Saturday, July 15, 2006

That's Poker! II

Just played another 90 person free roll (fake money).
Early in the tournament I got low on chips and quadrupled up with ace king.
Then I got nothing to play the rest of the time. The blinds were 200/400 and I only had 2,800 left. I went all in pre-flop with pocket 8s. Nothing on the board scared me. Big stack turned over pocket aces.
I finished 15th.

That's Poker!

So I just played my first online tournament (for fake money) on Full Tilt. 90 people, starting with 1,500 chips. I played so tight, I entered about 2 of the first 25 pots. First one was 9-5 from the big blind. Flopped two pair and got put all in and doubled up. Then I pushed everyone out with pocket jacks. I took a huge hit later betting pocket queens, when a king came on the turn.
So 28 people were left, my chip stack was 2,400, less than average but third at my table. I played a little suited connector, 7-6 diamonds. Flop is k-q-5 all diamonds. I bet 300, get called. Turn is another king, I bet 800, get called, but I'm actually hoping my opponent has another king. Until a 5 comes on the river, I bet 100, he puts me all in for my last 1,110, I call and he shows a third king.
That's poker.

Friday, July 14, 2006

I Pity Those Fools in New Orleans

Mr. T is getting rid of his gold chains because it just didn't feel right after witnessing the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina.
"As a spiritual man, I felt it would be a sin against my God for me to wear all that gold again because I spent a lot of time with the less fortunate.
"I saw some, I call it 'sorry celebrities.' They'll go down there and hook up with the people to take a photo-op. I said, `How disgusting.' If you're not going to go down there with a check and a hammer and a nail to help the people, don't go down there."
"Yes, I am qualified to beat people up. But I am pretty intelligent," he said. "That's what throws people off. If you've been through something, that gives you an authority that you can speak on certain things. That's why people relate to me. I pull no punches."

Thanks for the Compliment

From the New York Times:

The Taming of the Slur
WHISPERS follow her like so many eyes. She is the one who will go home with you, the sure bet, the kind of girl you can lie down with and then walk all over. She is ogled, envied and often ostracized. She is the slut.

The word, which originated in the Middle Ages, has emerged from a schoolyard barb to become commonplace in popular culture, marketing and casual conversation. In his duet with the rapper Eminem, Nate Dogg describes his hunt for “a big old slut” in the single “Shake That.” The ample-bosomed puppet in the Broadway musical “Avenue Q” is called Lucy the Slut.

Novelty shops and Web sites sell Slut lip balm, bubble bath, soap and lotion. A cocktail is known as the Red-Headed Slut. A teenager on MTV’s “Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County” demanded that a rival admit she was a slut. (She did.)

“Slut’’ is tossed around so often and so casually that many teenagers use it affectionately and in jest among their friends, even incorporating it into their instant messenger screen names.

Like “queer” and “pimp” before it, the word slut seems to be moving away from its meaning as a slur. Or is it?

“It’s definitely a term of familiarity with teens,” said Karell Roxas, a senior editor at, a Web site that addresses issues that affect teenagers. “They’ll say ‘Hi, slut!’ the way my generation would say ‘Hi, chick!’ or ‘Hi, dawg!’ ”

Even among adults, the word is used to demonstrate voraciousness: “coffee slut,” “TV slut.”

“Today, ‘slut,’ even ‘ho’ — girls use it in a fun way, a positive way,” said Atoosa Rubenstein, the editor in chief of Seventeen magazine, adding that a phrase such as “you little slut” has become a way for girlfriends to bust each other’s chops.

Beyond the word itself, cultivating an exhibitionistic, slutty appearance — donning the trappings of promiscuity as opposed to actually being promiscuous — has been a growing influence on fashion and popular culture for a decade.

Women wear T-shirts with provocative slogans. Stripping and pole dancing is an au courant way to exercise. Paris Hilton is called an “American cultural icon” on Sephora .com, where she sells $49 perfume.

