Saturday, December 05, 2009

Weekly Picks

Another horrible week, but at least I got my best bet. I just can't get anything going this season, incredibly frustrating.

denver -4 1/2 KANSAS CITY
Maybe the Broncos broke out of their doldrums last week against the Giants. Even so, the spread seems really small against a bad Kansas City team. The Broncos may be one of those teams that can beat bad teams but not good ones.

houston pick'em JACKSONVILLE
I think the Texans are another of those teams. I think they are actually pretty good but they just can't close games out. This week they won't need to against a Jacksonville team that laid a huge turd last week.

new orleans -9 1/2 WASHINGTON
I know the Redskins have shown some life the past two weeks in blowing games to the Cowboys and Eagles. It won't be a last second drive that sinks them this week however. This one looks like 38-3.

tennessee +6 1/2 INDIANAPOLIS
Like I've been saying, something strange is going on here. Both teams have been playing a lot of close games recently and I fully expect the Titans to put some points on the board. I wouldn't even be surprised if they won this game.

minnesota -3 ARIZONA

Brett Favre is just playing out of his mind right now. The Vikings could be a better team right now than either of the two undefeateds.

Last week: 1-4 (2 points)
Season: 27-33 (27 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (6-6)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (7-8)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (12-10)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (7-13)

We're Too Young to Die

I was saddened this week to learn of the passing of Janelle Dotts, a fellow alumnus of Susan Wagner High School Class of 1996.

I didn't really know Janelle all that well during high school, despite her being in many of my classes.

But I do know, age 31 is way too young.

Janelle leaves behind a 9 year-old daughter who heartbreakingly said “Mommy made the best spaghetti,” according to the obituary in the Staten Island Advance.

The Advance reports she died after a short illness, but no word on exactly what she had.

Janelle Dotts 1978 - 2009

Friday, December 04, 2009

What Do You Give Me For? Airline Passenger and Mark Mangino

What do you give me for former Kansas football coach Mark Mangino and an unidentified obese plane passenger.

This picture was reportedly taken by an American Airlines flight attendant upset at the gate staff for not stopping this passenger or making him buy two seats.

As for Mangino, he was forced to resign from Kansas after disparaging comments he made to players came to light. He reportedly threatened players that if they didn't work hard he'd send them back to wherever they were from. He told one guy whose brother was shot that he could go back to St. Louis and get shot with his homeys. A player with an alcoholic father was ridiculed as well. And speaking of ridicule, this is my favorite picture of Mark Mangino.

Not a good day for the morbidly obese.

obese airline passenger
Mark Mangino

Another Take on Tiger

You've heard my opinion on what really happened the night Tiger Woods drove his Escalade into a tree.

Now let's see what Taiwanese media thinks of the incident:

Maybe we can get Special K to translate

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Peter King Gets Duped

Peter King of Sports Illustrated is not only the best football writer in America, he seems like a really nice guy. And as a middle-aged guy he probably doesn't understand the whole Twitter-verse or the juvenile senses of humor of today's young people. It was probably some 20 year-old staffer who suggest Peter answer one Tweet each week in his freakin awesome Monday Morning Quarterback column:

I'm sure King had no idea that Ivan Poon wasn't this guy's real name, but that's the problem when these things aren't properly vetted by people with a middle-schooler's sensibilities.

Worst Toy Ever

A talking toy puppy that teaches babies their ABCs has a bite toxic enough to make it the most dangerous toy on a watchdog group's annual holiday list.

The $23.99 Love to Play Puppy, made by Fisher-Price, was among 24 toys that the New York Public Research Interest Group has declared unsafe.

The Love to Play Puppy, bought at a Manhattan Toys "R" Us, contains bromine, a fire retardant that can affect the reproductive system and cause birth defects, as well as mercury, which affects the organs and nervous system, according to the group.

Forget the chemicals, the reason not to get this toy is that it's so fuckin annoying.

Teammates with Great Names

The University of Colorado women's basketball team has Whitney Houston and Brittany Spears.

Freedo and Amber will be going to a game this season to try and get their picture taken with this dynamic duo.

