Friday, November 10, 2006

Your Music Will Live On

My second favorite singer of all-time, Gerald Levert, will soon be singing duets with my favorite singer, Sam Cooke, in heaven. Gerald Levert died suddenly from an apparent heart attack at his home in Cleveland, Ohio at the age of 40. Gerald's father Eddie was in the classic group the O'Jay's. Some of you whiter folks, like Mrs. Poop, may best know Gerald from his turn on "My Super Sweet 16" with his spoiled daughter. I hope some of you will take the time to watch/listen to these clips of some of his greatest hits.

"Casanova" is probably my all-time favorite song of his. Bill and I love this jam, especially because of its well-placed use in "The Wood."

"One Million Times" is one of his newest songs, off his last studio album which was releasedin 2004:

"My Body" is technically by LSG but he's the L and Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill fill out the group:

"My Body - Remix" with a then unknown Missy Elliot:

"Thinkin About It" was one of his best commercial hits, but just average when compared to the rest of his work:

Green-Spiggity on Cloud 9

Green-Spiggity aka Juice might be touching himself today. One of the world's biggest poopheads, he is also a proud Rutgers alum. He is not a johnny-come lately as last year he tried to get me to post about Rutgers basketball.
The game was a really exciting contest and once they buckled down on defense Louisville had no answers. Rice and Leonard are a dominating running back combination.

And yes the offsides call on the field goal attempt was legitimate.

Now Rutgers has to beat West Virginia. If they do they deserve a shot at the TOSU-Michigan winner. If not they might be relegated to the third place bowl bid out of the Big East.

Weekly Picks

I still can't buy a bucket, going 3-4 for the second consecutive week. That drops my season record to 14-15. I'm 6-8 over the past two busy week, which is made worse because Harley and Adam are 5-9 in their games. They are now in 6th place, far back from the leader. Time to start making up ground. The defense of our title

CAROLINA PANTHERS -9.5 tampa bay buccanneers
Carolina is one of the most up and down teams in the NFL. And I've been watching the Bucs (two weeks in a row now) and the fact is, they can't move the ball on offense. The Panthers usually come to play on their home turf.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS -5.5 green bay packers
Minnesota is coming off their second straight embarrassing loss in which they've scored 10 points combined. Whatever happened to Chester Taylor and Brad Johnson the caretaker? Still not sure what to make of the Packers because I'm pretty sure their offense is good enough to move the ball as long as Brett Favre isn't turning it over. But if the Vikings don't win this one, at home, that qualifies as a big time tailspin.

ATLANTA FALCONS -7.5 cleveland browns
Will the real Michael Vick please stand up. One week after I declared that he may very well have figured it all out, he shit the bed against the Lions. Now he's back in Atlanta against the Browns who beat the Jets and played the Chargers close. They are do for a stinker so I'll pick the Falcons.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS -10.5 houston texans
Not sure what to do here but the Texans always play the Jaguars tough. Correction: I bolded the wrong team originally, but I meant to go with the Texans.

ARIZONA CARDINALS +6.5 dallas cowboys
The Cardinals are my new worst team in the league. I still like Tony Romo even though Dallas lost last week. The Cowboys should rebound.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS -4.5 new orleans saints
Not sure how a 2-6 team is giving points to a 6-2 team. I won't even bother to evaluate the squads. I'll just assume that too many people are still picking based on last year so Vegas is begging you to choose the Saints. I'll oblige.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS -3.5 st. louis rams
Tough for me to pick the road team, especially a slumping road team, in a key divisional matchup. But I saw the Seahawks dominate a horrible Raiders team and I still wasn't impressed. Also my Monday Night Rule comes into play here. I'll wince and take the Rams.

NEW YORK GIANTS -2.5 chicago bears
I still believe in the Bears. I hate Rex Grossman but the rest of the team I like.

Jose Does It Again

Only a few weeks after the Jose chant was mocked by the St. Louis Cardinals (see youtube clip below) fans were once again rocking to it. Jose Reyes hit a sayanora (Japanese for walkoff) home run in the bottom of the 10th to give the U.S. All-Stars a win, and a 5-game sweep, of the Japanese All-Stars.
A lot of U.S. servicemen attended the game in the Yahoo! Dome in Fukuoka, Japan.
"It's exciting for me when I hear my name, Jo-se, Jo-se, Jo-se," Reyes said. "It was like I was playing in Shea Stadium."

