Saturday, December 02, 2006

Worst Meal Ever

Mrs. Poop and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. The hostess said the wait would be 25-40 minutes so Mrs. Poop went shopping in the mall. So I'm texting and waiting, texting and waiting and I see this couple making out.
When they come up for air I noticed that this couple was DP and Shirael. I talked to them for a little while, heard about DP's illness, and Scat's weakness in Scattegories then my buzzer went off.
So we get our table and we're all the way in the back of the restaurant. So I order a bowl of soup, Mrs. Poop gets these buffalo chicken things, then I see that edemame (the beans we had at Nobu with Juice) is on the menu. So basically before the meal comes I'm already full.
Then a guy I recognize from SU sits at the next table. And his wife was in Mrs. Poop's sorority and she looks about 9 1/2 months pregnant. So we don't know what to do; dodge or say hello. So we dodge until then end of the meal when Mrs. Poop says hello. The pregnant lady pretends not to recognize her, but her husband recognizes me. We chat briefly, wish them well with their baby, and that was that. Sooooooooooooooooooo awkward.

Prepare to be Shocked!

Syracuse will lose to Wichita State.

An Epidemic

More than 600 people have contacted the Onondaga County Health Department to complain of illness contracted after eating at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que.
Officials classified it as an epidemic because it is an "unusually large" number of people reporting the same symptom.
State health officials conducted a number of tests on stool samples (POOP!) of affected customers and on food from the restaurant. Some test results in Friday afternoon have at least preliminarily ruled out bacteria as the cause.
That indicates the cause is likely viral (sounds like an episode of "House"), which means it could be spread through air particles or consuming food that has been exposed to that contaminated air.
Dinosaur closed Thursday for cleaning and will reopen on Monday.
"We're definitely going to open on Monday. And after 20 years in this community, I hope people give us another chance."
Employees spent hours Thursday night discarding hundreds of pounds of prepared foods such as salads, fruit and side dishes, but meats were not discarded because they had not been opened and were not cooked.
Workers also used a disinfectant to sanitize the restaurant areas, including the bar, tables, grills, ventilation system, bathrooms, the kitchen and preparation areas.
Most of the people who reported symptoms to the health department said they ate at the restaurant last weekend - Nov. 24-26.
The symptoms of the illness are primarily vomiting and diarrhea, although a number of people who called with complaints reported abdominal cramps, fever and chills.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Glavine Comes Back

After getting turned down by the Atlanta Braves Tom Glavine has come crawling back to the Mets.
He agreed to a 1 year, $10.5 million contract. Not sure what that means compared to the option they had, because I thought they were supposed to pay him $7.5 million plus $7 million, if they wanted him back.
Glavine has an option for 2008 if he pitches enough innings.
Now the Mets rotation has Pedro (in June), El Duque, Glavine, Maine and Perez. Pelfrey, Humber, etc are also options.
I still would like to see the Mets get Zito but they probably won't be willing to part with $90 million over 6 years to get him.

R.I.P. Flip

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and noted dog lover Ben Roethlisberger (owner of Hercules and Zeus) will buy a new police dog for his hometown of Findlay, Ohio.
Findlay's previous K-9 officer was shot and killed, when he wandered into a neighbor's yard while offduty. I just don't understand how people say "oh my god a dog is on my property, I'll shoot it." When they catch this guy I hope they give him the death penalty, for shooting a police officer.

Flip, gone too soon

Beloved by many in Findlay, Flip was praised for his drug-sniffing abilities, once locating 40 pounds of cocaine in a hidden compartment in a vehicle.

Roethlisberger said, “My dad was trained as a veterinarian and instilled in me a love and respect for animals. This is a good way to combine that passion with a desire to support the police and fire departments.”

Best New Show: As Voted on By Ton's Sister

Back in the early 1990s TON's sister went to Syracuse University and starred in a student film with handsome black man Taye Diggs. The movie was called "Interracial Gang Bangs."
Anyway, Taye Diggs is in a cool new show called "Day Break."
The premise is, Brett Hopper (Diggs) is being framed for murder. Until he can figure out the crime and prove his innocence he is forced to live the same day over and over again.
What I like about the show is, the way the subtle nuances of his day change based on what he did (not getting coffee caused a lady to get hit by a bus) but some things remain the same, such as what hottie Moon Bloodgood says when she wakes up. Although, I think they keep that scene in because they want to have an excuse to show her in her sleeping attire.

Moon Bloodgood, 6 of the 13 letters in her name are Os

The thing I like about Day Break is that it is only a 13 episode season, and there will probably only be 1 season. They realized that a premise like this can't go on indefinitely. It needs a clear end to keep you interested. The problem with 24, and now Lost, is that a good idea was taken too far, and the writers of both shows ran out of good ideas.

