Friday, June 16, 2006

The Mets Know How to Party

Undated pictures of Cliff Floyd, Paul Lo Duca and David Wright partying with some chicks have made their way to the internet, via the trashy baseball blog On the DL. Based on the rest of their pictures the girls seem to be serious Mets fans, and nothing too scandalous is going on in the photos, still you hate to see the damage that can be caused by a little alcohol and a camera phone.

Orioles 6 Mets 3

All good things must come to an end. We knew the Mets couldn't keep winning forever, nor could they keep scoring in the first inning of every game, but this game was still a little disappointing.

Soler deserved better tonight. He allowed only four hits and 2 runs, both in the third. One of those runs was unearned because Roberts reached on an error, given to Reyes, but Delgado actually deserved it for dropping the throw. Soler lowered his ERA to 3.00 and has shaken off that horrible start, and has pieced together three good ones.

The offense did nothing against Eric Bedard. They didn't get their first hit until the 5th inning. They scored a run in the second on two walks, a sacrifice and a groundout. But they did take the lead in the 5th on a 2 run double from Reyes, who stayed hot tonight, while the rest of the Mets cooled down.
Reyes leads the National League in runs scored (tied with Rickie Weeks) at 54. And he also has 35 RBI, an exceptional total for a leadoff man.

But when Soler left after the 6th the Mets planned to bring in Heilman, Sanchez and Wagner for one inning each. Heilman sucked again. He has been very spotty this season and right now I think Feliciano and Bradford are more reliable in a big spot. Heilman can't seem to throw strikes and that's what got him in trouble. He walked the first two batters he faced, then got a sacrifice. The next ball was hit sharply at Delgado and he couldn't handle it, so instead of a play at the plate, he got the out at first and the tying run scored. Heilman then gave up a single, followed by a backbreaking home run to former Met Melvin Mora.

I don't know if Heilman is pouting about not being in the rotation, if he really has a mechanical problem or if he just isn't that good. But I do not trust him in a big spot. Other than Heath Bell (who has only pitched in 9 games), Heilman is the only Met reliever not to have a win this season. Bartolome Fortunato and Jorge Julio both do. Heilman is 0-2, while Sanchez, Wagner and Oliver are a combined 10-0. His 4.86 ERA is the worst of anyone (starter or reliever) currently on the team.

Gary Cohen made his return to the broadcast booth after missing two weeks following an emergency appendectomy. Omar Minaya was in the booth, talking about Milledge, but not his plans for him. Just said he still has some growing up to do but they aren't worried about him. Ralph Kiner was also in the booth. You know he didn't say anything noteworthy.

They kept reminiscing about the 1969 World Series, I guess having the Orioles in town will do that. My favorite undertold story about 1969 is from Buddy Harrelson. Don Buford (father of former Met Damon) led off the first game of the series with a home run. According to Buddy as he rounded second Buford told him "you ain't seen nothing yet." Buddy replied "first inning, first game, you ain't seen nothing yet either." The Mets lost that first game, and won the next four. So I guess Buddy was right.

The Orioles selected Nick Markakis one slot ahead of where the Mets took Lastings Milledge in the 2003 draft. This season in 176 at bats, Markakis is batting .227 with 2 homers and 16 RBI. In 56 at bats, Milledge is batting .241 with 2 homers and 11 RBI. Hopefully the Orioles will regret that decision for many years.

Misunderstood Request

This is what the Master wanted me to post:

Britney Knows a Good Idea When She Sees One

Following in the steps of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Britney Spears is considering a Namibian birth for her next baby, a government official said Friday.
Deputy Environment and Tourism Minister Leon Jooste said officials have received an inquiry on behalf of the 24-year-old pop star, who has a 9-month-old son, Sean Preston, with husband Kevin Federline.
"She has shown interest to come over to Namibia," Jooste said by telephone from a conference in neighboring South Africa. "Nothing has been confirmed yet, but there is a definite possibility of that happening."
He declined to provide further details, saying: "She wants to come in very low profile and have some privacy. She might change her mind if we reveal too much now."

The Genius of the Concierge

Several years ago while driving around in New Jersey the Concierge and I, and possibly even Reissberg and Leary, we noticed a restaurant, Ming Dynasty, which billed itself as the "Best Chinese Food in New Jersey." We thought it to be a boastful, presumptuous and even meaningless claim. We speculated that had they said second or even third best, it would have been better because then you would assume that some sort of competition took place. That's the back story, here's the e-mail the Concierge just sent me:

"I really want a story about Ming Dynasty- The Second Best Chinese Restaurant in New Jersey.
Today- I had an analogous encounter when I saw a sign on Wall Street for the Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich. This led to my previous conclusion that had they said they were the Second Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich, I might believe it. It carrys more credibility. Then I got to thinking, when did this contest for Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich take place? What was the criteria by which the sandwich were judged? Was it televised? Who were the judges? - Then I thought- How many Braised Short Rib Sandwiches were in the competition? - I mean it is not everyday you see thing sandwich on a menu.- maybe there was only two sandwiches in the competition- maybe it was an internal contest in which they used several different recipes for Braised Short Rib Sandwiches and then said Ah-Hah?- This one is the best one; and so they offered it for sale as the Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich."

