Saturday, September 15, 2012

Weekly Picks

Starting the season off with my most common result, 3-2, lose my best bet, 2 points. This week I will go with a couple teams that looked bad last week playing opponents that looked good.

SAN DIEGO -6 1/2 tennessee I really like the Chargers this year to fly under the radar. I know they got a little lucky against the Raiders but I think the Titans stink.

arizona +13 1/2 NEW ENGLAND
I actually like that Kevin Kolb is the starter. I think he is better than John Skelton. Patriots had a blowout last week, could be a closer game this time.

INDIANAPOLIS +3 minnesota
I really like Luck and think he is going to be much better this week. The Vikings looked bad in a win. I am going to try to take more home dogs this year.

PHILADELPHIA -2 1/2 baltimore
If you based this on last week alone, Baltimore should be favored by 10. But this is not last week and Vick is not going to throw 4 more interceptions.

NEW YORK GIANTS -7 tampa bay

This is the classic matchup I'm looking for. A good team coming off a bad loss and a bad team coming off a big win. The 7 points is a little more than I want to give but I still have confidence. And no I am not trying to jinx the Giants into an 0-2 start.

Last Week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 3-2 (2 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (0-1)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (0-1)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (1-1)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (1-0)

The Princess's Tits

An unscrupulous French magazine called "Closer" used a telephoto lens to capture Princess Kate Middleton sunbathing topless on the balcony of a huge estate in France where she was staying with Prince William.

While I feel badly that her privacy was invaded I also know you rely on me to find and deliver these pictures. So here they are.

Picture of Princess Kate Middleton topless 1
Picture of Princess Kate Middleton topless 2

I really don't think this should be such a big deal, because the pictures are so grainy, her tits look great, her body looks nice and she has nothing to be ashamed of. And no one ever got hurt from looking at a couple of breasts. But this is the world we live in, so this will be the biggest scandal ever for the next couple days until it dies down. And knowing how ruthless the paparazzi can be I think poor Kate has to give up nude sunbathing forever.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Fat Mike Francesa Falls Asleep

Few people I hate more than Fat Mike Francesa, though I do enjoy his show in small doses. But my favorite part is when he gets embarrassed. Usually it's when he doesn't know something, and tries to play it off like he does. But this time he literally fell asleep on the air while Sweeny Murti was talking. You can tell he is asleep because he stops rubbing his arm, and his head slowly falls farther away from the mic. And all of the sudden he snaps his head up, looks toward his producer and then talks to him on the talkback microphone.

What I Should Have Said Theater

Here are the first two paragraphs of President Obama’s statement on the attack in Libya:

I strongly condemn the outrageous attack on our diplomatic facility in Benghazi, which took the lives of four Americans, including Ambassador Chris Stevens. Right now, the American people have the families of those we lost in our thoughts and prayers. They exemplified America's commitment to freedom, justice, and partnership with nations and people around the globe, and stand in stark contrast to those who callously took their lives.

I have directed my Administration to provide all necessary resources to support the security of our personnel in Libya, and to increase security at our diplomatic posts around the globe. While the United States rejects efforts to denigrate the religious beliefs of others, we must all unequivocally oppose the kind of senseless violence that took the lives of these public servants.

The first part is fine. Here is what he should have said instead of the last sentence he did use:
The United States will always stand up for freedom, especially freedom of speech for Americans. A movie is not sufficient provocation to attack a consulate and kill four people. Mitt Romney and his fellow Mormons aren’t burning down the theater for “Book of Mormon.” No one killed Bill Maher after “Religulous.” There were mild, non-violent protests over the ABC show “Good Christian Bitches.” We must all unequivocally oppose the kind of senseless violence that took the lives of these public servants.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Song of the Week

"We Are Never Getting Back Together" - Taylor Swift
Not sure which one of her famous boyfriends (not sure America's sweetheart should get around this much) this song is about, but I kind of like it.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The NFL is Poop - Week 1