Ariel Levy, the author of “Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture,” said a girl in California told her that she and her friends compete to see who can look “the skankiest.” Ms. Levy told the girl that when she was in high school, girls wanted to be known as “the prettiest” or “the most popular.”

“How did you get the guys?,” the girl replied. “Charm?”

Given all of the slut-posturing, one may be inclined to think that society’s attitudes about women and promiscuity have changed. But it’s not entirely so, say authors who have studied popular culture. An entrenched sexual double standard is not easily uprooted. A promiscuous single man is lauded for being a player or a stud, but a woman who sleeps around rarely is.

Still, “slut’’ stings much more for girls than for women. Teenage girls get the cultural message that they should look provocative. Their social circles are small, so everyone knows who is doing what with whom. And those who do acquire the slut label have to face up to it daily in school and endure snickers about the very thing girls at that age are most embarrassed about — their sexuality.

“All of our pop icons look like porn stars,” Ms. Rubenstein said. “However they’re all virgins, quote unquote,” she said, referring to Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears. “That’s a very complex message to send to girls.”

For junior high and high school girls, said Leora Tanenbaum, the author of “Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation,” being labeled a slut is still painful and humiliating, despite pop culture’s semi-embrace of the term. Ms. Roxas of said teenagers often inquire about it.

They ask, Ms. Roxas said, questions like: “I’ve acquired the reputation of being a slut, how do I get around it?” or “If I have a boyfriend and I perform a certain action, does that make me a slut?” (Ms. Levy said that even the girl who competed to dress “the skankiest” made it clear that having sex with someone who is not a boyfriend is unacceptable behavior.)

A slut, according to the primary definition in the Oxford English Dictionary, is “a woman of dirty, slovenly, or untidy habits or appearance; a foul slattern.” The second entry defines a slut as “a woman of a low or loose character; a bold or impudent girl; a hussy, jade.” For decades, the second definition has reigned.

Ms. Tanenbaum, who interviewed more than 100 women between the ages of 14 and 66 who had been pigeonholed as sluts, found that the label can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to greater promiscuity. But, she said, it can also act as a brake, leading a woman to shut down sexually. As for the liberal use of the word today, “It’s still too hurtful,” she said.

There is no way to know if more women are being saddled with the dubious distinction now than in the past. What seems to be true, at least anecdotally, is that it is primarily girls who are pinning the label on other girls. They do it, Ms. Tanenbaum said, because of their confusion over the contradictory messages they receive about their sexuality and how to conduct themselves.

“The way they deal with their anxiety is pointing their fingers at other girls,” Ms. Tanenbaum said, adding that more than 90 percent of the people she interviewed were given their slut label by other girls.

Often, she said, the label has nothing to do with sexual behavior. Among teenagers, the word has been attached to girls whose bodies develop more quickly than those of their peers, Ms. Tanenbaum said, as well as to pretty girls, girls who are somehow different, even girls who have been raped.

“Girls wouldn’t feel the need to do this if we had one sexual standard,” she said. “It’s because we have the double standard that this phenomenon occurs.”

Whether they condone promiscuity or not, adults, who have an easier time than teenagers keeping their sex lives private, do not seem to feel as anxious about being labeled sluts. Nor are they as prone to calling others names.

“Once you get into your 20’s and 30’s, you just have better things to do,” said Susan Schulz, the editor in chief of CosmoGirl! magazine. “Everybody has that one friend who’s kind of loose and takes somebody home.”

But as Carrie Bradshaw might type on her laptop: Is there such a thing as going too far any more? Does society allow single women more sexual partners than it once did, before they get a “bad reputation?”

Jamie Breitman, 27, of Manhattan, has a friend she characterizes as promiscuous, a woman who, when they were in a bar in Spain, ended up singing on a stage and eventually making out with the bass player.

“That’s just the way that she is and we just love her for that,” Ms. Breitman said. “It makes her more interesting and fun and she always has good stories.”

