Saturday, November 28, 2009

Weekly Picks

I finally got off the schneid last week and though likely nothing will save this season it still feels good to pick a few winners for a change. There are some more games I like this week so we'll try to keep this going.

carolina +3 NEW YORK JETS
I don't see how the Jets can beat anyone right now. I would make this my best bet but I'm never comfortable with underdogs and rarely pick them as my best bet.

new england +1 1/2 NEW ORLEANS
The Patriots win this game. I normally don't believe in all the psycho-babble people regularly resort to when picking games because they have nothing intelligent to say, but with the Patriots I believe Belichick uses that stuff. I think he will use Indianapolis game, and the Saints undefeated record to get his team ready to beat the recently underwhelming Saints.

ST. LOUIS +3 1/2 seattle
The Seahawks are terrible so I figured it was a good time to play the rare home dog.

CINCINNATI -13 1/2 cleveland
Here's a theory I haven't used enough this season: good team coming off a bad loss and bad team coming off a win. Ok, so the Browns didn't win last week but they scored more touchdowns in the first quarter than they had in the previous 423 games (may want to double check that number). Either way, I still like the Bengals this season and if not for some bad lack they at least would have escaped Oakland with a win.

indianapolis -3 1/2 HOUSTON

The Colts aren't getting a lot of respect from oddsmakers. I know they've had a lot of close calls but they are still undefeated and they still have Peyton Manning.

Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 26-29 (25 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (5-6)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (7-7)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-1)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (11-10)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (7-11)

Friday, November 27, 2009

Marv Albert Denies Fighting With 50 Cent's Entourage

Marv Albert said Saturday he was never involved in an altercation with 50 Cent, denying Internet reports of a fight on "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

According to the reports, punches were thrown after members of the rapper's entourage didn't recognize Albert, the longtime sports broadcaster who was appearing as a guest on the show on Wednesday night.

But Albert told The Associated Press he was not even close to the exchange, which he believed was caused when a member of 50 Cent's party was prevented by show security from using a phone in the room that was supposed to belong to Albert.

"I couldn't even tell you what the guy looked like or the security guard looked like," Albert said.

Albert said he even read one account that he was punched by 50 Cent, who was the show's musical guest, but insisted they never crossed paths.

"They embellish. It keeps getting embellished more than anything else," Albert said. "What do you say, it's just wrong."

Albert appeared on the program the night before he called the Lakers' home game against Chicago on TNT. The Los Angeles Times' account of the event, by a writer who was there, describes a scuffle and "a fist or two flying," but never mentions Albert being a part of it.

But the story has changed as it's appeared on blogs in recent days, with Albert saying family and friends are reading accounts that are "completely made up."

"I don't know what tomorrow will bring," Albert added. "It will be Jimmy Kimmel got punched."

Albert said he was told the whole altercation lasted only a few seconds, but it's created a few frustrating days.

"I'm sure this will be funny to me in a couple of days," he said. "It's not funny to me now, obviously."

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving at the Bates'

Much thanks to Mrs. Bates for a delicious Thanksgiving dinner, for 29. Yes 29 people, count them. The only one you can't see is me, I'm under Chase.

All Master Bates did was carve the turkey.

pay careful attention to the carrot and tomatoes

Happy Thanksgiving

No sappy, cloying, whining ramble like last year just a couple words to wish all the Poopheads a happy day of turkey, football and family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Slapsgiving

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Song of the Week

"Renegade" - Styx
I recently watched an "NFL Films Presents" on how this song became an anthem for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Now they play it when they need the Steelers to rally, and they only save it for when it's really necessary to get a turnover or touchdown.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Look Out World

Cable television operator Cablevision Systems will distribute News Corp's Fox Business Network in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut, Fox said on Thursday.

The business channel, which News Corp started to compete with CNBC, will start appearing on Nov. 19 on channel 106 for Cablevision subscribers and on channel 772 in HD, Fox Business said in a statement.

Fox Business Network will be available to about 3 million Cablevision customers.

Embarrassing Falls

Both Adam Lambert and J.Lo fell during their performances at the American Music Awards. At least J.Lo has some padding on her ass. Good thing Lambert didn't fall on his, it was probably still sore from the night before.

