Friday, June 01, 2007

A-Rod's Mistress

The name of the woman with whom A-Rod is cheating on his wife, is Joslyn Morse.

A-Rod and his mistress

Morse is a stripper from Iowa. She started stripping after high school and has been at it for some time, she is now 30 years old. She works in Scores Las Vegas and also dances at the Spearmint Rhino, Masters, Treasures Gentlemen's Club, Jaguars, Sapphire Gentlemen's Club and Seamless in Vegas.

Morse also appeared in a Playboy Casting Call Magazine. Click here for the NOT SAFE FOR WORK PICTURES.

Apparenly, her and A-Rod have been seen together in several cities the Yankees have played in this year as well as in Las Vegas during the offseason.

stick with your wife man, Cynthia Rodriguez is hotter than this slut

Raining on LeBron's Parade

Despite his amazing performance last night I do have a few slightly negative things to say about LeBron and his team. I didn't want to mention them in the previous post because I wanted it to stand for all eternity as a testament to his greatness.

1) LeBron didn't arrive in one game, he'd been knocking on the door for a few years, but now for the first time he kicked the door in and screamed "I'm here mother fuckers." I don't think anyone will ever question whether he has the marbles to perform in late game clutch situations again.

2) This series is not over. The Pistons have a tendency to coast until their opponent wakes them up, at which point they return to a superior level of play. This is what they did against the Bulls, whom they should have swept.

3) If they beat the Pistons I don't think the Cavs have any chance against the Spurs. And no NBA player can truly be great until he wins a title. That said, if they make it, the Finals are a no-lose for LeBron. If he wins he becomes exalted unimaginably for beating two great teams by himself. If he loses, but plays well, he'll be hailed as a hero and his teammates will be blamed.

4) Despite what the announcers were saying LeBron's game was not the best playoff performance in NBA history. Where it ranks can be argued but it will not be any better than third. Tied for first place is Walt "Clyde" Frazier in the 7th Game of the 1970 NBA Finals when he scored 36 points, had 19 assists and 7 rebounds after Willis Reed got hurt and limped onto the court. On that great game Clyde said, in typical Clyde fashion "he provided the motivation, I provided the devastation." Tied for first is Magic in Game 6 of the 1980 NBA Finals when as a rookie, Magic replaced an injured Kareem and center and scored 42 points while grabbing 15 rebounds. He also had 7 assists. Some other great performances: Jordan's flu game, Jordan's 63 points, Barkley's 44 and 24, plus 25+ point quarters by Isiah Thomas, Reggie Miller and Sleepy Floyd.


The NHL has undertaken an effort to increase star power at its game. Therefore they offered free tickets to celebrities. One celeb who took them up on the offer and attended the Stanley Cup Finals, was Snoop Dogg.
But why was he wearing that ridiculous fake moustache?
Was his PO in the crowd?

Pooping At Work

At home, when I have to poop, I like to luxuriate. I read a magazine. I sit. I enjoy. But at work it's a little different. Normally, I avoid pooping at work at all costs but my recent schedule change has forced me to do more of it.
First of all, I come to work almost right after I eat dinner. Second, the toilets are usually cleaned over night, so usually mine is the first poop the penetrate the unchartered blue waters left behind by the cleaning staff and their 2000 Flushes.
One gentleman I work with saunters off the john with a newspaper under his arm, saying hello to everyone he sees on the way. The men's room is in the corner of the floor, when you walk in that direction you're either using the elevator or the shitcan.
I choose to be less obvious, slipping off discreetly.
But lately, I've been bringing a magazine or a paper with me. Is this a breach of office ettiquette? Is it better to read an internet printout so you can ditch it when you're done and cut you're chances of being spied in half?

Balked Out of Town

Armando Benitez's meltdown against the Mets on Tuesday cost him his job. The San Francisco Giants sent Benitez back to the Florida Marlins.

In 2004, with Florida Benitez pitched 13 1/3 innings against the Mets, was 11 for 11 in save chances and a 0.69 ERA with 4 hits, 0 walks and 12 Ks.

To get Benitez the Marlins traded Randy Messenger, which will surely upset some local strippers.


My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of LeBron James. I wasn't always a believer, but now I believe. I once was blind but now I see.
LeBron James absolutely took over Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals and literally won the game by himself, he literally carried the team on his back, he literally was not human for the entire fourth quarter and overtime.

can I get a witness?

