Friday, November 11, 2005

Not All Eagles Fans Look Like Adam and Todd

Some Philly radio station held a hottest Eagles Fan contest. Dana won. Her D-Nabb jersey got torn in half somehow, and she's using the bottom half for shorts. Very clever. The two runners up aren't as pretty as Dana so they really slutted themselves up. Good thinking girls.

Anybody else want a piece of me?

Force Feeding Geese

A debate is breaking out in Chicago over the production of foie gras.
Foie gras, pronounced fwah-GRAH and French for "fat liver," often is served sliced and pan-seared, frequently with fruit or atop greens or a cut of steak or veal.
To fatten the liver of waterfowl, a tube is inserted into their throats twice a day and partially cooked corn is pumped down the esophagus.
Force-feeding causes them to have livers up to 10 times their normal size.
Defenders of foie gras claim the birds' anatomy is perfectly adaptable to the large liver.
California is the only state to ban foie gras, because it's governor banned it, despite opposition.

So Hector, what do you do for a living?

There's Snow Place Like Syracuse in Early November

The weather forecast for Syracuse this weekend shows balmy temperatures and maybe even flurries.

I Wonder If They Came Out Wearing Headbands

The New York Times reports the wife of Nets forward Cliff Robinson gave birth to twin boys Monday afternoon at the Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Robinson left the team after its morning shoot-around to be with her.

Congrats, Cliff

Baby Boom

Shaquille O'Neal's wife, Shaunie, is pregnant with the couple's fourth child. They each have one from a previous relationship for a total of 6. Shaunie is three months pregnant.
Not to be outdone, Kobe Bryant announced that his wife, Vanessa is also pregnant. Kobe and Vanessa have one daughter. Their new baby is due in May.

Kobe & Vanessa

Shaq & Shaunie

The Shocking Popularity of the Shocker

I don't really have anything to add, but I think some of you might like to read this. By the way, the article is written by a guy who relies on a hand sign of his own for all his success and notoriety.

What Could This Book Possibly Be About?

Some jerk wrote a book about Festivus, and got Jerry Stiller to put his name and face on it. I guess once you become a ridiculous caricature of yourself for King of Queens, you have no self-respect left. Now it's time for the feats of strength.

Christmas for the Christians, Hanukah for the Jews and Festivs for the Restivus

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Horstman Gets Married

Derek chronicles Jeff Horstman's wedding at The Pizza Parlor.

Space Exploration Rules

A European Space agency sent a probe to Venus.
So when are they going to probe Uranus?

More on Paris' New Greek Shipping Heir

Page 6 says earlier this month Paris Hilton's new Greek Shipping Heir boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos III was partying at Element (same place they were the night of the accident). After leaving the club Stavros and some friends stopped at Burger King. "Stavros offered a homeless man outside $100 to dump a soda on himself." The desperate bum took the payout and everyone laughed.

He may have a lot of money but every horny guy in America has seen his girlfriend have sex. You can't unring that bell.

Bodies on Display

Sobel is up in arms over this exhibit at the South Street Seaport. Dead bodies and organs from unclaimed deceased Chinese citizens will be on display until November 19th. 22 skinless corpses and more than 260 organs and partial body specimens "will give visitors the opportunity to see their own bodies in a fascinating way," promoters say. It costs $24.50 (or an arm and a leg) to see this mess.

No More Healy!!!!!

Rejoice Mets fans, it appears Fran Healy may finally be out of our lives. The new SportsNet New York (run by Curt Gowdy, Jr.) hired Gary Cohen as lead announcer. The network is reportedly looking at a rotation of analysts to work with Cohen, but the Post says Healy won't be one of them.

I hope Keith Hernandez finds a spot on the new network. I'd also like to hear John Franco. He did a good job on the radio during the Astros-Braves series.

In addition to 125 Mets games, programming will also include 30 college football games and 85 college basketball games from conference including the Big East and Big Ten.