Crazy Guillen

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen went batshit crazy after he brought in relief pitcher Sean Tracey to hit Hank Blalock, and instead he got him to ground out. Guillen wanted retaliation for the Rangers having hit AJ Pierzynski two times. Tracey did try to hit Blalock, coming inside twice, but failed, after which Guillen threw his water bottle and took Tracey out of the game. The next day Tracey was sent back to Charlotte. And he doesn't even live there.
I can see why Guillen is upset if he felt his order had been ignored. But basically Guillen is just batshit crazy as I previously stated. But he talks like Tony Montana, so that's why the Concierge likes him.


for Master Bates
for Justin
for Uncle Remus
for my country

World Cup Weekend

Should be an interesting weekend of World Cup games, now that the action has picked up somewhat, and we're on to 3 and 4 games per day, instead of 2.
So far it's been a disappointing tournament for two reasons.
First the U.S. got smoked. The Poop's soccer expert Reissberg says the team was overrated coming in and doesn't have the talent to match the top European sides. He said the great run in 2002 was the product of a favorable draw. Doesn't mean they were one of the top 8 teams just because they made the quarters. Those same dynamics are unquestionably working against them this time as they are in a very tough group.
The U.S. can still advance with a win over Italy tomorrow at 3pm and a win over Ghana on Thursday. If that happens Italy would have to beat Czech.
So, can the U.S. beat Italy? The first thing to consider is do they have the talent? The answer is probably Italy is a little more talented and a lot more experienced. But I do feel the U.S. can win and here's how: They have to play like they're possessed. They have to use the ass-kicking and the subsequent criticism as fuel for the fire.

The second reason I'm not into the World Cup is because my pre-tournament pick, France, and Brazil played boring opening matches. I watched them both back to back on Tuesday and only one goal was scored. I did enjoy Zinedine Zidane for France. He is a master. You can tell how the game just sort of slows down for him. Brazil knew they were going to win and didn't seem properly motivated.

The teams will play again on Sunday as two-thirds of ABC's tripleheader starting at 9am. Hopefully these matches will provide more excitement.

Meet the Mets

My Favorite Word

The Boston Red Sox recently completed a series with Minnesota Twins in Minnesota. Before that the Twins hosted the Baltimore Orioles. According to the Boston Herald, former Red Sox, current Oriole Kevin Millar, left Terry Francona a little gift in the visiting manager's office: dog poop.

Heroic Bat Boy

Uptight sports broadcasters never show crazed fans running onto the field for fear it will cause copycats. I agree that people do this just to be on TV so I don't like giving in, but for the announcers to call this bat boy "heroic," might be a bit of an overstatement.

Coach Confusion

Just want to be clear: I believe that Mike and Coach are two different people. They look alike but I have never seen them in the same place at the same time. And I now believe that Coach is dead.

Celeb Sighting

Today I met Splash. Splash is the dog of Senator Ted Kennedy. Splash is the author of a new children's book, called "My Senator and Me." It's written from the dog's perspective so I guess its a good book for dogs to read also.
Sen. Kennedy was very gracious, standing up to greet us (even though he has a back problem) and introducing himself and his wife to all of us. The dogs (Splash's brother Sunny came too) sat at the Senator's feet while he was eating fruit, even tapping him on the leg to get some. When I asked what kind of dogs they are Senator Kennedy said "Portguese water dogs."
I said "those are the dogs they have in San Francisco..."
He said "yes, at the ballpark to fetch the balls from the water. They're very strong swimmers."
His wife then got the dogs to do a trick. She broke a biscuit in half, they immediately followed her. They both went from sitting to the down position. She placed the biscuit halves about 6 inches from their noses. They waited patiently. She clapped and they pounced. Great dogs.
During the interview Splash sat quietly under the Senator's feet and played with his tennis ball.
I really liked the Senator and it just goes to show that your impression of someone from the media can be totally wrong. Knowing about someone is not the same as knowing them. And just because you disagree with someone's politics doesn't mean that he is not a good person.

Celeb Sighting

Can't believe I forgot about this the whole week. As I was leaving one rainy day, the security guard said "that's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar." I looked over by the door and there was the tallest man I've ever seen. He actually is so skinny that he looks awkward. He had to duck to get through the revolving door, and looked so silly carrying his umbrella. I didn't get to talk to him though. If I had I would have told him that my dad doesn't think he plays hard every night.

Roger, Roger, What's our vector, Victor?  we have clearance, Clarence

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Foot in Mouth Disease

President Bush makes fun of Los Angeles Times reporter Peter Wallsten for wearing sunglasses at the press conference. One problem: Wallsten has a degenerative eye condition and is legally blind. Bush didn't know and later apologized. Wallsten said he wasn't offended, he was more upset that his question went unanswered.

The Good Old Days

Me, with Coach (yes, that's Coach not Mike) and Pizza Parlor Derek. Mike told me this picture was taken about four years ago on a trip to Atlantic City. I believe I won $600 playing pai gow on that trip. But Mike wasn't there so how should he know.

Right Outta Jet Centerfold

Janet Jackson recently lost about 60 pounds and body is boomin. I couldn't be happier.

Back to the Minors

It appears that after his brief tryout Lastings Milledge will be headed back to the minors when Xavier Nady comes off the DL, probably early next week.
Milledge showed flahses of brilliance in his brief stay but he also pissed off Willie Randolph a few times.
There was the infamous fan high five incident.
Then last night he didn't run hard on Franco's double. I watched that play again, Randolph was right to get on his ass for that. He should have been running full speed the whole way, with two outs there was no need to look back.
And now, it turns out Milledge missed the bus to today's game and showed up a little more than an hour before the game. That earned him a reprimand.

Willie doesn't make the final decision on player moves but he has said he wants to get other players (Franco, Marrero, Woodward) some at bats at DH during interleague play. Meaning he doesn't want Milledge in left and Floyd DHing all the games. He also said he feels Milledge needs to play everyday.