Indeed, many women admired the fictional libertine Samantha Jones on “Sex and the City’’ because she had all of those qualities, not to mention confidence and an unapologetic attitude about satisfying her desires. Enjoyment was always mutual.

But viewers often commented that such a woman could not exist in real life. That attitude, Ms. Levy said, “goes to show we can’t accept a woman who’s promiscuous because she wants to be.”

Some men, especially, seem to have strong feelings about the matter.

“When I think of the word slut,” wrote Don Reisinger, a student doing accounting and law work in Albany, in an e-mail message, “I think of a woman who has been around the block more times than my dad’s Chevy. I might date a slut, but I certainly wouldn’t marry one.”

For that reason, perhaps, women sometimes feel pressured to downplay their sexual experience. “Women still have a script for their future that involves marriage, that involves children,” said Dr. Susan Freeman, an assistant professor of women’s studies at Minnesota State University, Mankato. “It governs a lot of choices they make, how sexually active they can be, what risks they are willing to take in terms of alienating a possible marriage partner.”

There seems to be a mysterious line between being experienced and being a slut, and no one can put a number on it. According to a government report released last year (“Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures”), men age 30 to 44 have had a median of six to eight sexual partners in their lifetimes. The women’s median was about four.

Many women steer clear of the numbers conversation entirely, but as was pointed out several times in interviews, it would be more unusual for them to be virgins.

The fact is, Ms. Levy said, “I think there are a lot of women who want to have a lot of sex because they enjoy it.”

Good Use of 911

Last month, Oregon police responded to a noise complaint by the neighbors of Lorna Dudash. The cops knocked on her door, then left.
Dudash immediately called 911 and told the dispatcher she wanted the cops to come back. "He's the cutest cop I've seen in a long time. I just want to know his name. Heck, it doesn't come very often a good man comes to your doorstep."
After listening to some more, followed by a bit of silence, the dispatcher asked again why Dudash needed the deputy to return.
"Honey, I'm just going to be honest with you, OK? I just thought he was cute. I'm 45 years old and I'd just like to meet him again, but I don't know how to go about doing that without calling 911," she said.
"I know this is absolutely not in any way, shape or form an emergency, but if you would give the officer my phone number and ask him to come back, would you mind?"
The deputy returned, verified that there was no emergency and arrested her for misusing the 911 system, an offense punishable by a fine of up to several thousand dollars and a year in jail.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Trouble With Viagra

An 80-year old man is in hot water because he was selling crack and cocaine to supplement his retirement income.
He'll serve a 6 to 18 month sentence but his attorneys don't want him to go to jail because of his age.
His attorney also revealed his motivation, "he decided it's cheaper to pay for sex with crack than cash." Investigators said Cocco often hosted prostitutes, whom he paid with drugs.
Neighbors said Cocco, whose wife, Rosemarie, died in April 2003, started getting new and suspicious visitors to his back door early last year. They called police and the mayor's office to complain.
In November, city narcotics detectives checking into the complaints were shocked when an informant confirmed the retiree was "slinging rock."
With a search warrant, police raided the home, taking a pistol from Cocco's waistband, $600 in crack from his pocket and a stash of cash, baggies and a digital scale from his dining room table.
Asked if he was sorry about his foray into drug-dealing, Cocco replied: "You better believe I am. I'm not going to do that anymore."

slinging rock

Love Is Blind

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy are planning to get married, maybe eloping over the Labor Day Weekend. Carrey is the veteran of two divorces, McCarthy only one. The couple has only been together a few months and seem ready to make Carrey a three-time loser. We give them 18 months of loud, manic screaming and laughing at unfunny jokes until they laugh all the way to divorce court. Ain't love grand.

Big Ben Rides Again

Ben Roethlisberger made his first public appearance since his June 12th motorcycle accident at the ESPYs. He said medics told him he was seconds away from dying. He also gave his first interview, to Jim Rome. He told Romey that sometimes he did wear his helmet, he just forgot it in the basement that day. He says he will always wear a helmet from now on should he choose to ride again, which he didn't rule out.
I think the doctors did a great job on Roethlisberger but like an old tired woman you can definitely tell that he had some work done.