From the time the game was 79-76 Cavs with 7:48 left in the 4th, he scored 29 of Cleveland's 30 points, including their last 25. LeBron made 11 of 14 field goals, while his teammates missed 10 attempts. LeBron did go 5 of 9 from the line including two big misses.

But in the NBA you are judged by what you do when your team absolutely has to have a bucket. And at the end of regulation, in two such situations LeBron split the defense and got two dunks.

In the overtimes the Pistons had no way to play him. They tried trapping him and he broke through for layups. They tried laying off and he shot jumpshots over them. He was as unstoppable as any player has ever been.

Tayshaun Prince couldn't stop him

Look ma, one hand

If you didn't see the game you will probably never understand. And if you did, you'll probably never be able to explain it. Something special happened to LeBron James. He became a man, at least as far as the NBA is concerned. I guess it's a lot to expect from an 18 year old that he should have been playing like this from his rookie season but in his fourth year in the league he has come of age. He's one of the best players in the league and he has the ability to take over in the biggest spots. LeBron is special.

he made it look easy

Maroon 5 on 90210

If any of you are gay enough to actually like Maroon 5 AND Beverly Hills 90210 you will find it interesting to know that under another name (Kara's Flowers) the band played at the Peach Pit or the Peach Pit After Dark. I don't know anything about the band except that the lead singer fucked a lot of hot chicks including Jessica Simpson. And Mrs. Poop showed me a picture of them in People Magazine. Not sure if all the guys are the same from then until now, but the lead singer definitely is. If the others are too, they look much different.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Song of the Week

"Same Girl" - Usher & R. Kelly
Youtube doesn't have a real video for this song yet, maybe they aren't making one, so just play the song, then work in another window while you listen.
I love songs that feature two awesome people that you would never expect to team up.
I love songs that sound like a conversation set to music. R. Kelly is great at these.

UPDATE: The video is out, I've replaced the old one with the official one.


Cleavage: What's Appropriate, What's Not
How to Show Off Breasts Best in the Office, on the Town and Everywhere Else

The weather's getting warmer and necklines are dipping lower -- sometimes, too low.

From the beach to the mall to the office, women seem to be showing off their cleavage more than ever before. Why? According to Elisabeth Squires, author of "Boobs: A Guide to Your Girls," American breasts are getting bigger while shirts are getting smaller.

"We are seeing more cleavage these days for a few reasons. First, the fashion of the day is tight and skinny. At the same time, women are bigger than they were even 15 years ago. Bra fitters tell me that an E cup is the new C cup," Squires said.

"We have to remember that while more women are showing more cleavage, you really have to use your breast power responsibly," Squires said.

What's Appropriate When
What looks sexy for a night out on the town may not be appropriate in the workplace. In fact, Squires said cleavage should never make an appearance in the office.

"It's way too big of a distraction for men and women," she said. "If cleavage isn't in your job description, don't put it in."

But that doesn't mean breasts should stay hidden. According to Squires, the appearance of breasts can help women in the workplace.

"A recent study showed men photos of women in a workplace with large breasts showing cleavage, medium breasts and small breasts. When asked about who looked most professional and personable, the men chose the women with medium-sized breasts," she said.

"You don't have to be flat-chested to be taken seriously," she added. "You just have to be proportionate. For women who are small busted, that may mean a little padding. For well-endowed women, that may mean a minimizer."

Squires suggested that women also keep things respectable at family events, like a kids' soccer game.

"This is not the time to show off your girls," she said. "Your children should not have to compete with your cleavage for attention."

Night is prime time to bring out breasts, but Squires suggested women treat their cleavage as part of their outfit -- not a focal point.

"You can certainly be a bit more daring," she said. "This presumably is adult time, and cleavage is powerful. This is the time to use it. But they should be part of your whole look."

Pregnant women are an exception to the rules. Squires said because pregnancy gives breasts a boost they might not have otherwise, women should show them off.

"During pregnancy you should celebrate your breasts. For some women, that's the only time they have cleavage," she said. "Obviously you don't want to go nuts. But cleavage on a pregnant woman is just different -- live it up a bit."

Squires said women of a certain age can still show off cleavage, as 61-year-old Helen Mirren proved at the Oscars.