If I were in charge I'd keep him here, playing everyday in right field. But I don't mind this move too much. Honestly, at most its only for 2 more months. He will certainly be a September callup and he's already earned himself a spot in the outfield next season.

So if he does get sent down, it won't be greatness lost, just greatness deferred.

Howie Cakes

Joe Ganniscoli aka Vito Spatafore, stopped by the Mets broadcast booth this afternoon. He had been on the field in Philly and got a signed bat from Sal Fasano, whom he called "Sally Cakes". Keith Hernandez pointed out that before the interview he called Howie Rose "Howie Cakes."
He talked about the Mets (he's actually a Yankees fan who roots for both teams), he misunderstood a poorly worded question about whether he was at any Met games in 1986, and he generally seemed to be enjoying his magic carpet ride.
He referred to Vito as "me" several times, including when he said he knew Vito was dead after "my little leather dance." Keith had no idea what he meant, and Ron Darling said "Keith got released after his leather dance."
After that episode David Chase told him he was gone in [episode] 11 or 12.
Then he said "It could be worse, it could have been a bat instead of a pool stick."
He closed with a pretty good Bob Murphy impression.
All in all an enjoyable visit.

I love you, Howie cakes

Big Ben's Statement

"In the past few days, I have gained a new perspective on life. By the grace of God, I am fortunate to be alive, surrounded by loved ones and lifted by the prayers and support of so many. I am sorry for any anxiety and concern my actions have caused others, specifically my family, the Steelers organization, my teammates and our fans.

I recognize that I have a responsibility to safeguard my health in the offseason so I can continue to lead our team effectively. I never meant any harm to others nor to break any laws. I was confident in my ability to ride a motorcycle and simply believed such an accident would not happen to me. If I ever ride again, it certainly will be with a helmet.

My deepest appreciation goes out to the Steelers organization and my teammates for the compassion they have shown me. The physicians and support staff at Mercy Hospital were simply amazing, and I will forever be grateful for their caring treatment.

I want to assure everyone I am committed to a complete and timely recovery. I look forward to being at training camp in Latrobe and to winning football games this season. "

Mets 5 Phillies 4

The Mets first inning prowess on this road trip has been incredible. I've never seen anything like it. 8 straight games they've scored in the first inning, and they won all 8. The Mets set a major league record by winning eigh consecutive games on the road when scoring in the first inning. The 1939 Yankees did it seven consecutive games. The Mets' streak of eight straight games scoring in the first is a team record.

This game started innocently, Reyes getting on (again), Chavez getting him home, then Delgado walking after Beltran made out (it happens). Then David Wright continued his hot hitting, crushing a homer to left for his third homer in three days.

After that it was just left to Trachsel to try to hang on. As usual, he can't stand prosperity, so he gave up two runs in the second, and two runs in the fifth, including two homers to Pat Burrell.

As Ron Darling said, death, taxes and Pat Burrell. This freakin guy kills the Mets. In his career he now has 35 homers against the Mets, tied with Chipper Jones and 2 behind Bonds for the most among active players against the Mets.

But Pat the Bat couldn't help the Phils in the series. Heilman, Sanchez and Wagner chipped in perfect innings, and everything went according to plan and the Mets swept the series and now have a 9 1/2 game lead in the division.

Athletes Behaving Badly II

Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry has had a rough off-season. Yesterday he was arrested for the fourth time since December.
He was ordered Thursday morning to avoid alcohol and all contact with minors after he pleaded not guilty to three counts of unlawful transaction with a minor.
The arrest warrant issued on Wednesday morning claims that Henry provided alcohol to three women all under the age of 21. One of the women is identified as Monica Beamon, 18, and the others are cited as unnamed 15- and 16-year-olds. The criminal affidavit charges that all three women were in Henry's car when he provided them alcohol, with the knowledge that all were under the legal drinking age of 21.
The alleged incident occurred on April 29. On the morning of April 30, Covington Police were called to a local hotel, where Beamon told investigators that Henry had raped her. Based of inconsistencies in her story, and a follow-up investigation, it was determined no rape had taken place and Henry was not charged with any crime at the time. An arrest warrant for Beamon was issued on Wednesday morning, charging her with filing a false police report. As of early Thursday, she had not been located.

Henry was charged with speeding and drunken driving earlier this month. In that incident, Henry registered a blood-alcohol content of 0.092 on a breath test and was clocked at 82 miles per hour in a 65-mph zone, said Sgt. Craig Cvetan, a State Highway Patrol spokesman. Kentucky's legal limit is 0.08.

Henry was charged in January with pulling a pistol on a group of revelers in downtown Orlando. He pleaded not guilty to a charge of carrying a concealed weapon and is set for trial Aug. 21.

He avoided jail time on marijuana charges from a December arrest in Kentucky after pleading guilty and agreeing to enter a drug rehabilitation program.

Athletes Behaving Badly I

Athletics pitcher Esteban Loaiza was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after police clocked his Ferrari going more than 120 mph on a freeway near San Lorenzo.
Loaiza was pulled over at 3:30 a.m. on Wednesday. He was arrested on suspicion of reckless driving and driving under the influence after failing a sobriety test, California Highway Patrol spokesman Mike Wright said Thursday. The 34-year-old pitcher spent the night in jail before being released.

How long does it take the cops to catch up with someone going 120 mph?
Did the cop even bother to ask "do you know why I pulled you over?"
When you get caught going in excess of 120 mph, do you try to play it cool and say "something wrong, officer?"

