Saturday, April 17, 2010

I Just Watched a 7-Hour, 20-Inning Baseball Game

David Wright and Jason Bay are horrible. Bay to me represents everything I hate about the Mets. They get pressured by talk radio and the newspapers to sign mediocre free agents and they always come here and suck.

Francisco Rodriguez is another example. Two years and two blown saves in two of the most agonizing ways possible.

Jose Reyes's thyroid problem was definitely caused by HGH use and now that he is being regulated he sucks.

Seriously, why is it so hard to score against the other team's infielders?

Boy did LaRussa botch this game. Twice he let a pitcher hit while he still had a bench player. Then he let Ludwick run (presumably) with Pooh Holes up. They might have been able to win the game in the bottom of the 19th.

Wright, Bay and Francouer combined to go 1 for 20. Frenchy's average fell from .457 to .381 in this game.

This is the fourth longest game in Mets history and the longest one of my lifetime.

Manuel a little more desperate, bringing in Pelfrey. Why couldn't sucK-Rod pitch two innings?

On the bright side, the Mets won. The win isn't as important as avoiding a horrible loss.

And Mets pitchers gave up only 5 runs in the last 37 innings.

The Bane of Mrs. Poop's Existence

The worst part of living in Bergen County is obeying the archaic rules forbidding stores from being open on Sundays.
Now Governor Christie is looking to repeal those laws as a way to generate millions in new sales taxes. I actually think this could work because a lot of people from Manhattan do come to this part of Jersey for shopping.
The old grumps in favor of keeping the "blue laws" enjoy the peacefulness of Sundays without the traffic we see on Saturdays.
But I contend there wouldn't be as much congestion on Saturdays or Sundays if people could shop on both days.
Also, people with strange schedules like us need the extra flexibility.

"The blue laws have been in effect in Bergen County since the 1950s to give our citizens ... one day of rest from the traffic jams, noise pollution and accidents that are a nightmare on Saturday and long weekends," according to Bergen County Executive Dennis McNerney.

The last attempt to overturn the blue laws came about 10 years ago and was defeated by quite a wide margin but I don't think anyone under the age of 70 would vote against it this time around.

The law bars retail shopping on Sundays, except for necessities like gasoline and food. Consumers can't buy clothes or electronics on Sunday, but they can get a case of beer or lunch at a diner.

Friday, April 16, 2010

A Silver Medal And Her

Team USA hockey goalie Ryan Miller played great during the Olympics but still feels the sting of allowing the game-winning goal to Sidney Crosby in overtime of the gold medal game.
But maybe a romp in the sack with his girlfriend, Indian-American actress Noureen DeWulf will make him feel better.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Did Keith Hernandez Get Scolded by SNY?

Recently I was speaking to a Red Sox fan about their awful announce team of Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy. He said Remy was reprimanded for making too many mentions of his outside business interests during broadcasts.

I think a similar thing may have happened to Keith Hernandez.

On Tuesday Gary Cohen said he was surprised to see Keith eating a Shake Shack burger during Sunday's game.

"I forgot my uh my diet," Keith replied.

Gary told him "its ok, you can say it."

So Keith said "I left my NutriSystem lunch at home.

But it seemed like he was reluctant to mention the brand name.

My suspicion was confirmed Wednesday. After they showed a shot of Jason Giambi in the Rockies dugout Gary Cohen commented on his gray beard. Keith said "I don't want to get into details but there's a commercial about that."

It seemed an obvious reference to the Just For Men campaign ("your beard is weird") he does with Clyde Frazier.

I don't know about the rest of you but I enjoy hearing about Keith's outside interest including his dog Duncan, his front lawn and the time the JFM folks called him to tell him his mustache was getting too gray.

Keith also made a TV faux pas, speaking while he didn't realize they were back from commercial:

I just had to sit there and just stare at her.

Thanks for the tip Juice

The Asian-American and Pacific Islander Communities Thank Him for His Efforts on Their Behalf

Kal Penn went from the White Castle to the White House, abruptly being written off House when he accepted a position as Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Engagement. Officially he was a liason to the Asian-American and Pacific Islander communities.
That heady work was not enough to keep Penn from being lured back to Hollywood to play his most famous character in "A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas."
Jon Cho will be back, so will Neil Patrick Harris.
Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, the screenwriters of the original and Harold & Kumar Go to Guantanamo Bay, have already turned in the script.
Warner Bros is planning to possibly shoot the sequel this June, but no director has been hired. There are rumors this movie could go 3-D.
This to me seems like Jon Hurwitz grasping at straws now that he has been one-upped by his more successful college roommate, Josh Heald, writer of the smash hit "Hot Tub Time Machine."
Hurwitz is a talentless hack who made his money parodying his friends for the Harold and Goldstein characters.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Song of the Week

"Today Was a Fairy Tale" - Taylor Swift
The official song of "Valentine's Day." I'm telling you, Taylor Swift is already a star, in five years she'll be a super-duper-star of music and movies. Remember I said this.

With an Ass Like That I Guess We Shouldn't Be Surprised

While researching something unrelated I came across this picture of a girl named Nikki Giavasis.
An asprising actress who has had some roles but nothing major, her ass and her dating history all her biggest claims to fame.

During the 90s Giavasis dated Bobby Cutts, the black former cop who killed his white pregnant girlfriend Jesse Davis.

She also dated Tweety from Next and eventually filed a restraining order against him. She claimed to have poured $300,000 into his career (what did he do with all that Next money?).

She is also one of Shawn Kemp's baby mamas.

She sure knows how to pick em.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A Celebrity Couple I Never Would Have Predicted

John Tesh and Oprah?

