Yankees Fan Tries To Propose, Can't Find Ring

An idiot Yankees fan (sorry for the redundancy) tried to propose to his girlfriend, but couldn't find the ring. The entire section was looking for it.



Eventually they found it, seemingly in the cuff of her pants. Despite him being a complete moron, she said yes and they will live happily ever after.

Now I don't want to insult the couple too badly, but they are the typical Yankees couple. He's a dead-eyed douchebag and she's cute but trashy.

I wish them well.

Good Thing I Didn't Die While Mike Piazza Was on the Mets

85-year-old Helen Fowler of Cranford, NJ passed away recently and in her obituary she (and/or her surviving family members) wanted the world to know how much Helen loved the New York Yankees.

Except for that miserable bum, Alex Rodriguez.
God bless you Helen.

Why I Created the "Typical Yankees Fan" Tag

Curt Schilling tweeted congratulations to his daughter Gabby for getting accepted to Salve Regina University in Newport, Rhode Island where she will be playing softball.

As usual, the trolls had to chime in, two in particular. Hollywood (@primetime227) and The Sports Guru (@Nagels_Bagels) went back in forth with a series of vile tweets about her.

"Teach me your knuckleball technique so I can shove my first in your daughter."

"I'm sure she can fit a nice Easton in there as well for some DP."

"Curt bleeds more from his sock than Gabby does from her pussy when she's on her period."

"Curt rocked the mullet- business in front, part in back...Gabby prefers the party in the back. #ButtStuff2015"

Even though the last one is kind of funny, those are still terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad things to say -- about someone's daughter -- in a public forum -- fully intending for the target of the comments to read them.

To Schilling's credit he posted the entire thing on his blog and really went after them.

And in the end, he taught them an important lessons about trolling and consequences.

Adam Nagel has been suspended by Brookdale Community College.

"Hollywood" Sean MacDonald was a part-time ticket seller for the Yankees. He isn't anymore. The Yankees fired him immediately saying they "have zero tolerance for anything like this."

Fat Yankees Fan Sleeps, Sues

Andrew Rector was caught on camera sleeping in the stands during a Red Sox-Yankees game at Yankee Stadium:



Now Rector is suing ESPN, MLB and Dan Shulman and John Kruk because the announcers made fun of him. The lawsuit says the "unending verbal crusade against" Rector caused him “substantial injury” to his “character and reputation,” as well as “mental anguish, loss of future income and loss of earning capacity.”

The lawsuit doesn't even look as if it was prepared by a real lawyer, it's full of typos misspellings and failed attempts to sound intelligent.

Fact is, calling the guy "oblivious," wondering if he missed the Beltran homer and gently joking about his weight (by asking Kruk if they are related) are totally legitimate things for the announcers to do.

His other allegations that they called him confused and unintelligent just aren't true. But if they had said those things, they'd be right.

Poker pro Vanessa Selbst got caught on camera sleeping at a Montreal Canadiens game but you don't see her filing frivolous lawsuits.

Dumb Yankees Fans

The brilliant Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon pulled a good prank on stupid Yankees fans (click here for a funny joke -- needs speakers!). They asked them to boo a giant cardboard box with Robinson Cano's face on it. And then the real Robinson Cano popped out.



I love how quickly they change their dispositions.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: Mariano Rivera's Farewell Tour

The Good:
A very nice moment at Yankee Stadium during Rivera's last home game. Joe Girardi brought him with 2 on and 1 out in the 8th inning and the Yankees losing 4-0. Rivera stayed in for the 9th and retired the first two batters before being pulled from the game, with Derek Jeter and Andy Pettitte being the ones to come out and get him. A long emotional scene unfolded on the mound, including a 4-minute standing ovation.

Eventually a tearful Rivera scooped up some dirt from the mound as a memento.

The Bad:
In his last appearance at Fenway Park the Red Sox gave Rivera a picture of himself on the day in 2005 when Red Sox fans gave him a derisive cheer for blowing Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS which started the amazing comeback which led to the Red Sox first World Series title in 86 years.

The Ugly:
Mariano Rivera bobblehead night was marred by a bunch of angry Yankees fans, moreso than the average Yankee game is marred by them. The bobbleheads were shipped from Washington State (evidently at the last minute) and the truck brokedown in New Jersey causing the bobbleheads to be late.
Yankee fans were given vouchers as they entered the Stadium, causing long lines and delays.

When the bobbleheads finally arrived moments before game time, Yankee fans crammed the concourses, trying to redeem their vouchers.

Bonus:
Mrs. Poop will no longer be able to hear "Enter Sandman" (she often warns me to "sleep with one eye open") at the Hard Rock Cafe. The restaurant chain has "retired" the song at all its locations except the one in Yankee Stadium. I retired "Superthug" and haven't heard more than a few seconds of it since 1999.