Maybe Anna K Likes it That Way

Reports that Enrique Iglesias has a small penis were taken out of context, I think. He was promoting his new cologne and he said ""Hey, whatever I can do to help people get laid."
Then he is quoted as saying, jokingly, that his next venture will be to promote extra-small condoms because "I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it's really embarrassing for people - you know, from experience.
"Hopefully people won't be ashamed when I step forward."
"I've had many [embarrassing sexual experiences], but I'll have to say when alcohol kills the romance - in fact, when alcohol kills everything, if you know what I mean."

But I Don't Want to be a Pirate

On November 22nd, the 5th and 6th seasons of Seinfeld are coming out on DVD. As a promotional stunt actors will be walking around Manhattan wearing puffy shirts. The Seinfeld DVD gift set ($50) that includes the fifth and sixth seasons, plus a miniature plastic replica of the original “puffy shirt.”

bryant gumbel hates this shirt

Weekly Picks

Time once again to settle disputes for Harley and Adam. Last week I went 4-4, which is adequate but not good enough to pay the bills. Brings my season record for them to 14-9.

GIANTS -9.5 vikings: The Giants have been playing really well this year, especially at home. But this is a huge line for a team that up until two weeks ago had been struggling on defense. I'll take the Vikings because my backup QB theory held up with Brad Johnson last week.

LIONS -4.5 cardinals: As long as Joey Harrington is starting for Detroit you really have to be careful about picking them. He could turn it over 3 or 4 times. The Cardinals are frisky, I like them to keep it close.

BILLS -2.5 chiefs: Always take the better team on the road if you can get points. The Chiefs got a rough break with the Priest Holmes news but LJ may actually be a better player at this point. Or at least he's good enough so that their offense won't miss a beat. I'll take the Chiefs.

PANTHERS -9.5 jets: The Panthers played down to the level of their competition early in the season but now they are starting to step it up. Last week, Brooks Bollinger came in and cost us the spread against San Diego. The Chargers don't have a great defense, the Panthers do. The Chargers game planned for Vinny, the Panthers are preparing for Bollinger. The Panthers big tall defensive line will be too much for the Jets depleted O-line and short quarterback.

SEAHAWKS -6.5 rams: The Seahawks broke the spell the Rams had over them and I think they have something good going this season. They have a good defense and a great running game. I don't trust the Rams on the road even if Marc Bulger comes back. I'll take the Seahawks.

FALCONS -9.5 packers: The Packers are in big trouble healthwise and despite that, they managed to hang in against the Steelers last week. This week the Falcons will shut down Samkon Gado and force Favre to beat them with the pass. He'll probably throw four INTs.

STEELERS -8.5 browns: The Steelers played a bad game last week and the Browns are terrible and coming off a win. That's a recipe for a classic Steelers grind it out, blow em out victory.

Smart Jews

Interesting article in New York Magazine dealing with the so-called myth, that Jews are smarter.

Cornell Gives 'Em Hell

Cornell hung tight with Syracuse last night, but eventually SU pulled away for a 67-62 win. Terrence Roberts and freshman Eric Devendorf led the Orange with some key baskets down the stretch, turning a 56-56 tie into a 62-57 lead. SU missed 18 straight 3-point shots after hitting the first 3-point attempt of the game. Gerry McNamara missed 10 3-pointers (ending his streak of 53 straight games with a trey), but he did end up with 17 points, by making 13 free throws. SU will play the winner of the Lubbock regional (probably Texas Tech) next Thursday night at the World's Most Famous Arena.

Green Puppy

A green Golden Retriever was born in California. Its three littermates are the normal color. The dog was cleverly named Wasabi. Skeptics say the owner must have dyed it, the owner says he was born that way.


That's Hot

Paris Hilton and her newest Greek shipping heir boyfriend (what is the deal with Greek shipping heirs?), who thankfully isn't also named Paris, got into a car accident while trying to avoid paparazzi. You have to watch the video of this. This schmuck was driving with a jacket over his face, and you wonder why he drives into a truck. One of the other people in the car, is apparently on Derek's favorite TV show, Laguna Beach.

we love the police

Manny Will Hit Manny Home Runs, for the Mets?

