Thursday, July 19, 2012

Am I Supposed to Be Sad About This?

When I saw this e-card I immediately thought of one person: Jared G. He was exactly the person described here. He played football, he was nominally cool, girls thought he was cute and he thought he was hot shit. One time, on the bus back from a trip to Quebec, I was trying to sleep and he was fucking with me. Putting his hands in my face, grazing my nose, so I jumped up, slapped his hands away and told him to cut the shit. He punched me in the face and broke my glasses. While we never had another incident and I seldom was around him, I always felt like he thought he was better than me because he had gotten the best of me that day, and because he was cooler in high school.

Last week Jared G. killed himself. He shot himself in his car in the Village Greens Shopping Center in Arden Heights. He was married with a young child. After college at CSI, Jared opened up a beer distributor on Manor Rd (or bought the existing one) with at least one of his other high school football buddies who also lacked skills translatable to a job in the real world. Evidently that venture failed because in the article about his death the Advance says he was driving a cement truck.

They say living well is the best revenge so I guess it would be hard to deny I got revenge on Jared. Me working where I work and him driving a cement truck is the real world equivalent of me being on the football team and him running track.

I wouldn't say I am happy he's dead, nor that I smiled when I heard that he died, but I don't feel any sadness for him either. I am sad that his young child has to grow up without a father, but other than that nothing. Obviously his life didn't turn out the way he hoped when he was walking around the Susan Wagner hallways in his cool football jacket with the white leather sleeves. Mine did. I don't want to sound angry about an incident from 17 or 18 years ago, because I seldom if ever thought about him, until that e-card reminded me. But it does give me a weird sense of satisfaction. Sort of like Walt, at the end of Season 4, "I won."

This is not the first time I've been insensitive to someone who committed suicide. Read the comments attached to this post to find out what a jerk I am.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Song of the Week

"End of the Road" - Boyz II Men
20 years ago this song was #1. Amazing.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Lead By Example

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I was and I saw.
Thank you for all the things you did,
when you thought I wasn't looking.

-Author Unknown