A Present for Georgia Derek

In his mugshot for his DUI arrest, JJ Redick sports the latest fashion trend for little, white, drunk pussies: the half-up, half-down shirt collar.

write a poem about this, bitch

Life is Good

The Mets have the best record in baseball.
They have won 7 games in a row, all on the road, scoring in the top of the first each time.
They reached 40 wins (now 41) faster than every Mets team except 1986 and 1988.
They lead the Phillies by 8 1/2 games in the standings. That's a bigger lead than the leaders of the 5 other divisions, combined.
That means this is the perfect time to start a new blog.
So please join me at "The Happy Recap" ( to chronicle this Mets season.

Several Paul's Poop readers have complained that too much of this blog's space is devoted to the Mets. For now I will keep posting in both places. Mets fans, do you mind checking two blogs, one for Mets news and one for everything else? If not, then I will eventually stop posting Mets news here, and leave it all to the Happy Recap.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Mets 9 Phillies 3

Another hot start for the Mets. They scored in the first inning for the 7th game in a row. They won all seven of those games. Coincidence?
The fact is, everyone is hitting right now. The first inning was simple, three hits (LoDuca, Delgado and Wright) producing two runs.
The second inning was a little different, Myers imploded after getting the first two outs, eventually walking in a the run. But the bases were only loaded because of some more bad defense by David Bell. He made another error on a grounder by Lo Duca that instead of being the third out, loaded the bases.
The Mets put up 3 more in the 3rd, for the second straight night a big inning was started by a solo homer by Wright. The error by the catcher turned out to be inconsequential, it allowed Milledge to get to second, but he would have scored from first anyway on Reyes' triple. But that shouldn't have been a triple, Abreu should have caught that ball.

Ryan Howard made an idiotic base running blunder to bail out El Duque in the second. Bell hits a deep fly ball with first and second and one out. Beltran makes a great running catch, Howard was halfway, retreated to the bag, saw the throw was going to get by the cutoff man and took off for third. Delgado came across grabbed the throw and Howard got caught in a rundown. He should have been halfway because there was a good chance the ball would drop, but once it was caught he should have retreated and not tried to advance.

The Phillies did tack on 2 in the third off El Duque who didn't have his best stuff tonight, but it's hard to judge a starter who has such a big lead and only pitches three innings.

The bullpen held down the fort after the rain delay. Oliver, Feliciano and Bell, once again allowing Heilman, Sanchez and Wagner to take the day off.

In fact nothing much happened after the rain delay. During the early part of the game when the Mets were scoring all those runs I almost wanted to root for them to make out so they could speed up and make it an official game. I'm glad they were able to get in all 9 innings.

Franco did get another pinch hit, an RBI double, in the 7th. But on that play Lastings Milledge got himself in hot water with Willie Randolph again. Milledge got thrown out at the plate, and Willie lectured him for not scoring on the play, saying he was spectating too much.
Milledge said he peeked twice, to see if the ball was caught, and to seeif the ball would be caught, and if the throw would hit the cutoff man.
"Peeking into right tends to slow me down a little bit," Milledge said.
He should have scored but the bottome line according to Milledge: "Could've. Should've. Didn't. We won the game. So it doesn't matter."

A Magazine Justin Will Hide From Kelly

Tera Patrick is on the cover of the new FHM. She is one of Justin's favorite actresses and one of the most famous women in the most successful business on the internet. One part of her interview may upset Big Ton though:

"People think adult-film stars can do every position all night long. Well, here’s a secret—I totally suck at reverse cowgirl. I wish I could put it in every one of my contracts that I don’t have to do it. It’s way too much work on the legs. And to be honest, I don’t like putting that much effort into sex.”

Styles Make Fights

Mike (Coach is dead) has decided to join the blogosphere. He’ll be providing his boxing analysis at I hope you will enjoy hearing about Miguel Cotto and Joel Calzaghe as Mike complains about all the problems boxing has which will never get fixed.

This is not a picture of Mike, this is Coach.  I stole this from SCZA cuz I like it so much

Flag Day

If you drop the L you will remember that today is Josh’s birthday. Josh has no nickname but he does have a birthday and I ask you to join me in wishing him nothing but the best today.

wedding day
Erin didn't buy him a birthday present, she just let him hump the TV again
no more sexual jokes about Erin
this picture is saved under the filename 2sexybitches, and I think Kate named it
Josh has a louder speaking voice than anyone else in this picture
and the worst smelling farts also

Mets 9 Phillies 7

Not the prettiest game I’ve ever seen. But still a victory.

Tom Glavine did not have his best stuff, but he managed to keep all four home runs to solo shots, enough to keep the team in the game. You really can’t complain about Glavine even though he has had two bad starts in a row now. He can still be the first in the majors to 10 wins because Schilling didn’t win last night either. And no one else has a chance before he does (other than Oscar Villareal). On Sunday, Schilling, Glavine and Kenny Rogers (combined age: 120) will all try for their 10th win. Glavine was first in the majors to 10 wins twice before, but not Mets pitcher has ever done it.

Jose Reyes started off last night’s game with a “Reyes run.” He reached on a bunt, stole second and scored on a single. In all, he reached base 5 times last night, 3 times on walks. He now has 29 walks, 2 more than all of last season, and a .326 OBA. I’d like to see Reyes get his OBA to .350, either by walks or hits. Reyes also made a great hustle play to score from second on a ground ball, but I’ll get into that later.