These Manny to the Mets rumors just won't die. Boston's new GM, whoever that might be will likely entertain offers for Ramirez. Manny is exactly the type of player that the Mets need. They need a guy who can hit in clutch situations and not get affected by the booing from the idiot fans. But I don't want to trade three potential prospects for a guy who is overpaid, can't play defense and could potentially demand a trade in June. I guess what I'm saying is, I reserve the right to complain either way.

Manny being Manny, man

Raffy Blames a Shot in the Ass

Rafael Palmeiro promised Congress an explanation as to why a steroid was found in his system causing him to fail a drug test. He never intentionally took steroids he blames a contaminated B12 shot. What a fraud this guy is. Someone is giving him very bad advice. He obviously thinks that he can get into the Hall of Fame, and maybe even play again next year if he just continues to deny. At this point he'd be better off confessing and retiring. In five years so many other guys will have been caught, and so much shadow will be cast on other guys (Bonds, McGwire and Sosa -- all of whom will make the Hall) that Raffy will be forgiven. But this continuing coverup is killing his credibility.

Congress has decided not to go after Palmeiro for perjury charges.

I never took steroids, EVER...well, maybe once...but it was an accident

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Sheffield's Wife and R. Kelly

A former minister named Derick Mosley is on trial for trying to blackmail Gary Sheffield and his wife. He apparently asked for $20,000 to destroy the tape featuring DeLeon Richards and another woman having sex with R. Kelly. This tape was made more than ten years ago when DeLeon was (surprise!) a teenager. When the story first broke last year the Sheffield's tried to deny it was her but according to reports she looks directly at the camera and is clearly visible on the videotape.

Mrs. Sheffield
I can't believe my wife made a sex tape with R. Kelly!

Important Update to SU story

Bill just reminded me of a major omission in my previous post about last night's Syracuse game. Because the SU-South Carolina game got off to such a slow start Mike asked what was the lowest scoring game ever. Smist replied "5-3, my high school."

Justin is Moving to Dover, Pennsylvania

Voters came down hard Tuesday on Dover, Pa., school board members who ordered a statement on intelligent design read in biology class, ousting eight Republicans and replacing them with Democrats who want the concept stripped from the science curriculum.

And then there's Kansas, where schools were first in desegregation and haven't done anything right since. The state Board of Education approved science standards for public schools that cast doubt on the theory of evolution. The 6-4 vote was a victory for intelligent design advocates who helped draft the standards.

Intelligent design holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by some kind of higher force. The statement read to students says Charles Darwin's theory is "not a fact" and has inexplicable "gaps."

Clinton Keeps 'Em Laughing

Washington Redskins RB Clinton Portis has been donning different disguises and creating new personalities each week to keep the media members entertained during his press meetings. His newest character is Dr. I Don't Know. Jerome from Southeast died, presumably because the Redskins lost 36-0 after Jerome appeared. Dr. I Don't Know led the writers in a moment of silence for Jerome.

Dr. I Don't Know

Jerome from Southeast

Chuck and the Jet vs. Cuban

Mark Cuban has had a running feud with Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley. Kenny and Charles criticized Dallas' defense even though they beat Phoenix. Cuban called them "idiots." That started a whole bunch of talking back and forth. First of call, Charles is an idiot. He is so unprepared it's embarrassing. He makes up for his lack of preparation by saying ridiculous or outrageous things. Kenny is unassailable, he's great on camera, knows what he's saying and backs up his opinions. I love Cuban. In this case, I think neither of them did anything wrong, they just disagreed. If anything Cuban shouldn't have take then criticism of his team so personally because the fact is, they don't play defense well. But Barkley should be very embarrassed that he doesn't use the internet. In this day and age that's ignorant. And there's no way he can prepare to do his job without using the internet to read local papers, or game recaps. Fortunately for him TNT doesn't pay him to be intelligent, they pay him to be entertaining. Barkley is the poster child for everything that's wrong with throwing athletes on TV into pseudo-journalistic roles.