Crude Jokes About Menstruation

Idiot IRL driver Ed Carpenter (never heard of him? me neither) was asked about whether Danica Patrick could succeed in NASCAR. He said
"I think Danica's pretty aggressive in our cars. I mean, you know especially if you catch her at the right time of the month, she might be trading plenty of paint out there. But I think she'll hold her own."
He claims that he was trying to say Patrick is already competitive and competent.
Danica shrugged it off with her usual class. "That sounds like a good joke to me, it's pretty funny to me. No big deal. Ed is a really nice guy. There's no drama there. I think it's funny. I'm glad he's showing some personality."
Danica handled it the right way, no sense getting angry about stupid things said by stupid people. Carpenter has to learn that you don't make jokes like that when you are a public figure. And I love a menstruation joke as much as the next guy, but this one wasn't even particularly funny.

He's Been a Long Shot Before

All the cards and letters of innocent children and animal lovers have not helped Barbaro in his recovery. Barbaro who broke his right hind leg in the Preakness, had 23 screws inserted into that leg. Screws in the lower bones became infected so doctors had to do surgery to clean the infection site and remove and replace the screws. That operation was successful but the problem caused Barbaro to put too much weight on his left hind leg and another life threatening problem developed there.
He developed laminitis (an inflamation of the tissue that bonds the horse's bone to the inner wall of the hoof) and is in "poor" condition and considered a "long shot" to survive.
Right now Barbaro is on pain management and is comfortable, but if he stops eating or shows signs of distress he will be put down.
His owners insist he being kept alive because they think he can recover and because they love him. Not because of the potential for lucrative stud fees. In fact, they say that even if he does recover he may not be able to assume the position necessary to knock up a mare. And thoroughbred horses cannot be born through artificial insemination.
I fear that we are approaching a very sad end to a very sad tale.

he still loves the ladies
and the carrots
the doctors, they done all they could, but their medicines, could do no good
i heart barbaro

I'm a Douche III

My company has an intranet site that includes an employee directory. While looking up someone's number I noticed the entry had space for a "preferred name." For instance, if you are named Coach but would rather be called Mike, or you're given named is Joshua but since that sounds pretentious and gay you'd like to go by Josh, you'd fill out that line.
I thought it would be funny to put "Fred" as my preferred name, just to see how long, if ever, it would take for someone to notice. I thought it would be an automatic thing.
Immediately after I made the change, I got an automated e-mail saying my request was being processed. Two seconds later I got another automated e-mail saying the change was done. A couple minutes after that, a real person e-mailed me to ask if I'd like to change my e-mail and network preferences to Fred from Paul.
I said "Paul will be just fine for e-mail and network."

Bad News for Greek Shipping Heirs

Paris Hilton is giving up sex for a year. She is convinced that abstaining will help her to "rediscover" herself.
She said: "I'm doing it just because I want to. I feel I'm becoming stronger as a person."
She doesn't believe in one night stands - because they are "gross".
She said: "One-night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up. Guys want you more if you don't just hand it to them on a platter. If they want you, then they will wait. You have to make them work for it. I think that's the only way you know if they really want you or just want to be able to brag that they've been with you."

Pirates Conquer Aquaman

CNBC anchor Joe Kernen has been lampooned for reporting that "Pirates of the Caribbean" beat out "Aquaman" for the biggest movie opening ever.

He does sort of look serious, but I think the editor of that clip edited out the part where he said that he loves Entourage.

Butt Head

The head butt heard round the world is taking on a life of its own.

You can also play the Zidane head butt game.

It's spawned several videos on youtube. This one has been viewed more than a million times in two days, making it the hottest video on the site.

