Thursday, January 25, 2007

What Do You Give Me For? Reche Caldwell and Jennifer Wilbanks

The eyes have it

What Should I Do?

I have a two hour flight to Columbus Friday and a return trip on Sunday.
I am not a good flyer. I am not afraid of crashing I just hate waiting in the terminal, and on the plane, and sitting there doing nothing.
Should I read a book? Next up on Paulo's Book Club is "The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game" by Michael Lewis.
If I bring my portable DVD player, I can watch Seinfeld Season 4 and/or Season 5.
Read and expand my mind, or watch the same shows I've seens dozens of times and enjoy myself.

Delicious Dollar

The good folks at McDonald's have added the 6-piece chicken mcnuggets to the dollar menu for this week only. Monday night we went there for dinner and ordered 5 6-pieces.
Tuesday I entered Penn Station from the 7th Avenue side so I picked up a 6-piece for a $1.08. A delicious midday snack which I had eaten before I got to my train. Plus, the Penn Station Mickey D's is so busy, the nuggets were piping hot.
I went in from 7th Avenue again yesterday but I had just met my dad for lunch at Ben's so I didn't.
I recommend this affordable and delicious food opportunity to you before McDonald's closes the door on it on Sunday.


Mets Extend Willie

A couple days after Mike and the Mad Dog ripped the Mets for paying Willie Randolph less than Eric Wedge, the Mets tore up his deal and gave him a new one for 2007 plus two more years.
He'll get $1.4 million in 2007 (twice what he was due to get in 2007), $2 million in 2008 and $2.25 in 2009 with a $2.5 million club option for 2010.

Brandy Kills a Woman

Singer Brandy was involved in a fatal four car accident last month.
It started when she rear ended another car, the driver of that car recently died.
Brandy has not been charged or arrested but all the cars were impounded and are being investigated to see who is at fault.
No alcohol or drugs were involved, but police did say "barring any mechanical difficulties on Brandy's part ... then there's the very high probability that she is the party most at fault or the contributing party."

Homo Hater

Grey’s Anatomy actor Isaiah Washington is headed to rehab to make him like gay people. He was involved in a fight on the set with Dr. McDreamy (I think) after Washington called one of the show’s other actors, TR Knight “a faggot.”
Everything had seemingly died down until Washington was asked about it and said “I never called TR a faggot.”
Now ABC is making him go to rehab. Not alcohol rehab; or drug rehab; or even rehab for a sex addiction. He is going to rehab to figure out why he made such comments.
He hates gay people.
I wonder what the rehab is going to be. He’s going to have to watch Brokeback Mountain on loop.

I never called that homo a faggot

Loud Soap Star

General Hospital, one soap opera not watched by Pizza Parlor Derek is going to have an explosion / hostage takeover storyline starting Friday and continuing for a couple of weeks.
And now that he has time on his hands Stephen A. Smith will make an appearance in the February 2nd episode as a reporter covering the hostage situation as it unfolds. He has been a fan of "General Hospital" since he was five. He says, "It was a wonderful experience all-around. Meeting many of the actors on the show was very exciting and a dream come true. Let this be a lesson to all the ladies out there: There are men who love the soaps."

THERE ARE HOSTAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Last Year on the Poop

Remembering a great weekend at Billy's

The famous Dwight Shrute picture that Mrs. Poop loves

Actually Kinda Liked It

Some girl created a response to "Dick in a Box", posted in YouTube, and I enjoyed it.
The chick is pretty good looking and some of the lines are funny especially because she does a good job replicating the faux earnestness of the original.

Song of the Week

Icebox - Omarion

Mutumbo at the State of the Union

As soon as the applause died down he asked "Who Wants to Sex Dikembe?"

just don't call him old

During the speech Bush said of Mutumbo:
"When America serves others, we show the strength and generosity of our country.
The greatest strength we have is the heroic kindness, courage and self-sacrifice of the American people. You see this spirit often if you know where to look — and tonight we need only look above to the gallery.
Dikembe Mutombo grew up in Africa, amid great poverty and disease. He came to Georgetown University on a scholarship to study medicine, but coach John Thompson took a look at Dikembe and had a different idea. Dikembe became a star in the NBA and a citizen of the United States. But he never forgot the land of his birth — or the duty to share his blessings with others. He built a brand-new hospital in his old hometown.
A friend has said of this good-hearted man: 'Mutombo believes that God has given him this opportunity to do great things.' And we're proud to call this son of the Congo a citizen of the United States of America."

