Friday, May 13, 2011

Ok, That's More Like It

When I posted the picture of Pippa Middleton in a purple bra, I expressed disappointment if that was the most scandalous photo of her we could find.

It wasn't. In 2006 she went to Ibiza with William and Kate. They were having some fun on a boat and evidently someone took some pictures.

Pippa and Kate Middleton sunbathing

There are two photos of Pippa with her top off. She might be sunbathing, she might be adjusting her bikini top. Unfortunately, you don't even see much more than a little side boobie action, but this will have to hold us over til better comes along.

They are NSFW so I link to them here:
Picture of Pippa Middleton topless
Picture of Pippa Middleton topless

Chas Bono is an Ingrate

I know Chas Bono has his issues. He was born a woman, became a lesbian and recently went through gender reassignment surgery to become a man.
I don't have a problem with any of that. Here's what I contest: when asked recently to name 5 favorite songs, Bono refused. How could the only child of Sonny and Cher not say "I Got You Babe" is his favorite song.

The greatest love song of all-time and your parents sing it and you won't even admit to liking it. I know Sonny and Cher weren't always understanding about Chas's lifestyle, but come on, even if you hate the song, just be a good kid and say "I Got You Babe."

Btw, if anyone could ever possibly explain why Mrs. Poop loves me, this is it "when I'm sad, you're a clown, and if I get scared, you're always around."

Thursday, May 12, 2011

What Do You Give Me For? Scotty McCreery & Howdy Doody

What do you give me for American Idol contestant Scotty McCreey and Howdy Doody?

I have to get this one in today in case he gets voted off tonight.

Poll Suggested by Mrs. Poop

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Don't Fuck With Mrs. Poop

Recently our home has been terrorized by a groundhog. He is living under our sunporch and tearing up the insulation.

One day Mrs. Poop sent me the following e-mail:

"Just pulled into the driveway and the big fat fucking groundhog was up in that tree near the AC. He was so fat he was bending the tree. He jumped off it so fast as soon as I pulled in. We need to get rid of that mother fucker. He just came out again while I was sitting here and I blasted the horn at him. He's staring at me. Too bad I don't have a gun. I could shoot him right now. With just a tranquilizer dart of course and relocate him."

The next day she e-mailed me this:

She insists she is not the person who ran over our cuddly little pest. Poor groundhog looked like Henry Waxman.

The unfortunate postscript to this story is that there is at least one more of his relatives still inhabiting the space beneath our home. And I think we are going to have to construct a fence, as relying on reckless drivers doesn't seem to be a sound philosophy.

Song of the Week

"Flava in Ya Ear - Remix" - Craig Mack
I can't believe it's been 17 years since this song pretty much put Bad Boy on the map.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Haven't We Given the Native Americans A Lot Better Things to Complain About?

When the Navy SEALs completed their mission and killed Usama bin Laden, the message they sent back home was "Geronimo EKIA."

That meant Geronimo (the codename of the mission), enemy killed in action.

Now some Native American groups are objecting to the nomenclature.

The name Geronimo was picked precisely because that Indian hero was hard to catch and spent years evading the forces out to get him. But Native American groups don't see it that way. They see it has their hero being compared to the second-worst person in the history of the world (following Hitler).

I can sort of understand their upset but they have to understand that the name Geronimo was not chosen because Geronimo was a terrorist, but because he was an enigma, like Bin Laden, hard to find.

I wouldn't have been insulted if the mission had been called Koufax, because Bin Laden was hard to hit.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Paulo's Book Club: "Go The Fuck To Sleep"

"The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
and the creatures who crawl, run and creep.
I know you're not thirsty. That's bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep."

This book is for every parent who tried to put a child to sleep. And we're not talking about babies, we're talking about walking, talking toddlers, who stall, delay and concoct excuses.

Every night 10 minutes after going to bed Chase comes down and asks if he can get a car to bring upstairs to sleep with him. We usually allow that. The second time he comes out is usually to ask what show we're watching. Sometimes he does that in reverse order and asks us not to pause the show when he comes down to get his car, so he can see the show. If he's really tired that will be it. But on other nights he'll come out three or four more times until we threaten to lock the door.

Oh yeah, that reminds me, "I'm thirsty" is another good one. This book looks hysterical and it's not just an internet thing. You can actually buy it on Amazon (using the link above) and a hard copy will ship in October.