Saturday, December 18, 2010

Weekly Picks

Another big week, I am back to climbing after a tough stretch in the middle of the season. And I already have one in my pocket this week.

SAN DIEGO -9 san francisco
I'm telling you, the Chargers are making the playoffs. They do this every year. Matt Cassel's injury is a big help, but they are making the playoffs. Plus San Francisco scored 40 last week, they'll be lucky to get 14 against the Chargers.

cleveland +1 CINCINNATI
Colt McCoy is starting the Bengals have given up.

PITTSBURGH -5 new york jets
The Jets could be done. Things went very bad very quickly in two weeks and the Steelers are the wrong opponent for a quarterback who has no confidence.

OAKLAND -7 1/2 denver
I'm doing this out of spite because I really don't think Tim Tebow is an NFL quarterback, not now, not ever.

NEW ENGLAND -9 green bay

This line shot higher to 14 when it was announced Matt Flynn was going to play but 9 is the spread we're going with. I think it will be 30 with Flynn, and would have been 20 with Rodgers. The Patriots are just too hot right now. It might be worth it to just pick them every week and see if they let up.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 38-32 (42 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-5)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (13-10)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (14-14)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (10-8)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Dr. Oz Has a Nurse Fetish

I can't say I blame Dr. Oz but his fantasy about sexy nurses has landed him in hot water.
A group called The Truth About Nursing says a recent segment about weight loss featured six women wearing high heels, retro nurses' caps and white dresses with red lingerie peeking out, shows a lack of respect for female nurses.

I'm not sure how Mrs. Poop feels about this. She probably doesn't mind and she'd much rather have the Truth About Nursing focus its letter-writing campaign against Pink for her hurtful lyrics.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Song of the Week

"Chick on Da Side" - Koffee Brown
There is almost nothing I love more, musically, than a good male/female duet. It's the reason I love Marvin & Tammi so much. Fonz and Vee have great harmony and great timing in the dueling parts of this song. Their entire album is awesome, but it didn't sell well enough for them to make another one. This is another song I have been looking for on youtube, like "Waist Down", but was able to find only recently.

First One to Answer Wins Nothing

I was in Target paying for my popcorn and as the clerk dropped the 93 cents into my hand she said "you have very soft hands?"
What was my response?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The NFL is Poop - Week 14

I Love a Good Snow Game
And so does Tom Brady. He absolutely eviscerated the Bears’ third ranked defense. Eschewing conventional wisdom against throwing in the snow, Brady threw 40 passes, completing 27 of them for 369 yards and 2 touchdowns in a 36-7 victory. Last year Brady had the best game of his career in the snow, 29 for 34 for 380 yards and 6 touchdowns in a 59-0 victory over the Titans. And of course Tom Brady’s legend started in the snow, with the Tuck Game against the Raiders (32 for 52, 312 yards). For the Patriots, it’s beginning to look a lot like 2007. Since the embarrassing loss to the Cleveland Browns the Pats have won 5 in a row scoring at least 31 each time. And beating good teams over that span, Pittsburgh, the Jets, Indianapolis and Chicago. I wouldn’t want to play them in New England in the playoffs.

As for the Bears. This is the beginning of the end for them. Even if they beat Minnesota on Monday they will lose their last two games against the Jets and Green Bay, costing them the division (even though they got a huge break when Green Bay lost to Detroit). The wild cards will go the Giants and Saints and the Bears will be home for the playoffs.

Sure, It was For His Nephew, Right
After the Eagles defeated his Cowboys 30-27, Cowboys running back Tashard Choice asked Eagles quarterback Michael Vick for his autograph. I know some people had a problem with this, maybe it’s undignified for one player to ask another for an autograph, maybe Choice should have been more somber after a loss (like Derek Anderson). I say give the guy a break, his nephew wanted Vick’s autograph.

Can’t Even Kick an Extra Point
Another embarrassing loss for the Redskins. Ryan Torain had 172 yards rushing but only 14 in the second half on only 6 carries, thanks to idiotic coaching. Thanks to crappy quarterbacking the Redskins started the second half with 3 straight 3 and outs. Thanks to crappy kicking, two missed field goals by Graham Gano, the Redskins need to kick a late extra point just to tie the game. Thanks to lousy long-snapping/holding, the Redskins blew the snap and cost themselves the game.

Not a Good Day for QBs
Here are some of the worst performance by quarterbacks on Sunday (listed in ascending order of rating):
Kyle Orton 27.1
Jay Cutler 32.9
Drew Stanton 39.4
Mark Sanchez 45.3
Carson Palmer 48.7
Brodie Croyle 48.9
Jake Delhomme 49.2
John Skelton 52.3

Amazingly, Drew Stanton and John Skelton were winning QBs. But as the temperature drops, so do the QB ratings.

Have a Nice Trip, See You Next Fall
How did the Jets not fire strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi? He deliberately stuck his knee out to interfere with Nolan Carroll on punt coverage. I like the fact that he came forward and admitted it right away without pretending it was an accident, but still for something this egregious, for such an inconsequential coach, I think the Jets should have given him the axe.

