Friday, August 07, 2009

Mazel Tov to Big Pelf

Mets starting pitcher Mike Pelfrey and his wife welcoming a new baby boy this week.
And here's where the Universe started to have some fun with us.
Little Pelf was delivered by the same doctor who delivered Little Reissberg.
The Pelfreys named him Chase.
Chase Pelfrey weighed in at 7 pounds 14 ounces, the exact birhweight of my Chase.
Mike will miss his scheduled start in San Diego on Saturday and instead will pitch Monday against Arizona in Chase Field.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

If the Fires Don't Get You the Ovarian Cysts Will

You migth remember this picture of a poor little koala burned in a fire, rehydrated by a nice fireman. That little act of kindness bought Sam six more months on this earth. But destiny caught up with her, she died of ovarian cysts.

poor sam the koala

She'll Be Annoying the Reissbergs for the Next Few Years

"Elmo, long the trade mark character -- and cash cow -- of "Sesame Street," is getting competition.
When the popular children's program returns for its 41st season in November, Elmo will be sharing the spotlight for the first time with another puppet, a 3-year-old fairy-in-training, Abby Cadabby.
The purple-and-pink, pigtailed pixie is getting her own daily segment -- a strapping nine-minutes long -- on the long-running PBS series.
Though Sesame Street officials are reluctant to say it, it now appears that a new character is being prepared as the show's next big thing.
"She is fearless and curious -- like Gracie Allen meets Daffy Duck," says puppeteer Leslie Carerra-Rudolph, who has voiced the cuddle-ready character since she was introduced in 2006.
In just three years, Abby has been splashed on everything from toddler T-shirts and DVDs to a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. She is also a fan favorite on the Sesame Street Live tour."

Abby Cadabby's famous line: I gotta poop

I love "Sesame Street" and frequently watch it with Chase. The show is smart, educational and full of great spoofs. Some of the puppets can be annoying (though I love Telly and Baby Bear) but Abby Cadabby is by far the most irritating character on any TV show.

First of all, she's a fairy, but she screws up all her spells and turns everything into a pumpkin. Her voice is grating too. And most importantly, she always forgets the number and letter of the day. The only good thing about her is that she loves to read and loves words, especially "silly words like plop and poodles."

While Elmo's World can be a little much at times, I can't imagine what they are going to do for 9 minutes with an inept fairy.

I've Seen A Lot on NYC Subways

But today was the first time there was ever a mariachi band in my car. I wanted to ask them if they knew "na na nanana nanana nanuh."
But we were already at 34th street. I didn't even have time to take a picture.

I Can't Believe I Even Have to Put This To a Vote

Other than the surprise that Kara actually wore a bikini and the hatred for Bikini girl's tired gimmick and annoying voice, there is no way anyone can Kara has a better bikini body than Katrina Darrell.

Katrina was hotter before, but her breast implants make this a no contest

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Song of the Week

"Make You Crazy" - Brett Dennen
Nice cameo by Mandy Moore, her sexy feet and of course her huge boobs.

What Do You Give Me For? Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel

What do you give me for singer/slutbag Katy Perry and actress Zooey Deschanel (yes 2 Os is correct) star of "500 Days of Summer" (in which she says her nickname in college was "anal girl" -- because she was really neat) and "Elf" (Mrs. Poop's favorite holiday movie).

Katy Perry
Zooey Deschanel

Lookalikes suggested by Jems who has a ridiculous crush on Katy Perry and got so excited when he thought she was the star of "500 Days of Summer" and is very disappointed that it is actually Zooey.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Our Long National Nightmare is Over

Paula Abdul is out of American Idol!
So happy

I think the plan by the producers to get rid of her has been in the works for several years. It started with the hiring of Kara continued with granting extensions to everyone but Paula and ended with a lowball contract offer. They didnkt want to fire her and look bad so they gave her an insulting offer knowing she would quit.

No one is going to miss Paula. I know some people say they like to watch a train wreck but it gets old after a while. The show will be so much less annoying without her.

The next problem is that Kara sucks and has no credibility with the male viewers after ripping off her clothes and getting embarrassed in comparison to Bikini Girl's smoking body.

And since the producers now are out on a limb for Kara they will never admit their mistake and get rid of her if she continues to annoy America the way she did last season.

The Almonds are on My Side

I've recently been involved in a heated (pun intended) debate with some people at work.
I sit here everyday sweating my balls off while they are huddled over their computers wrapped in blankets.
But I now [corrected] have evidence to support me.
A sign was taped to the candy dispenser in the kitchen.
In case this picture is unclear it says "During the warm weather, it may be necessary to firmly hit the globe a few times before you insert your quarter in order to loosen the product."

the dark chocolate almonds got my back

Warm weather? We're inside. Shouldn't there be air conditioning? Comfortable room temperature is between 68 and 72 degrees. I think it probably has to be close to 80 degrees before dark chocolate almonds would start melting together.

Tiger Rips One

Tiger Woods allegedly caught on camera farting at the Buick Open

I can believe some people actually think this is a real fart. No one, not even the great Tiger Woods farts like that. I think someone in the gallery downloaded the iFart application on their iPhone and let one rip during a quiet moment. Loud enough for Tiger to hear it and make him laugh, but no way that was real, unless the camera was literally up his ass.

Funny or Douchey?

Mattress dominoes

At first when I saw this I thought douchey, but when I saw that some people set up too close the person in front of them and got wacked really hard in the torso by the falling mattress, I changed my vote to funny.

Seinfeld Reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm

Larry David tells E! about the running plotline for the new season of "Curb" which revolves around a "Seinfeld" reunion.

"The context is that for years I've been asked about a Seinfeld reunion," he says. "I would always say, 'No. There's not going to be a reunion show. We would never do that. It's a lame idea.' And then I thought it might be very funny to do that on Curb. I kept thinking about it. I started to think of different scenarios and how we can pull this off. I called Jerry and Jerry was game. I said, 'Well, I'll call the others.' And I did and we did it. So we're doing a Seinfeld reunion show on Curb."

"We're going to see writing. We'll see aspects of the read-through, parts of rehearsals. You'll see the show being filmed and you'll see it on TV. You won't see the entire show. You'll see parts of the show. You'll get an an idea of what happened 11 years later. It will be incorporated into regular Curb episodes, so the castmembers will be playing themselves on Curb while all of this is going on."

"The reunion is scattered through the season and I think the cast will be on five shows. All four won't be on all five shows. Jerry is on five shows; the others will be on at least four. The season finale will be about the reunion show. It could very well be [a one-hour episode], but I haven't finished editing it yet. But that's a good possibility."

When asked why he finally caved, he says, "That will be answered in one of the episodes. That's a big thing because I would never do that. So there's a compelling reason as to why I decided to do it."

"Coming up with the right ideas for what's happened in the 11 years, that took some thought. Three of the guys working on my show as executive producers were also producers on Seinfeld. I think we came up with some interesting stuff."

He says "it's possible" there will be a mention of Richards sordid past.
So will the character Larry ruin the reunion of the Seinfeld cast? He adds, with an evil laugh, "He might. My guy might consider wrecking something like that. We'll see what happens. My guy could very well wreck it. I'm not saying he did. I don't know."

Will the reunion be any good? "Yeah, you mean as opposed to the finale?" jokes Larry. "It's good. I think the reunion is pretty good."

Monday, August 03, 2009

I Hope No One Gets a Splinter

I missed a couple hairs while shaving, and the offending follicles were disturbing me so greatly at work that I went to the first aid kit and took the plastic disposable tweezers in an effort to pluck the hairs. Unfortunately it didn't work and the hairs are still sticking out of my cheek.