A new unauthorized biography of Oprah written by Kitty Kelly (who else?) says they briefly dated while they were both working at the same TV station in Nashville.
But Tesh couldn't handle the pressures of an interracial relationship in the 1970s South.

"He said one night he looked down and saw his white body next to her black body and couldn't take it anymore," one of Tesh's unnamed ex-girlfriends told Kelley. "He walked out in the middle of the night. ... He told me he later felt very guilty about it."

Now that the news has leaked Tesh confirms the story: "Oprah and I were cub reporters in Nashville nearly 40 years ago and we dated for a short time. We remain friends to this day.”

Tesh refused to confirm reports that he wrote the "NBA on NBC" theme song while lamenting his lost love.

Stick to Basketball, Pal

President Obama looked halfway decent shooting a basketball with Clark Kellogg, but he obviously knows nothing about baseball.
The latest of his baseball related embarrassments occurred on Opening Day when he threw out the first pitch at the Nationals game then joined the announcers, Bob Carpenter and Rob Dibble in the booth:

Three big problems here:
1) He continues to call it "Kaminsky Park"
2) He can't name a single White Sox player. Why not say "I didn't move to Chicago until later in life when they had Frank Thomas." Give us something.
3) He throws like a girl. But he did show marked improvement compared to his All-Star Game debacle last year.

The Abridged History of Incorrectly Spelled Jerseys

San Francisco Giant Eugenio (Ay-ooh-hey-nee-oh) Velez became the latest major leaguer to wear an incorrectly spelled jersey during a game.
Velez's jersey transposed the C and S resulting in "San Francicso" adorning his jersey.

That of course brought to mind last year's debacle when Ryan Zimmerman and Adam Dunn wore "Natinals" jerseys.

What's amazing is not that it happens, we all make mistakes, but that these things go unnoticed. How many times does it happen and a player says wait, Cincinnati has 3 Is not just two, as Aaron Harang should have done before take the field in a "Cncinnati" jersey.

I mean seriously, how does no one noticed Adam Riggs playing in an "Angees" jersey. Anyone can tell that just doesn't look right.

And this one is my favorite. Joe Carter, this has to be old school. I am almost positive Mama Poop was in Toronto (or "Torotno") when this happened and she cut this out of the paper for me. I might even still have it in her house. Perhaps if she knew this one incident would start a lifelong obsession of mine about misspelled jerseys, maybe she would have thrown the paper away and never mentioned it.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Update: Reports of Derrick Coleman's Demise Not Exaggerated At All

Near the end of 2008, Derrick Coleman denied internet reports he was broke saying a liquidation sale at his former house was solely to get rid of things he no longer needed, not because he needed the money.

But now the truth comes out. Coleman filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy protection last month, saying he owes his creditors nearly $4.7 million.

He earned tens of millions during his 15-year career but listed assets of just $1 million in papers filed with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court.

Coleman’s desire to invest in the Detroit area after his playing career ended contributed to his financial problems, Coleman’s bankruptcy attorney Mark B. Berke said Friday.

Among Coleman’s ventures is a struggling Detroit development called Coleman’s Corner, an attempt to revive one of the city’s most downtrodden neighborhoods. Coleman defaulted on loans related to the mall last year.

“Mr. Coleman was focused on investing in various communities throughout the city of Detroit by developing real estate, creating jobs and revitalizing business opportunities,” Berke said. “Due to the state of the economy, including the decline in the real estate market, Mr. Coleman’s investments could not be sustained.”

Colemen’s other business interests include ownership stakes in the Hilton Garden Suites hotel in downtown Detroit, a Tim Hortons Inc. doughnut shop franchise and Hungry Howie’s Pizza store, according to court papers.

Coleman filed for Chapter 7 protection in March but only recently provided details of his assets and debts. The Chapter 7 filing indicates that the onetime New Jersey Nets forward intends to liquidate his assets in order to pay back creditors.

Among Coleman’s largest debts is $1.3 million owed to Comerica Bank in connection with a lawsuit and a $1 million loan on property in Michigan from Thornburg Mortgage Home Loans.

Coleman also owes Detroit mayor and fellow Syracuse legend Dave Bing $50,000 from a loan granted last year.

Among the assets that could be available for creditors is an eclectic mix of automobiles: a 1957 Buick convertible, worth $20,000; a 1970 Chevrolet Nova, worth $5,000; and a 1997 Bentley convertible, valued at $50,000.

Coleman also listed two Seadoo watercraft, his $90,000 NBA pension and two chinchilla fur coats.

I'm Calling for a Boycott of Carlsberg as a Show of Solidarity

The workers at Carlsberg brewery in Copenhagen are striking this week after management imposed unfair demands on them by changing a long-standing policy without first consulting the union.

Since the company was founded its workers were permitted to drink as much beer as they wanted throughout the day, so long as they were not drunk.

Carlsberg suddenly and without prior notification instituted a ban on drinking on the job other than during a 30-minute lunch break. That gives them time to pound three maybe four beers tops without being drunk after lunch.

Seems like the strike was necessary to combat the heavy-handed tactics of management.

If this happened in America Poop on Me would sue Carlsberg so fast they wouldn't even have time to chug three beers at lunch.

Btw, truck drivers are exempt. Since it's not advisable to drink and drive and all their trucks were equipped with ignition control devices, the drivers were never subject to the all you can drink rules. And since they often eat lunch away from headquarters they were given three beers to take on the road with them, a policy that will not change. But as a show of solidarity the truck drivers are striking too.

And we should follow their lead until Carlsberg's management loosens these draconian rules.

I'd liked this story if it were just about the beer policy, but I love this story because the workers are striking over it.