Beltran and Delgado hit back to back homers in the third to give the Mets a 4-2 lead. David Wright led off the 6th with one, to break the tie. When those three guys are hitting together the Mets are going to be a tough team to beat.

back to back
and belly to belly

The sixth inning began with that homer by Wright, and from there it got worse for the Phillies. Valentin doubled, Endy reached on an error by Howard and Lastings got hit by a pitch. Bases loaded, no one out. Julio Franco pinch hit, and lined one to Utley, Milledge was too far off and it should have been an easy double play. Utley’s throw was too far down the line and Howard couldn’t get there, allowing Milledge to get back to first and Valentin to score. They walked Reyes, LoDuca reached on a hard ground ball that went off Bell to Rollins. Then Beltran hit another one to Bell at third, his throw home was into Milledge, and bounced away. As Fasano was going after the ball, Reyes followed Milledge home and slid in safely before Fasano could get back.

That made the score 9-4, thanks to 3 Phillies errors.

Chad Bradford was the winning pitcher, saving Glavine’s ass in the fifth. He came in with bases loaded and one out and got a popout and a grounder. Darling pointed out that a pop up against Bradford is rare because of his submarine delivery, but he got one at the right time. Bradford has stranded 20 of 21 inherited runners this season. A huge stat for a reliever. Feliciano pitched two scoreless innings and turned the ball over to Heilman in the 8th.

I’ve bashed Heilman several times so far this year. I don’t think he is bad but he is certainly not pitching well. After getting the first out he gave up a single, a double and then a homer to David Dellucci. He walked Rollins and Willie had to yank him.
Because a left was up, he went to Wagner for a 5 out save. He struck out Utley and got Rollins on a strike em out throw em out to end the 8th.
He walked Abreu to lead off the 9th then Wright made a great play on a ball hit by Burrell and turned it into a double play. A fantastic play by Wright in a huge spot. After Howard, singled he struck out Rowand to record his first save against the Phillies.

enter sandman

Mets now have a 7 ½ game lead, the biggest of any division in the majors.

Rollins, Abreu and Rowand all hit their 8th homer for the Phillies last night.

ouch babe

Who Says TV is a Bad Influence on Society?

Enjoy it on TV, but don't wear it to your office

By Cynthia J. Pasquale
The Denver Post

The female members of the self-proclaimed "hot, young cast" of "Conviction," a courtroom drama that recently wrapped up its inaugural season on NBC, sometimes wear skirts as tight as sausage casings and a plunging whisper of chiffon under their suit jackets.

But Assistant District Atty. Leslie Hansen of Colorado is a longtime member of the bar who views the court as a place of reverence. Drawing attention to yourself by dressing provocatively, she says, not only is tacky but also demeans the entire legal process.

And Coroner Jo-anne Richardsonof Frisco, Colo.,says skirts would-n't be practical for someone crawling around the underbelly of a mountain car crash.

And "sexy" won't do. Wearing leather and a cleavage-enhancing top on the job is as plausible as a 10-minute toxicology test. It might happen on "CSI," but not in her office.

These profess-ional women follow the advice of experts who say that if you want people -- of both genders -- to focus on your brains, then you can't dress for distraction.

But many more women these days are ignoring that advice and are baring bosoms in the office.

"Professional women watching television are taking it as a guideline for what to wear to work," says David Wolfe, the creative director of the Doneger Group, fashion analysts and consultants based in New York.

Remember Ally McBeal, a television lawyer famous in the late 1990s who wore short, short skirts? "It wasn't long before women, no matter what their body type, were wearing copies to work," Wolfe says.

"It wasn't the downfall of America, but it's an ongoing problem, and we're still slipping. Women are torn between fashion, which is sexy and provocative, and being a serious professional. It's a tightrope women seem to enjoy walking, especially in high heels."

While fashion designers might vie for some kind of "how-low-can-you-go" award, it's important for women to create their own style, says Jo Farrell of Denver.

For years, she has taught communications and image skills, counseling everyone from business executives to politicians running for office.

Decide the image

"What image do you want to be remembered for? It's not putting yourself out there as a flashing billboard. Unless, of course, you don't have the talent or the brains, so you have to sell sex."

Even "reality" television shows such as Donald Trump's "The Apprentice" play up the notion that sex sells. In a late 2004 episode, two team members, Jenn and Sandy, dressed skimpily to sell 50-cent candy for $5. Another contestant, Ivana, took off her skirt on Wall Street to sell the same candy for $20. It was considered a low point for the show, and working women in general.

It proves the idea of a sexy career woman is a dangerous one, says Peter Glick, a psychology professor at Lawrence University in Wisconsin. He and his class studied how sexily dressed women were perceived.

What they found, not surprisingly, is that women in high-status positions who dressed provocatively were rated as less competent and elicited negative reactions from participants.

The same was not true for women in what was considered a low-status position, such as a receptionist.

"There are three ways in which women are subtyped -- career, homemaker and sex object. What we're seeing in the media is a fusion of career woman and sex object, and that's a real problem," he says.

Undermines image

Initially, there might be benefits to dressing like a sex kitten, but there are hidden costs. "For young women starting out, it's a real temptation [to be sexy]. You get more attention; you might even get hired; but it will only take you so far. Eventually, it undermines perceptions of your competence."

Carly Drum, the managing director of Drum Associates, an executive search firm in New York, agrees risque dress abounds, even on conservative Wall Street.

"I don't know why. Maybe the fashion-focused are more willing to show their risky side with clothing," she says. Still, there's a big difference between flaunting your personality and being professional.

"A beautiful woman came into our office in a beautiful suit. She looked great. But she wasn't wearing a shirt underneath her suit jacket. [Before long] everyone in the office knew she wasn't wearing a shirt," says Drum, who promptly pulled the woman aside.

"She had a great background, but I told her I wouldn't represent her" unless she added a shirt to the ensemble. The woman said she was "very confident" in herself and didn't believe she would or would not get a job because of the way she dressed.