Cliff Lee Forfeits Millions So His Wife Won't Get Spit On

Free agent pitcher Cliff Lee shocks the world by turning down a 6-year, $132 million contract with the Yankees (with a possible 7th year at $16m) for a 5-year, $108 million (with a likely 6th year at $25m UPDATED) with the Phillies, all because Yankees fans are disgusting pigs.
Kristen Lee was harassed by Yankees fans during the ALCS.
She says they were spitting and throwing beer in her direction and shouting obscenities.
"The fans did not do good things in my heart," she said. "When people are staring at you, and saying horrible things, it's hard not to take it personal."
At the time Lee downplayed the incident because he wanted to keep the Yankees involved in the bidding.
But it’s obvious he didn’t want his family subjected to that behavior for 6 years, especially after these comments were publicized, putting a target on her back.
I mean if you would rather be surrounded by Phillies fans, you must have a pretty low opinion of those people you are likely to run into at a Yankees game.

As for the baseball side of this deal, it obviously gives the Phillies an historically great starting rotation – on paper.
But that is why grass was invented, so we wouldn’t have to play games on paper.
First of all, in baseball we know nothing is for certain, there are injuries and disappointing performances. And even if the Phillies do dominate the regular season, the playoffs can be a crapshoot, they could lose in the first round.
I think this acquisition gives the Phillies a 10 (Halladay), a 9 (Lee), an 8 (Oswalt) and a 7 (Hamels). If one guy gets hurt and one guy has a disappointing year, then their staff really isn’t that much better than it was last year.
And before we start crowning Lee (if you wanna crown him, then crown his ass), we should note that out of 7 full seasons he only has one ERA below 3.00. So in that bandbox it’s not impossible to imagine him checking in with a 3.50 next season.

In summary:
1) As much as I hate the Yankees, I’d rather Lee signed with him, because they don’t directly compete with the Mets.
2) The Mets weren’t going to be able to challenge the Phillies this year anyway. Maybe in a couple years when they rebuild the Halladay and Lee will be in decline and the Phillies will be stuck with two aging pitchers earning $20 million per year.
3) Let’s not start sucking Cliff Lee’s dick just yet.

What Happens If You Get Punched in the Eye 50 Times

I have written several times about my dislike for the fighting style of Georges St. Pierre. It’s incredibly effective, but he never finishes fights.
I also hate Josh Koscheck, who is usually an exciting fighter, but is such a dick (and one of the worst The Ultimate Fighter Coaches not named Rampage ever) that he’s impossible to root for unless you’re JHughes (he loves dicks).
So it was good on two counts Saturday night that GSP finally fought an exciting fight (though he still didn’t finish) and Koscheck got his ass kicked.
GSP knew he wouldn’t have the distinct wrestling advantage he enjoys against other fighters, so he trained on his boxing. He boxed like a champ, breaking Koscheck’s orbital bone in the first round and pounding on it the rest of the fight.
Take a look at the picture below of Koscheck's severely fucked up eye.
The overall card was weak (so is the one for UFC 125) but at least the main event was fun to watch.

Picture of Josh Koscheck's fucked up eye

Monday, December 13, 2010

Bowl Mania Time

ESPN has its Bowl Mania game up for this year. It's simple. Pick every bowl game and rank them by confidence. This year you even get to pick against Syracuse. Group name is The Poop.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Weekly Picks

BOOM! Finally got that perfect 6 I've been looking for all season. I don't hear much from the haters this season. Every week last year when I was struggling some jerk popped off in the comments section. Nails literally cost himself thousands of dollars last year going against my advice out of spite. Now I've turned it around and all I hear are crickets. Anyway, the strange thing is, I didn't feel confident going into last week, and basically chose my best bet at random, didn't matter. I feel good about a lot of games this week, so we'll see how that works out.

NEW YORK JETS -5 1/2 miami
They'll bounce back.

new york giants -3 MINNESOTA
Whichever quarterback starts for the Vikings is going to have a tough time. The Giants are so good at rushing the passer, running the ball, and throwing it, the only way they lose is when they turn it over. Apparently the G-Men had some travel complications so they aren't getting into Minnesota until Sunday morning, but that shouldn't effect them.

new england -3 CHICAGO
The Patriots are the best team in the league. The Bears are the worst 9-3 team in history. They will lose 3 of 4 and miss the playoffs.

cleveland +1 BUFFALO
Peyton Hillis becomes the first white running back to rush for 1000 yards in about 25 years. And they beat the Bills 13-10.

SAN DIEGO -9 kansas city

This spread has gone way up. I guess that's because Brodie Croyle is playing, and people would much rather look at Brodie Croyle's wife instead. Earlier this season I said betting against a team just because the backup quarterback is playing is often a bad idea. Not in this case. The Chargers are very good and they love to put their own backs against the wall. They will key on the run and force Croyle to beat them. He will throw 3 interceptions, then go home and fuck his hot wife.

Last week: 5-0 (6 points)
Season: 35-30 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-5)
Home Favorites: 3-0 (12-9)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (12-14)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (10-7)