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Free For Now

Dwight Gooden was released from prison after finishing a sentence for violating his probation by using cocaine.
The 41-year-old Gooden walked out of the Gainesville Correctional Institution about 8:45 a.m. and will not be on probation.
With credit for time served in jail and in a secure drug treatment facility, Gooden's total prison time was about seven months. He had been sentenced to a year and a day.
Last April, Gooden chose to accept prison time instead of an offer of probation. If he had violated probation, he would have faced the prospect of five years in prison.
Gooden was serving three years probation for speeding away from police during a drunken driving traffic stop last year when he failed a drug test and acknowledged to a probation officer that he had used cocaine.

What is Justin Doing to Himself?

What is Justin Doing To My Wife?

Fred Smoot Up To His Old Tricks

Fred Smoot must have confused Antonio Bryant for a stripper as he tried to "charm" the pants off him in Sunday's game. Bryant needs to get a belt or something. Tight coverage is good, loose pants are not. Thankfully Smoot did not have his trusty double-dong with him at the time.

Who Are You?

If the Grateful Dead have the Deadheads, Phish fans are Phisheads and those who like Jimmy Buffett are called Parrotheads, then who are you?
From here on in, all my friends, fans and readers will be known as Poopheads.

Great Headline

Naked Man Arrested For Concealed Weapon.
What was he hiding? And where was he hiding it?

Dress Like Donovan

Donovan McNabb will launch his own line of casual men's clothing under the Reebok label. He hosted a fashion show to introduce his "Super Five" apparel.
"This is very near and dear to me," McNabb said. "I took a lot of pride in the design, the comfort level and the look."
While models strutted down a makeshift runway inside the RBK Concept Store on South Street, McNabb described the clothes they wore with intimate detail. He seemed to know as much about materials and textures as he does cover-2 defenses.
The "Super Five" line ranges from T-shirts and fleeces to knit sweaters and vests. And, sizes go up to 5XL.
"I've always wanted clothing that was casual and comfortable, but had a more refined look and feel," McNabb said.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Congressman Shuler

Heath Shuler ousted incumbent Rep. Charles Taylor.
Taylor made a surprise concession speech on local television, admitting his defeat shortly after 10:30 p.m. At a ballroom in a downtown Asheville hotel, Shuler supporters cheered wildly and chanted, "Heath, Heath, Heath."
Shuler ended up winning with 54% of the vote.
Shuler got elected thanks to his moderate positions on issues such as abortion (which he opposes) and gun rights (which he supports) which pulled enough conservative Democrats and independents to his side to carry him to victory.

Governor Beer Pong

In a referendum on the popularity of the Steelers vs. the Eagles in the state of Pennsylvania, Eagles fan Ed Rendell beat former Steeler Lynn Swann. But at least this gives Swann a chance to devote more time to playing beer pong. I originally thought this picture was a fake until I saw the video on "Inside the NFL." Swann went up to some tailgaters at the Steelers-Eagles preseason game and decided to take one throw. He hit a cup on his first ever throw. He could definitely beat Alison head-to-head.

Last Year on the Poop

I predicted the Colts would win the championship, but the Heat wouldn't. I know nothing.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Song Of the Week

"My Love" - Justin Timberlake
I know this selection will shock some of you because of how much I hate Justin Timberlake aka J.T. aka Gay-T, but I have to give credit where credit is due. I'm glad he is finished bringing sexy back from wherever it went because even though that song sucked this song is absolutely fantastic. I even love this extra beginning verse in the video version. I love the beat, I love his falsetto, I love the rap verse. This song is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic. JT done did it.

TV's Best New Hottie

Of all the hot news hotties on TV this year, the hottest is Lyla Garrity on Friday Night Lights. Played by Minka Kelly, Lyla has stolen our hearts with her southern girl charm, and turned us on with her good girl gone bad sluttiness.

Which Minka do you prefer? Blonde or brunette?

You can see all the clips of Lyla and Tim on Youtube, and if you scan ahead to 3:30 in this clip you will see Lyla's panties.

For some reason Minka is good friends with that douchebag Donald Faison but it's not clear if they are dating, or if they ever were.

Sore Loser

Faith Hill was caught dissing Carrie Underwood's victory at the CMA Awards.

