Friday, April 09, 2010

David Wright's New Personal Trainer

To rebound from his 10 homer 140 strikeout performance, David Wright is working out with a new fitness guru.

David Wright and The Situation, classic. Seems a little gay too me though ("harder, David, harder") but maybe that's what Vitamin Water was going for.

Story Suggested by Juice

My Best Days Are Over...And They Weren't Even That Good

In a landmark episode of "Boy Meets World" (landmark because it signaled Topanga's emergence as a hot chick from a creepy weirdo) Cory Matthews describes the "haircut cycle of shame."
"You look terrible for six weeks, then you look good for like a day, and that's how you know it's time for a new haircut."
I spent the first 21 years of my life (or thereabouts) as an awkward, gangling, four-eyed geek.
Now I am fat and increasingly bald. Or bald and increasingly fat.

my blad head

Somewhere in the middle I got contacts, went to the gym and looked good for about five minutes.
I wish I had known it was going to be so fleeting. I would have taken more pictures.
In fact I can’t even find a good old picture of myself to use with his post.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Don't Be Fooled

Don’t be fooled by the Mets stirring comeback from a 6-1 deficit to tie the game against the Marlins.

1) They lost. The Mets have the amazing ability to do just enough to lose.

2) John Maine sucks. I’m not sure his career is even salvageable anymore. This is the big problem with guys who don’t strike people out. They can’t get out of innings. Games always get out of control with him because he can’t strike anybody out. Hits and runs seem to come in bunches against him.

3) They still can’t get a clutch hit. The Mets got their six runs on 2 walks, 2 sacrifice flies, a groundout and a balk. And they could have gotten on more on a wild pitch if the Marlins hadn’t made a perfect play, though I don’t think Tatis should have been running. In the 7th, 8th and 9th innings the Mets combined to go 0 for 5 with runners in scoring position. That includes Francoeuer, Bay, Barajas, Cora and Matthews. And if you notice none of those guys have been with the team for more than one year. So no matter who the Mets get, no matter their past history, they will come to Mets and suck, especially in crucial late game situations.

I Think I Ruined Chase's Chances with Sarah

Chase seems to have a little girlfriend at school, Sarah. The first time Mrs. Poop met Sarah's mom she told her Sarah never stops talking about Chase. Since then I think their love affair has grown (especially since the rest of the boys in their class are pussies who constantly cry for their mommies).
I've had to pick Chase up a couple times and I noticed Sarah's mom was checking me out. The first time I thought maybe it was an accident but the second time she was really staring.
I came home and told Mrs. Poop that I thought she was trying to get a glimpse of what Chase would be in 30 years. That was troublesome considering in a pouring rainstorm I was wearing a t-shirt (no jacket), sweatpants and socks with sandals.
But she must have liked what she saw because this week she told Mrs. Poop that Sarah frequently expresses her desire to someday marry Chase.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Quick Questions

Song of the Week

"Window Seat" - Erykah Badu
The most controversial song in America right now.

I'm totally against cheap gimmicks like this. I love Erykah Badu, and I even like the song but I don't want to hear about art, or sending a message, she did this just to get attention. She purposely didn't seek the proper permits to shoot a music video at the JFK assassination site, basically trying to get arrested.
Two major issues here: nudity in a public place and that public place being where President Kennedy was assassiniated.
First of all, no one should be naked in a public place, it's against the law. Although I don't think seeing a naked lady is going to do permanent damage to a young child I think it's totally inappropriate.
But damn she got a badunkadunk. And I love that she'll totally take off her bra and panties in a big crowd but won't remove her headwrap.
I really don't care about this being done at the Dealey Plaza. I can actually see that being a message, especially in the context of the video (her mock assassination and the words "they are quick to assassinate what they don't understand") but I can see why some people would consider it disrespectful, once again seeing it as a shameless attention grab.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Should I Pre-Order My Jersey Now?

The Redskins finally have a quarterback I can root for. Not since Heath Shuler have I been this excited about a Redskins QB. They gave up only a 2nd round pick this year and a conditional 3rd or 4th next year.

Normally I would be against a bad team acquiring an old quarterback but McNabb only has 1 year left on his contract (at $11.2m) and there is no cap and likely no season the following year so the commitment to him is minimal. That said, I hope they don't sign him to a big extension, which I don't think they will because of the labor uncertainty beyond this year.

