Friday, August 25, 2006

There's No Such Thing as Ghosts

But there are crazy old men.
Rumors had been flying around a high school near Columbus, Ohio that a local house was haunted. The home is across from a cemetery and overgrown with trees and weeds.
Three girls drove to the house and two of them got out of their car and took a few steps onto the property. They jumped back in when a girl still in the car honked the horn, and they heard what they thought were firecrackers as they drove away.
The girls drove around the block, but as they passed it again Rachel Barezinsky was shot in the head and shoulder.
A man who lives in the house, Allen S. Davis, was arrested but he told reporters Wednesday from jail that he was trying to drive off trespassers and didn't intend to hurt the girls.
Now the girl had surgery to relieve swelling in her brain and had been able to squeeze visitors' hands, but was having trouble moving the left side of her body.

Pretty young girl shot in head
crazy haunted house guy shoots girl in head

Angry Weatherman

This incident spawned an incredibly hysterical song.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Sign of the Times

We Sure Are
Diesel Can Read

Dana's Wedding

Now that Nails is signed for the bachelor party, and he got advice from Carlos Delgado about his yarmulke problem, only one question remains.
To book a hotel room or not to book a hotel room.
Mrs. Poop made our reservation and we hope a lot of you other guests will do the same.

Another Jew Moves to New York

Shawn Green, who is Jewish, discussed the move [to the Mets] with his wife (he did have a no-trade clause), and the two decided that the move had value because of New York's large Jewish population. New York City is 11 percent Jewish and has the second-largest population of Jews outside of Tel Aviv with an estimated 972,000.
"It's definitely head and shoulders in the country and probably the world," Green said. "I'm looking forward to being a part of it. It will be an interesting and fun experience."
Carlos Delgado has kept his head shaven for years and seldom thought twice about it. But his smooth scalp created a problem when he was a member of Green's Jewish wedding party in 2003.
Delgado had to wear a yarmulke during the service, but the yarmulke wouldn't stay on his head.
The solution: two-sided tape.

42 Years Ago

On August 23, 1964, teenagers went crazy as British Beatle Mania kicked off with a concert at Shea Stadium. A band of Beatles impersonators performed in the right field corner during every half inning break meaning none of our favorite games were played and we didn't learn any Spanish from Professor Reyes.

It was also Polish Heritage Night at Shea though, meaning a pregame polka concert, which included a polka version of Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman."

Not the Best Word Choice

New Jets running back Kevan Barlow is getting himself into some hot water with some poorly thought out comments about his former coach Mike Nolan. He was upset with the trade, mainly because Nolan assured him he wouldn't be dealt.
Barlow said Nolan was a "first-time head coach with too much power. He walks around with a chip on his shoulder, like he's a dictator, like he's Hitler."
Don't invoke Hitler's name. Call the guy an asshole, not Hitler.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Great Acquisition

A third round pick for T.J. Duckett? Great move by the Redskins, even though there will likely be another pick thrown in there based on the conditions of the deal.
The Redskins needed some insurance in case Clinton Portis is hurt for a longer period of time. Duckett can do everything Ladell Betts can do, just a little bit better.

Which Tribe Will Justin Like?

Fueled by critics who slammed its lack of diversity, CBS's Survivor has unveiled a new twist for its upcoming season: Contestants will be divided by ethnicity.
When it premieres Sept. 14, Survivor: Cook Islands will feature 20 castaways divided into four tribes: black, white, Asian and Latino.
"We're going to take some heat for it," says creator and executive producer Mark Burnett of the twist, which was announced Wednesday morning. "But it's a great cast."
For a show entering its 13th season with steady ratings but ebbing buzz, the decision could be a shot in the arm if it once again generates Survivor water-cooler chatter.
"Some people will think this is controversial. Others will think, 'What's the big deal?' " host Jeff Probst tells PEOPLE. "Either way, it's going to be very interesting."
Along with the usual real-estate agents and struggling actors, the cast of characters competing for the $1 million purse includes a heavy-metal guitarist, a female police officer who has been shot in the line of duty, a Vietnam War refugee who manages a nail salon and a gay fashion director for a denim company.
The segregated Survivor grew from an effort to diversify a show that has featured primarily white contestants (and winners – only two of the 12 winners have been minorities). "We've taken a lot of flack," says Burnett.
But Probst says the main reason for the Emmy-winning show's largely white complexion was a dearth of minority applicants. "Most of the people who apply are white," he says. "That's just a fact."