If you're not watching Day Break it's not too late too start, and you should definitely give it a chance.

What Happened In There?

ABC has gotten rid of my favorite new show, The Nine. The story about a bank robbery, the ensuing 2-day hostage situation and the effect of it all on the hostages and the robbers was not dramatic enough for today's dumbed down TV audience. 24 gets great ratings because every episode ends with a ridiculous twist and something blowing up.
The Nine gets canceled because it was a story about characters and the mystery was revealed slowly; too slowly according to Mrs. Poop.
Six more episodes were made but never aired and could return at some point, but probably won't. Even if all 13 episodes are eventually released on DVD it's unlikely that we'll ever know what happened in there.


Egan Foote, with an E, on the beginning of Egan and the end of the Foote

The Brit Pack

Britney Spears has formed an unholy alliance with Lindsay Lohan and her Lohan's former archnemesis, Paris Hilton. The three have recently been spotted hanging out and not wearing panties.

The Brit Pack

In these NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!! pictures, you can see Britney's naked vagina, and maybe even her C-section scar (sexy!).

We will not however see Britney in a Paris-esque sex tape (not yet) because those rumors about her and K-Fed turned out to be untrue.

A CEO TON Would Love

Interesting interview with the CEO of Seagate Technology, Bill Watkins, in Fortune Magazine.
In describing his company, which makes hard-drives, Watkins says "let's face it, we're not changing the world. We're building a product that helps people buy more crap - and watch porn."
Watkins spends $1.8 million of his company's money every year on Eco Seagate, flying 200 employees to New Zealand every year to do a modified triathlon.
Watkins is a Texas alum, and the writer of the article, Jeffrey O'Brien went to Syracuse. They discussed the 2003 National Semifinal in which Da Cuse beat UT. Watkins said "I lost so much money on that game."

Thursday, November 30, 2006

A Convenient Truth

Today is November 30th. It is 65 degrees in my hood and the rest of the NY Metro area. Georgia Derek and Brody are basking in 71 degrees.
Why are we enjoying such great weather? Global warming. So I encourage all of you to use aerosol cans, drive fuel-guzzling cars, buy stuff made at pollutant emitting factories and breathe as much carbon dioxide into the air as possible.
Because it's up to us to keep this warm weather going. We have the power!
So I urge you, get out of your chairs, go outside and enjoy the warm weather. Because only fat turds like Al Gore are sitting in their houses, eating ice cream and worrying about the polar ice caps.
Carpe Diem!

Fat Turd

Weekly Picks

I just can't get it together. I went 2-4 last week, dropping me season record to 23-28. I need to start a 33 game winning streak to get to .667. Not gonna happen, but even .500 would be a start. We start with these games:

CINCINNATI BENGALS -3.5 baltimore ravens
Another spread that looks a little too generous to me. But I've gotten burned on a lot of those this season. But I just don't think the Bengals have figured it out yet. I think the Ravens D is good enough to slow down Cincy's offense. Will the Ravens score enough points? I think so.

ST. LOUIS RAMS -6.5 arizona cardinals
Arizona has started playing better since Fitzgerald came back and they almost pulled it off against Minnesota. The Rams were on a 5 game losing streak before beating the 49ers, but not covering the spread. They'll cover this week.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS -7.5 san francisco 49ers
For some reason I am starting to buy into San Francisco. New Orleans defense is not very good. They can score a lot of points but I think the 9ers can keep this one close, within a touchdown.

CLEVELAND BROWNS +3.5 kansas city chiefs
The Chiefs are inconsistent and bad on the road. But I think they are much better than Cleveland and I don't like to take an underdog unless I think they can win. So I'll grudgingly take the Chiefs.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS -13.5 detroit lions
I know the spread is huge, but I can't justify choosing the Lions. They suck, so I'll take the Patriots, even though a post-Bears letdown is quite possible.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS -8.5 tampa bay buccaneers
I thought the Steelers were on to something until they got shut out by Baltimore. I thought the Bucs were a "hang-tough" team until they got pasted by the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. Now I don't know what to do, so I'll just take the better team, in this case, the Steelers.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Hoping For the Double

No school has ever won the NCAA football and men's basketball national championships in the same year. I'm hoping The Ohio State University will become the first, this year. They are one game (probably against USC) from winning in football but basketball will be a lot tougher. Though the Buckeyes are already #1 (in one poll), even without injured superstar center Greg Oden, the tournament is always treacherous. But I did pick up this little ticket on the way out of Vegas so I'm hoping Oden lives up to his billing.

