Friday, November 13, 2009

Chase Cheers for Laurie

A brief low-quality, low-light clip of Chase from the Laurie Berkner concert.

Happy Anniversary Blessing in Diguise

A year ago today I was called into an office and told my services were no longer needed.

The month that followed was extremely difficult, filled with anger and worry about what was to come of my family and my future.

The other 11 months have been filled with hope, hard work and a renewed discovery of my skills and value. And some extra cash, thanks to the 12 weeks of severance I collected while working at my new job.

While I didn't know it at the time, on that day one year ago, The Universe gave me exactly what I needed.

I said it back then, that this would work out for the best and unquestionably getting laid off was the best thing that could have happened for me.

I'd Pay $1000 For This

The government is selling all of Bernie Madoff's shit including this too-sweet 80s-era Mets satin jacket personalized with Madoff on the back.
The Wall Street Journal says this item will go for $500 - $720 but I think it will fetch $1000 easily.

Bernie Madoff's Mets satin jacket

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Furious George Did This

In a shocking episode of Oprah they unmasked Charla Nash, the woman whose face was destroyed by Travis the domesticated (or so we thought) chimp, dubbed Furious George.

Nash lost her nose, hands, an eye lid and lips. Surgeons had to remove her eyes in April due to an infection.

She walks around with a hat and veil, but Oprah lifted that veil. Nash has bandages over her scalp, no eyes, a bloody scar where her left eye used to be and a chunk of skin, transplanted from her thigh, in the middle of her face where her nose and mouth once were.

Underneath that hunk of flesh is a hole where her surgically rebuilt tongue is, allowing Nash to softly speak. She is hoping to get a face transplant (like Connie Culp and James Maki) including a mouth and new lips, so she can eat again.

I did not include the picture in this post because it would be disturbing to most if not all of you, but if you want to see it, click here, but don't say I didn't warn you.

A Long List of Very Specific Rules

I have never worked as a waiter or held any other job in a restaurant but I like rules, espcially ones that only sticklers follow. Other than that I can't really explain why I enjoyed the New York Times's list of 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do.

I recommend reading the entire list but for those of you with ADHD (Juice and the Juicette) here are some selected favorites with my own commentary.

2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
I would go to the movies, even to sporting events alone, but I would never eat out alone. Isn't that why they invented takeout. Even so, I can see how "are you waiting for someone?" is a bad question to ask.

12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
Keep your grubby fingers away from where I put my mouth.

23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
This would never happen with me but seems like a good idea for the oenophiles among the Poopheads.

38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”
39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
I guess that would make singing "Dude Looks Like a Lady" a double no-no. I can see the prohibition on "dude", especially at a classy place, but what's wrong with lady? I actually prefer it to woman, and I think most ladies would prefer it to ma'am.

41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.
I say no problem all the time but I'm working hard on using "you're welcome" instead.

62. Do not fill the water glass every two minutes, or after each sip. You’ll make people nervous.
This one's for The Concierge.

73. Do not bring soup without a spoon. Few things are more frustrating than a bowl of hot soup with no spoon.
As someone who orders soup nearly everywhere I go, this one is particularly close to my heart. Though I can say it doesn't happen too often. But I think this rule may have been inspired by the old joke. "taste the soup -- ah-cha."

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Best Mets Seasons All-Time

Mets Weekly did a series this year on the best individual season by a Met in team history. The only rule, no player could have more than one season on the list.

10. Johan Santana - 2008
9. John Olerud - 1998
8. Jerry Koosman - 1969
7. Jose Reyes - 2006
6. Mike Piazza - 1999
5. Carlos Beltran - 2006
4. Darryl Strawberry - 1987
3. David Wright - 2007
2. Tom Seaver - 1971
1. Dwight Gooden - 1985 [corrected]

Number one is easy, and reviewing it, the rationale for making 1971 Seaver's year is fine with me as well. David Wright's 2007 is a little too high, as is Santana's 2008. I like some seasons by lesser lights like Robin Ventura (32 and 100 in 1999), Bernard Gilkey (30 and 117 in 1996), Lance Johnson (in 1996 he had exactly the same OPS as Reyes in 2006) and Craig Swan (led the NL in ERA in 1978). But I think the biggest omission is Howard Johnson's 1989 (36 and 101 plus 41 steals).

