Saturday, July 21, 2007

Friday, July 20, 2007


A rash of security crackdowns by companies has led 3 Poopheads to tell me that their office recently blocked access to social networking sites including blogspot and this blog. If this happens to you I recommend you sign up for Google Reader and subscribe to the blog, by clicking on add subscription and type
This should let you and experience pretty much every feature, including youtube videos but you won't be able to post comments.
You know I love reading your comments so please either save them and send them from home, or e-mail them to me and I will post them under your pseudonym.
I hope this laxative works.

Strange Dream

I was on Mike and Mike in the Morning as a guest. We were on location in Cleveland and I was on to discuss Cleveland Indians who should be in the Hall of Fame. Not sure if I was book because of my knowledge of the Hall of Fame or the Cleveland Indians. Either way, we were standing, with Golic in the middle.

The topic turned to Albert Belle who will never make the Hall of Fame but whose candidacy I am a big advocate of. I prefaced my remarks by saying that I consider a candidate with a short period of dominance more worthy of the Hall of Fame than a player with a long career of numbers compilation.

Belle only has 381 homers and 1726 hits but over a period of 8 years he averaged 40 homers and 125 RBI. And two of those seasons were shortened. In 1994 and 1995 he was averaging one homer per 11 at bats or so and he was robbed about 65 games probably another 20 - 25 homers, meaning he could have hit one of those magic numbers, 400 homers.

But Greenberg was not swayed by this argument, especially when I used Eddie Murray (an Indian briefly, was Belle's teammate) as an example of someone who just compiled numbers, although I do think Murray was a Hall of Famer.

At some point Greenberg became belligerent and actually swung at me and hit me in the face. Golic broke us up, then I woke up.

But Albert Belle belongs in the Hall of Fame.

The Way Life Should Be

We're headed to Maine for our annual Poop Family Vacation.
We'll eat sandwiches (known as Italians) for lunch and lobster for dinner and we'll sit on the beach reading Harry Potter.
But I'll only have limited internet access.
So what does that mean for you Poopheads?
As always I've put the Poop in the capable hands of The Poop's design and IT consultant, TON.
I'll only be gone a week and it's not like TON has anything better to do this week.
I've left him with some posts that I've written in advance and given him free reign to write whatever he wants (I await his choice for Song of the Week).
I'll be back Saturday.

If He Changed It To Gay Douchebag That Would Be Infringement

Jon Bon Jovi wants the owner of the Mijovi energy drink to change its name, arguing it is too similar to his famous moniker.

But Marcos Carrington says his coffee-based energy drink is named after his girlfriend, whose name is Jovita.

In a Jan. 22 letter, Los Angeles lawyer Peter Laird, representing Bon Jovi, objected to the word "Mijovi" as well as other words "itsmijovi" and "itsmilife" that appear in the company's marketing materials and on the can.

"As you should be aware, one of Bon Jovi's most popular songs is entitled "It's My Life," the letter states. "We hereby demand that you immediately cease and desist all further use of the name "Mijovi' and "It's My Life.' "

But Carrington said the words "itsmijovi" and "itsmilife" are meant to mean "it's my jovial life." The full phrase on the can is "itsmienergy.itsmijovi.itsmilife."

Carrington says he's willing to stop using "itsmilife" on cans once an inventory of 3,000 cans is used up. But he says he's keeping the name Mijovi.

It's pretty clear this douche is "inspired" by Bon Jovi but big fuckin deal. No one cares about Bon Jovi anymore. For the first time in 20 years people talked about the band because of American Idol. Now they can go away again. Let the guy sell his energy drinks.

At Least She Had the Good Sense to Leave the Kids Out of It

A 20-year-old Syracuse woman who left children in her care to go pose for nude photos is facing several charges of endangering the welfare of a child.

Police say Michelle Rendino was supposed to be watching four young girls yesterday when she left them alone and went into the woods near Syracuse's Inner Harbor to have a man take nude photos of her.

A man fishing saw the children crying and called police. When police arrived, the oldest girl — a six-year-old — told police that "Aunt Michelle" went into the woods to take "nasty pictures."