Faith Hill said she was fooling around and didn't know she was on camera. “The idea that I would act disrespectful towards a fellow musician is unimaginable to me. For this to become a focus of attention given the talent gathered is utterly ridiculous. Carrie is a talented and deserving Female Vocalist of The Year.”

The NFL is Poop - Week 9

Damn Turnovers
The Bears undefeated season was once again ruined by the Miami Dolphins. But this time the Bears also have themselves to blame. For the second time in 3 games the Bears sabotaged themselves with 6 turnovers. The first time they somehow survived because the Cardinals were even worse. But there was no such luck this time against the Dolphins. Chicago's defense also didn't play great in this game, allowing Joey Harrington to throw 3 TDs and Ronnie Brown to rush for 157 yards.

Damn Turnovers II
The Packers outgained the Bills 427 to 184. They sacked JP Losman 5 times and held a 10 minute advantage in time of possession. But the Packers lost 24-10 because of turnovers. Brett Favre gave the Bills their first touchdown on a 17-yard INT return by London Fletcher-Baker-Butcher. Buffalo took the lead on a long pass to Lee Evans (they couldn't sustain a drive). On the next drive Favre threw another INT which was returned 76 yards and set up the Bills game clinching touchdown.

A Word About Those Damn Turnovers
The reason why the NFL is so hard to predict is turnovers. Turnovers are the single hardest thing to forecast and they are also the single most important thing in determining who wins and who loses. The biggest upset of the season so far was Miami over Chicago in which Chicago turned it over 6 times. I wonder how many people got knocked out of Survivor pools with that one, or with Pittsburgh losing to Oakland the week before. In that game Ben Roethlisberger was intercepted four times, two of which were returned for TDs. The Steelers lost despite outgaining Oakland 360-98.

Ain't That a Kick in the Head -- Sort of
The Raiders Tyler Brayton knees Jerramy Stevens in the nuts. Stevens was laughing so he must have been wearing a cup.

Who's Laughing Now?
In the matter of a few weeks the Mario Williams over Reggie Bush pick went from "one of the worst ever" to "maybe not so bad." On Sunday Mario Williams had 3 tackles, a sack and one "jump shot" celebration against the Giants. He now has 4.5 sacks this season. On the other hand Reggie Bush rushed 11 times for minus-5 yards. In his last 5 games he has 47 carries for 82 yards. He still is a threat out of the backfield but if he can't run for more than 2.6 yards per carry (his season average) he'll never be an every down back in the NFL. The Marshall Faulk projections may have to be downgraded to Eric Metcalf or Dave Meggett. And the Texans may get the last laugh.

Game of the Week
Colts 27 Patriots 20
For the second straight season the Colts beat New England in Gillette Stadium, in the regular season. Tom Brady played a poor game even though a tipped ball cost him one INT. The Colts didn't play great but they showed enough toughness to win the game. One thing I liked is when New England got within 7 at 27-20, the Colts got a few first downs and drove back into field goal range. Even though Vinatieri missed the kick at least Manning didn't fold. Kicker problems are going to plague New England all season. The Colts technically have a 3 game lead on Denver and the Patriots for home field advantage because they'd have to finish the next 8 games three games worse than one of those teams to lose home field to them.

Game to Watch
Chicago Bears at New York Giants
This one will go a long way to deciding the NFC this season. Right now they are clearly the two best teams in the conference and the winner will have the inside track on home field. Though if the Giants win, they'll be ahead on tiebreaker but have a much tougher upcoming schedule. The Bears played an atrocious game, their worst defensive performance too, against Miami and should be ready to bounce back. But the Giants also had a trap game against the Texans and although they prevailed, they played poorly.

Brief Rant About the Redskins
Thank god for untimed downs. In the last 35 seconds of this game Nick Novak missed a field goal. Mike Vanderjagt had one blocked. Sean Taylor returned the blocked kick 30 yards and got another 15 on a personal foul face mask penalty (probably should have been just 5 yards). Then Nick Novak drilled the game winner. Neither the offense nor defense played particularly well or particularly poorly. Brunell was adequate and he did make a few big plays. Once again the defense did not force any turnovers, giving them 5 takeaways on the year (last in the NFL). The New Orleans Saints forced twice that many and are 29th in the league. Baltimore leads the league with 25 takeaways. Thankfully they are 3rd in fewest turnovers putting them in the middle of the pack as far as margin goes. Unfortunately, I still doubt this team's potential this season. They could be 4-4 or even 5-3 as the games against Minnesota and Tennessee were both winnable. But then again they easily could have lost this one if not for two Dallas problems. First Bill Parcells went for 2 points in the first quarter which is asinine. Second, T.O. dropped a sure touchdown pass that would have made the score 26-12.