Nice Day for a White T-shirt

For Saturday night's Ohio State - Michigan State basketball game, Ohio State is asking all fans attending the game to White Out the Value City Arena (VCA).
That means we cannot wear our Ohio State red t-shirts. Don't understand why they didn't do a red gimmick, but oh well.
Pizza Parlor Derek and I are going to be there, and I for one, will be wearing white. I bought a cheap OSU t-shirt yesterday.

Artest's New Do

I kind of like his old one

Multi-blog Experience

This weekend marks a major event in the short history of blogs. Pizza Parlor Derek and I are taking a trip to Columbus to visit Pizza Parlor Daren and Pizza Parlor Greg Oden.
The most exciting part of this is that you the reader will be able to see the events through both of our eyes. We will each blog about the weekend without discussing our thoughts, opinions, reactions with each other beforehand.

This experiment is going to end up something like this old beer commercial:

Male voice: Last night was great.
Female voice: Worst date of my life.
Male: I think she really liked me.
Female: I couldn’t stand him.
Male: I really listened to what she had to say.
Female: He would not shut up.
Female: It doesn’t matter, I looked horrible anyway.
Male: What a knockout.

The same thing happened more than 10 years ago when Damino and Kari Meyer went out on a date.

This is what you are likely to read:
The Poop: I tried really hard to be nice to Daren’s girlfriend, I think she liked me.
The Parlor: Future Lynch hated Paul.
The Poop: We are going to try to go back in the fall for a football game.
The Parlor: Daren says I’m welcome to come back anytime as long as I don’t bring Paul.
The Poop: I made a really funny crack about Derek’s weight. But I think he took it well.
The Parlor: Paul made a dick comment about me being fat and really hurt my feelings.
The Poop: My wingman skills helped Derek hook up with a decent looking college girl.
The Parlor: If not for Paul I could have banged a hot college girl, and her bi-curious roommate.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Better Pick Than Assante Samuel's

As an unashamed nose-picker I can only fault Patriots' owner Bob Kraft for his timing. Maybe there was a lot of dry air in the luxury box and he felt the need to clean house.

So Happy Together

Melo and AI won their first game together 115-98 over Memphis. Melo had 28 points and AI had 23. Melo had 6 assists and AI had 7 and Steve Blake had 12. AI and Melo hooked up on a couple nice alley oops.

Ciara and LaLa were on hand, enjoying the game.

As Seen on CNN

A judge has denied unemployment benefits to a woman who was fired from her job for keeping a journal detailing her efforts to avoid work.
Emmalee (pronounced Emily) Bauer was employed by the Sheraton hotel company as a sales coordinator. While on the job, she kept a handwritten journal. A supervisor told her to stop writing on company time, but instead, Bauer wrote her journal, all 300 single-spaced pages, on her work computer.
In the journal, portions of which were introduced during a recent hearing regarding Bauer's request for unemployment, Bauer describes her efforts to avoid work.
"This typing thing seems to be doing the trick," she wrote. "It just looks like I am hard at work on something very important."
Bauer also wrote: "I am only here for the money and, lately, for the printer access. I haven't really accomplished anything in a long while ... and I am still getting paid more than I ever have at a job before, with less to do than I have ever had before. It's actually quite nice when I think of it that way. I can shop online, play games and read message boards and still get paid for it."
In her journal she speculated it could someday be published.

2000th Post

You are reading the 2000th post in the history of Paul's Poop.
When I started this 14 months ago I had no idea how much time and effort it would require. But for the most part I don't find it tedious and it doesn't intrude in my life.
In fact it's enhanced my life by allowing me to keep in touch with people I might not have otherwise. And to talk about issues that I definitely wouldn't have otherwise.
It's also brought some new people and some old people back into the fold.
But of all the reasons I like it the most compelling is that it serves as a diary for my life and all the things I've done.

Gotta Support the Team

Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl painted his chest to support the Lady Vols against #1 Duke.
He sat in the student section and with several of his players painted their bodies orange with the letters to spell Go Vols on their chests. Pearl was the "V".
Coach Pat Summitt appeared to acknowledge him and gestured enthusiastically at Pearl.
Duke won the game 74-70.

This is just the latest in a long line of funny Bruce Pearl posts.
There was the time he wore an orange sportscoat.
And the time he ripped off the orange sportscoat, the shirt and posed like a wrestler.
And of course the time he sweated through his jacket (not orange).

Monday, January 22, 2007

What Happened to Caldwell?

I'm still puzzled by play of Reche Caldwell who dropped two wide open passes, one in the endzone and one when he was completely uncovered.

What was wrong with him?
a) fixed the game
b) coked up (but apparently his eyes are always like that)
c) just got nervous

Thoughts on Your Thoughts

In the Your Thoughts post five of you chimed in with picks.
Scza, Billa and the Master all had Colts and Saints.
Beers (VOR) and I both had Patriots and Bears.
Only Josh "The Gambler" Hughes, got both games right.