But, says Drum, believing in your abilities is no match for bodacious diversions.

"Or maybe you're not showing cleavage, but lots of skin. It's still not appropriate; it's still distracting and people won't hear what you're saying."

this is what cleavage looks like

Some company cultures -- in fashion, entertainment and other creative industries -- consider wearing trendy clothing necessary. But, Wolfe says, that doesn't mean women should "dress for a night on the town, or even worse, a night on the streets."

Clients and fellow office workers might find some choices offensive.

Important to stand out

In a business such as public relations, it's important to be fashion-forward, says Stephanie Houser, the owner of Launch in Scottsdale, Ariz. "I dress conservatively, but I like to have fun, too, and show my personality. It's important in my business that I stand out."

Her office has very specific guidelines about what's appropriate to wear and when, but the rules don't address cleavage.

Once, Houser wore a V-cut camisole underneath a conservative, brown pinstriped suit for a client meeting. During the discussion, which included another member of her team, the male client remarked that he could see her breasts.

"I was shocked and all three of us were uncomfortable for the rest of the meeting. I've never had any other complaints," she says.

She banished the V-cut cami to the closet, but recently brought it back into the office under the same suit.

"The client is very conservative. And at this point in my career, I feel like I can wear what I want to wear. I don't trust ... sales clerks with advice, but I check with my husband when I'm in doubt" about whether something is appropriate.

Houser dresses very conservatively when she's meeting the complaining client. "We tease about wearing turtlenecks to that site."

Another part of the clothing conundrum, say experts, is that young women don't separate the different goals of attracting men and job success.

Employees are working long hours, and more heavy socializing takes place in the office, says Elizabeth Freedman, owner of a corporate training and consulting firm in Massachusetts.

"The result is you have younger associates (particularly the women) who are trying to multitask -- work and find a date."

That tack can cause a different set of cubicle crises. "Men find you attractive, but you're also a competitor. Sex sells, and men can resent that," says Glick of Lawrence University.

"Women also can be resentful. They don't like it when other women aren't nice. And being flirty works against women, too, because it shows deference and is an act of submission."

Less pressure on men

In other words, women must constantly think about how they present themselves. Men, on the other hand, don't have to worry as much about perceptions. The attributes they are rewarded for in romance and on the job are the same: masculinity, assertiveness and being ambitious.

Women entering the workforce also have limited funds, so they buy sexy things and try to fit them in a business world, says Debra Lindquist, an image consultant with Color Profiles Ltd./The Total Look in Denver.

"They say, `I'm going to be sexy, come hell or high water.' But you can have a feminine cut or fabrication. A teddy spells bedroom . . . it's an invitation . . . you're wearing your bedroom persona."

It's about time for companies to take control, says Donna Flagg, owner of the Krysalis Group, a human resource and management consulting firm in New York.

"A company has to say it's not OK, and then it would be over. But there's this passive/aggressive thing about enforcing a dress code."

Her company recently wrote one for a cosmetic fashion company that included a "no cleavage" rule. "At first, the employees took the idea as a personal affront, but we wrote the policy in a kind of tongue-in-cheek way.

"Companies are killing themselves to manage and control sexual harassment and unwanted advances, but lots of that could be mitigated and defused" if employees had to change the way they dressed.

Bad business

One Denver-area company owner learned the hard way that pushup bras can be bad business.

When Cynthia McKay hired an all-woman work force for Le Gourmet Gift Basket Inc., she specifically allowed her employees to wear what they wanted. She had just escaped from the oppressive atmosphere of a law firm and found that "especially in the summer, the less-dressed were happier, cooler and more productive."

At the time, her company's headquarters was being totally refurbished. "I didn't really think cleavage was an issue, because there was lots of construction and we didn't bring clients to the office."

But when construction workers started bringing her employees coffee and doughnuts, and finding reasons to stay on site, she knew she had a problem.

Then a client visited McKay. "She was greeted at the door by several employees . . . [and] was escorted into my office. She said she was confused: She thought she mistakenly arrived at Hooters."

McKay lost the account ... and the cleavage.

"I gave all the employees a clothing allowance to make up for it. I tell them to dress like their mother-in-law was coming for dinner."

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

As Seen on CNN

The Wall Street Journal recently did a great article on one of the newest viral videos. When you drop Mentos into Diet Coke it makes a cool explosion. There are hundreds of these videos on Youtube and some guys who made the most elaborate one (recreating the fountains at Bellagio) may be part of an ad campaign Mentos is considering. This seemed like a good idea for a story.
Yesterday, in my infinite wisdom I thought it wouldn't make too big of an explosion if we only dropped in a couple Mentos. So me and my trusty PA (remember, every bad idea gets started with someone saying "that's a really good idea") went into the breakroom with a bottle of Diet Coke and a roll of Mentos. I placed the bottle in the sink, dropped in three Mentos and jumped back. The explosion was ridiculous. I was covered in soda. Because we did it in the sink the explosion hit the bottom of the cabinet and went everywhere. The entire breakroom was covered in Diet Coke, about 3/4 of the bottle was expelled. So we cleaned the best we could and tried under better circumstances to recreate it.
We waited for this morning and sent our reporter on the roof to do the experiment. With a poncho. We actually did 3 takes and edited them all together into a really cool video. I hope some of you saw it. The problem as I explained before, the more fun something is, the harder it is to pull off. You wouldn't believe the difficulty we had in getting security open the door for us.
Anyway, everyone wants to know why it works and does it work with other sodas and candies.
From the Journal: "What's the chemistry behind the geyser? San Diego chemist Neal Langerman suggests the answer lies in the higher level of carbon dioxide in diet sodas than other sodas and the porous surface area of a Mentos. Mr. Langerman, the past chairman of the division of chemical health and safety at the American Chemical Society, said similar results wouldn't be achieved with an M&M, for instance, "which is really solid." Diet Coke has more carbon dioxide than Diet Pepsi, he says."
So the best combination is Diet Coke and Mentos. Some others might work, but not as well. By the way, the mess we made in the breakroom yesterday was the most fun I've ever had at work. I strongly recommend doing this yourself in your backyard. Beers, I think Evan and Dylan would love it.