It brings up an old question: if your team is not good enough to win the Super Bowl (World Series, NBA title) should you still look to acquire talent to get better now? Is it worth the price to get McNabb to make us into an 8-8 team? Normally I would say no, but for Donovan I am willing to make an exception. Would you rather lose with guys you like than with guys you hate?

My only worry is that Donovan will get killed behind a very weak offensive line. I also wonder what the Redskins will do now with the 4th pick in the draft. There are three top players (Bradford, Suh and McCoy) putting the Skins in a tough position. I think they may draft Jimmy Claussen and let him learn behind Donovan for a year.

If ever a team deserved to be cursed by a certain player it would be the Eagles after their fans’ horrible treatment of McNabb. They booed him the minute he was drafted and spent the next 12 years trying to convince themselves he sucked so they would be right. I hope they never win another game. At the very least if the Redskins go 2-14 this year I hope they win the two against the Eagles.

got this e-mail from the Redskins today

Idol Chatter

Two big reasons this will be the last good season of American Idol: the talent pool is thin and getting thinner, and Simon is leaving.

Even though I don’t think the talent is as bad as most people say (there are always good people and always bad people) the perception is out there, and with some of the horror shows still left I know why people are thinking that way.

As for Simon, I still cannot stand his inside jokes (leaning on Kara, bickering with Ryan) and insist they aren’t funny to anyone else but him. But I do admit he makes the show in the earlier audition rounds. You can’t have some guy squeal and screech his way through “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and have four judges look at him and say “oh sorry honey.” You need an obnoxious jerk. I’m sure they’ll get someone to fill that role, but I’m sure that someone won’t be as good as Simon at it.

What I would like to see next year is basically getting rid of the judges once we get to Top 12. Face it, they never have anything constructive to say. When someone sings a song too close the original they say “take risks” or “make it your own.” When they change it up the judges say “you didn’t need to do that.” And half the time they are not making sense, like when Kara’s lips are moving.

Of all the weeks I should have loved this one, I mean R&B/Soul with Usher as the mentor, that’s a recipe for Poop happiness, but I was underwhelmed for several reasons.

First of all Usher’s performance on results night was kind of weird and I didn’t even love Ruben Studdard.

Also, the choices of songs were a little off “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted” is a great song but not when sung by a whiny narrow-assed white girl. I still have no idea why Didi was crying. Why was this song so personal to her? And why bring it up then not explain. I have never been happier to see the most attractive female contestant get the boot. I don’t even think she’s that hot, I think it was a version of press-box hot because the other girls are Crystal and Siobhan.

Tim Urban on Anita Baker’s “Sweet Love?” Aaron Kelly on “Ain’t No Sunshine?” Katie Stevens singing “Chain of Fools?” Totally did not fit.

And as much I love Mike Lynche and India.Arie I didn’t think “Ready for Love” was the right song for American Idol. You should pick songs people know and usually up-tempo songs to get the crowd involved. A great song to listen to, but not a great song to sing in front of thousands of people.

He should have taken a hint from Casey James who picked a perfect song in Sam and Dave’s “Hold On, I’m Coming.”

My second favorite moment of the night was when Chase yelled out “I have to pee” and took off for the bathroom and I yelled back “Hold On, I’m Coming.”

My favorite moment though was Crystal Bowersox’s performance of “Midnight Train to Georgia.” I honestly think it was the best performance at this stage of the competition in the history of American Idol. I love that she did it a little differently than Gladys, I love that she had her version of the Pips and I love that she looked like a normal person for once. I really thought it was awesome and I really wouldn’t have a problem if any of the trio of Crystal, Lee and Mike won the whole thing, just so long as it’s not that weirdo Siobhan.

My least favorite moment was when they showed Justin Bieber in the audience. I had been taking great pains to avoid ever seeing him or hearing his songs. Until that moment I had never seen him, thankfully I've still never heard him.

I wish I could say the same about Puffy Daddy, I mean P.Diddy, I mean Diddy, I mean Diddy Dirty Money, what the fuck is that? I have always said that guy sucked, and now everyone has to agree.