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
This is the first time I've ever started an NFL is Poop with the rant about the Redskins. But there is good reason. I think we have the franchise QB I have been pining for since a drug-addled Lawrence Taylor broke Joe Theismann's leg. Robert Griffin III played an unbelievable game, clearly outplaying Brees. He ran only when necessary and when he passed he was spot on.
The pass to Garçon for the first touchdown was almost right on target (a little high) to hit Garçon in stride and lead him away from defenders. Maybe his best play of the game was the first one of the second quarter. He scrambled, threw to Fred Davis right on the sideline for a 26-yard gain to set up the second touchdown.
The offensive and defensive game plans got a little too conservative, allowing the Saints to get back in the game. But the schedule is pretty easy coming up (@ Rams, Bengals, @ExpensiveCornPrices) and if Griffin continues to play this well, this could turn out to be a better season than I thought. And if not this year, maybe next, or further down the road, but eventually this guy is going to develop into a great quarterback. And I don't think I'm getting ahead of myself.

Maybe Jets Fans Overreacted to the Preseason
The New York Jets just ended the most scrutinized preseason ever. And if you believe the experts, and the over-dramatic fans, you would have thought the Jets would never score a point, let alone win a game. They scored 1 touchdown in the preseason, 6 in Week 1 (4 by the offense). There is still reason to doubt Mark Sanchez, I am sure he will throw some dumb interceptions, but Tim Tebow is not going to be the reason why. And speaking of Tebow, he was in on a handful of snaps, but contributed nothing meaningful. Even though he can't be a QB, he does have value, and when the Jets figure out how to use him their offense will be even better.
But I should also caution against overreacting to Week 1.

Rookie Quarterbacks
For the first time in history 5 rookie quarterbacks started on Opening Day. Robert Griffin III was great. Andrew Luck was bad (3 INTs) but I still believe in his long-term potential. I have no confidence in Ryan Tannehill, he seems like a classic reach, especially because his old college coach probably begged for him. Brandon Weeden sucked, he may be in over his head. But he doesn't have the luxury of time, because if the Browns let him start the season on the bench, he'd be 30 by the time he got in the game. Russell Wilson is more of an enigma. I know people like his intangibles, but I like tangibles a lot more. I suspect Colt McCoy and Matt Flynn will be starting by Week 9.

Who's The Manning?
I'm pretty sure I heard something in the offseason about Peyton Manning having been injured. ESPN didn't cover it much but I'm sure it's true. He didn't look rusty at all in leading the Broncos to a win over the Steelers. Manning his getting old, and his day will come, but not right now.
Poor Steelers, their last two games, both losses, both to the Broncos to the two most disparate QBs in NFL history.

Replacement Refs
The replacement referees did just fine in Week 1. There were a few blown calls but nothing affecting the outcome of a game. And just remember, the regular officials screw up sometimes too.
There were no incidents of violence, of games getting out of control. I thought player safety was a specious argument in this case anyway. We were supposed to believe that a player would try to take advantage of inexperienced referees and deliver an illegal blow? First of all that's assuming the players are their own worst enemies. And it also ignores the fact that the league office is still reviewing those plays and has the ability to levy fines for those offenses. I think the NFL referees will come to their senses and be unwilling to risk their jobs. I predict the strike will end before Week 3.

Picture of the Week
Detroit Lions offensive lineman Jeff Backus stretches his pants so much that they become see through. Thankfully, there is a center panel sewn in there.

Game of The Week
Minnesota 26 Jacksonville 23

This could be the last time I mention these teams in this column this season. But a couple interesting things here. First of all, Maurice Jones-Drew ended his holdout, Adrian Peterson came back from injury, which was nice. Also this was the first regular season game with the new overtime rules. And the new system worked out fairly well, with the Jaguars getting a chance in OT after the Vikings kicked only a field goal on their possession. I think this is a more fair overtime system which should produce some more exciting games in the future.

Game of Next Week
Denver Broncos at Atlanta Falcons

Peyton Manning looks back. Julio Jones looks awesome. This game could be a real shootout.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
San Francisco 49ers 24 Baltimore Ravens 20

This would play well in the Harbaugh household. Both defenses looked good. Both quarterbacks looked good. I think the Harbaugh Bowl is a real possibility.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Is He Better Off Than He Was Four Years Ago?

On September 27, 2008, Ryan Reynolds married Scarlett Johansson.

On September 9, 2012, Ryan Reynolds married Blake Lively.