Cheerleader of the Week
Erica Weston of the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders
Erica is a full time student who spends her free time catching up on her sleep. Her most prized possession is her dog, Sweet Pea, but the greatest gifts she's ever received are her family and her faith. The hardest part of being a Broncos cheerleader is overcoming the stereotypes. She loves the Colorado weather when it's warm, so we can only wonder how she feels about cheering during snowy games.

Erica's swimsuit calendar shot

Bonus Cheerleader of the Week
Jesse Adams of the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders
Jesse is also a student but she spends her free time working at the local beagle rescue. She has a beagle named Howie, also her most prized possession. She also has 4 other dogs who she evidently doesn't prize as much as Howie. She would like to one day have a career rescuing animals. She likes baking and she certainly sounds and looks perfect. Her favorite book is The Red Tent by Anita Diamant.

Why Two Cheerleaders This Week?
1) Because the Broncos are Pizza Parlor Derek's favorite team. 2) I liked both girls. 3) The Broncos have a really great cheerleader site (and I've seen almost all 32 so far this year). 4) It's interesting the Broncos cheerleader selection committee seems to have focused on abs, as opposed to the TREE-mendous breasts favored by Tennessee Titans. 5) The Broncos also have Kollette Klassen , the hottie who was (still is?) banging Jake Plummer.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Indianapolis Colts 27 New York Giants 20
Have to give the Colts the advantage in this one because they won the first one and the only person in their way would be another Manning. I put the Giants here because I think they will beat the Bears this week in New York. And I don't think Chicago can make it threw the playoffs with Rex Grossman experiencing these all too frequent meltdowns. Pizza Parlor Derek and probably the rest of the free world are hoping this matchup doesn't happen because no one wants to see another childhood photo of Peyton and Eli.

All for Naught

While I enjoyed every minute of the Mets postseason run, I was just hit in the face with a cold harsh reality. While Papa Poop paid for most of my tickets to the games, I handled my own tolls. Today the EZ Pass bill came due. $104.90 in tolls during the month of October. That includes 8 trips over the Whitestone Bridge ($4 each way) and 4 times crossing the GW Bridge into NY ($5 each). That's 4 $13 trips to Shea.

Don't Call It a Comeback

The $2 bill has been here for years, but it's recently gaining in popularity.
In 2005, banks ordered 61 million $2 bills, twice the average ordered in the 90s. But well below the 8.6 billion $1 bills that were requested.

What's behind the increase? Strip clubs. Strip clubs now hand out $2 bills when they give customers their change, and the bills end up in dancers' garters and bartenders' tip jars.
"The entertainers love it because it doubles their tip money," said Angelina Spencer, a former stripper and the current executive director of the Association of Club Executives, an adult nightclub trade group representing some 1,000 members.

Thomas Jefferson is on the $2 bill, Josh Hughes is on the $3 bill

Procreation Vacations

Hotels around the world are luring couples who are trying to have a baby. Resorts are offering on-site sex doctors, romantic advice and exotic food and drink calculated to put lovers in the mood and hasten the pitter-patter of little feet.
Even some obstetricians are promoting the trend. Dr. Jason James of Miami said he often encouraged couples trying to have a baby to sneak away for a few days, and he often sees it work.
"One of the most easy, therapeutic interventions is to recommend a vacation," James said. "I think the effect of stress on our physiology is underestimated."
At the Westin at Our Lucaya Grand Bahama Island, the three-night Procreation Vacation starts at $1,893. Couples lounge on the beach, swim in the pool, sip pumpkin soup and enjoy couple's massages.
Couples are also served an age-old Caribbean fertility concoction three times a day: sea moss, the Caribbean's version of Viagra, mixed with evaporated milk, sugar and spices. It tastes like an almond smoothie.
The Birds and the Bees package at the Five Gables Inn & Spa on Maryland's Chesapeake Bay includes a two-night stay with a couple's massage, oysters (a purported aphrodisiac) and wine, a pair of heart-print boxer shorts and a CD by love crooner Barry White for about $810 a couple.