Recent Acquisitions

I am lukewarm on the two newest Mets. I like the Gulliermo Mota signing because it comes with no risk and if he doesn't work out Willie Randolph won't feel obligated to keep using him.
I am a little less thrilled with Shawn Green. Once a beacon of light for Jewish athletes everywhere, now he is just an average player. The Mets will only owe him $6.3 million for the rest of this year and next (Arizona is picking up the other half), but they also will have to pay him $2 million if they don't exercise his option for 2008.
His 49 home runs in 2001 are the most ever hit by a player to play for the Mets, other than Willie Mays.
But Green is not the same player anymore. In fact, at this point I doubt he is even as good a healthy Cliff Floyd. And the Mets pretty much just made that trade for next year. Floyd is definitely out the door, and should a great outfielder become available there won't be room for him.
This will also stunt the growth of Lastings Milledge, whom Willie clearly hates anyway.
But with Floyd hurt and struggling this year I can see why Omar pulled the trigger. The Mets only gave up Triple-A pitcher Evan MacLane, a 23-year-old left-hander.

I Wish Lobsters Had Split Hooves


Dogs on a Porch

Kate and Paul with Diesel in 2006
Kate and Paul with Frannie in 2003

Diesel in Maine

Diesel loves the beach
Diesel swims like a seal
damn paparazzi photographing me while I'm swimming
damn waves
salty dog
shake it like a polaroid picture
best picture ever
Diesel and peepa Dennis

Huge Signing

We usually don't post press releases but this one is pretty big.


Using an escape clause in my contract...I have formally signed for and will be attending the Fat Scott BP. My trip starts off on JetBlue airways at 6:45pm for the Dolphins game...the only airline that will show Daunte throw all over the Steelers. I will be staying on a cot in the [sports] Book at the Mandalay Bay. Lets go STATE [Penn].

Glad Nails will be joining the roster for what is shaping up to be a fully attended event.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Pedro t-shirts
Sea Dog biscuits

My New Shoes

Got a pair of Marbury's new shoes, the Starbury 1. Got em in all black. I like em. Don't seem worse quality than any other sneaker on the market.

Disaster Averted

Tom Glavine will be back in 7 to 10 days.

Too Bad No One Cares About Wrestling Anymore

Otherwise it would be pretty cool that SCZA and Pizza Parlor Derek met WWE superstar John Cena.

Celeb Sighting

Walked past Big Boi and Andre 3000 this morning. They are both very short. Didn't get to talk to them but a friend of mine said they showed up late and clearly had been out all night partying. Both guys were chill and cool and treated everyone nicely. The arrived with one bodyguard and one female of indeterminite job description.

Mike Piazza Helps Catch Idiot

An 18 year-old Long Island boy snuck into the Mets and Padres' clubhouses on August 10th, using a fake NBC ID and a fake press pass. When he asked his hero Mike Piazza to pose for a picture with him a security guard threw him out of the clubhouse.
Then Mets security and the police got involved and when the kid, Ryan Leli, came back on Friday for the Rockies game, the police were waiting for him.
Leli was charged with criminal possession of a forged instrument, falsifying business records, larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, criminal impersonation and criminal trespass and apparently impersonating a journalist, which I had no idea was illegal. I'd better stop.
Leli faces up to seven years in prison if he's convicted.

No Wonder He Sucked

Finally figured out why Kaz Matsui sucked. He was wearing gloves on his feet.

Ah, Staten Island

Staten Island, where even the little kids curse. The Island was going crazy over the Mid-Island All-stars making it to Williamsport (they lost their first two games) one of the players was caught on the coach's mike imploring his team to...listen for yourself.

You can also see the coach give the player a little nudge to remind him that he was miked. Little League Baseball deemed that inappropriate touching of a player and both of them have been reprimanded.