"It has to be integrated into your entire look," she said. "If a woman of a certain age squeezes her girls together, she'll get the wrinkled, crepelike look. That's not good. But if you're older and you wear a scoop neck and you have beautiful, what the French call decollete, that's great."

Tips for Every Woman
Squires offered advice all women can heed to make their breasts look better:

Don't be in bra denial. The average woman changes bra sizes at least seven times in her life. Get fitted and accept your number and cup size.

Think outside the bra. A strong back and shoulders -- good carriage -- makes your whole body look better, including your breasts. Don't concentrate so much on your underwiring. Concentrate on the rest of your body.

Be good to your girls. Breasts are unique, and the truth is that men love them all. Be more accepting of your body. Most women think breasts only come in two sizes: too big or too small. It's not true. They're beautiful; be good to them.

Don't Spend Money That Isn't Yours

Sabrina Walker got a $2.5 million check from the state of Minnesota. So she went shopping. She spent $5,500 on jewelry, $3,817 at Best Buy and $2,069 on limousine services. She also bought four cars, two of them after she reported receiving the check.

But she was a shrewd swindler, she also bought a $500,000 certificate of deposit, funded two retirement accounts and bought a $500,000 Treasury bond.

Walker was once paid $84 by the state for serving as a witness in a court case. Her vendor number was one digit different than the hospital that was supposed to received the funds.

She was charged with theft by swindle and concealing the proceeds of a crime.

A Hottie Who Appreciates Attention

Unlike Allison Stokke, Julianne Hough, another 18 year old hottie appreciates the attention her good looks garner for her.

Her and her partner Apolo Anton Ohno won Dancing With the Stars, thanks to a tour de force performance of the cha-cha, to "Push It."

A Savior for the Knicks?

Kobe Bryant wants to be traded, or maybe he doesn't, even he is not sure. But the mere words "I would like to be traded," coming from his mouth constitute the most hopeful thing to happen to Knicks fans in about five years.

So here's my proposal that I think would help the Knicks, but I also think the Lakers would agree to it:

Marbury, Curry, David Lee and a 1st round draft pick or two


Kobe Bryant and Kwame Brown

I think the Lakers would like to dump Brown but his contract expires after this year so maybe they'd like to keep him.

That would leave the Knicks with a huge hole in the middle, but they'd have the best player in the NBA and that would at least sell tickets.

A-Rod Cheats

But not on his wife this time.

He was involved in an unusual incident during Wednesday's game against the Blue Jays. In the 9th inning, after A-Rod got a big hit to extend the lead to 7-5. He was on first when Jorge Posada hit a high popup that should have been the third out. As he got near third baseman Howie Clark who was waiting to catch the ball, A-Rod shouted something. Clark moved out of the way, the ball dropped and the Yankees scored 3 more runs.

A-Rod said he yelled "hah," but Clark said he yelled "mine" and thought it was his teammate John McDonald, so he moved out of the way.

The Blue Jays called the move bush league. Johnny Damon said he didn't think it was allowed, and Joe Torre said "it's not like he said 'I got it.'"

A-Rod said the play happens to him at third base three or four times a week.

McDonald didn't think so and him and A-Rod had to be separated by the umpire.

This isn't the first time A-Rod was involved in a questionable play. Just last week in a hard slide at second base he was overzealous and shot an elbow into the midsection of Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia.

And in his most famous incident, in the playoffs, A-Rod tried to smack the ball out of the hand of Red Sox pitcher Bronson Arroyo.

I don't hate A-Rod, I actually think he's a great player and I enjoy having him to kick around. And I actually admire him for his efforts. The team is playing like shit and he's actually doing well, but he's still trying to do something to shake the Yankees out of it. Although these plays may seem a little cheap, he's not really trying to hurt anyone, so I think it's ok, and in fact should be encouraged.

He Throws Like a Girl But She Loves Him Anyway

Indy 500 winner Dario Franchitti threw out the first pitch at the Astros game Wednesday night. Despite pre-throw counseling from Roy Oswalt he threw like a girl and bounced it to home plate.

But his beautiful wife Ashley Judd loves him anyway.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A-Rod Scores

From the NY Post:

Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez stepped up to the plate with a mysterious, busty blonde in Toronto..