Last Year on the Poop

Two ugly strippers got busted at Raymond James Stadium and Melo hurt his ankle.

Me Too

For Mrs. Poop and others, the USC quarterback to whom this chick is declaring affection, is named John David Booty

Didn't It Suck? It Sucked!

Bill reminded of my favorite Sportscenter commercial when complaining about Mike Mussina's new contract. What's he, like 45?

AI Does the Right Thing

Philadelphia 76ers star Allen Iverson will pay for the funeral of a man who died three years after he was shot for refusing to hand over his Iverson jersey to a group of teens.
Kevin Johnson died after his family chose to remove his life support. He was 22.
The teen robbers stepped to Johnson on June 24, 2003 as he waited for a train. When he refused their demands to give up the jersey, Johnson was shot in the back of the neck by Robert Ferguson, who is now serving a prison sentence for attempted murder.
The shooting initially left Johnson paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Eventually, Johnson ended up on a ventilator. Last week, the ventilator failed, and Johnson suffered irreparable brain damage. The family chose to take him off it.
Johnson's funeral expenses will be covered by Iverson. He will be buried in Iverson’s No. 3 Sixers jersey.
"If they were that serious about that jersey, I would have given them 100 jerseys if they wanted it," Iverson said. "It was just tough, just to see somebody die for something senseless like that, over a jersey, over something material."

Papa Poop is Pissed

Ever since he was a little boy, Papa Poop rode the Cyclone at Astroland amusement park in Coney Island.
Astroland was sold by the Albert family to Thor Equities, and the park will close after next summer.
Thor plans to build a $1.5 billion year-round facility there. The neighborhood could probably use the revitalization but it will be sad to see Astroland go.
The Alberts will continue to operate the landmark Cyclone roller-coaster, which turns 80 next year, under an existing agreement with the city.
Thor's plans include a mix of amusements and attractions, including a new roller coaster and a new hotel to accommodate the anticipated arrival of new tourists.
The site of the amusement park is renowned for another reason. Local legend has it that restaurateur Charles Feltman invented the hot dog there in 1874.


As Seen on CNN

McDonald's is attempting to patent a method and apparatus for making sandwiches.

First you put your garnishes in the apparatus (as yet unnamed, I believe). In this drawing I think we are using tomatoes and bacon.



Once you have added the garnishes, you place the bread on top of the apparatus. While holding the bread, invert the apparatus.



Remove apparatus, fold sandwich, insert into mouth, eat.

Dogg Collared Again

Snoop Dogg can't stay out of trouble. He was arrested again last night on his way home after an appearance on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno."
The charges include possession of a gun, cocaine and marijuana. He also is accused of having a false compartment in a vehicle. The weapons charge is a felony because he'd be a convicted felon in possession of a firearm. He made bail of $60,000 and was released about seven hours after the arrest.

The NFL is Poop - Week 12

Fuckin Michael Vick
A few weeks ago I capitulated and entertained the possibility that Michael Vick had turned the corner and learned how to become a good NFL quarterback. I was right the first time. He will never be a consistent passer and his team will never be a consistent winner. When he tucks and runs like he did against the Saints he's impossible to contain (166 yards rushing) but they still lost the game. Falcons play the Redskins this week so he'll probably pass for four touchdowns.

Da Raiderz
Somehow the Oakland Raiders have managed to cover the spread in 6 of their last 7 games. The 7th was that embarrassment on Monday Night Football against the Seahawks. They actually are a decent team with a pretty good defense. They fired their offensive coordinator this week and could post their third win of the season against Houston.

Fuck You, NFL & Cablevision, Fuck You Both
I don't get the NFL Network. I do not get to watch the Broncos and the Chiefs or the Ravens and the Bengals. Fuck you both!

Game of the Week
Tennessee Titans 24 New York Giants 21
Not to rub it in to all the Giants fans who read this blog, the Master (a season ticket holder) is chief among them, but this was a colossal collapse. Eli Manning was terrible, especially on that last INT. Plaxico Burress gave up on that first interception. And no one on defense could tackle Vince Young. That includes Mathias Kiwanuka who has taken most of the blame. He was clearly worried that had Young thrown the ball, he'd have been flagged 15 yards if he slammed Young to the turf. Understandable considering the ridiculous personal foul penalties that we've seen this season.



Game to Watch
Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants
One of the hottest teams in the league against one of th ecoldest. If the Cowboys win, they pretty much lock up the NFC East and emerge as the NFC team most likely to beat the Bears. And the Giants season would be over. But if the Giants win they regain their footing and actually take over first place in the division (via tiebreaker) with four games left to play.