The Conference Championships are Poop

Chicago Bears 39 New Orleans Saints 14
Chicago dominated the game early forcing a bunch of fumbles (recovering 2 of them) but they were unable to capitalize as they should have with touchdowns and that let the Saints back into the game. They got to within two on a late first half touchdown and an 88 yard catch by Reggie Bush on the worst thrown ball in playoff history. But when they got the ball back with the chance to take the lead, the Bears pressure forced Brees to ground the ball (penalty in the endzone) resulting in a safety. To be fair, Brees didn't have a lot of choices, he couldn't have scrambled, he didn't want to fire the ball over the middle and he couldn't take the sack.
But that safety changed the whole game around and then Grossman and Berrian hooked up on a great touchdown, followed by another turnover which the Bears converted into a touchdown to seal the victory.

Indianapolis Colts 38 New England Patriots 34
A classic! Peyton Manning's coming out party. After the Assante Samuel interception I thought he was going to curl up and die. But he didn't. He fought back and got a key field goal at the end of the first half.
Then in the second half the Colts were the better team. They scored four touchdowns in the second half 3 by slow white guys (Jeff Saturday, Dan Klecko and Peyton Manning).
The Patriots couldn't stop them, Manning was doing everything he wanted.
But maybe the biggest play of the game (other than the Reche Caldwell drops), was the 12 men on the field penalty on the Patriots, with 3:22 to go and a 3 point lead. Who knows what might have happened, what plays would have been called, but if New England gets a first down there, they win the game.
If Manning deserves all the blame when they lose, he deserves a healthy portion of the credit for this one. He played like a man, and how has a chance to shake his choker label for good.


With every Syracuse team, except for the 2003 version, they start to play, get your hopes up, then play well below expectations and lose to a team they should crush. Most of you probably didn't see the game since the end coincided with the beginning of the NFC Championship game. Except for Mike, because Stacey hates football they went to the SU game at the Garden and missed out on football. But my brother-in-law has two TVs available so I was able to watch the Bears-Saints and be witness to another SU collapse.

The game started horribly as Anthony Mason Jr. went off and St. John’s hit 3 3s and took a 13-2 lead. Then the Red Storm went in the tank and made only 4 of their next 27 shots. But SU was almost as bad; at one point the teams missed 7 straight shots, meaning 2 minutes of no scoring at all.
But SU picked it up and took a lead right before the half, but as always they allowed a late basket (almost 2, though the second shot was gangsta swatted by Watkins) and only had a one point lead.
The Orange were flat again to start the second half and after Watkins had a dick up his ass, St. John’s got an easy dunk to take an 8 point lead.
Then Devendorf took over. He scored 16 of SU’s next 19 points culminating in a 3-pointer that gave SU at 55-53 lead (a 19-9 run).
But then Anthony Mason hit another 3 (which Nichols answered) but Avery Patterson hit a 3 and was fouled on some very lazy defense by Devendorf.
After another 3 by Patterson (7 points in 30 seconds) SU trailed by 4 with 55 seconds and St. John’s had the ball. I don’t disagree with not fouling but they played great D, forced a bad shot and no one pursued the rebound. Then the Storm passed it around for 16 seconds and SU couldn’t catch them to commit a foul. The last 55 seconds ran off without SU touching the ball.

Derek's Wildest Dream a Nightmare?

New York Times article on the dangers of porn in HD. I'm posting the entire text because the Times has a subscription website. If you don't want to read about porn, or you are my mother-in-law, please scroll past this post.

The XXX industry has gotten too graphic, even for its own tastes.

Pornography has long helped drive the adoption of new technology, from the printing press to the videocassette. Now pornographic movie studios are staying ahead of the curve by releasing high-definition DVDs.

They have discovered that the technology is sometimes not so sexy. The high-definition format is accentuating imperfections in the actors — from a little extra cellulite on a leg to wrinkles around the eyes.

Hollywood is dealing with similar problems, but they are more pronounced for pornographers, who rely on close-ups and who, because of their quick adoption of the new format, are facing the issue more immediately than mainstream entertainment companies.

Producers are taking steps to hide the imperfections. Some shots are lit differently, while some actors simply are not shot at certain angles, or are getting cosmetic surgery, or seeking expert grooming.

“The biggest problem is razor burn,” said Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director.

obviously shaves her armpits

Ms. Daniels is also a skeptic. “I’m not 100 percent sure why anyone would want to see their porn in HD,” she said.

The technology’s advocates counter that high definition, by making things clearer and crisper, lets viewers feel as close to the action as possible.

“It puts you in the room,” said the director known as Robby D., whose films include “Sexual Freak.”