Muppets Go Viral

Much like the Muppets took Manhattan, they have taken the Web.
Since debuting last week, the Muppet parody of the classic music video of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" has been viewed more than 8.6 million times on YouTube. It's an exceptional hit for the first video posted on a new YouTube channel by the Muppets Studio, the Walt Disney Company subsidiary formed in 2004 after the Jim Henson Company sold the franchise.
A Twitter feed has also been launched. (It's mostly promotional; Kermit isn't blogging.) And a Facebook page has been started.
Muppets Studio general manager Lylle Breier said the online push for the Muppets was designed to help reboot the franchise and quickly get new content to fans.
"When the Muppets came into real popularity was the '70s. What was popular in the '70s? Variety shows -- that's what `The Muppet Show' was," said Breier. "What's the Web? It's a giant variety show. That's why the Muppets fit so perfectly. Parody has always been at the heart of what the Muppets do."
Breier said the Muppets singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" had long been an idea on the back burner, but the project only recently came together.
In it, just about every famous Muppet character makes a cameo: Gonzo and his chickens appear in silhouette; Rowlf plays piano; Beaker supplies his normal "meep-meep-meep-meep"; Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem rock out.
Animal bangs on the drums and gets to channel Freddie Mercury, singing "Mama!" He repeats it instead of singing the full, child-unfriendly line "Mama just killed a man/ Put a gun against his head/ Pulled my trigger/ Now he's dead."
It's not the Muppets first foray into online video. Several videos were released last year, most notably including Beaker singing "Ode to Joy." More than 7 million have since watched Beaker's rendition.
Breier says more Web videos are on the way. A version of "Carol of the Bells" will be released for Christmas, and a handful of other videos will follow in 2010.
The purpose of the sudden Muppet expansion is partly promotional. The Muppets have also recently made appearances on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" and at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Last year's holiday special, "A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa" has recently been released on DVD and will air again Friday on NBC.
What is more important, a new, much-anticipated theatrical film is in the works. Jason Segel ("Forgetting Sarah Marshall") and his writing partner Nicholas Stoller have been writing a new Muppets film expected to return the franchise to its more acclaimed past.
"It's all part of a plan for new creative content with online, television, a new theatrical movie," said Breier. "We're bringing the Muppets back."

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

My Own Teammate

Florida Panther Keith Ballard swings his stick in frustration after Atlanta's Ilya Kovalchuk scores a goal, but Ballard whacks his own goalie Tomas Vokoun in the head. Here's the actual cut from the game.

Vokoun got a cut ear but as you can see in this longer clip they carted him off the ice on a stretcher. Luckily, he's ok and was able to fly back with the team.

Song of the Week

“That Smell” – Lynyrd Skynyrd

I heard this song a few weeks ago for the first time in my life. A few days later I heard it again. 31 years, never heard it. Two weeks, twice. Amazing. Anyway, the song is kind of weird but interestingly chronicles the band's problems with drugs.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Lady Killer

Since we posted the pictures of Chase with all his lady friends many of you have asked for his secret. As ZZ Top once said "every girl's crazy bout a sharp dressed man."

Chase's blazer

I Don't Have to Watch Because I Lived It

For several summers earlier this decade some of my friends had a summer house on the Jersey Shore.
The type of guido and guidette who frequented places like Headliners and DJais could not be explained, until now.
A new MTV show premiering December 3 at 10pm (special 2 hour season premiere) will attempt to chronicle the lifestyle of this strange subspecies of our culture.
Watch the trailer, trust me:

"I'm the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island."
The fact that at least one of these people is from Staten Island turns this into an even scarier version of "This Is Your Life."

the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore

Oh yeah, some people say the show is racist.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

What Really Happened

The biggest story in the world right is now is the mysterious car accident of Tiger Woods. Everyone wants to know what really happened, and a pretty obvious picture is surfacing.

Recent rumors of Tiger having an affair with New York nightclub hostess Rachel Uchitel surfaced. Tiger and Elin were obviously fighting about it, maybe Tiger got a strange text.

It was 2am the night after Thanksgiving and Tiger was taking some painkillers. They had a fight and Elin went crazy, she attacked him and scratched his face up pretty good. He tried to leave the house to go for a drive. She chased him down with a golf club (oh the irony) and at some point smashed the back window.

Distracted by the crazy woman chasing him, perhaps bleeding from scratches to his face, perhaps a little foggy due to painkillers Tiger crashed his car into a fire hydrant and then a tree.

But there are a few questions still unanswered.

First, why do the Woodses keep putting off their interview with the cops? Some say they are waiting for Tiger's injuries to heal so he can blame his facial scratches on the accident and the broken glass, but if he was already treated at the hospital those injuries would likely be photographed and documented and I believe that could be shared with the police in an ongoing investigation. Another possibility is that maybe Elin has a black eye or something that would incriminate Tiger.

And the second, and more puzzling question, why would Tiger cheat on Elin, his swedish bikini model wife?

I guess the old adage is true, "everywhere there's a beautiful woman, there's a guy tired of fucking her."