Cheerleader of the Week
In honor of the Cowboys domination on Thanksgiving Day this week we will pay homage to the originators, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. Before I get to the individual honoree let me just compliment the entire organization. They have the best cheerleader website of any team, and at this point I've seen all of them. The squad picture allows you to mouse over, see a girls name, click on her and see her popup profile. As a group, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are also the best looking squad I've seen.

But I could only pick one, so I passed over Starr Spangler (her parents are assholes) and chose Becca. Becca has eyes that light up a room, and boobs that fill up the room.
She's only 21 but this is her third year on the squad. She has a dog named Milton, bonus points because he is a lab, even though he's chocolate, and her hobby is spending time with him. She loves the OC and fondue from the Melting Pot (Mrs. Poop's favorite restaurant!). At her dream dinner party she would invite Jesus, Brad Pitt and Steven Tyler.






Her favorite Bourjois product is 3D lip gloss. Number 20 is her favorite Bourjois product because of its long wear and shimmering effect.

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are sponsored by several products, their beauty secrets include tanning at PlanetTan.

Honorable Mention
To appease Pizza Parlor Derek's dogged requests, here's a link to some pictures of Crystal, who is no longer with the squad, but still very hot.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
The first win in the Jason Campbell era. Very pleased that both his touchdown drives came when the game was in the balance and the pressure was on. The second was a 66-yarder to Cooley, but it answered a long Panthers drive. The defense had just enough to hold on. This year we can only hope for progress. And I hope Campbell will be the best QB on the field this week against Atlanta.

If The Super Bowl Were Played Today
San Diego Chargers 31 Indianapolis Colts 27
It's my blog and I can do what I want to. The Bears are going to have a hard time avoiding a Grossman blowup in the playoffs and the rest of the NFC stinks, for now.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Shocking Confession

In an exclusive interview with Paul's Poop, Josh admitted that he actually likes stew. He claims his profanity laced anti-stew tirade ("Let's make stew!!!!!") was not driven by a distaste for stew, but by a distaste for Coach and me.

This man loves stew

Last Year on The Poop

November 28, 2005 was a rough day. Wally Backman got turned down for a minor league gig with the Mets and Wagner High School alumnus Leo Boyarsky killed himself.

Motorboat

My favorite scene from "Wedding Crashers":

Love is Blind Archive

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher

Chris Fowler and Jennifer Dempster

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy

David Spade and Heather Locklear

Naveen Andrews and Barbara Hershey

Love is Blind

Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen.




You'll best know Isla as the somewhat hot crazy chick who pretended to be a virgin in "Wedding Crashers." Here's the scene in which she jerks off Vince Vaughn under the table.










And of course, Sacha Baron Cohen is the schmuck who plays Borat.

Song of the Week

In retrospect, this would have been a better song for last week, Adam Sandler's "Thanksgiving Song." Apparently, no one has uploaded to youtube the version of him singing it on Saturday Night Live. So we only have this version, the CD audio with a bunch of stupid pictures. Dy-no-mite, that's right!

Clarification

Just want to make this clear because SCZA erroneously reported that Mark McGwire "wasn't breaking rules when he was playing."
That's only true if we take him at his word that he only used Andro and nothing else. True, Andro was not outlawed by Major League Baseball when it was spotted in his locker in 1998, but steroids were.
Jose Canseco (the Woodward AND Bernstein of the steroids mess) alleges that him and McGwire shot each other in the ass during the Bash Brothers Era of the late 1980s.
I've heard so many people say steroids were not against baseball rules back then...FALSE.
Possession and use of illegal substances (which steroids are) has been outlawed by Major League Baseball for some time, I think since the Pirates cocaine scandal of the early 80s.
But, there was no testing and therefore no punishment. But steroids were against the rules.
And if all McGwire ever did was take Andro, it wouldn't have been so painful for him to talk about the past.

The Pen is Crumbling

The Mets once-mighty pen is falling apart this offseason.
First, Gulliermo Mota got 50 games for the juice.
Then they traded Heath Bell and Royce Ring (no big loss).
Now Chad Bradford is likely to sign a 3-year deal with the Orioles.
Roberto Hernandez and Darren Oliver are likely free agent defections.
That leaves an injured Duaner Sanchez and an unhappy Aaron Heilman to get the ball to Wagner.

Moises Alou is going to need to hit 70 home runs if the Mets don't improve this bullpen.

