Friday, March 12, 2010

Poker Heist

Four men stole about $136,000 when they stormed the Grand Hyatt Berlin during a European Poker Tour event. The cameras were rolling and focused on 2009 WSOP bracelet winner Carsten Joh when all hell broke loose behind him.

Four men wearing black motorcycle masks entered the Grand Hyatt Berlin, where they threatened a cashier with pistols and a machete, while stuffing several bags with cash.

Eight people were slightly injured during the heist, including seven tournament participants or spectators who were injured while attempting to flee.

There were 20 players left when incident happened and it took several hours to piece together all the chip stacks as most of the tables were knocked over in the commotion.

But there was one interesting hand in progress at the time:

Ilari Tahkokallio raised to 70,000 under the gun, and Luca Cainelli moved all in from the big blind. It was another 503,000 for Tahkokallio to make the call, and he did.

Cainelli was at risk with ace-queen and in good shape to double through Tahkokallio's ace-10.

The flop was K-8-3 and the turn was a 4.

Then all of a sudden there was shouting and a wall of people running away from the tournament room entrance toward (and on top of) the main event tables. In the scramble, tables were overturned and chip stacks knocked over, but somehow the board and the players' hands remained on the table.

After the tumult the tournament director, told Ilari Tahkokallio and Luca Cainelli that if either of them did not want to carry on with the hand, then they would chop up the pot and move on to the next hand. In good shape to double up, of course Cainelli said that he'd like to play out the hand. Tahkokallio stands to lose almost 600,000 chips in the hand and has only three outs with one card to come. But rather than call it a wash and take back his chips, Tahkokallio said that he'd made the call and it was only fair to see the river.

An incredible act of sportsmanship. He did lose the hand but ended up finishing second for a prize of €600,000 or $817,000.

945 players paid the €5,000 ($6800 U.S.) buy-in. The winner got €1 million or $1.36m.

Blame It on the Burritos

Judging by the tweets from Syracuse basketball players during their stay in New York City for the Big East Tournament, they need to be more careful when crossing the street and practice some better nutrition.
I love Chipotle's Burrito Bowls as much as the next guy but it's not exactly fuel for great athletic performance.
And certainly not two nights in a row, Scoop!

Deal or No Deal?

Syracuse's 91-84 loss to Georgetown in the Big East Tournament = No Deal

The injury to Arinze Onuaku = Huge Deal

Despite two late season losses Syracuse is still a very good team, and they earned their number one seed by winning the country's best conference by two games.

But without Onuaku national championship hopes are out the window. In the wisdom of Jim Boeheim, he never plays more than 7 guys in a season so in case of an injury the whole season goes down the tubes.

While other coaches use players like Kyle Kuric and Vee Sanford, Boeheim buries his reserves so deep on the bench they often transfer.

a low point for the coach of the year

Boeheim says Onuaku has only a mild strain but he's not a doctor so Onuaku is going for an MRI just to get a second opinion.

If he's hurt and can't play SU is fucked and will probably be dropped to a 2 seed and knocked out early.

If Onuaku is healthy this team still has a chance to win the national title and should be favored to come out of its region to the Final Four.

If that's the case then maybe something important will come out of this loss.

A little overconfidence may have set in among the players and the fans.

My life as a sports fan is cursed and as soon as I even think good thoughts about one of my teams the rug gets pulled out from under me.

I guess it should come as no surprise that SU lost two straight when Billy began researching steakhouses in Indianapolis and I began bragging that it would be an upset if SU didn't make the Final Four.

Properly chastened I will have my game face (and lucky drawers, which I had forsaken recently) on and hopefully so will the players when the real games begin next Friday in Buffalo.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Syracuse vs. Georgetown Big East Quarterfinal

I'm trying to dismiss the second loss in a week because I know this team is really good but Georgetown and Louisville have exposed some major weaknesses. I'll get into them more as a tournament preview, but SU will still be a 1-seed, they still have really good players, but some issues that didn't exist a week ago are bugging me now.


SU hasn't gotten one steal with this pressure but it has resulted in so many points for Georgetown this game is now officially out of reach. And every fuckin time Georgetown turns it over the refs bail them out with a foul call.