Big Little Leaguer

Aaron Durley, of the Dhuran, Saudi Arabia team is the bigger 13 year-old I've ever seen.
He's taller than all but 9 current major leaguers.
His team also has a 6-foot-3 kid and a 5-8 225-pounder.
Followers of the team says it's just a coincidence that they have so many tall kids.

Maybe It's the Manager's Fault

Blue Jays manager and former Mets backup catcher, John Gibbons, had an altercation with pitcher Ted Lilly.
Gibbons you may remember challenged Shea Hillenbrand to punch him in the face.
Ted Lilly may have taken him up on the offer although reports that Gibbons had a bloody nose seem to be untrue.
Lilly was staked to an early 8-0 lead but was yanked from the game in the third inning as he seemed poised to give it all back.
Lilly and Gibbons argued on the mound. And when Lilly finally left the field Gibbons followed him to the clubhouse. Out of the view of cameras a scuffle ensued as all the players from the dugout scrambled underneath to help break it up.
Both sides say they are sorry and just got carried away.

Like When Cory Pushed Alan

Mets draft pick, Jeremy Barfield, 18, was arrested shortly after 8 a.m., when family members reported to authorities that he had pushed his father, Jesse Barfield, 46, down a flight of stairs.

Jesse Barfield was taken to Northwest Memorial Hospital, where he was treated and released, authorities said.

"(Jeremy) and his father had some kind of argument that apparently took place on the stairs in his house," said Harris County Sheriff's Department Lt. John Martin, a spokesman. "The father was lower on the stairs than Jeremy was and ... at some point during argument, Jeremy shoved him and he ended up falling down the stairs and struck his head pretty hard on the floor."

Jeremy Barfield was expected to be charged with a Class A misdemeanor for assault. The Harris County District Attorney's office had accepted charges, Martin said.

How He Got the Nickname

"There are some at-bats where one can't afford to fail, the same is true during the intimate moments. Take Elevex. Take it from me, David Ortiz (big wink) 'Big Papi.'

Announcer: Elevex. 36 hours of pure masculine sexual potency."

Monday, August 21, 2006

I Need Uncle Paul

The cutest pair
Uncle Paul is the best because he's childlike
blocksmore blocks
corn me too
I need corn
have you ever seen a 20-month old eat hummus?
who bought her this ridiculous outfit

I Hate Poker

Played a Full Tilt freeroll this afternoon. Was doing well, had twice my original stack with about 700 players left out of 1800.
Then I see a flop with 9-4 in the small blind. Flop is q-k-9. I bet 200 get a caller. Turn brings another 9. The other guy is on a short stack so I put him all in. He has q-9. I lose 1800.
On the very next hand I see a flop with a-4. Flop is 10-A-A. I make a 400 chip raise and the same guy calls me. A jack comes on the turn and I push my last 1000. He has K-Q and made a straight on the turn.

Don't Say He Never Taught You Anything

Bill O'Reilly ends every episode of the Factor with a warning to e-mailers. Last week, we learned a new word, don't be a clinchpoop.

Better than what he usually says:

Friday Night at Shea

Caught the Mets-Rockies game Friday night at Shea with my father and my father-in-law. On the way in the Mets photogs, caught Dennis and I, and we stopped for a photo.

Later on they came by our seats and all three of us got in another picture. Dennis looks angry.

Then Professor Reyes taught us how to say "I am handsome." Yo soy guapo. One guy said "goo-ah-poh" and Jose tsk-tsked him.

In Mets make a deal, someone traded in a David Wright action figure and got my favorite prize, the rubber chicken.

Mystery Met was the most difficult one of the year.
I was a first round pick of the Mets in 1977.
I led the NL in sacrifice bunts in 1984.
I finished my career in Seattle in 1993.

Name That Pooch

Conservative talk radio host Bill Bennett, he of the gambling debts and the unique approach to crimefighting, has a new dog. He is asking listeners to submit names. Semper Fido is the leader so far.

How come he didn't get a black lab?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Bad News at the Recap

Something strange is going on with Tom Glavine.