Friday, March 05, 2010

A True American Hero

On June 21, 1964 Jim Bunning pitched a perfect game against the Mets on Father’s Day.
Until recently, that was the crowning achievement of Bunning’s life.

Jim Bunning pitches a perfect game against the Mets in 1964

Last week Bunning single-handedly blocked a bill extending unemployment benefits.
Normally, I wouldn’t bother writing about the obscure inner workings of the Senate but I feel this is important.
Bunning was ripped by just about everyone for supposedly not caring about people who are out of work.
But Bunning was making a point, the government can’t afford to give money to anyone -- no matter how much they need it – if the government doesn’t have it.
No matter how sad you are for the people in Haiti, it doesn’t make sense to give them so much money it puts you in debt, especially when you are already maxed out on all your credit cards.
I know the above analogy is not perfect because at least some of that money will come back to the government in tax receipts, but the point is the same, the government shouldn’t spend money it doesn’t have.
In fact, this is the what got us into the mess, people spending money they don’t have. It wasn’t the evil bankers, it wasn’t George W. Bush nor Barney Frank, it was individual people like you and me who bought houses they couldn’t afford and they didn’t pay their bills.
Many of Bunning’s critics, those who aren’t personally attacking him like MSNBC, are agreeing with Bunning’s point but saying this is not the right time to make this stand.
When it’s actually the only time to make this stand. Bunning is retiring, no politician seeking re-election could afford to take such an unpopular, non-populist position.
And he knew the bill was going to go through anyway, and likely made retroactive, so no one lost anything because of his stance.
Except for maybe the reporter from ABC News who ambushed Bunning on a Senators-Only elevator asking him to explain why he was blocking the bill. That would have been fine if Bunning hadn’t already explained 1000 times that he was blocking it because the Senate couldn’t figure out a way to pay for it.

Note: I hope liberals choosing to argue this point will come up with something better than "George W. Bush sucks."

The Yankees Sign an Old Crafty Veteran

MLB Network's Harold Reynolds and Hazel Mae interview the Yankees non-roster invitee to spring training.

Here's the link

This is actually pretty cool. He is at spring training and I guess they have a camera set up to do this. Pretty funny idea. I wonder if its just Yankees camp or every team.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

It's Soul Food People

As Black History Month comes to its conclusion I want to make a point that I feel is long overdue.

Earlier this month Questlove of the Roots posted picture of the menu for a lunch NBC served in honor of Black History Month.

The menu included fried chicken, collard greens, black eyed peas (not the shitty group with Fergie) and cornbread.

NBC's black history month menu

Now the obvious reaction is to be outraged. How dare NBC suggest black people like to eat fried chicken and collard greens.

But there is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not an embarrassment to like fried chicken.

These foods are part of black culture. Just like Chinese food, Italian food and kosher food are part of those cultures.

Yes, it can be insulting to pull your eyes back and say “moo shoo pork” in an affected voice or to say Sandy Koufax’s best pitch is the Matzo ball or to say Bobby Engram fumbled because he was eating fried chicken at halftime.

But that doesn’t mean we should rob black people of credit for a valuable contribution to our culture just because of white guilt.

Is Farting at Work Not Kosher?

An employee at the Jewish Theological Seminary is suing, claiming she was fired as retaliation for complaining about her boss's farting.
Roberta Feinsmith of Fair Lawn, NJ was doing great at her job for 12 years until Alan Cooper was hired as her supervisor.
She claims he had daily cursing and yelling fits and unleashed "constant barrages of...flatulence" in her work area.
After her repeated objections Cooper sent an e-mail saying they needed to get rid of older workers. The 67-year-old Feinsmith was fired the next day.
That will teach her to complain about someone's gas. I bet she thought her farts smelled like roses.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Wednesday Wangdoodles

If you love “Modern Family” but hate all the funny jokes you’ll love “Parenthood.” NBC’s new plan for a better lead-in to local news is to make people cry so hard they forget to change the channel.


A few quick notes about the wedding I went to last week.
Mrs. Poop went under 2.5 on Shirley Temples.
The DJ went under 1.5 on Lady Gaga songs, playing only “Poker Face.”
We also hit the under on number of people lifted in the chair during the Hora. That was set and 2.5 and only the bride and groom went up. What a shonda, you gotta get the parents in the chair. I guess that’s what happens when I don’t step up and take over.


I have gathered a lot of opinions on the Storm-Heiser fiasco and this is the consensus: “Hannah Storm is hot, especially for a 47-year old. That particular outfit was awful. But Tony Kornheiser should not have said anything about it, at least not the way he said it.”
Can anyone honestly disagree with that statement?

What Do You Get When You Have a BeDazzler and a Vagina?

Jennifer Love Hewitt explains the concept of Vajazzling to George Lopez (the best part starts at 2:40)

"It looks like a disco ball down there!"

The procedure was made popular by New York City's Completely Bare Spa, as a post-waxing add-on service. An esthetician decorates your newly-hairless pubic region with stick-on Swarovski crystals in the design of your chioce.

Story Suggested by Mrs. Poop

Song of the Week

"Bust it Baby Part II" - Plies featuring Ne-Yo
The rap verses in this song are some of the worst I've ever heard.
"Keep your name in my phone under the name 'lil boo'"
"I just gave her a nickname it's 'wet-wet' cuz when we finish she mess up all my bed set."

But the Ne-Yo parts are awesome.
"Girl I'm gonna do everything I can, to prove I'm a better man, than your friends, think I am."