Rautins just makes a bad pass and a worse gamble on defense. 79-72, this game is very close to over.


Jim Boeheim is a fuckin asshole. Scoop just cut it to two, he kept the press on, Georgetown broke it easily, getting an easy basket, a chance at a 3-point play and the 4th foul on your only big man. Down two with 4 minutes left why take that risk? Coach of the year my ass. He still is the worst coach I've ever seen.


The refereeing has just gone too shit. Johnson hit in the face, no call. A Georgetown player falls on his own and they call a foul. Georgetown is missing tons of free throws though. SU within 4.


Fuck, he is being helped off. Fuck! Shit! We can't win anything with 6 players.


Oh shit, Onuaku is on the floor writhing in pain. Not good.


This full-court press never works for the Orange. They give up way too many easy baskets in it. Georgetown cannot miss right now. There's no way to catch up when your opponent is hitting every shot.


Georgetown is hitting everything, and SU isn't even getting shots off. It's getting taken away everytime. Down 9 with 6 minutes to go, not good.


Georgetown opening up a 5-point lead thanks to a 13-0 run. Georgetown is scoring every time they have the ball, and easily too. This game is getting away from the Orange very fast. 68-61.


Rautins just jacked 2 3s and made another bad pass, now Scoop jacked one. Terrible offense right now. Georgetown by 3, SU fading in the second half again.


Another 3 for Georgetown, SU is starting to rush on offense, Georgetown within 1.


Pat Riley is at the game. He was at Baylor-Texas over the weekend. He's like an old grizzled baseball scout at this point. Subsisting off press box hot dogs and lugging his radar gun everywhere.


Rautins is really playing well, the layup, a great pass to Jackson and a 3. But everything he does, Georgetown is answering right now. After starting 1 for 9 from downtown Georgetown hit 4 of the last 7.


Andy Rautins just drove the lane for a layup. I'm not sure who was more confused to see Rautins that close to the basket, Georgetown's defense or Rautins.


The second hald starting off the same way the first half did, 5 points from Wes and more bad turnovers.
The zone is not bothering Georgetown at all, 45-44, SU.


Halftime. SU leads 40-37 but they need to stop making so many damn turnovers, 11 in the first half. 12 for Wes Johnson, 10 for Scoop.


I think that was the highest-arcing pass in the history of basketball, but it worked.


When Georgetown is getting the ball insided they are getting good shots, especially off passes from Monroe. But they are still shooting 3s, 2 of 10 from downtown. But that includes the last one to cut the lead to 34-30.
Jackson and Onuaku and 1 for 4 from the field. How does that happen? They never shoot more than 5 feet away.
10 turnovers, yikes!


Scoop Jardine is so much better than Brandon Triche, but Boeheim can't start him because they'd lose the electric Scoop and K-Jo bench duo.
Johnson just broke up a layup with a foul on a fast break, so Georgetown gets two shots, trailing 26-21.


Georgetown just fell asleep after a made basket and Kris Joseph ran past the whole team for an awesome layup. JT III called an instant timeout and scolded his team. Joseph (Big East 6th man of the year) is instant energy off the bench, he's already hit a 3 also, 21-19, Syracuse.


Looks like Georgetown figured out the zone. They are being patient, passing it around, shooting from the outside and grabbing offensive rebounds. 8-0 run, Georgetown leads 14-11.


6 minutes, 6 turnovers, 4 of 5 from the field. They have to button up this passing. Most of them have been easy passes too.


Chase just came in from school, already got his first "Go Syracuse!"

The Big East Player of the Year already has 8 points. I was actually surprised he got it instead of someone who scores more. I think he was 16th in scoring during conference play. But he's playing like it right now as SU leads 11-6 despite three bad passes.


So Wes Johnson was the Big East Player of the Year, someone should tell Dave Pasch. He's already mentioned it five times, not even bothering to call him Johnson, just saying "Big East Player of the Year..." on his first basket.


Dave Pasch, Doris Burke and Fran Fraschilla. Why do we get the B-team? I need Raf in case someone hits a big shot late in the game.


ESPN is playing the cheesy Big East Tournament rap, it's game time!
Keep hitting refresh and I'll keep going throughout the game.
Feel free to join in via the comments section.