Rendino says she asked the man to take nude photos of her so she could get back at her ex-boyfriend.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Song of the Week

"Definition" - Blackstar (Mos Def & Talib Kweli)
Two awesome MCs at the height of their powers, over an awesome beat.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Coffee Soda Juice

More Daniel Negreanu hijinks (please watch the whole thing, the middle is about poker, but if you don't watch the whole thing you'll miss the joke):

And the remix (notice the record company is 10-7 records, 10-7 is Daniel's favorite hand):

Paul's Poker Story

I finished 3rd in a $1 SnG last night.
I feel like I really played well, was patient, made one or two loose calls, but for the most part I sat back and waited then moved aggressively when I felt I had it.
On a board of K-Q-J-10 I went all in (I did have an ace), hoping the overbet would encourage someone with a 9 or two pair to call me.
It didn't work but I think it threw players off to my style of play.
I tripled up with a Qh-8h. The flop was 7h-8c-5h, so I pushed all in and got two callers. I made two pair on the turn and caught my flush on the river. One player made an obnoxious comment but the rest of the table came to my defense.
Later I saw a flop with pocket 3s but called a minimum raise on a flop of 3 overcards (normally I'll fold). I made a set on the turn and a fullhouse on the river. Didn't get paid too much on that one though.
My biggest hand came at the final table when I was 6th with 6 remaining. I tripled up with pocket kings. When it was down to 3 I was shortest but still had plenty of chips. I got dealt pocket 10s, raised, the went all-in after a reraise. My opponent had A-10 but caught an ace on the flop to knock me out.

Awesome Poker Website

I learned about a new poker website that may interest some of you.
It's called
Basically, it tracks tournament play for the top poker websites, you will need to register, but the site is free. You just need a player's screen name.
Hevad Khan, the 6th place finisher in the Main Event, plays a ton on PokerStars, and you can see his activity.
A lot of the Full Tilt Pros play under their full names, so it's fun to see how horribly Mike Matusow is doing.

Poor Pooch

An unfortunate collison between a yellow lab (a spectator's dog) and Marcus Burghardt, one of the riders in the Tour De France. Despite the limp you see the dog was ok. Despite the fall over his handlebars Burghardt was ok, but his front tire, not so much.

Sound not needed.

World Series of Poker Champ

Jerry Yang won the 2007 World Series of Poker Main Event. Yang started off the final table in fine fashion, making aggressive bets (opening pots for much more than the standard raise) and getting three knockouts really quickly (in all he knocked out 7 of 8 at the final table). At one point Yang had more than half the chips in play. He took a couple of big beats but rebounded to take a 4 to 1 chip lead into heads up against Tuan Lam.

Lam folded almost everything until he moved all in with 4-3 against Yang's A-9. Lam caught a 4 and some momentum. On the very last hand Lam moved all in with A-Q and was called by Yang with 8-8. A queen came on the flop, but the other four cards on the board were 9-5 (flop), 7 (turn) and a 6 on the river gave Yang a runner-runner straight, $8.25 million, the bracelet and fame and notoreity in the poker world.

Yang is already being criticized by poker players for his loose calls, overaggressive play and lucky card catching. The thing that separates Yang from Jamie Gold is that even on Yang's bad plays calling Lee Watkinson's all-in with A-9, came when Watkinson only had A-7, he did get all in with the best of it.

Yang is a very religious man and at one point he promised that if he won he would use the money to "glorify your name Lord."

Jerry Yang gets his picture on the Wall of Champions with Doyle Brunson, Johnny Moss, Johnny Chan and Huckleberry Seed

He also seems like a nice man, he has 6 kids and promises to give 10% of his winnings to charity including the Ronald McDonald House and the Make-A-Wish Foundation. He says he won't become a full time poker pro, but who knows.

Even though I followed almost every hand on the internet I still look forward to seeing it on TV in another 6 weeks or so. I have the feeling it's going to make Yang look like a card rack who doesn't know how to play, but his aggressive style won him this tournament.