But I ask you dear reader, who bears a great resemblance to Zidane, Mark Messier or Gus Hansen?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


I will not be a contestant on Stump the Schwab this season.
I tried out and got 22 of 30 on the written test, did well in the solo audition but they decided not to pick me.
Not sure if they had a lot of good first timers, or I wasn't good enough, but I will not be on the show this season.
One silver lining, they called me a few days later and asked if I could be part of a trial. They are working on a new Round 2 game and needed experienced contestants to come in and play it so they could see how it works best, how long it takes, etc.
They gave famous sports quotes and we had to name the source of the quote.
We played it twice.
The first time we had to wait for fake Stuart (who did an hilarious impersonation) to finish reading the quote before we could answer. On the first four questions we hit the bell at exactly the same time and FSS called on him all four times. I eventually caught up and took a lead, but I screwed up the last one, and he stole it, leading to a 3 point swing. He beat me 13-10
The second time we played you could ring in as soon as you knew the answer. I absolutely dominated this round. I had an 11-4 lead before coasting to a 14-10 lead.

Some quotes I remember:
"You cannot be serious."
"Why? Why? Why me?"
"You play to win the game. Hello!?"
"It's 5 to 4, and I don't believe what I just saw."

As Seen on CNN

Gillette has started a viral marketing campaign called NoScruf.
Yesterday, dozens of angry women stormed Bryant park wearing faux underarm hair and threatening not to shave until we did. This is a backlash against the stubble movement. As a stubbly guy, I got singled out by these women for venom. A little while after I left, Kelly Monaco and Brooke Burke arrived and joined the movement.

Over at the Recap

The Mets face the SI cover jinx.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

It's Hard Being a Celeb

There was a little transportation drama at the 33 Club Party at Heinz Field Sunday night.

New York Yankees Alex Rodriguez was supposed to be the host along with New York Mets David Wright. But Alex couldn't make it at all, and Wright's plane had an oil leak, so he had to switch.

When he finally got here his limo got a flat tire, and he had to walk from Liberty Avenue to the football stadium.

Once inside, he had plenty of company. More than 1,200 people showed up including football Hall of Famer Jim Kelly, baseball great Goose Gossage and actor Danny Masterson from "That 70s Show," Freddy Sanchez, Vernon Wells and Ryan Howard.

Monday, July 10, 2006

As Seen on CNN

The people at Folgers are catching on to the new way of advertising products. Instead of spending millions on TV commercials that no one watches (because of DVRs), they create a simple little video, put it on youtube, and millions watch it by choice. Commercial employs one of my favorite phrases, "you'll sleep when you are dead."

Porqua Zizou Porqua?

A great soccer game, and a fun World Cup was marred by Zinedine Zidane getting himself kicked out of the final against Italy.

Zidane still got the Golden Ball as best player in the tournament.

Zidane scored the first goal of the game early on a penalty kick, that hit the cross bar and came straight down, right behind the goal line.

Italy tied it up a few minutes later and the two teams didn't score for another 100 minutes or so.

The game got very boring at the end as neither team had enough stamina or onions to try to make something happen and risk losing the World Cup.

We had a wedding to go to so I watched the second OT and the penalty kicks in a hotel lobby while an annoyed Kate waited for me. Luckily, I made it before the ceremony started.

Italy made all five of its penalties, and France only missed one, when it hit the crossbar and bounced almost straight down, but unlike Zidane's it came down in front of the goal line.

I really enjoyed watching World Cup but I won't get into the EPL (English Premier League) but I will look forward to 2010 in South Africa when expectations will be high and the U.S. will flame out early again.

It's a real shame that Zidane went out the way he did. The story of the whole World Cup was that he is retiring from international and club play. I must have heard Dave O'Brien say that 1000 times. He just completely lost his cool.
I think the Italian guy flopped a little bit, even an Andre the Giant headbutt to the chest shouldn't send a grown man sprawling. It'll be interesting to see if Zidane is still remembered as one of the best players ever, or if this incident mars his whole legacy.