Proud to Be An American

On this Veteran's Day I had the privilege of meeting Marine Corporal Aaron Mankin. I shook his hand (his left one) and thanked him for his service.

In 2005, Mankin was a Marine combat correspondent assigned to cover Operation Matador, a mission to root out insurgents near the Syrian border north of the Euphrates River. Mankin was riding in an amphibious assault vehicle when a massive explosion from an IED made from old artillery ammunition rocked the 26-ton vehicle.

The violent blast threw Mankin down inside the vehicle. When the instant haze of chaos and concussion cleared, Mankin opened his eyes. He was on fire.

The incident left Mankin with 25 percent of his body burned. His genetic predisposition to generate unusually high amounts of scar tissue caused his facial features to gradually contort, eventually twisting and fusing his nose and mouth area so much that his mouth shrank to a tiny, taut opening about an inch below an asymmetrical half-nose that, without its natural tip, displayed irregularly large nostrils and an upturned look.

Mankin underwent about 40 surgeries, including myriad skin grafts and an operation to open his mouth back up so he could eat normally.

Cpl. Aaron Mankin

I hope all of you take the time today to think about those who are risking their lives so we can continue to write blogs or whatever shit you do that you wouldn't be able to do in most other countries in the world.

Sammy Sosa is White

A shocking new picture of Sammy Sosa shows the slugger's skin has dramtically whitened since his baseball career ended.
Several possible explanations: vitaligo, some kind of condition caused by steroid use or perhaps he's bleaching his skin like Michael Jackson.

One theory ruled out, bad lighting. His wife looks the same in both pictures:

"It's a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some," Sosa said during the "Primer Impacto" program at the Univision Spanish network.

"It's a cream that I have, that I use to soften [my skin], but has bleached me some. I'm not a racist, I live my life happily," said a smiling Sosa during the interview.

Song of the Week

"SpottieOttieDopaliscious" - Outkast
This might be the most universally revered song in the history of music. Every single person I've ever spoken to about it absolutely loves it. When I first met Mrs. Poop she owned "Aquemini" and I asked her which her favorite track is. After saying "Rosa Parks" at first, she changed her mind and said "track 12."
That's when I knew I found my SpottieOttieDopaliscious angel.
Or maybe it was because "her neck was smellin sweeter than a plate of yams in extra syrup and her eyes were beamin like four carats apiece just blindin a [African-American gentleman]."

"Funny how shit come together sometimes ya dig
One minute you frequent the booty clubs
The next four years you and somebody daughter
Raising your own young'n"

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Shouldn't They Have Let Albany Score 5 More Points?

Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim got his 800th career victory in a 75-43 win over Albany.
In 1976, Syracuse beat Harvard 75-48 to give Boeheim his first career win.

Note: Syracuse forced Albany into 32 turnovers with its trademarked 2-3 zone. In the previous game, a loss to LeMoyne, SU worked on its man defense -- and allowed 50 points in the second half

Boeheim didn't let the occassion stop him from displaying some classic stupid faces.

I feel old because I was at the game when Boeheim won his 500th.
Even though I hate Boeheim I do kind of like the t-shirt which Manny's is selling for $15, only problem is, shipping is $10. But if anyone wants to order one maybe we can join forces and defray shipping costs.


I'm Not a Playa I Just Crush A Lot








Monday, November 09, 2009


Syracuse lost to LeMoyne, a Division II cross-town rival. There's a chance this just was just a temporary blip, one that doesn't even count because this was just an exhibition game. It's possible Syracuse will be galvanized by this loss and with Arinze Onuaku inside, Andy Rautins outside and Wes Johnson in between they will make another run to the Sweet 16.

What I fear is more likely is that with the departure of Jonny Flynn, and Boeheim having run off two other good players (Paul Harris and Eric Devendorf), this could be an entire season full of embarrassing losses -- which could (looking on the bright side) finally lead to the retirement of Jim Boeheim and the ascension of Mike Hopkins.

If the latter situation is to happen one of those losses will come December 29th. That's because Nails and I are going to see the Orange play Seton Hall at the Prudential Center in Newark. Anyone wishing to join us should notify Nails soon because we are getting the tickets shortly.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Can't Blame the Cat for Trying

Uri Man hits on Fox News's Ainsley Earhart during an interview. Only problem is, he was too transparent. First rule of pick-up lines, the girl shouldn't know they're pick-up lines. But looking at her in the yellow dress I can understand what motivated his feeble attempt.