The pornographers’ progress with HD may also be somewhat slowed by Sony, one of the main backers of the Blu-ray high-definition disc format. Sony said last week that, in keeping with a longstanding policy, it would not mass-produce pornographic videos on behalf of the movie makers.

The decision has forced pornographers to use the competing HD-DVD format or, in some cases, to find companies other than Sony that can manufacture copies of Blu-ray movies.

The movie makers assert that it is shortsighted of Sony to snub them, given how pornography helps technologies spread.

“When you’re introducing a new format, it would seem like the adult guys can help,” said Steven Hirsch, co-chief executive officer of Vivid Entertainment Group, a big player in the industry. Mr. Hirsch added that high definition, regardless of format, “is the future.”

Despite the challenges, pornographers — who distributed some 7,000 new movies on DVD last year and sold discs worth $3.6 billion in the United States — are rapidly moving to high-definition.

One major company, Digital Playground, plans to release its first four HD-DVD titles this month, and plans four new ones each month. In March, Vivid plans to release “Debbie Does Dallas ... Again,” its first feature for both HD-DVD and Blu-ray.

Vivid, like Digital Playground, has been shooting with high-definition cameras for two years to build up a catalog of high-definition movies. Both studios have released the movies in standard definition but plan to make the high-definition versions available as compatible disc players and televisions become more popular.

The studios said their experience using the technology gives them an advantage in understanding how to cope with the mixed blessing of hypercrisp images. Their techniques include using postproduction tools that let them digitally soften the actors’ skin tone.

“It takes away the blemishes and the pits and harshness and makes it look like they have baby skin,” said the director known as Joone, who made “Pirates,” one of the industry’s top-selling videos. It will be available this month in high-definition.

Joone does not use a last name, but he does use a number of techniques to keep his films blemish-free. They include giving out lifestyle tips.

“I tell the girls to work out more, cut down on the carbs, hit the treadmill,” he said.

Within the industry, the issue seems to have created a difference in perspective that cuts roughly along gender lines. Some male actors have begun using makeup to mitigate wrinkles or facial flaws, but generally they, and the male directors, are less worried about high-definition’s glare and more enamored of the technology.

Ms. Daniels said that attitude was just so typical of men.

“Men are all about outdoing each other, being up with the times, being cool, having the latest technology,” she said. “They’re willing to sacrifice our vanity and imperfections to beat each other” to high-definition, she said.

Other female actors say they generally like working with high-definition — except for the cosmetic-surgery part.

Jesse Jane, one of the industry’s biggest stars, plans to go under the knife next month to deal with one side effect of high-definition. The images are so clear that Ms. Jane’s breast implants, from an operation six years ago, can be seen bulging oddly on screen.

“I’m having my breasts redone because of HD,” she said.

The stretch marks on Ms. Jane from seven years ago when she gave birth to her son are also more apparent. But she deals with those blemishes in a simpler way: by liberal use of tanning spray.

Still, Ms. Jane likes the technology, as does her close friend Kirsten Price, 25, who appeared in “Manhunters” and “Just Like That.”

“HD is great because people want to see how people really look,” Ms. Price said. “People just want to see what’s real.”

Ms. Price is allowing them to do so, mostly. She had laser treatments to diminish tiny purple veins on her thighs that weren’t visible to viewers before.

“You can see things you cannot see with the naked eye. You see skin blemishes; you see cottage cheese,” said Robbie D. “But some cellulite is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s kind of sexy.”

The technology makes the experience more intimate, he said. “People look to adult movies for personal contact, and yet they’re still not getting it. HD lets them see a little bit more of the girl.”

That’s not necessarily good, said Savanna Samson, an actress who last December directed her first movie, “Any Way You Want Me.” During a scene in which she played a desperate housewife, she ran into a problem: the high-definition camera revealed she had a tiny ill-placed pimple.

“We kept stopping and trying to hide it. We put on makeup and powder, but there was no way,” Ms. Samson said. Finally, they tried another approach: “We just changed positions,” she said.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

If Reche Caldwell Wrote This Blog

There would be a post called "I'm a douche." He dropped two of the easiest passes of his life. And although a lot of things happened after those two plays, they were huge nails in the coffin of the Patriots dynasty which may very well have just died.

FDU Furious

Last night Mrs. Poop and I went to eat at On The Border because it was the only place where the wait was less than an hour. Anyway, they seated us in this backroom and about half an hour later a party comes into this backroom. They are expecting to have the whole room, but we are still eating...right in the middle of their group.
They were being so loud and obnoxious, moving tables, yelling, complaining.
Then we realized they were the Farleigh Dickinson ladies bowling team (and their parents).
We were FDU Furious.