But most of all I love samples and the creative use of them and this one borrows brilliantly from Janet Jackson's "Come Back to Me"

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Post-Olympic Hangover

Final thoughts on the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Petter Northug led Norway to a come-from-behind silver medal in the cross country relay. He passed two skiers who had a big lead on him when he started his leg. Al Trautwig, calling the race for NBC said “Here comes Northug with his world class pole push.”

He also won the gold in the 50k, the so-called marathon of the winter. I haven't watched this race yet, but I will, hoping for more gold like that.


Tanith Belbin roomed with Johnny Weir in Vancouver. She says they have the best-smelling room in the Olympic Village.

Tanith Belbin and Johnny Weir


Even a curling novice such as Mrs. Poop could easily identify the difference in skill level between the teams in the medal round and the U.S. team. Canada’s Cheryl Bernard could pass a curling stone through the eye of the needle then get cougar-iffic on a couple of 22-year-olds at a bar later that night.


NBC really has to figure something out about their coverage for 2012 and 2014. Both of those games, in London and Sochi, Russia will take place several hours ahead of U.S. time zones. If NBC continues to insist on packing every important event into a primetime show the ratings will get even worse.
At Beijing Michael Phelps's races were scheduled for 10am local time so they could be shown in primetime here.
In Vancouver figure skating ended late, but at a reasonable enough time for a lot of people.
With Facebook, twitter and the web everyone knows the results of anything important by the time NBC shows it. I think they have to re-evaluate and show live events throughout the day on NBC.


Donald Sutherland looks like a homeless man, not a famous actor. During one of the curling games the cameras caught him blowing his nose. Not sure why I found this so funny, but I did.


Great showing by the U.S. hockey team, beating Canada, having an astounding outburst against Finland then scoring in the final minute to send the gold medal game to overtime. They didn't win but they were certainly fun to watch.


For some reason I loved these games more than any Olympics I can remember possibly dating back to Calgary in 1988. The U.S. wins the most medals of any country ever, and Canada wins the most golds, maybe making it a little more excting. Plus a DVR makes it easy to watch all the events I want to see while eliminating those I don't care about.

Bring on Sochi!

New Dancing with the Stars Cast

I guess Erin Andrews is giving up on the whole serious journalism thing. Despite her claims that the whole nude video thing was a complete embarrassment capable of ruining her career. She seems perfectly willing to take advantage of the opportunities afforded to her when she became a household name overnight simply by standing in her hotel room looking hot. Ask Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton and they’ll tell you Erin took the easy way out. I guarantee Andrews will once again be willing to show off her smoking ass, in Keibler-esque outfits.

Erin Andrews will likely wear half as much on Dancing with the Stars

Others who will be dancing with Andrews:

Kate Gosselin – I’m so sick of her at this point. She behaved irresponsibly, took advantage of her kids, acted like a bitch, chased her husband away and somehow people still care about her.

Kate Gosselin’s hair extensions – anything is better than a mullet

Chad Ochocinco – I understand he’s refreshingly different, but the problem is he isn’t all that funny. Most of his stunts don’t amuse me, they’re just designed to get attention for himself. He was pretty good on Hard Knocks but when idiots really expect him to change his name back after getting dominated by Revis, you know his cult has gone too far.

Pamela Anderson – a washed-up disease-riddled skank

Nicole Scherzinger – an absolute smoking hottie, whom I’ve written about before. Her exotic look and dance background could make her a winner.

Nicole Scherzinger has a good chance to win this season

Btw, Erin Andrews also has a dance background dating back to her days on the University of Florida Dance Team, the Dazzlers.

Erin Andrews as a Florida Dazzler

Evan Lysacek – Olympic hero, might have an advantage because of his figure skating background which teaches him to set a routine to music. Confirms suspicions that Johnny Weir is not the only gay U.S. male figure skater

Buzz Aldrin – They always need someone elderly but I feel badly that a true American hero is stooping to this level

Shannen Doherty – It’s not 1991 anymore

Niecy Nash, Aiden Turner, Jake Pavelka – the girl from the Insider, a soap guy and the Bachelor, complete non-factors all

We're Number One

There’s an often quoted line from “Pulp Fiction,” spoken by the Wolf to remind Jimmy, Vincent and Jules that even though they had set the stage making it possible for them to get away with Marvin’s murder, nothing had been accomplished yet, and praise at that point was premature: “Let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.”

It was the Wolf’s way of reminding everyone that a job is not done, until it’s done. If the Wolf were a Syracuse fan he’d be reminding us of that right now.

Syracuse is ranked #1 in both major polls, for the first time in 20 years. This is what fans and alumni get excited about (as the great Petey Bell said "the only time the alumni ever jerk off is when we win"), and rightfully so but no one will consider this season a success if SU doesn’t at least make the Final Four.

Right now 2003, is the best season in SU history, and 1987 and 1996 are tied for second.

This could be the best SU team of all time, but only if they win a title.

Yes those are high expectations, but what else would you demand from the best team in the country?

How Blackberries Save Marriages

Today I was sent to the store to buy chicken, milk and a green pepper. I came back with chicken, milk and a red pepper.
I know I would have gotten yelled at so I provided evidence and avoided an argument.
Thanks modern technology, what would I do without you?

sorry we have no green peppers today

Monday, March 01, 2010

Chase's Heel Turn

Ever since Team Canada beat Team USA in the gold medal hockey game something happened to Chase. He called me a hoser and starting chanting "Go Canada Go!"

Sunday, February 28, 2010