Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Song of the Week

"Call My Name" - Avery Sunshine
The quintessential neo-soul jam. Smooth, well-sung, with feeling and emotion.
I wish Mrs. Poop and I had more problems in our marriage so I could dedicate songs like this to her.
A great way to end 2014.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

What Do You Give Me For?

What do you give me for the extruder tool in the Play-Doh Cake Mountain play set and...oh never mind.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Why Does Jim Boeheim Have To Be Such An Asshole?

Last year I actually defended Jim Boeheim when the rest of the world was calling him an asshole for his unvarnished assessment of Tyler Ennis's pro potential.
But I can no longer defend him for making nasty comments about his own players.
About freshman point guard Kaleb Joseph, Boeheim said "He's just not really a point guard yet. He's trying to learn how to play point. It's going to take a long time, too."
If you evaluate this statement based on how true it is, it could be fair and accurate for an outsider to say, but it's totally rude, insulting and counterproductive for a coach to say this about his own player.
And even worse is what he said about Chris McCullough who was projected by some (though not Boeheim) as a potential lottery pick in the upcoming NBA Draft: "He's a lottery pick, I don't know how he could possibly struggle against Colgate. It just doesn't make sense to me. I've got a better chance of winning the lottery and I don't buy tickets."
There is absolutely no reason for him to be so rude, condescending and downright insulting about someone for whom Boeheim plays a large role in his success. Why is he constantly tearing down his own players in the media? Does he think they're arrogant and need to be taken down a few pegs so he can build them back up? He's not a drill sergeant so more likely he's just an asshole who doesn't care about the players.

NFL Playoff Predictions

Ravens over Steelers
Colts over Bengals

Patriots over Ravens
Colts over Broncos

Patriots over Colts

Panthers over Cardinals
Cowboys over Lions

Packers over Cowboys
Seahawks over Panthers

Packers over Seahawks

Super Bowl XLIX
Green Bay Packers 27 New England Patriots 21

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Weekly Picks

Final week before the playoffs and it's always hard to tell which teams are going to come to play, because you'd just expect the out of it teams to lie down like dogs for the teams that still have something to play for, but it doesn't always work that way.

MIAMI -6 1/2 new york jets
Last week was the final valiant effort under Rex Ryan. Seems only fitting for his era to end with an embarrassing loss.

MINNESOTA -6 1/2 chicago
I actually like the way the Vikings have been playing and the Bears are in complete chaos. Cutler got benched, Clausen got cheap-shotted and concussed and now Cutler is back. Not expecting his best game.

new orleans -4 TAMPA BAY
Even thought the Saints never showed up when it mattered, I don't think they will lie down in this game and they have plenty of talent to beat the ExpensiveCornPrices by 5 points or more.

arizona +6 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
The QB injuries make the Cardinals one of the weirdest teams in NFL history. They're nearly touchdown underdogs against a bad team in game in which they could possibly clinch homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.


I just don't see any way in hell the Packers don't dominate this game considering how much their Super Bowl chances will decrease should they lose.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 39-41 (35 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (6-10)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (13-16)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (12-11)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (12-13)

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Song of the Week

"December" - Earth Wind & Fire
They literally changed two words from "September."

Monday, December 22, 2014

Digital Good Samaritan

Trusted friend, caring sister, beloved Aunt and former shaving products magnate Razor is adding a new title to her long list of superlatives, she is now a digital good Samaritan. Over the weekend she found instagram posts threatening the police like one from "Woodgramflexinn" which said he was on his way to New York to kill two more cops. She forwarded it to a tipline for the NYPD, which then alerted authorities in his area (Tennessee) which went to the guy's house and determined the threat was not serious. The Fox affiliate in Memphis contacted Razor and eventually wrote this article about the incident.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Weekly Picks

I'm really disappointed because I was going to pick the Bengals as my best bet last week because I really don't believe in Johnny Football as an NFL QB. I feel the same way I did about Tebow, great college player who won't translate. He can throw better than Tebow but has less size and almost none of the intangibles, not that I really care too much about intangibles.