Bark Busters

In March, a unit of global luxury-goods powerhouse LVMH Mo√ęt Hennessy Louis Vuitton sued a small Las Vegas maker of dog toys, claiming trademark infringement.
The reason? Louis Vuitton Malletier of Paris had a problem with the company, Haute Diggity Dog, putting the name "Chewy Vuiton" on stuffed toys and dog-bed pillows decorated with a pattern reminiscent of Louis Vuitton's logo.



A federal court in Virginia, where Louis Vuitton filed the case, didn't bite. "The fact that the real Vuitton name, marks and dress are strong and recognizable makes it unlikely that a parody -- particularly one involving a pet chew toy and bed -- will be confused with the real product," the judge, James C. Cacheris, wrote in a judgment early this month.
In legal circles, the Louis Vuitton-Haute Diggity Dog case has created a nervous buzz that's putting other luxury brand names on alert. The case was the first in the nation to test the revised U.S. Federal Trademark Dilution Act that went into effect in early October. The change in the statute favors companies trying to protect their trademarks, lowering the bar for proving damage. Instead of showing that a trademark has actually been "diluted" by unapproved use, the company would have to prove only a "likelihood" this has happened.

Ms. Reeder and Victoria Dauernheim, both 53, dreamed up the concept for Haute Diggity Dog in 2003 when they were working in the retail department of Las Vegas's Mandalay Bay resort and casino. Ms. Reeder, a product buyer, noticed the pet industry was beginning to take off. In the fall of 2004, the two dog owners launched their first line of stuffed dog toys, with logos spoofing luxury brands: "Jimmy Chew," "Dog Perignon," "Chewnel #5" and "Sniffany & Co." Ms. Reeder's teenage nephew helps come up with the quirky names. The products, at prices ranging from $10 to $249, are sold in pet stores, animal hospitals and veterinarian offices, as well as online.


When Haute Diggity Dog tried to register the name "Chewy Vuiton" with the U.S. Patent and Trademark office last year, Louis Vuitton filed an objection. Haute Diggity Dog was denied official ownership of the name, but continued selling the dog toys. That's when Louis Vuitton filed its trademark-infringement suit.
Still, Ms. Reeder says the LVMH suit took the company off-guard. After all, Marc Jacobs boutiques -- majority-owned by LVMH -- sold the company's "Bark Jacobs" toys in U.S. stores last holiday season.

Bad Influence

Britney Spears has a rebound relationship after her failed marriage to K-Fed, and it's Paris Hilton. The two have been hanging out, and as you can see from the picture -- I mean hanging out. The bright side is, maybe we'll end up seeing a Britney sex tape after all.


Monday, November 27, 2006

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Let's Go to The Mall

One of the best episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" ended with a great payoff. You can watch the whole episode by following the link from here, or just watch the Robin Sparkles video itself. What are the chances of running into Prime Minister Brian Mulrooney at the mall? That's what I love about this show, even when it's ridiculous it's still clever and funny.

Ask the Concierge

Dear The Concierge,
On the MTV reality show Two-A-Days there was a football player named Dwarn Smith Jr. His father, also Dwarn, goes by the name Pete. Dwarn Jr. is called Repete. Pat Riley has a legal trademark on the term “threepeat” and can demand financial remuneration for any infringement. If Dwarn Jr. were to have a son who became an NFL player and was called threepete, would he be infringing on Riley’s trademark if he marketed himself as Threepete? Would this be different if Threepete were his given name, as opposed to a nickname?

Thanks
Stupid Name
Hoover Alabama


Mr. Name,

Riles & Company, Inc. owns several marks for Three-peat - a couple are still alive.
But I don't see a registered trademark mark for "Threepete" that is live.

If Riley is using it to market goods or services, another's use of the word threepete is not an infringement unless it is used to market similar goods or services and would likely confuse the consumer as to the source of the goods.

The issue of whether one can use his own name in connection with the sale of goods is more of a gray area. The fact that it is a nickname may or may not make it less likely to be able to use it if you are provding a good or service similar to those provided by the trademark owner (I would argue that the person would be less likely to use it). I would say that as long it is not used in a confusing manner it is ok. A reasonable settlement of the case should say the same thing and proscribe how it can be used. One interesting trademark case that I think settled out of court involves the use of the name 'Seymore Butts' - This name was created by Adam Glaser but technically it was the property of a film company that owned the rights to the nickname. Glaser opened his own distribution company and sought to use the name on his own - although this case had contractual issues-Glaser argued that he needed this name to adequately descibe the product and to indicate the source of his product.

The test is whether it is likely to confuse the consumer. I would not advise a client that threepete for tshirts was ok if someone else was using threepeat for tshirts.