Who Needs Beyonce?

You may remember Destiny's Child before Beyonce took over. It was a girl group with four girls. After songs like "No, No, No, No" and "Bills, Bills, Bills" Beyonce and Kelly Rowland made a power play, kicked two girls out of the group and brought in Michelle Williams. One of those girls grew up to be LeToya Luckett. Her new song "Torn" is awesome and I highly recommend it. It samples from the Stylistics' "You Are Everything."
If that doesn't convince you, here's some visual evidence:

Don't Cry Over Spilled Cocktail Sauce

The other night my parents took us to Legal's Sea Foods for Kate's birthday. Kate and I were seated with our backs to the bar. About five minutes after we sit down a tray of ice (that once housed shrimp) with a dish of cocktail sauce in the middle, fell off the bar. Cocktail sauce was everywhere. Kate went to the bathroom to get it out of her shirt. A waitress came by with club soda and wiped it off Kate's purse. The manager and a couple other people came over to apologize. But we didn't make a big deal out of it. A little while later the girl who knocked over the tray came over to apologize and said "I know I startled you more than anything else." We didn't deem it necessary to tell her, actually you got it all over me.
After dinner, I went in the bathroom to wash my hands when I noticed a couple spots on my shoulders. When I returned to the table we discovered that I too, had been hit by the flying cocktail sauce. How could the waiter not have seen this? All the people who walked behind me and none of them saw the little red spots all over my back? Surely the manager would tell the waiter to take something off our bill. He didn't.
The worst part was, an elderly couple was complaining that the sun was shining right in his eyes and could they lower the blinds. They gave them a free dessert.
If you want something free at a restaurant, complain.

Self-Destructive Athletes for $200, Please Alex

J.J. Redick, a likely first-round pick in this month's NBA draft, was arrested for driving while impaired early Tuesday and was released on $1,000 bond.
According to a police report, Redick was arrested at 1:03 a.m. in Durham, N.C., after the former Duke star made an illegal U-turn to avoid a police checkpoint.
"I regret what happened last night, and want to apologize to my family and the Duke community for the incident," Redick said in a statement.
Redick is scheduled to appear in a Durham court on July 17.
"J.J. knows he made a mistake and regrets it," Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski said in a statement. "He represented the very best in college athletics and exhibited outstanding character at Duke the last four years. He is and will continue to be a credit to the Duke Basketball family. As his friend and his coach, he has my total support."
Redick's agent, Arn Tellem, added: "J.J. is an outsanding student athlete of the highest character. He is an exemplary role model and a credit to his family and the entire Duke community. This is nothing more than an isolated incident. Everyone who has come into contact with J.J. as a student and an athlete knows the quality person he is and will continue to be."

Can't post about JJ Redick without this pic

Monday, June 12, 2006

Roethlisberger Update

“According to a police source, Roethlisberger suffered a broken jaw, broke his left sinus cavity, suffered a 9-inch laceration to the back of his head, lost many teeth and has severe injuries to his knees from hitting the pavement. A plastic surgeon has been called in, the source said.”)

If I Were a Rapper...

The other day I heard Ice Cube on the radio talking about how he had to fire his bus driver because he was drinking on the job. Angie Martinez asked if the bus driver was a childhood friend. He said no, that he had very few friends on his payroll, only the ones "that got sense." Since all of my friends ain't got no damn sense, I'm going to give most of you a job, anyway.

If I were a rapper...

The Concierge would be Business manager
As crazy as he is, no one is better at organizing the small details and foreseeing problems that no one else would predict. He's the guy that always remembers to bring toilet paper on a camping trip.

jusTON would be Technical coordinator
He's already the technical coordinator for this blog so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to add lights, pyrotechnics and sound to his duties.

SCZA would be DJ
He's the DJ, I'm the rapper. He gets this job on experience alone. I never liked Faegan's but if you did, and wanted to hear Sweet Caroline at 1:30 and thought "New York, New York" was a great way to cap off an evening, then the SCZA is your man.

Mrs. Poop would be Video Ho
A funny video ho.

Josh - Hype man
If I ever needed someone to implore a crowd to get "get on your mutha fuckin feet" or "put your hands together" no one screams louder than Josh.

Jeff - Backup singer
Every rap concert has some unknown guy who hangs out on stage and shouts into the microphone, important phrases like "yeah" and "oh yeah." But mostly this guy has to dance around like a fool, and if you saw Jeff's performance of La Bamba you'd know how well-suited he is for this job.

TallSkott - Tour bus driver
He was my official chaffeur for about 5 years at the end of high school and into college. We even evaded a pinch for speeding thanks to his faux nervousness.

Bill - Backup dancer
He's a little less flexible and a little less willing than he was in his younger days, but the way he moves, without splitting his pants, incredible. And if you've never seen Bill do the Harlem shake shake-it, well, then you haven't lived.

Big Ben Hurt

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been in a motorcycle accident in Pittsburgh this morning.

Witnesses are telling authorities that the player's motorcycle collided with a car near a downtown intersection and that Roethlisberger's head hit the windshield and was bleeding.