The cozy duo dined with two pals at a pricey steakhouse late Sunday night, then headed to a glitzy strip club before making their way to his hotel, where the pair ducked into an elevator and headed upstairs just after midnight.

Cynthia Rodriguez - A-Rod's wife and mother of their 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Natasha - was nowhere to be seen during the slugger's big night out on the town.

A-Rod started his busy Sunday in The Bronx, where the Yankees dropped a third straight game to the Los Angeles Angels.

The powerhouse third baseman then flew to Toronto, where he checked into the Four Seasons in the city's posh Yorkville section.

After settling in, the 31-year-old A-Rod, the mystery blonde and two men left the Four Seasons in a taxi shortly after 8:30 p.m., and headed to dinner at Harbour Sixty Steakhouse, a ritzy restaurant located about two miles away near the city's harbor and the Rogers Centre, where the Blue Jays play.

Rodriguez, who was wearing his wedding band, was casually dressed in jeans and a white, short-sleeved T-shirt featuring a large fleur-de-lis on its left arm. His tight-bodied, bleach-blonde gal pal was clad in a snug pair of blue jeans, a shiny, light T-shirt and wedge-heeled shoes.

A witness told The Post that Rodriguez and his three companions spent about two hours dining at Harbour Sixty.

Rodriguez and the blonde, and possibly the two other men, then were driven in one of Harbour Sixty's cars two miles to the Brass Rail, a flashy strip club located on Yonge Street.

The witness saw A-Rod and the woman go into the Brass Rail just after 11 p.m.

Home to what one Web site calls, "Toronto's most beautiful all-nude dancers," the Brass Rail is known for its booming sound system, overflowing crowds, overpriced beers and $20 lap dances - a drop in the bucket for Rodriguez, who has a 10-year contract worth $252 million.

Rodriguez and the blonde spent an hour or so at the Brass Rail, the witness said.

When they walked out of there, A-Rod and the woman were alone.

They then got a cab back to the Four Seasons. Their cab pulled up to the hotel minutes after midnight.

A-Rod then strode into the hotel behind her. He rubbed his nose as if to obscure his face to other people as he joined her at the elevator bank.

As the doors to an elevator opened, he and the blonde got in together, the witness said.

The doors then closed, and they disappeared upstairs.

Thousand Dollar Dilemma

Mrs. Poop is locked in a fierce internal battle over whether or not she should buy a $1000 stroller for Baby Poop.

Those of you with children will understand, those of you without, stick with me and you might learn something or you might decide never to have kids.

As with everything you can buy, you can buy something that is ridiculously expensive, mostly because of the brand name it carries. For instance, I buy jeans that cost $30, and I think Tommy Hilfiger is a pretty decent brand. But there is a brand of jeans called 7 For All Mankind, whose jeans run from $150-$200. And people buy them, not because they're made better or because they make your ass look bigger or smaller (whichever look you prefer), but because of the brand name, and because JoJo wears them. I heard her mention them on Punk'd which is the first time I'd ever heard of them. And JoJo is like sooooooooooo awesome.

Anyway, the question is: should we buy a $1000 Bugaboo stroller?

bugaboo frog

Technically, we CAN afford it. The $600 difference between it and any other stroller we might get won't have an appreciable impact on our budget. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Mrs. Poop really wants it. The first time she visited Manhattan she spied a lady pushing a stroller with the familiar 3 circle logo and she shouted "bugaboo, bugaboo, bugaboo." After seeing about 10 more bugaboos, she declared, "everyone in Manhattan has a bugaboo."

It is better than most other strollers, though not by much. It has one bar across, instead of two handles which I desire so I can walk the dog and the baby simultaneously, with one hand on the stroller and on one on the leash.

The bugaboo's special wheels allow it to roll smoothly on rough terrain. So if you like mountain climbing with your baby, the bugaboo is the stroller for you. Mrs. Poop showed me some video that looked like a commercial for an SUV, but instead of driving over rocks and in mud, the guy was pushing a baby stroller.

Pregnant women have perpetrated a scam on their husbands, demanding a "push present" after the baby is born. If I could convince her to let this count as her push present, I'd actually be saving money.

It's a status symbol.

It's only a status symbol. Mrs. Poop would feel like a spoiled brat if she does get it.