Syracuse plays Georgetown for the third time this season. The first two losses were so embarrassing for Georgetown fans that VW unfriended me on Facebook due to the humiliation and shame.

I don't really care what happens in this game, because Syracuse is locked in to the number 1 seed in the Houston/South region with opening round games in Buffalo.
Yes, you like to win but I don't want the team to play three tough games in three days.
I care so little about winning this tournament I allowed Diesel to be without the Syracuse collar he's worn all season in favor of a seasonal one.

I did think it was a little bit of a sign that I saw a cab with the Syracuse ad on top, New York's College Team.

3000 Words

Think of this next time you want to complain about your job (Chase looked at this and said "he going poopies daddy"):
Elephant dung

Joannie Rochette, the most memorable Olympian of the 2010 Winter Games:
Joannie Rochette

Lego Stephen Hawking:
Lego Stephen Hawking

He Rehabilitates Dogs, He Trains People

After years of helping Cesar Millan bring troubled dogs back to balance, beloved pit bull Daddy died at age 16.
I once walked behind Cesar and Daddy on an escalator and poor Daddy did not like getting on the escalator. But being the calm, submissive dog that he is, Daddy followed Cesar.

Daddy, often referred to as America's pit bull ambassador because of his gentle disposition and intelligence, lived with the Millans from the age of four months when rapper Redman gave Daddy to the then-unknown dog behaviorist. He stood as a champion for calm-submissive pit bulls everywhere, and was instrumental in helping to repair their image as violent and uncontrollable.

As fans of Millan's hit National Geographic Channel television series Dog Whisperer know, Daddy was a key fixture in more than 50 episodes, often assisting Millan with his toughest cases, bravely interacting with and calming the most unmanageable dogs with his natural balanced energy.

Cesar states: "I've always seen Daddy as my teacher of life. He brought my family and me so much joy over the years. Personally, he represented what my grandfather taught me, never work against Mother Nature. He will be greatly missed, but his spirit lives on."

Daddy's Emergency Animal Rescue Fund will provide funding and assistance for dogs who are victims in large-scale disasters (hurricanes, fires, and other natural catastrophes), man-made disasters (hoarder and puppy mill rescues), and animal victims of abuse or violence.

An initial contribution by the Millans and the Dog Whisperer team has established the fund in Daddy's honor.

If you would like to honor Daddy's memory and the contributions he made to improving the lives of animals, you can make a donation by visiting

No One Will Play With Me is running a series of great games: one for championship week, and in addition to the tournament challenges for men's and women's brackets there are two other NCAA tournament related games to be unveiled on Monday.

Sign-ups for all these games are available now and so far no one as joined my groups, called Paul's Poop.

There is also a new MMA game. It's a little easier than fantasy UFC, this one requires you to pick the straight winner of every match on UFC 111.

So join in fuckers before I kill you all.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Mrs. Poop Was Right

Several years ago I used this blog to pump a great new show called "How I Met Your Mother." I think I converted some of you successfully and we've all spent many years enjoying the show together, you dumb slut.
Now I am turning my attention to "Modern Family."
A few notes:
This is Mrs. Poop's favorite show
I didn't even watch it at first, but she raved so I downloaded the first 12 episodes and caught up and now I love it too
It is a little gayer than HIMYM, it has 2 gay characters and one gay actor (tied with HIMYM)
The humor is more absurdist and awkward, similar to the early years of "The Office" complete with mockumentary interviews.

But the show is hilarious and Sofia Vergara has huge boobies. Huge!

Google Hates Sidney Crosby

Looks like Googlebombing is becoming more popular. After using Google's autofill feature to besmirch Chinese people the internet kids are now attacking Canadian hero Sidney Crosby.

An Idea for Razor's Next Pitch Meeting

TV commercial:

Hi, I’m Monique. When I won the Academy Award for my role in precious I gave my acceptance speech with hairy legs. I used to hate shaving, but ever since I got the Schick® Intuition Plus® I shave everyday.

It lathers, shaves and moisturizes in one easy step so there is no need for shave gel, soap or body wash.

Now my legs are smooth and my husband doesn’t sleep with random women and I don’t have to pretend I’m ok with it. All thanks to the Schick® Intuition Plus®.

