of the second half.
Manhattan scored 61 points in the second half, after scoring 18 in the first.
McNamara shot 5-16 overall but 5-12 from 3-point land, even Scott can tell you that's 41.6%. But according to the article I read (game was not televised) he hit three free throws and two big shots down the stretch to help force OT.

Gangsta Devendorf tied the game to send it into OT

Adam To Buy Nudey Mag

Adam is going to buy his first nudey mag when he picks the new issue of read the articles...on Terrell Owens.
TO says he still considers Donovan a friend. It was on a trip to Arizona to train with Nabb that he met his future ex-wife Felicia Terrell.
TO said its ironic because "she pronounces her last name 'Tuh-RELL,' the way people mispronounce" his name. He prefers TERR-ull.
Owens says he first was taken with Terrell, a model and former pharmaceutical rep, after seeing her picture on the Web site of the Phoenix Suns, when she was on their dance team.
Owens later saw her and another honey at a Phoenix mall, and shy guy that he is, had his buddy chat up the girls.
He also says he does have friends in the NFL and specifically names Takeo Spikes and Carlos Emmons.

Wow, he's sexy!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

More Idiots Sue Over Hot Food

A woman is suing the Pizza Hut in Lehighton, Pa., because the hot poppers she ordered as an appetizer were, well, hot and popped when she bit into them.

Sorana Georgescu-Hassanin claims she may be permanently impaired because the ''excessively hot'' oil in the deep-fried, cheese-stuffed hot pepper severely burned her chin.

Her husband, Hatem Hassanin, is suing for the loss of companionship (blow jobs) and comfort of his wife.

They are suing Pizza Hut for at least $25,000 each.

Where the Money Comes From

Tom Verducci has an interesting article about where the Mets are getting this extra money. It's not just in anticipation of the new network.

Jessica Simpson is Stupid

Even dumber than "is this chicken?"
Even dumber than the five continents are "A, E, I, O & U"
Even dumber than "platamapus"
Jessica Simpson did not sign a prenup.
She made all the money last year, $35m according to the Post.
But when Nick Lachey leaves her ass he gonna leave with half.
California laws are tough on this.
Turnabout is fair play.

Unfortunately for her, these aren't brains
Couldn't decide which boobie pic I liked better, so I posted them both, enjoy!

What a Pisser!

Some crackpot bought a Busch Stadium urinal for $2,174. An official with Leland's, the auction company assisting the Cardinals, said the person who won the urinal identified himself as a urologist who will use it for his office.

Truth and Rumors

Here is a disturbing trend in America:
1% of people believe what they read in the newspaper
25% believe what they see on TV
50% believe the Bible should be taken literally
99% believe everything they read on the Internet

A friend of Kate's was worried that Swiffer WetJet was going to kill her dog. She didn't clean her floors for months until I was able to find her proof that it wasn't true.

Yesterday my mom e-mailed me the story about Tommy Hilfiger going on Oprah and saying he didn't want black people to wear his clothes and then Oprah threw him off the set. This never happened!!!!

This story has been around so long that I heard it when I was still in college. I was told that a class was discussing the issue and a girl suggested a boycott of Tommy Hilfiger clothes. Jason Hart said "I'm going to keep wearing my jacket, it's cold outside." That probably never happened either.
This story is so old that it was first told 25 years ago and the first person hearing it said "who the hell is Oprah Winfrey?"

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Ric Flair Road Rages

Ric Flair faces assault charges stemming from an apparent road rage incident.
This happened on I-485 in Charlotte on the day before Thanksgiving.
The driver said he noticed someone behind him flashing their headlights, so he hit his brakes.
The driver said the car then pulled along side him, police said.
The victim said he immediately recognized the driver as Ric Flair.
The driver told police that Flair got out of his car, walked over to the vehicle, grabbed him by the neck and damaged his car.
Flair then chopped the man ten times across the chest, screaming "whoo!" after each one.
Flair asked the driver if he wanted to take a ride on Space Mountain.
The driver told Flair that Space Mountain was old and broken down.
Flair told the driver that it still had the longest lines in the park.
Flair called the driver an overbearing obnoxious asshole.
Then he bit his own tongue and juiced hardway.

Pandas are So Cute

After months of watching him on the panda cam, finally Tai Shan made his debut to the media.

bitches love me

NFL Calls Holmgren a Liar

The NFL denies telling Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren that officials blew two calls that resulted in touchdowns for the New York Giants on Sunday. Seattle won anyway, so I don't know what all the commotion is about. I actually thought the refs made the right call, especially on the Toomer touchdown.

He Stole the Cheeseburgers Without Cheese

Two Wendy's workers were arrested for planning an inside job to rob the Wendy's they worked at.
Two things make this story interesting:
1) It happened in New Hampshire, home of mentally challenged fast food workers.
2) One of the guy is named Ronald MacDonald.

Great Tailgate Party

Two strippers from the Deja Vu Club were arrested in the parking lot before the Tampa Bay Buccaneers played the Chicago Bears on Sunday. Some undercover cops noticed a bus parked with a strip club's logos and decided to "investigate." They paid $20 to get on the bus and saw strippers giving lap dances and alcohol being served. The cops also observed the strippers performing oral sex, on each other, not on the patrons. I looked at some pictures of the van accompanying the bus (will try to find postable ones) and the stickers on it said "...beautiful girls and 3 ugly ones." Evidently they brought the ugly ones.

I need my eyebrows waxed and plucked
i'm angry

Stop Whining Giants Fans

A very tough loss on Sunday for Giants fans. Poor Jay Feely missed three game-winning field goals. But now the league says two of their touchdowns were incorrect calls by the officials. They were both tough calls though and I think I agree with the assessment that there was a lack of indisputable visual evidence needed to overturn the calls.