Ugie in Trouble

One closer the Mets won't be going after this offseason is Ugueth Urbina. Urbina was arrested in Venezuela. He is accused of taking part in an attack on a group of workers on his ranch. The attackers had machetes and poured gasoline on the workers, in an attempt to set them on fire. Urbina says he has nothing to do with it. I wonder if he thinks these workers were responsible for the kidnapping of his mother. She was held for five months by captors who were demanding a $6m ransom. She was rescued by authorities who then said her captors were drug traffickers.

I didn't have no stinkin machete

Crystal Meth Users Steal Puppies

Puppy theft is on the rise in Portland, Oregon.
A thief stole three English bulldgos, worth about $1,500 each.
Police say the thieves often sell the dogs to supply a meth habit.

Good News & Bad News in Cheerleader Story

The bad news: turns out they may not have been having sex in that stall. Renee Thomas "denies all allegations of any sexual conduct." Another witness also says they were not having sex, although at least three witnesses believe they were getting busy in the Banana Joe's bathroom. When Keathley emerged from the bathroom she said "my friend is having a problem." Was she vomiting? Crying over an ex-boyfriend? I sure hope not.

The good news: Penthouse magazine is trying to convince them to pose nude.
Kathleen Berzon, a spokeswoman for the adult publication, said the magazine is "working very diligently to achieve its goal of shooting a nude pictorial" of the former cheerleaders. She would not say how much money the magazine had offered the women.

Latest Steroid Confessor

Wally Joyner admitted in ESPN Magazine story that he used steroids for two weeks at the end of his career, in 1998 to be exact. He reportedly got them from former teammate the late admitted steroid user, Ken Caminiti. I think other than the top stars (Sosa, Bonds, McGwire, Giambi, Sheffield, Palmeiro) who used steroids, we are learning that most of the rest of the users are fringe guys trying to earn a spot or veterans like Joyner trying to hang on. Remember Wally when he first came up with the Angels? He was a pretty good player.


But He's a Good Tipper

On Monday, the Eagles announced that T.O. was suspended four games and would not return for the rest of the season. For dinner that night T.O. reportedly ordered from that classy Italian joint, Domino's. James McDevitt, a Domino's Pizza deliveryman, delivered what he said was about $20 worth of pizza to Owens' house Monday night. McDevitt left the $5 tip on the porch. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, James, that's 25%.
"He needs it to feed his family," said McDevitt, poking fun at the reason Owens cited for demanding a new contract this summer.

The Man Behind the Mayhem

You may have heard about Graham Bensinger, the guy who interviewed T.O. in what became the final straw with the Eagles. Bensinger is a 19 year old freshman at Syracuse University who has his own show on ESPN Radio. Quite impressive. He started the show over the internet now has made a name for himself at the expense of T.O., sort of. Bensinger may benefit the most from this whole episode. But I doubt it will help him with the sorority chicks on Marshall Street.

Still strikes out at Darwin's

It's ESPN's fault

I hate ESPN as a journalistic enterprise. It is not ESPN's fault that T.O. is a jerk. But ESPN certainly gave him the rope to hang himself with. Calling ESPN "Al-Jazeera for spoiled athletes" is a pretty fun line and it's accurate to a point. But T.O. is a grown man and what he says is his own responsibilty. But ESPN definitely helped out.

As T.O. Turns

T.O. apologized yesterday and Drew Rosenhaus went on a rant, but the Eagles say it's too little too late. They will not take T.O. back. I think they should let him sit out three more games and then allow him to come back. They need him, but not at the expense of team chemistry. I think they could save face if they sit him for four games and then bring him back into the fold. But here's why they are pissed: T.O. could have done this last week. That is what the Eagles asked him to do. But he didn't, so I guess he called their bluff and Andy Reid flopped the nuts.