This book that Mrs. Poop had heretofore declared as the bible of baby shopping, Baby Bargains, refuses to give the Bugaboo a letter grade, rating it as "Oh, Please," and spending several paragraphs explaining why no one should spend $1000 on a stroller.

There are so many better ways to spend $1000.

It goes against everything I stand for.

People are starving in Africa.

The Law Says It's OK, But Her Daddy Doesn't

The father of hot 18 year old pole vaulter Allison Stokke is pissed about all the attention his daughter is getting.

The Washington Post writes about Stokke:

"The wave of attention has steamrolled Stokke and her family in Newport Beach, Calif. She is recognized -- and stared at -- in coffee shops. She locks her doors and tries not to leave the house alone. Her father, Allan Stokke, comes home from his job as a lawyer and searches the Internet. He reads message boards and tries to pick out potential stalkers.

"We're keeping a watchful eye," Allan Stokke said. "We have to be smart and deal with it the best we can. It's not something that you can just make go away."

"Even if none of it is illegal, it just all feels really demeaning," Allison Stokke said. "I worked so hard for pole vaulting and all this other stuff, and it's almost like that doesn't matter. Nobody sees that. Nobody really sees me."

Trust me, we've seen you. And we hope to see more of you.

I can understand how the attention must be overwhelming but every 18 year old girl wants boys to like her, and now that they do, she can't accept it. Be happy yuo're pretty and stop complaining.

The Wright Investment

According to published reports instead of a standard fee for his endorsement of Vitamin Water, David Wright took a stake in the company, a 0.5% stake. Now that Coke is buying Glaceau, the parent of Vitamin Water for $4.1 billion, if accurate, that means write will get $20.5 million and presumably sign a new endorsement deal.

Britney Blogs

Britney Spears fresh out of rehab addresses an open letter to her fans:

"Dear Fans,
I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.
It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here.
Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.
This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.
I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "bitch."
I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.
I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.
I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want...and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him...or her.
Love, Britney"

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Lost Finale Thoughts

I haven't posted too much about Lost this season because it's annoyed me so much. Basically, I loved the show when it first started. I loved the nuances of the characters. I loved the flashback scenes. I loved seeing how the characters changed, or didn't change from their past, based on their experiences on the island.

Then the show got away from all that. It became about monsters, invisible guys in chairs, supernatural bullshit and it basically went straight down the tubes.

I thought, and still think, that like the writers of 24, the writers of Lost ran out of good ideas so they were filling the shows with bad ones. I also hate that the show poses so many questions, and never answers them, basically antagonizing its viewers. But I get the sense that many of the unanswered questions about the island are unanswered because the writers haven't finished making it up yet.

But Lost rose out of the dungheap with this season finale. I am pissed about two things. First, that they never told us who died, and second, Jack referred to his father in the flash forwards. What's the point of having mysteries if they're going to lie to prevent people from figuring them out? At the beginning of the show, I thought we were being duped into thinking it was a flash forward, but we were actually being duped into thinking it wasn't.

I like the flash forward idea, especially since it was the first time we learned that they do get off the island. And if they ever tinker with that saying it was a dream, or some kind of alternate reality, I'll be furious. By the way, Lost geeks noticed that the name of the funeral parlor was an anagram for flash forward. The Lost geeks are in a furor over who was in the casket. They even took this screen capture of the obituary. Seems like the name is not someone we know right now, so it's either a new character, or a new name for an old character. But like I stated earlier, I don't think the writers know who it is yet either.

Why couldn't they just fuckin tell us who died

Of course you all know that my favorite character on the show is Vincent. A careful dog observer noticed that in the opening scene when they were walking along the beach, Vincent was pulling on Hurley as the waves were washing up to his feet. Even the most accomplished water dogs don't really like waves. Every time the waves came in Vincent tried to pull away from them. I was hoping that someday there would be a flashback episode of Vincent, and Lost dirt sheets said it would come this season, but it never did and probably never will.


I'm so sick of the Ben character. I hope he is off the show for good.

I also hate how inept the Losties are. They fucked up everything. Jin missed the shot. Charlie and Desmond never tied up Mikhail. They screw up everything.

They really made Evangeline Lilly look hot in the flash forward scene.

I'm glad Charlie died. But I really want them to release "You All Everybody" on iTunes.

I hated James Lesure's moustache. He played the doctor who didn't say anything when Jack referred to his dead father. He looked like a black Adam Morrison.

