Saturday, December 08, 2012

Weekly Picks

I don't even know what to do anymore, except try to pick the Giants as my best bet. I've picked them three times, they are 0-3 ATS and 1-2 overall (ECPs, Bengals and Redskins).

atlanta -3 CAROLINA
I know the Falcons haven't been super-impressive lately but the Panthers stink. They just lost to the Chiefs. 3 points doesn't seem big enough here.

houston +3 1/2 NEW ENGLAND
That extra half-point makes Houston very attractive to me.

TAMPA BAY -7 philadelphia
The ExpensiveCornPrices are coming off a loss and can't afford another one. The Eagles are in total meltdown mode. I think the Eagles season is like a snowball rolling downhill. The worse it gets the more they quit.

SEATTLE -9 1/2 arizona
If the Cardinals struggle on offense against bad defenses what is going to happen when they play a good defense? And the Seahawks are undefeated at home.

INDIANAPOLIS -5 tennessee
The Colts have something special going. But they don't win big. They play a lot of close games which is probably why they aren't a bigger favorite here.

Last Week: 1-4 (0 point)
Season: 27-38 (20 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-10)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (5-18)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (6-4)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (9-10)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (7-6)

How to Explain Hanukkah To Your Kids

Happy Hanukkah to all!

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Song of the Week

"This Must Be Heaven" - Brainstorm
A beautiful 1970s soul classic. Smooth beat, great male/female duet, just absolutely awesome.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

The NFL is Poop - Week 13

Let Them Play
At first I was against the NFL’s decision not to delay of cancel the Chiefs game in light of the murder/suicide committed by linebacker Jovan Belcher. Undeniably it’s an horrific situation, and I think asking the team and the fans to play a game just a day after it happened was insensitive at best and unfeeling at worst. I know it would have been a major inconvenience for the fans and it would have cost the team and the networks money. I doubt anyone would have complained too loudly about being disrupted by a tragedy such as this. But in the end the game went on as planned and the NFL said it was because of Romeo Crennel and the Chiefs. And as hokey as it may sound playing the game, the normal routine, may have helped the Chiefs get over it. The team hadn’t played with a lead all season (their only win came in sudden death) and finally won another game.

"As far as playing the game, I thought that was the best for us to do, because that's what we do," Crennel said, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "We're football players and football coaches and that's what we do, we play on Sunday."
One of the most shocking parts of this is that when Belcher shot his girlfriend he fled to Arrowhead Stadium and Crennel and GM Scott Pioli were there trying to calm him down. Belcher shot himself in the head as Crennel and Pioli watched. If those are the circumstances, and Crennel still wants the game to proceed, then I’ll trust his judgement.

Better To Be Luck-y Than Good
In his first season Andrew Luck has had more incredible comebacks than most quarterbacks get in their lifetimes. When Luck threw an interception with under 7 minutes to go giving the Lions the ball and a 12 point lead, I thought the game was over.
But Luck immediately brought them back, scoring quickly on a 42-yard pass. 85 yard drive in a minute and 23 seconds. That was key because it forced Detroit to have to make a couple of first downs. They only made one, setting up Luck with 75 yards to go and 1:07 to get there.
And as time expired Luck hit Donnie Avery for the game-winning TD adding to his growing legend.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Another extraordinary game from Robert Griffin III. He ran at all the right times, threw some great passes, made plays when they needed to be made and got a little lucky. His fumble/swat that bounced right to Josh Morgan for a TD was admittedly a very fortuitous bounce.

There's a common expression in football, "the best offense is a good defense," because a good defense will set your offense up to score, or even score itself. But at the end of games the best defense is a good offense because the best way to keep a team from scoring to is to prevent them from getting the ball. When the Redskins got the ball back with 4 minutes to go I thought for sure I'd be biting my nails through a last-minute drive by Eli Manning. But Griffin ran for 8 yards on first down. Then he Pierre Garcon with what was pretty much the clincher. No points resulted from it, but that drive was crucial to winning the game.
The Redskins defense is horrible. The Giants cut through it with no problems at all. 60% on 3rd down, 5 plays of more than 20 yards, but in the second half they toughened up and made a couple key stops to secure the win.

