This is How Trump Wins

The town of Fair Lawn is an uproar over a lawsuit filed by the ACLU (the A stands for American) against the town's school district over policies it says discriminate against children of undocumented immigrants.

According to the complaint, Fair Lawn school district policy requires that parents provide a driver's license and automobile registration when registering their child for enrollment in the district. The group called these requirements "an impermissible and discriminatory registration hurdle" for children of undocumented immigrants, because a person without a Social Security number or valid immigration status is unable to obtain such documentation.

I'm sure the majority of you reading this are die-hard Hillary Clinton supporters who despise Donald Trump and have written all Trump supporters off as racist and xenophobic. But it's issues like these that resonate with people.

TP For My Bunghole

The night before Halloween is often referred to Mischief Night as teenagers too old for trick-or-treating try to have some fun by wreaking havoc on the neighborhood.
Tonight, after we put the kids to bed Mrs. Poop noticed a police car parked in front of our house and about ten teenagers milling about on our lawn and in the street.
After the police car left and the kids dispersed, I went out to look around. This is what I saw in my bushes:

I would have only been mildly annoyed if I'd had to clean 7 rolls of TP out of my hedges in the morning, but it's a lot better than a carton of eggs, or damage to my personal property (Snoopy dog house).

I actually think I heard one kid try to encourage the others to go through with it after the cop pulled away, but I heard one say "it's not worth it."

Seven rolls of toilet paper ditched in the bushes, I'm not one to waste so I brought them inside and I'm going to use them to wipe my ass.

The Rapper Next Door

Rapper Jim Jones was charged with disorderly conduct and hindering apprehension by the Fair Lawn Police Department. Jones, a Fair Lawn resident whose real name is Joseph G. Jones, 37, was arrested in the morning on Feb. 13 after he was questioned by police about a vehicle on Ward Street.
Police say Jones's car was ticketed on February 6th for a parking violation, and it had not been moved in the days following the big snowstorm on February 8th. This obviously creates a problem for snow removal. Since the officer thought the car to be abandoned, he was in the process of having it towed.
That's when Jones came out, he agreed to move the vehicle and pay the towing fee. The officer did a background on Jones and found two outstanding warrants, one for $43 for failure to remove snow from the sidewalk and a $150 warrant for failure to yield to an emergency vehicle.
Jones got angry when questioned about the warrants and attempted to flee while being arrested.
Just a typical day in Fair Lawn. Actually, I'm glad the police arrested this hoodlum. In 10 years as a Fair Lawn resident it's the first time I've heard of the police doing anything other than sitting behind a work site with their lights flashing. Not criticizing the FLPD, just saying it's a pretty boring and quiet town.

Now back to Jones for a second, he is the the leader of the rap collective, The Diplomats or Dipset, with his friend Cam'ron.

His biggest hit was "We Fly High."



But I like this newer jam, "Mary's Prayer."


Story suggested by Pa Beers

Junk in Our Trunk

In order to have give the children of Fair Lawn a memorable Halloween in light of Hurricane Sandy, the town arranged two "trunk or treats" at local schools. Here's how it works. You park your car in the lot and hand candy to children out of the trunk, or in the cases of SUVs and minivan, out of the rear hatch/door. The event was scheduled to run 5:30 - 7:30, so we got there at 5, to make sure we got a parking spot.

And to decorate our car.

By 5:20 kids had started trick or treating. It's much more efficient and easier to go car to car in one big parking lot where everyone is a willing participant than it is to go door-to-door ringing bells while grumpy neighbors pull the blinds.

But by 6:00 we were out of candy. Many people who came to trunk or treat but couldn't get into the parking lot, or didn't want to get trapped, at least gave their candy to other people to give out. But many others did not. We went through 11 bags of candy total.

The firefighters supervising the event originally told us we had to stay until 7:30 but they eventually relented and let the first wave of cars leave. Since we had all run out of candy. The trunk or treat went well, it could use some improvements, but hopefully we won't have to hastily arrange a Halloween alternative because of downed power lines for a very long time.

And the kids had a blast and got a lot of candy...

...three pound's worth. And that's really what matters.

Here's a few Halloween bonus pictures:

Me, scaring a 5th grade banana at the Radburn Elementary School Halloween Dance.

Chase dressed as Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Julian as Nemo. And yes, this is the best picture of the two of them in costume.

And Julian wearing the Cobra Kai costume.

Is Farting at Work Not Kosher?

An employee at the Jewish Theological Seminary is suing, claiming she was fired as retaliation for complaining about her boss's farting.
Roberta Feinsmith of Fair Lawn, NJ was doing great at her job for 12 years until Alan Cooper was hired as her supervisor.
She claims he had daily cursing and yelling fits and unleashed "constant barrages of...flatulence" in her work area.
After her repeated objections Cooper sent an e-mail saying they needed to get rid of older workers. The 67-year-old Feinsmith was fired the next day.
That will teach her to complain about someone's gas. I bet she thought her farts smelled like roses.