A few side notes:
The final table last about 16 hours (including breaks).

The heads up match between Yang and Tuan Lam lasted 36 hands.

The 2004 WSOP heads up battle between Greg Raymer and David Williams lasted three hands.

The 2005 WSOP heads up match between Joe Hachem and Steve Dannenmann lasted six hands.

The 2006 WSOP heads up match between Jamie Gold and Paul Wasicka lasted seven hands.

In total the tournament lasted 36 levels, two hours each, over 7 days of play (there were 4 Day 1s and 2 Day 2s.

I can't wait to see Scotty Nguyen. He finished 11th but had made a huge move, but I think he got drunk and made two bad calls in a row very late Sunday night. He never would have let Yang run over the table like he did.

The first five players were out within the first 60 hands. Then they played 107 hands four handed. On the second hand of three handed play was another knockout. After each KO there was a short break, so they played two hands in about 45 minutes at one point.

This is the 6th straight year an unknown has won the title.

Will Yang become a decent and respected player like Varkonyi, Raymer and Hachem (good but not great) or will he become a joke luckbox like Moneymaker and Gold?

World Series of Poker Main Event Champion Jerry Yang poses with his prize money and his new favorite hand - pocket 8s

Why I Love Daniel Negreanu

This interview with Tiffany "Hot Chips" Michelle from typifies everything I enjoy about watching Daniel play. He always looks like he's having fun. This interview was done on Day 2 of the Main Event, right before he got knocked out.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Laughing At Other People's Misfortunes

I never realized how funny QVC & Shop At Home are until I saw the clips of these two unfortunate incidents:

Fun With Numbers

San Diego Padres relief pitcher Scott Linebrink, appearances:

2004: 73
2005: 73
2006: 73

Through 90 games, he's pitched in 41 games, which puts him on pace for 73 games (I rounded down because he can't pitch in 4/5 of a game).

St. Louis Cardinals first baseman The Fantabulous Pooh Holes, batting average:
2004: .331
2005: .330
2006: .331

He's only batting .315 so far this year, but has plenty of time for improvement.

This blog, page views last week:
Tuesday: 150
Wednesday: 150
Thursday: 137
Friday: 137
Saturday: 85
Sunday: 87

So close.

Bobby Cox Wears Crotchless Panties

Adam LaRoche got his revenge on the Braves for trading him to the Pirates this offseason.

Late in June, the Pirates played the Marlins in a day game in Florida while the Braves flew in from Washington for a series. Their uniforms and other trappings had already arrived and were hung in their assigned lockers at the Marlins’ ball park. Before the Pirates checked out, LaRoche fetched some scissors and cut the crotch out of every pair of underpants in the Braves lockers, and left a note behind that said, “Let it all hang out, fellas.”

Beef, It's What's For Japan

Former Major League Baseball manager Bobby Valentine and U.S. Meat Export Federation President Philip Seng show "Ryan & Bobby" special lunch boxes of rice topped with grilled U.S. beef and pork during a press conference in Tokyo Tuesday, July 17, 2007. Seng is in Japan to promote American meat in Japan, setting July as the special campaign month and selling the lunch boxes featuring portraits of Valentine, now a manager of the Chiba Lotte Marines of Japan's Pacific League, and his friend legendary MLB pitcher Nolan Ryan, at 1,000 yen (US$ 8.20).

In case you don't get Sports Illustrated you can read the article about Bobby V's success as a manager and icon in Japan.

1,000 yen seems like a lot for lunch meat
Bobby V as Mets fans will always remember him

More Gore

Brothers don't shake hands, brothers get gored by the same bull.
Lawrence and Michael Lenahan were gored by the same bull at the same time during Thursday's bloody running of the bulls.
Last year Michael was diagnosed with testicular cancer, and he finished chemotherapy treatments last June. The experience convinced him to live life to the fullest, including running with the bulls.
Lawrence suffered an eight-inch gash in his backside, while Michael took a horn in his right leg, the horn entering on his shin and tearing through skin and tissue up to his knee. But despite early reports Michael was NOT the man featured in this now famous goring photo, it's actually a Norwegian man with a bull's horn all the way up his leg.
Next month the Lenahans were supposed to run in a LiveStrong event (you can see the yellow bracelet on Michael's wrist), but instead they'll walk. And maybe next year they'll try skydiving.