The best moment of the show, maybe in TV history was when Hurley killed the others with his Magical Mystery Van. And then when he shouted into the walkie talkie "I did it, I saved everybody."

Ben warned the Losties that the Others were the good guys. I hope next season doesn't consist of the "bad guys" showing up and torturing them even more. What could they possibly do that would make the Others seem like the good guys?

I hope that the writers of the show, with an end actually in sight (three more years), will figure out for sure where they want to go with the show and begin telling the story more concisely.

I hope that they will begin using the flash forward more liberally and telling us what happens after they leave the island. I would actually prefer the rest of the show to take place in the future in the real world, with flashbacks revealing the secrets of the island, with the last episode showing the rescue.

I fear that people will get so fed up that in the 5th season the ratings will be so poor that ABC will cancel it and since the rest of the season is shot, air those episodes, but never finish the story. And if that happens, they'd never shoot a whole season just to release on DVD.

No Way This is Real

An 11 year old boy claims to have killed a 1,051 pound wild boar, with a pistol. Jamison Stone, who killed his first deer at age 5, was hunting with his father and uncle when he saw a huge freakin boar, and decided to try to kill it. He says it took 8 shots to bring down the massive beast. Coincidentally, that's same amount of shots it used to take Pizza Parlor Derek to nab himself a massive beast at Darwin's back at Syracuse.

Go Sell Crazy Some Place Else

Antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan has given up the peace movement because ego has gotten involved, presumably she doesn't mean hers.
I don't want to poke fun at someone who lost a child but it's clear that Sheehan went crazy, whether it happened before her son died or not I don't know.
Maybe with her permission, maybe without, she became a symbol of something rather than just a grieving mother.
I hope she goes away and can try to get over the loss of her son, who she says "died for nothing."
Three questions I've always had about Sheehan.
1) When she was camped out in front of the President's Ranch demanding a meeting, hadn't she already met with the President?
2) Who financed her while she spent years traveling around protesting? I've heard rumors that it was Michael Moore.
3) If Sheehan was so vehemently anti-war her whole life, how come she didn't pass those values on to her son, who enlisted in a volunteer army?

Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied Chicken

A car jumped a sidewalk and smashed into the front of a fried-chicken restaurant, injuring six people.
The driver and a passenger in the car were hurt when it smashed through the bricks and windows of the Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits fast-food restaurant in Harlem.

That is not what they mean by drive-thru window.

I love Popeye's but Mrs. Poop hates it. There are no Roy Rogers nearby and I don't really like KFC. That severely limits my fried chicken consumption.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Don't Drink and Drive...But If You Must

A liquor store in Atlanta violated a state ordinance by selling cups of ice. Law allows for ice to be sold only by the bag.

At Ben Hill Package Store you can go to the drive-thru (a liquor store with a drive-thru?) and they'll bring you your booze, plus a cup of ice for an extra 15 cents.

Why? “It’s the American way,” said employee Chris Melton. “These cats, they have a hard day at work, they come to the liquor store, buy a cup of ice…most people. I’m not saying all of them. Before they get home, they’re gonna drink and drive. They’re going to do it the American way and have a drink while they’re driving.”

By the way, Connecticut is the only place I've ever heard of (until now), that refers to liquor stores as package stores. Is anyone else familiar with this terminology? Does this really seem like something we should be euphemizing? It's like calling strip clubs, Gentleman's clubs. A complete misnomer.

To The Victor Go The Spoils

Dario Franchitti won the Indianapolis 500, then got to have Indianapolis 500 Champion sex with his wife, Ashley Judd.

Things You Can Get Away With When You Can Kill People With Your Bare Hands

Quinton "Rampage" Jackson UFC champion humping a Japanese TV reporter


Steelers assistant coach Larry Zierlein inadvertantly sent a hard-core porn video to every GM in the NFL and the commissioner, Roger Goodell.
The e-mail was sent to him by Steelers player personnel director Doug Whaley.
This shouldn't be anymore than a really embarrassing situation. But given the NFL's stricter standards of conduct, I could see both these guys getting punished.
Nothing too severe though because porn after all, is legal.
Two reminders though.
1) Don't send porn from your work e-mail.
2) Don't send porn or anything for that matter, until you've reviewed the list of recipients on your e-mail.