Orange You Glad They Won Their First Game?

The basketball team is now tied in wins with the football team. SU dominated Bethune-Cookman on defense holding them to only 37 points. The last time SU allowed as few as 37 points was Jan 24, 1998 against South Carolina. That game is famous because it's the game that EZE had to leave early. After making several wise cracks about the Gamecocks including "That Cock needs a blow," EZE decided he was still too drunk from the night before and went home at halftime. It wasn't even a noon game, as I recall it was a 2pm starting time.
SU plays Cornell tonight where hopefully the great Gerry McNamara can score more than 5 points.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Orange You Glad The Season's Starting?

Syracuse Orange basketball team tips off the season tonight in the opening round of the 2K Sports College Hoops Classic benefiting Coaches vs. Cancer. Coach Boeheim is very active in Coaches vs. Cancer. He begins his 30th season as coach of #16 ranked SU against Bethune-Cookman. If SU wins, they'll play the winner of Cornell vs. St. Francis before moving on to face stiffer competition at Madison Square Garden next week. Florida, Wake Forest and Texas Tech are the other big schools in this tournament.

Pete Rose Jr. Had Date Rape Drug

A lot of media have been reporting Pete Rose Jr. was distributing a steroid. But reading further into it, GBL is actually used more commonly as a date rape drug. According to a medical expert, Gamma Butyrolactone is a sedative hypnotic.
In small doses it leads to drowsiness; larger doses it leads to unconsciousness or coma. The DEA says it's invisible when dissolved, odorless and quickly, metabolized in the body. All features of a quality date rape drug. So why was he giving it to teammates?

John Rocker was one of Rose's teammates on the Long Island Ducks this year, but these charges stem from his time with the Chattanooga Lookouts, a Reds affiliate, in 2002.


That Didn't Take Long

Everybody's Eastern Conference favorite, the Miami Heat, may be in a little trouble. First Shaq went down with an ankle injury, though he should only be out 2-4 weeks. But now Jason Williams and Antoine Walker got into an on-court screaming match after Williams gave up on defense of the fast-break caused by a turnover after Williams didn't make a hard cut to the basket.

Cheerleader Update

Our favorite TopCats, Renee and Angela, have been thrown off the team. Their pictures and bios have been taken off the Panthers website. We now know that they were in the stall for approximately 15 minutes, while those waiting could hear moaning eminating from the stall. We also learned that Renee is only 20 and she used the ID of a third cheerleader to get into the bar, and she gave that name to police when they questioned her. Kristen Owen has been suspended by the TopCats for letting Renee use her ID, even though she wasn't present for the fight or the lesbian bathroom activity.

angela dancing
Kristen lent Renee her ID
Suspended for being a good friend

Statement Game

Huge win for the Colts. They were finally able to score points against the Patriots in New England. It's a huge psychological game for them. They now seem like a lock to win homefield advantage throughout the AFC Playoffs, meaning they have to be considered the favorite to reach the Super Bowl. They really have put it altogether this year. They have a strong running game, a good defense that pressures the quarterback and forces turnovers and they of couse still have some guy named Peyton Manning. As for New England, they should still make the playoffs because their division is so weak, but they will likely have to win three road games to make it back to the Super Bowl.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Enjoying the Game

Jessica Alba took in yesterday's Knicks loss from courtside. She sat next to Jerry Ferrara, Turtle from Entourage. Do you think he's at the point where he's just Turtle all the time and no longer goes by Jerry. The lucky guy with his legs intertwined with Jessica's is her fiance, Cash Warren. Cool name, hot girl, I hate him.
Mike Breen looks shocked.  Jessica looks bored, and hot.  Cash looks lucky.  Turtle looks bloated.
Jessica and Cash enjoying the game


A couple of Carolina Panthers cheerleaders allegedly got into a fight at a Tampa Bay nightclub on Saturday night. What would cause chicks to fight like this? Evidently another female bar patron complained that the duo was taking too long in the bathroom. What were they doing in there for so long? Renee Thomas and Angela Ellen Keathley were having sex. When they finally finished, the whole episode came to a climax when a woman waiting in line started an argument. Thomas punched her in the face.