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Worst Coaching of All-Time

A few years ago LSU coach Les Miles (heretofore known as Fewer Miles, since Les Miles is gramatically incorrect) was the darling of the college football world. During an incredible run to the national title Miles made some inceredibly gutsy 4th down calls and seemingly made them all.
His onions became legendary and even got their own nickname, Les-ticles.

But this weekend against Ole Miss Fewer put his balls before his brains and cost his team the game.

We'll start at the end when with a minute and 16 seconds left LSU scored a touchdown to cut Ole Miss's lead to 25-23. They went for two to tie (Miles knew that much) but a fade route into the corner was unsuccessful. But there was a pass interference penalty giving them another chance, this time from the 1. But instead of running it, they tried the same play again, and missed again.

That meant LSU had to try for an onside kick, another decision Miles, thankfully, didn't screw it up. Unfortunately it would be the last thing he did right.

LSU moved the ball to the 32 yard on a long pass and that's when things went wrong. LSU tried to pass 3 times instead of running to set up a manageable field goal. First down incomplete, second down, sack for a loss of 9 followed by an LSU timeout.

"We talked about runs," Miles said. "I felt like the quarterback could manage the situation. That was my mistake."

LSU sacked for a loss of 9

On third down it was a 7 yard loss and with 26 seconds left the clock was running, but LSU didn't use its last timeout until there were 9 seconds left.

"The clock ran down, timeouts were being called verbally and I didn't relate that to the official apparently and that was the mistake," Miles said.

On 4th and 26 from the 42 LSU threw a Hail Mary which was answered, caught at the 6 -- with one second left.

Les Miles should be fired

But LSU didn't have the field goal team ready like they should have been so they tried to spike the ball to stop the clock, but there was only one second, why not run a play and at least try to get a penalty or a throw into the endzone.

The team was going for the end zone on the last pass play, Miles said, and when Jefferson found Toliver in traffic at the 6 with a second left, the team was unprepared. Rather than run the field goal unit on field while there appeared to be confusion with the chain gang, Jordan tried to get the team lined up to spike the ball but never got the play off.

I really think Miles should be fired for this. Even Herm Edwards never mismanaged a game this badly and this obviously. Totally unforgiveable and it should cost him his job.

The Cirtcuitous Route We Sometimes Take to Where We're Supposed to Be

Five years ago Wally Backman got his first job as a major league manager. A few days later he lost that job.

He’s spent the next five years working his way back and is now the manager of the Brooklyn Cyclones.

Most people in New York think that job is just the incubator for him to eventually take over for Jerry Manuel, perhaps even during the season if 2010 starts as badly as 2009 ended.

According to the Daily News, bad blood between Manuel and Backman goes back to 2003 when Backman reportedly told his ex-teammate Ron Gardenhire to kick the White Sox ass so he could take Manuel’s job managing that team.

Backman’s eventual hiring as Mets manager could be held up though as the Wilpons were reportedly very concerned about his personal background in light of the domestic violence issue which cost him the Diamondbacks job.

I think Manuel is a shitty manager and though I don’t really know much about Backman’s style, I can only assume he’d be better than Jerry.

And I know Master Bates would like him a lot better.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Soccer Brute is Kinda Cute

Elizabeth Lambert became the most famous person on the internet for a few days after her aggressive play in a game against BYU.

Now Lambert is telling her side of the story and she actually looks pretty good all made up and with her hair did.

She says she can’t believe she acted that way while subtly saying she was retaliating for an elbow against her --- the video proves her point.

She claims the video was edited to make her look worse, and it got more attention because it involved women --- which is true, because women usually aren’t known for that kind of aggression.

Also, She said she was taken aback at how the incident had been perceived by some as sexy catfighting between two women. She said she was aghast that some men had sent her messages saying, “Hey, we should meet up some time.”

Oops, my bad.

Derek Jeter Has the Best Life

When Derek Jeter is not winning World Series he's out cavorting on beaches with some of the hottest women in the world. This offseason he's with Poop favorite Minka Kelly.

Derek Jeter is so fucking lucky
Minka Kelly is so fuckin hot

Three years ago he was doing the same thing with Jessica Biel.

now Jessica Biel is slumming with Justin Timberlake

Also this offseason Jeter is shooting a Will Ferrell movie in which he wears a wig and plays a homeless guy.

And if that's not enough Jeter for you Sports Illustrated put together a gallery of some of the best Jeter pics.

Jeter probably banged all of them
Jeter and A-Rod, gay together