Song of the Week

"Unbelievable" - Notorious B.I.G.
It's unbelievable that he's been dead for 13 years.
Biggie Smalls is the illest.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010


Lindsay Lohan thinks the famous milk-a-holic baby of the same name was based on her.
She is suing E-Trade, saying the boyfriend-stealing, "milkaholic" baby in its Super Bowl commercial was modeled after her.
And she wants $100 million for her pain and suffering.
Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.
"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit," Ovadia said.
"They used the name Lindsay," Ovadia said. "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."
Chris Brown, a spokesman for Grey Group, which produced the spot, is throwing cold milk on the controversy, saying it "just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team."
Ovadia said E-Trade has violated Lohan's rights under New York state civil-rights law and used her "name and characterization" in business without paying her or getting her approval.
She says Lohan is owed $50 million in exemplary damages, plus another $50 million in compensatory damages.

New York's Coming Population Explosion

"I have seven kids that live in five different states. I made some wrong decisions in my first two years in the league. Now I have to take on the responsibility of being a father to my kids. I can separate my personal life and off-the-field issues from football...The mothers [and I] try to work out a schedule where I can see my kids. I talk to them on IChat and Skype. We try to find different ways for me to be in their lives, no matter how it is.''

That quote comes from the newest Jet Antonio Cromartie. Moving to the East Coast may allow him to expand his reach to a few more states. New York and New Jersey should be no problem assuming they're not already on his list.
Cromartie is in the last year of a 5-year, $12 million contract.
He'll be paid $1.7 million this year but he can't wait until the season starts to get his first paycheck. He asked the Jets to front him $500,000 so he can stay current on his child support payments.
How much child support could this poor guy be on the hook for?
$4,000 a month seems outrageous and even that only amounts to about $336,000 for a year.
If he really has his life together the Jets got a good player for a bargain basement price because the Chargers don't want to deal with his issues. If not they only have one year at a reasonable cost.

Maybe She's a Virgin Too

Too bad I didn't get to post this while she was still on the show but Janell Wheeler, the first person eliminated from the Top 24 on this season of American Idol used to date (but presumably not bang) Tim Tebow.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Oscar Fashion

This year's Oscars were kind of disappointing as far as fashion goes. There weren't any chicks slutting it up and looking really hot. And even the worst dresses weren't that bad.

Zoe Saldana looks really good, until you get to her knees.
zoe saldana

This is what Molly Ringwald looks like these days:
Molly Ringwald

Does this dress make J.Lo's ass look big?
jennifer lopez

What was Charlize Theron's motivation here? What was she trying to say with this piece?
Charlize Theron's flowertits dress

The Women of Fox News

I too appreciate them for their brains.

Be discreet with your comments, thanks!

The Unedited Anne Frank Diary

Some parents in Virginia are objecting to their children reading "The Diary of Anne Frank" in schools.
But not for the reason you might think.
The problem is the school was using the unedited version of the diary for 8th grade students. This includes some passages that are often deleted.
A mother of an eighth-grader at Floyd T. Binns Middle School became concerned about an entry in which Frank describes having erotic feelings for another girl and another in which she describes what her vagina looks like. The mother did not want the book removed, she said. She was asking that her daughter not be required to read the book aloud, as the class had been doing.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

I Guess He Meant It

One of my favorite moments of the Olympics Games came when U.S. Curling skip John Shuster missed another shot and said "I'm sick of this stupid game."
Announcer Colleen Jones said "he doesn't mean that" but then Shuster and his team withdrew from the U.S. Championships.
They cite physical and mental exhaustion as the reason but poor results probably caused all that.
Shuster is probably tired of reading about himself on the internet, though he does have a sense of humor about it saying he liked the "Honk if John Shuster Missed a Draw to Cost You a Curling Game" bumper sticker.

Maybe There is Something to This Petter Northug Stuff

"My name is Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset. I skied the second lap and I fucked up today. I think I have seen too much porn in the last 14 days. I have the room next to Petter Northhug and every day there is noise in there. So I think that is the reason I fucked up. By the way, Tiger Woods is a really good man."
-- Norway silver medalist Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset, on his performance in the men's 4 x 10 relay

This is an actual quote. I swear I did not make this up.