Renee is the blond one. She has three dogs. She likes country music and hip-hop. And nothing revs her engine like NASCAR and motocross. Angela has dark hair, is a registered nurse and likes mystery novels. Angela also says the "friendships" are the best part of being a TopCat. I agree.


Hey T.O., the Jerk Store Called

T.O. sat out of last night's game after being suspended indefinitely for conduct detrimental to the team. The Eagles apparently want him to apologize to the team, and to Donovan McNabb. I don't think he's going to do that, so he may get Keyshawned (asked to stay home for the rest of the season).

T.O. also got into a fistfight in the locker room with former Eagle Hugh Douglas who was just visiting.

I hope that no team picks him up next season. But I'm sure some team would be willing to try it to hope it works out for a year.

Redskins Wrap

HUGE game for the Skins. They still fumble too often, but luckily they covered two of their own (counting Thrash's muffed punt).
I still don't feel great about this team. They never force turnovers (had zero last night until that final interception). They still can't run the ball consistently. And they tend to give up the big play. Brown's 56 yard touchdown was the latest, Bell had two long TD runs, Holmes caught a screen pass for a long TD and last week of course Barber had two long runs. But right now they are 5-3 with Tampa, Oakland, San Diego, St Louis and Arizona on the scheduled before ending the season with Dallas, Giants and Philly.

If That's All There Is

Fascinating comments by Tom Brady on 60 Minutes. It seems that he got everything he wanted, and found he wasn't happy when he got it. Brady said: “Why do I have three Super Bowl rings and still think there's something greater out there for me? I mean, maybe a lot of people would say, ‘Hey man, this is what is.’ I reached my goal, my dream, my life. Me, I think, ‘God, it's got to be more than this.’ I mean this isn't, this can't be what it's all cracked up to be.”

I find this happens with a lot of celebrities and even lottery winners, everything you ever dreamed of isn't as good once you actually get it. I think it happens because they lose hope, they no longer dream. There's nothing better out there. I guess the Pacific is never as blue as it is in our dreams.

Hot New Pooch

The hot new dog that everyone wants this year is the puggle. Even that greedy pig James Gandolfini has one. I'm not a big fan of little dogs, but I must say this little guy, a beagle-pug mix, is pretty cute.

Mike Vick Stinks

Mike Vick had a pretty decent game yesterday and even made some key passes. But I still think he is a horrible passer. He is obviously a great runner but I reject all those morons that say the Falcons need to keep him in the pocket. They are better when he is running the ball.
If you do not watch EA Sports Matchup on ESPN with Sal Pal, Jaws and Merril Hoji-Sheik, you should. In this week's episode Jaws showed just why Vick is so bad. On a key third down play Vick had Crumpler wide open for the first down but hesitated and instead dumped it off, but short of the first down. That doesn't show up in the stats because he didn't run it but he is just an inaccurate passer who doesn't make the right decisions.
I really don't think the Falcons will ever take it to the next level with him, unless they just run the ball every time on quarterback draws.

Shocker: Dick Vermeil Cries

Kansas City Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil cried in his postgame press conference when he announced that he was giving the game ball to Trent Green and his family because Green's father died recently.
That wasn't the surprising part.
Vermeil's gutsy call at the end of the game surprised and impressed me.
Kansas City was trailing 23-20 and had 5 seconds (time for one play) from the one yard line.
Instead of going for overtime Vermail elected to give his team the chance to win and it worked out. Had he gone the field goal his chances are about 50% of getting the ball on the coin toss. Usually the team that gets the ball in OT wins the game.
I think the chances of scoring on one play from the one yard line are better than 50%.
Good call, especially since football coaches are notoriously gutless, trying to avoid second guessing.