CAROLINA -4 cleveland
I'm actually a little concerned here because I think everyone is going to pick against Cleveland and I really think Manziel is going to be better, because he can't be worse. But Carolina actually has something to play for and the spread is not that big.

atlanta +6 NEW ORLEANS
I don't trust the Saints to do what they're supposed to do. Especially at home this year, which seems weird.

SEATTLE -8 1/2 arizona
I find that whenever a spread seems too big because of an injury or something, the favorite usually covers anyway. My only concern about this pick is agreeing with Mike Francesa. Of Ryan Lindley he said, "I don't want to pick on the kid but -- he stinks! He's terrible."

new england -10 NEW YORK JETS
You don't think Bill Belichick wants to shove it up Rex's ass in their last-ever meeting as head coaches?

green bay -11 tampa bay

Another huge spread, especially for a road team, but I like to ride with the teams that disappointed the previous week. And I really do believe the Packers are the best team in the NFL.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 36-39 (31 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-10)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (12-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (11-10)
Road Underdogs: 2-1 (11-13)

Friday, December 19, 2014

Funny or Douchey?

This has the potential to be the most controversial Funny or Douchey ever. I know many of you will vote douchey without giving it a second thought. But I know at least a couple of you will find this to be quite clever and humorous.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Song of the Week

"Baby It's Cold Outside" - Cee-Lo Green featuring Christina Aguilera
This song about date rape is a perfect fit for accused sexual predator Cee-Lo.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Funny or Douchey?

An Australian colleague had a birthday and on the card I wrote "Happy Birthday! I hope you have a G'day."

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Weekly Picks

The secret to my success: pick against the Jets. They stink. Though I will deviate from that strategy this week and leave them alone for a week.

KANSAS CITY -10 1/2 oakland
I actually wanted to make this game my best bet but this is just too many points for a team like the Chiefs.

jacksonville +13 1/2 BALTIMORE
I just don't like the Ravens. They surprised me last week by beating the Dolphins but I expect them to have a stinker against a weaker team.

san francisco +9 1/2 SEATTLE
I know this pick doesn't look too good but I just have a feeling there won't be too many points scored at all.

cincinnati +2 CLEVELAND
Brian Hoyer didn't lose all those games by himself. And I just have no confidence that Johnny Football is actually an NFL quarterback at this point.

green bay -4 1/2 BUFFALO

I just love the Packers and think they're awesome. They played a close game last week and allowed a lot of points. Their defense should do better against the Bills.

Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 33-37 (29 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (5-9)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (11-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (11-9)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (9-12)

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Song of the Week

"Open Your Eyes" - Bobby Caldwell
When Bobby Caldwell was new to the music industry in the 1970s, there was no internet, so if you heard a song you liked on the radio it was very hard to find out what the person who sang it looked like.
Caldwell sounded "black" but he is white and according to his Wikipedia page "Caldwell's management took certain steps — such as portraying the artist only in silhouette on the cover and in advertisements — to hide the fact that he was white."

Still this is a cool jam, sampled expertly by Common on "The Light.".

Monday, December 08, 2014

A New Kind of F or D

Rams coach Jeff Fisher sent out 6 players for the opening coin toss against the Redskins, they happened to be the six players active for Sunday's game who were acquired via the trade for RGIII. They are Stedman Bailey, Michael Brockers, Greg Robinson, Janoris Jenkins, Zac Stacy, and Alec Ogletree.

I definitely think the answer is dickish. If RGIII were playing well and Fisher wanted to say "we like our side" I would say it's funny. But doing it just to show up the Redskins now that things have gone so badly, that's just kicking a guy when he's down.

Good Guesses

I told Mrs. Poop that LeBron's new running mate was named Kevin and his last name is a verb that I do to her. She guessed "Kevin Hump" and "Kevin Annoy" before giving up.

How to Handle Fleeting Success

Thomas F. Wilson is famous for playing Biff Tannen and his progenitors and progeny in the Back to the Future movies.

Because those movies are so good and so timeless Wilson is constantly being stopped by adoring fans who ask him the same, dumb questions over and over again. He decided to print this FAQ to hand out rather than answering these mindless queries 100 times a a day.

