Saturday, June 02, 2012
The Cardinals hometown paper, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, put an asterisk on Johan Santana's no-hitter because of the missed call. Fuck you assholes. Karmic retribution will be revisited on the Cardinals who will not pitch another no-hitter for 50 years. Let's see how they like it.
The 8-thousand and twentieth time is the charm. The New York Mets have their first no-hitter in franchise history. My father and I have a long-standing debate over whether he can actually jinx no-hitters. He has called me so many times to tell me to put the game on, to ask if I'm watching, and each time the first hit was struck shortly after. He insisted that his calls had nothing to do with it. I told him his success rate was zero on calling and getting me to watch a no-hitter. Might as well try a different strategy. And this time, he was here with me in my house, so he couldn't call me. And it's a good thing he was. Often on Friday nights I record the Mets game and watch something else with Mrs. Poop. Best case scenario, I would have seen it only delay. But in this case two things were set to record on the DVR. So if not for wanting to watch the game with Papa Poop, I might not have seen it at all. And it's great that it happened on a Friday night. This could have been a Tuesday 10pm start in San Diego. But it was Friday when Mets fans were home, and even if they weren't watching they got an e-mail (though no one should be e-mailing during a no-hitter) saw a tweet or a Facebook post, and I'm sure by the end every serious Mets fan (except for Damino) was praying for the end of this dreaded streak. If it couldn't be Tom Seaver, or Dwight Gooden in his short but spectacular prime, I am glad Johan was the pitcher to do it. Some teams have no-hitters by journeymen like Philip Humber, AJ Burnett and Bobo Holloman. The first (and hopefully not the last) no-hitter in Mets history was thrown by one of the best pitchers in franchise history. nonohitters.com updated their website to say "The streak ends at 8,019: Santana no-hits Cards." What are they going to do now? What is Majkowski going to do now? What am I going to do now? In a big way the experience of being a Mets fan is defined not by success but by failure. Not just abject failure, close-to-the-top, soul-crushing failure. The Mets always make you believe, and usually let you down. The no-hitter streak exemplifies that. The Mets have always been a franchise of great pitchers. And it's not like they haven't had chance, 35 1-hitters in team history. That's the whole identity of being a Mets fan. Of always being second to the Yankees, always coming up short. But not tonight, Johan changed all that. Next time a Mets pitcher takes a no-hitter into the 7th or 8th, maybe Papa Poop won't even bother calling, and if he doesn't maybe I won't even get upset. Because finally a New York Mets pitcher has pitched a no-hitter. Something I have been waiting my entire life to see has finally happened.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
UCLA will be suiting up a new freshman cornerback this season, a kid named Justin Combs. If the last name sounds familiar it is because Justin is the son of Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P-Diddy aka Diddy aka Diddy Dirty Money. Combs will be attending UCLA on a football scholarship and this has some people upset. They don’t think the son of a guy with a net worth of half-a-billion dollars should be getting a free ride to attend school. Not when the state’s education system is broke. Not when so many underprivileged students can’t afford to attend UCLA. The school says athletic scholarships are handed out based on merit, not need. If Combs is a good athlete and an adequate student (and he’s reportedly better than that) he earned this scholarship and he deserves it. This is a big problem in this country right now, attacking the rich based on some misguided notion of what is fair. Basically the argument goes like this: either it is unfair that one kid has a ridiculously rich father AND a football scholarship, or it’s unfair that a kid who earned a football scholarship should have to pay for college just because he can afford to. It will be a real shame if this attitude pervades America so deeply that rich and successful people and their children are begrudged their wealth and success, even when they’ve clearly worked hard to earn what they have. Justin Combs should go to UCLA, play hard, study hard and grow into a fine young man. Sean Combs should count his money. And if he wants to give some of it to the school as a donation or to a needy kid for an education, that would be great. And if he doesn’t, then that’s fine too.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
A Romanian TV weatherman was supposed to file a story about heavy winds along the Black Sea. But he was late to the scene and the wind had died down. So he had his production assistant assist in the production of a sandstorm. But his idiot cameraman panned out too wide and you can see the guy kicking the sand: