Saturday, July 11, 2009

Rampage is Slowly Becoming the Mike Tyson of MMA

Mike Tyson normally doesn't do interviews with women unless he fornicates with them first, and Rampage Jackson seems to be going the same route. First he gave it doggy style to a Japanese reporter, now he gives it standing up to some chick.

Rampage Dry Humps Cagepotato Reporter - Watch more Funny Videos

Was that chick just being polite to get the interview or did she like getting dry humped by Rampage.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Omar Makes a Smart Move

He unloads worthless Ryan Church for Jeff Francoeur, a guy who once had great potential (I even compared him to David Wright) but went wrong somewhere. Hopefully he can figure it out with the Mets. If not, maybe he can at least make a couple strong throws from the outfield.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

The Washington Nationals and Houston Astros completed a game they started in May.
The game was tied 10-10 in the bottom of the 11th inning, with a runner on first.
The Nationals ended up scoring a run to win the game.
The winning pitcher was the guy who finished the top of the 11th, Joel Hanrahan.
Here's where things get curious. Hanrahan was traded last week and is now on the Pirates.

Now here's where my mind goes into hypothetical overdrive:
Let's say for instance, Hanrahan had been traded to the Astros, and just for shits and giggles his new manager put him into this game.
If Hanrahan picked off the runner on first, then gave up a home run, would he rightfully be the winning and losing pitcher in the same game?

One other odd note: this game started in Washington but finished in Houston, since the Astros don't make another trip there and evidently resumption of a suspended game isn't cause to burn an off day.

I Knew Obama Was an Assman

Married to a woman with a nice big booty you knew the President can appreciate a nice ass. So it was no surprise to see him checking out a honey at the G-8 summit. The best part is the look on Sarkozy's face.

President Obama sneaks a peek [corrected] at a girl's ass

Mrs. Obama got a badunkadunk

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Let Them Eat Timbits

Tim Hortons will open its first 13 locations in New York City on Monday.

All sites will be former Dunkin Donuts locations, they will close as Dunkin' Donuts on Friday and reopen as Tim Hortons locations on Monday.

To celebrate the opening, Tim Hortons will give away free coffee at its new Penn Station location starting at 6 a.m.

Chase eating the first of what will likely be many Timbits

The Mets Actually Use the Hit and Run Play

My number one complaint about Willie Randolph was that his only solution to a problem was to “keep battling.”
Much to my dismay, as this season was falling apart due to injuries; Jerry Manuel seemed to be clinging to the same do-nothing philosophy.
But I did notice a minor, but potentially impactful, change to Manuel’s strategy last night.
The Mets don’t hit home runs. They aren’t fast enough to take the extra base, so they need to bring back this arcane play called the hit and run.
In the 4th inning with David Wright on first and Ryan Church up they tried it, the shortstop covered second and Church hit it right in the hole. They ended up getting one more run in that inning, thanks to avoiding a likely double play.
In the 8th inning with the human double play Fernando Tatis up and a runner on first, Manuel sent the runner and Tatis hit what would have been a sure double play.

Needless to say this season is over. But instead of making a panic trade, I’d rather see the Mets adopt a style more conducive to the team they have, rather than the one they hoped they would have had.

Actually, I Was Looking At Your Ass

Serena Williams wears an hysterical shirt ("Are You Looking At My Titles?") during her post-Wimbledon press conference.

Serena Williams' Are you looking at my titles t-shirt

I don't care what anyone says I love Serena Williams and her huge ass.

Serena Williams got a badunkadunk -- don't hurt nobody

Picture found by Billy

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Song of the Week

"Waking Up in Vegas" - Katy Perry

I hate Katy Perry even though this is the second time she's been featured in Song of the Week.
But I defy anyone to listen to this song then try to go 24 hours without singing it to yourself at least once.

Btw, Jems is furious I did a Would You Bang? Katy Perry, calling her a "sexy little tigress."
Yes, that's a quote.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Baseball is Poop - Whoa Oh We're Halfway There Edition

Most teams have played 81 games (some 83) so we'll review some stats and double them and see what happens the rest of the year.

The Magnificent Pooh Holes
Albert Pooh Holes has 31 homers and 82 RBI putting him on pace for roughly 61 homers and 160 RBI (the Cardinals have played 84 games). Amazing considering his already remarkable career but those numbers would blow away his previous career highs of 49 and 137. Other career highs in jeopardy: walks (101), stolen bases (16) and OPS (1.115). He has 66, 10 and 1.199, for the record.

Singles and Strikeouts: The David Wright Story
With 164 strikeouts, 10 HR and a .329 batting average, David Wright would surely have one of the most unusual seasons in major league baseball history. There have been 76 seasons in which a player has struck out 160 times or more, 13 homers in the lowest total for those players and the only total below 15, it was Jose Hernandez in 2003. And only a few players have ever hit above .300 in such a season, none as high as Wright's .329. Quite reasonably, Wright could have baseball's best average, worst power, 160 strikeout season.

Feast or Famine
The Texas Rangers demoted first baseman Chris Davis despite his 15 homers (30 HR pace). Because if Davis continued this way for a full season he would be expected to strike out 228 times, walk 34 times and drive in only 66 runs.

Speaking of Home Runs and Strikeouts
Arizona Diamondbacks third baseman Mark Reynolds is on pace for 48 homers, 124 RBI and 222 strikeouts. That would top his own major league record of 204 set last year.

This Year's Brady Anderson Award Goes To...
Aaron Hill, second baseman for the Toronto Blue Jays. Hill has 20 homers so far, putting him on pace for 40. His previous career high is 17 (in 608 at bats). His other 3 pro seasons he hit roughly 1 home run per 100 at bats.

Aaron Hill's home run trot is getting a lot of use

Stop, Thief
Carl Crawford's 41 stolen bases put him on pace for the best stolen base season in over 20 years. But, any slowdown in the second half and he won't pass Jose Reyes's 78 in 2007.

We Need Another Jewish Cy Young Winner
It's been 29 years since Steve Stone won the AL Cy Young and now Jason Marquis may be on the verge of bringing the trophy back to the tribe. With 11 wins (through 82 Rockies games), Marquis leads the majors in wins, and seems most likely to win 20. His 3.61 ERA puts him way behind Giants 1-2 punch of Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum, but if you adjust for ballpark effect Marquis would warrant more serious consideration.

Jason Marquis is a good hitter too

Monday, July 06, 2009

Happy Birthday Diesel

nice touches
silly dog

I'm So Stupid, Ask my Tattooist

Turns out the idiot girl who got 56 face stars tattooed on her face lied to her dad.

Fearing her father would be mad, the idiot made up a story about being drugged during the procedure and waking up to find 53 extra stars on her pretty little face. Her tattooist claimed she wanted all 56 stars, and looking at his face you just have to believe him.

hello handsome