Can It Happen?

Can the Colts go undefeated? Here is their remaining schedule:
Week 13 Sun, Dec 4 Tennessee Tickets
Week 14 Sun, Dec 11 at Jacksonville
Week 15 Sun, Dec 18 San Diego
Week 16 Sat, Dec 24 at Seattle
Week 17 Sun, Jan 1 Arizona

If they win their next three games they will have clinched home field advantage all the way through, after 15 games. They will be undefeated in conference so even if they lose the last two Denver can tie, but they have one conference loss. Remember the first game against Miami. If Denver loses a conference game one of the next two weeks than the Colts will have nothing to play for against what could be a desperate San Diego team.
I don't think Dungy will risk injury by playing his stars for the whole game, so San Diego or Seattle or both will end the Colts perfect season.
And those bitchy 1972 Dolphins will be able to have their champagne toast.

Melo Gets Hurt

Anthony sprained his left ankle just 1:09 into the game. He drew a foul while driving to the basket and falling hard to the floor. He gingerly walked to the line and sank both free throws before going to the trainers' room. X-rays were negative and an MRI was to be performed Tuesday.

This is the face Paul makes when Gerry McNamara misses another 3-pointer

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Magic of the Extra Year

The Mets signed Billy Wagner using their secret weapon, the extra year. That's how they got Pedro last year, by being the only team that would give him four, and this year when the Phillies offer 3 with an option, the Mets offered 4 with an option. The deal is 4 years at $40m, with the option for a 5th year at an additional $10m. If they decline the option on the 5th year they owe him $3m, meaning the deal is 4-years, $43m and they essentially get him for $7m in the last year. The Mets needed a closer, who knows what will happen in 2009, but for 2006 this is a great move.

Funny T-shirt

Smaller testicles through chemistry

Deadly Peanuts

Some girl in Canada died after kissing her boyfriend. He had just eaten peanut butter and she had a severe allergy.

John Chaney is a Crazy Old Man

During Temple's game against Miami, some idiots threw popcorn on the floor.
John Chaney grabbed the microphone and started ranting like a lunatic.

"When idiots throw things on the floor, endangering the lives of these young men, that is not Temple's way," Chaney said.

"Stupid is forever. Stupidity doesn't change. If you see someone throwing things, let them know we don't do that here at Temple."

Fans were frightened, remember his threats against John Calipari: I'm going to kick your ass. You remember that. When I see you, I'm going to kick your ass.

The Playmaker Sells Out a Friend

Police found drug paraphanelia in Michael Irvin's car. It's unclear whether it was a crack pipe or a marijuana pipe. Irvin blamed his friend who Irvin says he's trying to help overcome an addiction. ESPN will stand by Irvin despite this blatant lie because he's the only one on the network who can defend T.O. with a straight face. He also screams and yells a lot, which is also good for ratings.

Debate Delgado

Hey Mets fans, what do you think of the Delgado trade?
Here's my thinking: So many players have come to the Mets and done poorly, that we can't assume it's just coincidence. I think that Delgado may be one of those players susceptible to the Mets jinx for several reasons:
1) Shea Stadium is rough on power hitters
2) Mets fans have no patience, and will be more likely to boo him because of his stance (or lack thereof) on God Bless America
3) I don't know if he wants to be here. If he did he could have signed last year. But Carlos told El Nuevo Dia that those issues are in the past.

When El Nuevo Dia asked if he were worried about playing in Flushing, which the newspaper described as a graveyard for Puerto Rican players, citing Roberto Alomar and Carlos Beltran, Delgado said: "Everybody has different personal situations. I am going with a positive attitude and the best spirit to do my work. What happened in the past with whomever is a thing of the past. I am going to play ball, and to play hard all the time. ... We recognize the expectations are big, but one can only do what he can. I want to do my work and take the things little by little as they come. The fans are impassioned for the sport and its players. They're people who know the industry and demand (a lot). They are there to see the game and I am there to produce. I am going to try to do the best possible, regardless of what happens."

So post your comments on the trade.

Asshole Tortures Dog

Some schmuck in Tokyo dyed his dog's fur to make it look like a panda. He rescued the maltese-poodle mix but that doesn't give him the right to make him look ridiculous. I wonder if the dog had to sit under a hair dryer with foil in his fur waiting for it to dry. Columbo was named after the famous American TV detective.

Me rike panda very much

Bad News for Master Bates

According to the New York Post, Former Met Wally Backman, whose off-the-field problems cost him the Arizona managing job just days after he was hired last winter, said he called Minaya recently to ask about the Mets' managerial vacancy at Double-A. "I'd love to come back to the Mets. They were my first organization," Backman said. "But I think Omar indicated that I wasn't going to get the job. That's what I took out of it."

Due to his legal troubles and his lies to cover them up, Wally is likely not coming BACK to the Mets

Wagner Alum Kills Himself

Leo Boyarsky was found hanged in the woods near Young Israel on Woolley Ave. He had been missing for two months and his father was walking and found the body. It seems like a suicide. Leo was treated for depression and had been checked into two different facilities for treatment.
We have been unable to confirm rumors that Leo was deported in the late 1990s after an arrest for marijuana possession. But with my own eyes I did see him up against a police car being searched.

Troo Dooshbag

Crazy Ron Artest is at it again. This time he shaved "Tru Warier" into the back of his hair. Should make it easier to identify him in the police lineup. Tru Warier is the name of his record label. Remember last year, a week before the brawl he asked for time off from the Pacers because he was tired from promoting Allure's album for his label.

In 1994 Sobel had Jimmy the Barber shave In God's Hands into his hair in honor of Anthony Mason