Roethlisberger has said in the past that he prefers not to wear a helmet when riding.

One witness told KDKA television that Roethlisberger was conscious but appeared disoriented before he was taken from the scene to Mercy Hospital. A Steelers spokesman is at the hospital and confirmed Roethlisberger is being treated there, but wouldn't provide additional details.

The Grimsley Details

I'm very late getting to the Jason Grimsley story so I am going to try to provide a unique angle on it, by reading the 23 page document and commenting.

Most of you know the basics: Federal agents searched the house of Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Jason Grimsley. The feds did not say what they found but it is reported that Grimsley had two Human Growth Hormone "kits" delivered to his house. Originally, he agreed to talk to Feds, and named names, but stopped short of wearing a wire.

On to the affidavit :
Grimsley lives at 10792 East Fanfol Lane in Scottsdale, in a house Zestimated to be worth $1.48m.

Special Agent Jeff Novitzky (no relation to Dirk) was also in charge of the BALCO investigation.

The two kits of HGH were delivered on April 19th, by the Postal Service.

The Feds came to his house that day and he agreed to cooperate in exchange for them not searching his house and alarming his family and neighbors.

An HGH kits is 7 vials of powder HGH and 7 vials of sterile water. They need to be mixed together in order to administer the drug.

Each kit cost $1600.

Grimsley said he used steroids, HGH and amphetamines, starting in 2000 after his shoulder surgery, to help him recover.

Since MLB began testing he's only used HGH, no steroids. But he did a fail a drug test in 2003.

Detailed what we have known since "Ball Four" about amphetamines. Baseball players called them "beans" or "greenies." "They work." "Everybody had greenies. That's like aspirin." Every clubhouse has "leaded" and "unleaded" coffee pots, with and without amphetamines.

Latin players are the steroids suppliers. Not surprising since the laws are more lax in those countries, it makes sense that they would be the suppliers.

Grimsley outed several players, and former teammates and one guy as having the worst back acne he's ever seen. Unfortunately, those names have been redacted. They may be leaked eventually but until then we won't know for sure.

The affidavit says nothing about the Feds asking him to wear a wire, or Barry Bonds, as his lawyer alleges. Grimsley also denies having given names of players to the Feds.

The Diamondbacks since released Grimsley (at his request) and don't want to pay him the remaining $825,000 left on his contract.

Bush Loves Soccer

This morning at 9am the President called the United States Soccer team to wish them good luck in their upcoming match. Dana Perino, White House spokeswoman, said "The President wanted to call early so as not to interrupt their pre-game warm up." She added, the President let them know the whole country is pulling for them. "He urged them to play hard, keep their heads up and he can't wait to see their win." she said.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Fair Lawn Street Fair

Sausage & Peppers hero: $6.50
20 oz Coke: $2
Pickle on a stick: $1
Dippin Dots: $5
Funnel cake: $4
Fried Oreos: $4
Lemonade: $3
Matching his and her bellyaches: $26.50
Spending a nice day in the sun with my wife: Priceless

In case you were wondering, Kate had half the hero and half the funnel cake and I ate everything else.

Also, we did try to bring Diesel but he got really spooked by all the people and the loud music. We had to take him home and go back without him.

The pickle on the stick was so good I went back and bought a whole pint of half sours for $3.50.

Mets 15 Diamondbacks 2

A great game to end a great series. I don't know what it is about the Diamondbacks and the desert but I wish the Mets played there more often. They have now won 10 in a row at the old BOB (now Chase Field). After outscoring Arizone 39-7 in a four game series last year, this year the Mets won this series by a score of 37-9.

The 15 runs meant a lot of run support for Pedro. I do agree with Willie's move to take Pedro out after 5 innings with a 13-1 lead. Oliver, Feliciano and Bell combined to pitch the last four innings. That gives Heilman, Sanchez and Wagner three days rest before the big series with Philadelphia.

There really isn't much to say about the offense. Everyone is hitting now.

Reyes had no hits yesterday but he drew 3 walks.

Chavez is a capable fill-in for Floyd, he scored 4 times.

If J-Mac were the Mets announcer he would definitely say that Beltran is "hot as a pistol. On this road trip he hit 14-29 with 3 HR, 12 RBI, 13 runs and 5 steals.

Delgado also seems to be waking up, with 3 homers and 11 RBI over the week.

Willie continues to pull the right strings with Woodward and Valentin. Both had big hits in this series, doubles down the line.

Castro as always is fantastic. He made a great block on a play at the plate. Chavez made an awesome through but Castro folded his leg back so Counsell slid into his shin guard and never reached the plate.

You have to think that the Diamondbacks have been affected by the Jason Grimsley fiasco. They've lost all 6 games they played since then.

Let's hope the team can keep up this hot hitting, and continue to get good pitching from the Cubans.

finally some run support
textbook plate blocking
the first of 15

Another Birthday

This one goes out to Mike, brother of The Concierge. Happy Birthday Mike.

shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!

Larry Johnson

Some of you may have seen the work of cartoonist Larry Johnson on's Daily Quickie. Where does Johnson get his inspiration? Apparently the same place I do, Google Image Search.

First, check out this recent Sports Illustrated cover:

pooh holes

Now look at a recent drawing of Pujols done by Larry Johnson:

Pooh holes copied

What if you did a Google Images Search for "Diesel Engine", you'd get this picture:


And now Larry Johnson's version:

Shaq Diesel

Now, I don't believe there is anything illegal about artists' recreation or artists' renderings but it just seems a little fishy to me. There are several more, egregious examples here.