The Lenahan brothers get gored

Because someone asked me: Since 1924 when records were kept there have only been 13 deaths, the last was an American in 1995.

Monday, July 16, 2007

When Worlds Collide

Much to my surprise Farrell Kaye (as Farrell Kellener) was a constestant on the World Series of Pop Culture.
Farrell was on a team called "The Truffle Shuffles" with the Museo brothers from Staten Island (don't think I ever knew them). He flamed out in the first category and his team lost in the first round.

Farrell Kellener and the Truffle Shuffles

In the interview, he was asked what he does in "real life" and this was his response: "I used to be a radio talk show host in Aspen and Denver where I met my wife who originally hired me to help run her modeling agency. Now I’m an aspiring writer hoping to succeed in writing movie scripts."

His appearance on the show generated new interest in my story about him.

I even got a comment from his wife (presumably) asking that I remove the photo of her children. I did.

The story of Farrell Kellener gets more interesting everyday.

Knocked Up

I know we're a little late, especially in our current situation to have waited six weeks to see "Knocked Up" after it was reviewed by both Dereks (Georgia and Pizza Parlor), but Mrs. Poop and I finally found the time to go.
A new theater opened up near us so we went to the matinee and got in for only $8.50 each.
I really enjoyed the movie, thought it was much funnier than 40-year Old Virgin because the humor was based on truth instead of ridiculousness.
I will never be a person who thinks screaming out "Kelly Clarkson during a chest wax" is funnier than the awesome faces Seth Rogen was making while sitting in the gynecologist's office waiting room. But maybe it's because I've made those same faces myself.

knocked up

If you've never had sex with a pregnant woman (or while pregnant) you might not understand why that scene was so damn funny and so damn true.
Any father to be could have told him how important it is (to the mother) that he reads the baby books.
There were a lot of funny parts, some of it awkward comedy bases on the douchebag friends (only Marshall was any good) but there were also some lulls, such as the stupid shroom trip in Vegas, which was only saved by Stormy's ginormous boobies.

Overall, I can see why some teens may not like the movie but if you've walked a mile in those shoes you probably will find the movie very funny, and a little too realistic.

Chuck and Larry Love the Mets

Kevin James and Adam Sandler visited Shea Stadium Sunday to promote their new movie "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry."
Chuck and Larry seems like a predictable funny Sandler movie with some requisite gay humor and other jokes thrown in before a happy/cheesy ending.
The movie could stand out from his last 5 movies though thanks to the incredibly hot Jessica Biel.
She takes her clothes off because they're wet, she makes Sandler touch her boobies and she wears glasses. She also dons a reeeeee-dick-ulous catwoman costume at a Halloween party. I think the gimmick is that she is trying to out them (as straight) but I'm not sure yet.


Back to the baseball game. Kevin James is a Mets fan, Sandler has always been a Yankees fan, but Sandler agreed to let Chuck and Larry be Mets fans, and at Shea, Sandler wore a Mets shirt. They took batting practice before the game, they met some of the players and they visited the booth during the game.
Keith talked to Sandler about a blister Sandler got on his finger during batting practice and James said "I always get a blister right here" and he pointed to the center of his palm. Keith missed the joke and answered seriously.
They stuck around for a whole inning (top and bottom), told a few more jokes (several fat jokes about Kevin James), Gary Cohen acted like he never heard of either them and then they want back to their seats in the front row. A couple innings later they were featured on "Kiss Cam" on the Diamond Vision, they gave a fake kiss.

Kevin James taking batting practice at Shea Stadium
Adam Sandler taking batting practice at Shea Stadium
Kevin James and Adam Sandler with Tom Glavine
Kevin James and Adam Sandler with Shawn Green, David Wright and Paul LoDuca