A Yankee Fan I Actually Like

Leave it to the New York Post to put a New York-centric spin on the killing of Muammar Qaddafi. The Libyan rebel who claims to have fired the fatal bullet (there's no way of knowing for sure) was wearing a Yankee hat.
The post gives him credit on its cover "Khadafy Killed by Yankee Fan."
But the subheading was even better "Gunman had more hits than A-Rod."

Cliff Lee Forfeits Millions So His Wife Won't Get Spit On

Free agent pitcher Cliff Lee shocks the world by turning down a 6-year, $132 million contract with the Yankees (with a possible 7th year at $16m) for a 5-year, $108 million (with a likely 6th year at $25m UPDATED) with the Phillies, all because Yankees fans are disgusting pigs.
Kristen Lee was harassed by Yankees fans during the ALCS.
She says they were spitting and throwing beer in her direction and shouting obscenities.
"The fans did not do good things in my heart," she said. "When people are staring at you, and saying horrible things, it's hard not to take it personal."
At the time Lee downplayed the incident because he wanted to keep the Yankees involved in the bidding.
But it’s obvious he didn’t want his family subjected to that behavior for 6 years, especially after these comments were publicized, putting a target on her back.
I mean if you would rather be surrounded by Phillies fans, you must have a pretty low opinion of those people you are likely to run into at a Yankees game.

As for the baseball side of this deal, it obviously gives the Phillies an historically great starting rotation – on paper.
But that is why grass was invented, so we wouldn’t have to play games on paper.
First of all, in baseball we know nothing is for certain, there are injuries and disappointing performances. And even if the Phillies do dominate the regular season, the playoffs can be a crapshoot, they could lose in the first round.
I think this acquisition gives the Phillies a 10 (Halladay), a 9 (Lee), an 8 (Oswalt) and a 7 (Hamels). If one guy gets hurt and one guy has a disappointing year, then their staff really isn’t that much better than it was last year.
And before we start crowning Lee (if you wanna crown him, then crown his ass), we should note that out of 7 full seasons he only has one ERA below 3.00. So in that bandbox it’s not impossible to imagine him checking in with a 3.50 next season.

In summary:
1) As much as I hate the Yankees, I’d rather Lee signed with him, because they don’t directly compete with the Mets.
2) The Mets weren’t going to be able to challenge the Phillies this year anyway. Maybe in a couple years when they rebuild the Halladay and Lee will be in decline and the Phillies will be stuck with two aging pitchers earning $20 million per year.
3) Let’s not start sucking Cliff Lee’s dick just yet.

It's Huge, It's Showy, It's Obnoxious...It's Perfect

Everyone agrees the giant monument for George Steinbrenner unveiled at Yankee Stadium is too big. It's narcissitic. It's ostentatious. Which makes it a perfect tribute to George Steinbrenner. Only in his mind was he more worthy of praise than Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle.

Derek Cheater

The evil Derek Jeter fakes getting hit by a pitch -- and is awarded first base. The worst part is the next batter homered to give the Yankees the lead. But justince prevailed and the Yankees lost.

Not All Yankee Fans Are Bad People, But All Bad People Are Yankee Fans

A great New York Times article proves what I have been saying for years: Yankee fans are criminals.

You really should read the whole thing but if you have ADHD like Juice take away this one key piece of information: Since 2000, more than 100 people who have been suspects or persons of interest in connection with serious crimes in New York City wore Yankees apparel at the time of the crimes or at the time of their arrest or arraignment. Only about a dozen people in the same review were found to be wearing Mets gear


Two men and a woman broke into a locker at a Manhattan gym in February and stole credit cards, the first in a series of similar thefts.
Three months later, in May, a young man tried to rob a Chase bank in the Bronx armed with only a note, which he slipped to a teller. She read it and stepped away, and he fled empty-handed. Weeks later, in June, a gunman robbed a Family Dollar store in Queens.
Gym-locker heists, bank robberies, daylight holdups — these New York City crimes have only one thing in common, and it is not the culprits.
It is the Yankees caps they wore.



