Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Kate Upton and Snoop Dogg Team Up and the Results are Sensational

"You Got What I Eat" - Snoop Dogg featuring Kate Upton

This new Hot Pockets commercial is probably the best commercial for anything ever. And it features a cameo from Lil Bow Weezy.

Funniest Francesa Film Since the Fat Fuck Fell Asleep

Have you ever wondered what Mike Francesa's radio show would have been like if it took place in 1776, around the time of the American Revolution.
Well wonder no more.

Mike Zaun (psuedonym) perfectly captures the essence of Francesa here. He's a jerk, who think he's always right, but in fact is frequently wrong. He drinks a lot of Diet Coke, condescends to callers, and cuts them off (even when they are trying to propose to their girlfriends) and repeats people's names over and over again (like Joe DiMaggio).

The NFL is Poop - Week 5

Game of the Week and Maybe the Year
Denver Broncos 51 Dallas Cowboys 48

The Redskins were not playing. The Chargers-Raiders game was postponed. The Cardinals-Panthers game sucked. There was no reason to do anything else but watch the Broncos and the Cowboys. And if you did, you saw a brilliant game. Tony Romo had a ridiculous game, he chucked the ball all over, he scrambled like a maniac and he hit two huge passes for 161 yards between them.
But he wasn't Peyton Manning. It's hard to imagine throwing for 500+ yards and being the second best QB in the game, but Peyton Manning was just masterful. And it wasn't just passing, He ran for a touchdown and no one saw him. Easiest TD in NFL history.
Just watching Manning was a thrill. He hit almost every pass, carving up the Cowboys defense. Nearly every pass was perfect. I actually think the game plan hurt the Broncos though, they ran 31 times at barely 3 yards a carry, and they were passing at 10 yards an attempt. I feel like trying to run on first and or second downs sometimes backed up the Broncos into tough spots on third down. Not that it really mattered.
The 99 points scored in the 4th most in NFL history for a regulation game. And the record for points by a losing team is 49.
What a disappointment for Tony Romo to have not only had a chance to win this amazing game but he only needed 49 more passing yards to breaking the single game record. Instead he threw a bad interception ruining what was already the best game he ever will play.

Quick Quarterback Quips
Last week people were comparing Tom Brady to Peyton Manning because of what he was doing, with so much less help around him. I guess we can stop that now.
Matt Schaub has Steve Blass disease. Is there an NFL quarterback version of that, when a former good guy just stops being able to throw on target? He's the first quarterback to have interceptions returned for touchdowns in 4 straight games.
Cam Newton had two great games to start his career and since then his slide has been precipitous and mystifying. He should be better, but he isn't. And may never be.
I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with Eli Manning except that bad protection is causing some of it. I do believe he will bounce back and be good again, but it may not happen this year.
Even though his team won, something is clearly wrong with Colin Kaepernick. He's take a detour on the road to superstardom. I hope he finds the on-ramp real soon because I loved watching him last year during San Francisco's playoff run.

The Class of the Class of 2012
Robert Griffin III may never be completely healthy again. Brandon Weeden, despite some great throws, lost his job to Brian Hoyer, and since he's already 30 his days as an NFL QB may be limited. Ryan Tannehill may turn out to be pretty good, but a star, I doubt it.
That leaves Andrew Luck and Russell Wilson to represent what was supposed to be the best quarterback class in 30 years. I still have my doubts about Russell Wilson, I don't think he is a great passer, I think he is a very heady quarterback who makes correct decisions at a very high rate. But I also feel playing with a defense and running game this good has helped aid his rapid ascension.
But about Andrew Luck I have no doubts. I really think he is going to be a huge star, and he's going to have games like the one where he shredded an excellent Seattle secondary, quite often. He may also throw up some stinkers every once in a while, but he's going to win Super Bowls.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Maybe Tony Romo's arm will be tired.

Game of Next Week
New Orleans Saints at New England Patriots

Even though the two teams could be tied after this game, things are looking a lot bright for NO than NE right now. But I strongly believe that if you switched supporting casts Brady would be slinging it all over, and Brees would be screaming at teammates. Jimmy Graham is so awesome, and every time he leaps over two defenders for a pass, Brady will remember that he used to have not one, but two guys just like that.

Picture of the Week
Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Denver Broncos 51 New Orleans Saints 48

Denver's defense looked horrible, especially allowing two huge passes. You can't get away with allowing receivers to get deep behind you in the playoffs? Isn't that right Denver?

Song of the Week

"Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe" - Kendrick Lamar
I actually hated this guy when I heard his first hit, "Swimming Pools", warmed to him when I heard "Poetic Justice" and now I actually kind of like him.