a key part of the conception process

There is a Procreation Ski Vacation in Jackson Hole, Wyo., where couples can snuggle by a toasty fire, enjoy a candlelight dinner in their room and take a dogsled trip to a hot springs site at the Teton Mountain Lodge.
At the Miraval resort in Tucson, sex experts Dr. Lana Holstein and her husband, Dr. David Taylor, help couples with ovulation schedules and achieving intimacy.
"The damage that working for conception does to the sexual relationship, it's really, really impactful. This business about being so tense about conceiving a child and feeling like the clock is ticking makes people much more scheduled," said Holstein, author of "Your Long, Erotic Weekend." "They lose sight of the sensual."

Britney Finally Dumps That Loser

Britney Spears filed for divorce from Kevin Federline aka K.Fed today. Don't think this was a Reese-Ryan thing, where his success started to overshadow his career. I think she just realized that he is a dirty smelly (but virile loser). She'll now be a single mother with two young kids (one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James), but I think she'll get through it. I just hope she doesn't pull a Jessica Simpson and start sleeping with everyone she can.
According to reports, Britney will not request spousal/child support and she also has a strict prenup which should prevent K.Fed from profiting too much.

We hope this means Britney will return to her former hot self instead of the barefoot in the gas station bathroom trailer park slut she was with him. She recently lost most of her baby weight and showed off her new figure on Letterman, but her hair remains fucked up.

Britney is back

Last Year on the Poop

Jessica Alba enjoys a Knicks game with Turtle.

I love big hoop earrings

The famous Carolina Panthers cheerleader sex story broke. The story that launched the blog and gave it direction.

We were introduced to the puggle.


Delgado Wants to Stay

Carlos Delgado is so happy with the Mets that he doesn't want to leave New York.
Delgado decided against filing a trade demand.
When a veteran is traded during a multiyear contract he can elect to file a trade demand in the year after the trade. If they are not traded they become free agents and have their contracts ripped up, basically. Delgado is guaranteed $30 million over the next two years and is not about to give that up.
"Carlos has notified us today that he is very happy to be here," Mets general manager Omar Minaya said during a telephone conference call. "He enjoys being with the New York Mets and enjoys being in the city and enjoys everything about this organization."
"He wants to be a Met for the rest of his career," Minaya said. "I'm hopeful that at some point in time we will exercise that option. Right now we feel it's not the right time."

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Importance of Sign Police

Just saw Real Sports' piece on ESPN's College Gameday. For the unfamiliar Gameday is a traveling road show which sets up shop from a different campus each week, preferably when that school is hosting a big college football game. Students wake up really early, get drunk, hold signs and hope to get on TV. Gameday co-anchor Lee Corso says the show has sign police to prevent inappropriate signs from being shown on air. Like this one:

For those of you who don't know (and that includes me until a few days ago) a merkin is a "pubic wig for women." Wikipedia goes on to say that "a merkin is a pubic wig, worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia to eliminate lice or to disguise the marks of syphilis. There are many different ways of wearing a "Merkin" although most involve placing the merkin on the vulva or the scrotum."

Now you know.

This one also slipped past the sign police:

I Don't Even Know Jane Skinner

But evidently she was thinking about me during this report on the Fox News Channel.

Shep Smith is not one to talk, he's been down that hole before:

Give It a Rest Old Man

Doddering old fool Joe Paterno, who earlier this season ran off the field with a bad case of the drips, this time had to be carried off the field. He couldn't get out of the way of a player falling out of bounds. He broke his leg and tore two knee ligaments but he had surgery to repair the damage and hopes to coach the next game.

What Does Georgia Derek Look Like?

One of the best parts of doing this blog is meeting people I've never met before. Somehow a guy named Derek who lives in Georgia stumbled across this blog months ago and became an avid reader. I in turn began reading his blog and while I have seen a picture of his dog, I have never seen one of him. Until now. Some silly Youtube movie stars Georgia Derek as Liquid Courage. He makes his first appearance at about 1:50.

Pizza Parlor Derek wants to meet Tiffany Brennaman.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Last Year on The Poop

Last year on the Poop T.O. was still acting like a jerk. A week after getting criticized for wearing a Michael Irvin (not Irving) jersey to the Eagles-Cowboys game, he showed up for the Eagles' next game in a tuxedo.