A curious phenomenon has emerged at the intersection of fashion, sports and crime: dozens of men and women who have robbed, beaten, stabbed and shot at their fellow New Yorkers have done so while wearing Yankees caps or clothing.
One of the three suspects in the gym break-ins wore a blue Yankees cap. A security camera photographed the man who tried to rob the Bronx bank, and though his face was largely obscured, his Yankees hat was clearly visible. The Queens robbery suspect was last seen with a Yankees cap on his head.
In some ways, it is not surprising that Yankees attire is worn by both those who abide by the law and those who break it. The Yankees are one of the most famous franchises in sports, and their merchandise is widely available and hugely popular.
But Yankees caps and clothing have dominated the crime blotter for so long, in so many parts of the city and in so many types of offenses, that it defies an easy explanation. Criminologists, sports marketing analysts, consumer psychologists and Yankees fans have developed their own theories, with some attributing the trend to the popularity of the caps among gangsta rappers and others wondering whether criminals are identifying with the team’s aura of money, power and success.
Since 2000, more than 100 people who have been suspects or persons of interest in connection with serious crimes in New York City wore Yankees apparel at the time of the crimes or at the time of their arrest or arraignment. The tally is based on a review of New York Police Department news releases, surveillance video and images of robberies and other crimes, as well as police sketches and newspaper articles that described suspects’ clothing. No other sports team comes close.
The Mets, forever in the shadow of their Bronx rivals, are perhaps grateful to be losing this one: only about a dozen people in the same review were found to be wearing Mets gear.
“It’s a shame,” said Chuck Frantz, 57, the president of the 430-member Lehigh Valley Yankee Fan Club in Pennsylvania. “It makes us Yankees fans look like criminals, because of a few unfortunate people who probably don’t know the first thing about the Yankees.”
The Yankees organization declined to comment for this article.
Antisocial behavior has no dress code; people wear what they please when they please, whether they are going to see a movie or going to rob a bank. And in New York City, that often means Yankees attire, regardless of the hour or the season.
In April 2008, on the day after the Boston Red Sox defeated the Yankees in the Bronx, a man in a Yankees cap robbed a bank about a mile from Yankee Stadium. The woman who robbed a Manhattan bank on July 7 was diplomatic in her clothing choices: she wore an orange Mets cap and a gray Yankees T-shirt.
Three gunmen burst into an apartment in Washington Heights on July 23, bound the hands and feet of the tenants and left with cash. A surveillance video released by the police and broadcast on television showed one of the suspects in a Yankees cap — one of the most iconic brands in sports represented, however briefly, by someone accused of helping tie up a 9-year-old girl.
In 2007, after activists protested the sale of Yankees caps that bore the colors and symbols associated with three gangs, Major League Baseball’s official cap manufacturer pulled the headwear, and the Yankees said in a statement that they were unaware of the caps’ symbolism.
Yankees caps have even played a central role in a few crimes. One day in 2003, a fight over a missing Yankees cap broke out between two brothers in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. One brother, an ex-convict, ended up stabbing and killing the other.
One criminologist said the trend might be a result of what could be called the Jay-Z effect.
The rapper Jay-Z has worn a Yankees cap for years — on his album covers and in his videos — and has helped turn the cap into a ubiquitous fashion accessory for urban youths (“I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can,” he boasts in one song).
Criminals might be wearing Yankees merchandise not because they are fans of the team, but because they are fans of the cocked-hat look popularized by Jay-Z and other rappers, said the criminologist, Frankie Y. Bailey, an associate professor at the University at Albany, who is writing a book about the role of clothing and style in criminal cases.
“He wears it and makes it look cool,” Ms. Bailey said of Jay-Z and the cap. “It’s almost like the Yankees have acquired a kind of street rep, a coolness.”
It is but one of several theories. Sports marketing analysts say it is a matter of numbers: the Yankees sell more merchandise than any other baseball team. As of August, they hold a 25.13 percent market share of nationwide sales of merchandise licensed by Major League Baseball, with the Red Sox second at 7.96 percent and the Mets seventh at 5.32 percent, according to SportsOneSource, a firm that tracks the sporting goods industry.
For criminals outside New York, the team’s caps and clothing are nearly as popular.
The man who robbed a Chase branch in a Chicago suburb in May wore a Yankees cap. In July, a young man in a Yankees cap assaulted an 81-year-old woman in her home, about 2,800 miles from Yankee Stadium, in Seattle.
“Why people pick the Yankees over the Mariners, I don’t know,” said Detective Mark Jamieson, a Seattle police spokesman. “It just happened to be an article of clothing he was wearing on that particular day.”
And Yankees caps hold a distinguished place in the annals of crime: the man who robbed more banks than anyone else in American history wore one. Edwin Chambers Dodson, known as the Yankee Bandit because he wore a Yankees cap and sunglasses during most of his holdups, robbed 72 banks in Southern California in the early 1980s and the late 1990s.
Mr. Dodson, who died in 2003, was a fan of the team. “We did everything we could to get this guy,” said William J. Rehder, 69, a retired special agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation who was the longtime coordinator of bank robbery investigations in the Los Angeles area.
Mr. Rehder not only named the Yankee Bandit, but helped put him behind bars twice. “I couldn’t figure out why he was so lucky,” he said. “I didn’t attribute anything to the cap, but I’m sure he did.”
Mr. Rehder, now a security consultant in Los Angeles, is a Dodgers fan. Nevertheless, he keeps an old, worn Yankees cap on a shelf in his office at home. Mr. Rehder never wears it. It belonged to the Yankee Bandit.

One Obnoxious Yankees Fan I Find Amusing

Never say I am not an unbiased journalist. I hate the Yankees but I have to give credit where credit is due. This guy biting the pork chop right out of Kim Jones's hand is an unparalleled act of bravery and humor.