Jumping Over a Low Bar
Greg McElroy is now the considered a savior in New York, not based on one drive, 29 yards passing and a touchdown, which was enough to win him the game and Player of the Game honors, but because he is not Mark Sanchez and not Tim Tebow.

Mark Sanchez threw up another stinker, 3 INTs in his first 9 pass attempts, and Tim Tebow was sidelined with a rib injury.

Note: not sure how serious the injury is but either he was just a decoy against the Patriots or he was benched this week so fans wouldn't start screaming his name the first time Sanchez fucked up.

Now the Jets have no choice but to start McElroy and see what happens. Sanchez has no future with them, nor does Tebow. Roll the dice with the new guy. The schedule is very favorable (@JAC, @TEN, SD, @BUF), and if they can somehow go 4-0 they have an outside shot at the playoffs.

Game of the Week
Seattle Seahawks 23 Chicago Bears 17

In any other year Russell Wilson would be a rookie sensation, the talk of the league, but in 2012, he's third-best. He led two great, late touchdown drives, one in regulation (another incredible TD by Golden Tate) and one in overtime. But had the Bears won the coin toss we might very well be talking about Jay Cutler and his 56-yard strike to Brandon Marshall setting up the game-tying field goal as time expired. A very frantic and exciting conclusion to this game.

Game of Next Week
Houston Texans and New England Patriots

This should be a shootout, and maybe an AFC title game preview.

Picture of the Week
All the football stuff pales in comparison this week to the Jovan Belcher suicide, the murder of Kasandra Perkins and the orphaning of their daughter, Zoey, 3-months.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Houston Texans 31 Atlanta Falcons 24
Nothing ever changes, and no one else is even close.

Staten Island Suicide

Felicia Garcia was a 15-year-old high school student in Staten Island. She went to Tottenville. She had a hard life, was living in foster care because both her parents died when she was younger. She was depressed and had been on medication to treat it. As many young girls do, even ones from loving homes, she sought to increase her self-esteem and popularity through promiscuity.

After a football game she went to a party. She had sex with four football players at the party.
And it had the opposite effect on her popularity. She was made fun of in school, bullied on Facebook and Twitter, and pushed to the edge literally.
She was going home from school, waiting on the platform for the train to arrive. When the train finally arrived, a friend said "finally." Felicia said "yeah, finally" and then leaned back in front of the oncoming train which could not stop in time.
A couple disturbing trends in our society came together to spell doom for Felicia Garcia. Young girls feeling the need to have sex to gain acceptance and the bullying culture that's allowed to fester and grow on the internet.

Note: This happened about a week before Sandy and I never had time to write about it until now.

3000 Words

The airhorn door-stopper, best prank ever.

I looked up cuckold in the dictionary.

Sofia Vergara eating a banana. And this is part of the reason why I don't eat bananas. Though I think she is using too much teeth here.

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Go Away

The New York Jets are having a crisis, on the field, in the front office and even in the stands. Their lovable unofficial mascot, Fireman Ed is retiring. I don't really give two shits about Fireman Ed. I thought he was cool at first, when he was just a devoted fan who cared passionately about the team.

But as time passed his schtick grew old, lost its novelty and the notoriety seemed to go to his head.
And evidently I'm not the only one who feels this way, Juice even told me I shouldn't write this post because Fireman Ed isn't important enough.
And while neither Juice nor I would ever fight Fireman Ed or insult him over this but some fans did. And that is why Fireman Ed is retiring. According to him, too many fans have taken out their frustrations with the team on him. At games, in the bathroom, in the parking lot, people yell at him like he is part of the team, he isn't, or they think his tickets are comped, they're not.
So I have no sympathy for Fireman Ed, he milked his very benign gimmick for all it's worth and now, appropriately it is time for him to move on.
But if I had to choose a dog in this fight, I would pick Fireman Ed over the drunk, obnoxious louts like those heard here berating the Jets as they went into the locker room at halftime of the Thanksgiving Massacre against the Patriots.