And since he has transitioned to stand-up comedy, here's his musical comedy routine addressing the same topic:

Sunday, December 07, 2014

Weekly Picks

I'm running out of things to say about my performance. Lots of big spreads this week.

new york giants -1 1/2 TENNESSEE
I can't see the Giants losing two weeks in a row to two of the worst teams in the NFL. But if they do they have the Redskins next week so they're playing 3 horrible teams in a row, hopefully they lose all 3.

MIAMI -3 baltimore
After a subpar performance and a squeaky win against the Jets, I expect the Dolphins to rebound with a win.

buffalo +10 DENVER
I actually think there is something seriously wrong with the Broncos.

new england -3 1/2 SAN DIEGO
The Patriots aren't losing two weeks in a row.

MINNESOTA -5 new york jets

I actually don't think the Vikings are that bad and the Jets as we know are putrid.

Last week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 29-36 (24 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (4-9)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (10-14) Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-3 (9-9)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (8-12)

Friday, December 05, 2014

I Love Everything Except the Name

I would have gone with Jew-ber. But Schlep is pretty funny too.

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

I Have Considered Executing a Similar Stunt

But I'm pretty sure Mrs. Poop would never forgive me if I fake-killed Julian.

Song of the Week

"Suspicious Minds" - Elvis Presley
Only the second Elvis SOTW ever after "The Wonder of You" (SOTW 9/9/09)

Friday, November 28, 2014

Those Aren't Brains's Caitlyn Howe interviewed poker player Jonathan Jaffe after day 3 of WPT Montreal, an event he went on to win.
Clearly Howe was not hired because of her poker knowledge, her reporting skills and certainly not her bullshit detector.

"I'm working for the core of engineers in Vermont, I'm studying, there's an indigenous population of squirrels that are being eaten by a new invasive species of bird."
"That's incredible. What a virtuous pursuit."

There are two big reasons she got the job. You can see them here.

And here.

But she was not the only one to get duped by Jaffe. The ESPN crew (technically an outside production company working in association with ESPN) broadcasting the 2013 World Series of Poker Main Event got fooled.

Jaffe ended up finishing 42nd and ESPN eventually admitted its gaffe in not fact checking Jaffe and not giving the photoshopped picture of him feeding a dolphin closer inspection.

Enough about him, this post is really about Caitlyn Howe.

Weekly Picks

I'm 9-6 over the past 3 weeks and thankfully I finally got a best bet right. I really wanted to pick the Lions on Thanksgiving but I totally forgot to actually make it so.

new york giants -3 JACKSONVILLE
I think the Giants are a little better than their record. As long as Eli doesn't turn it over a bunch of times I expect them to beat the Jaguars easily.

cincinnati -3 1/2 TAMPA BAY
Another case of a decent team playing a bad team on the road and getting a reasonable price.

ST. LOUIS -6 1/2 oakland
The Raiders are not winning two games in a row. The only question is whether the Rams will beat them by enough. I went with the lower spread of the two choices just to avoid a potential push.

denver -2 KANSAS CITY
I thought I had it with the Broncos last week after that huge comeback but they allowed that backdoor TD to crush my dreams. Normally I would avoid picking against a good team coming off a horrible loss, but I'm not so sure the Chiefs are a good team.

miami -6 1/2 NEW YORK JETS

The Jets are just the worst. And the Dolphins are good, coming off a bad loss, and they need this game. Again I selected the lower of the two spreads to avoid a push.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 27-33 (23 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (4-8)
Home Favorites: 3-2 (9-14)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (8-12)

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Song of the Week

"A Sky Full of Stars" - Coldplay
I have always said that had I not been a teenager on Staten Island when Wu-Tang's 36 Chambers came out "I would be listening to Coldplay like the rest of the white kids."
But it did, so I wasn't. I hated Coldplay.
But I made up my mind before I knew Coldplay sang this song. I guess I wasn't familiar enough with them to know the voice of their singer (who is more palatable now that he's not married to that pretentious copper nanotube anymore.)
Maybe I didn't know their style well enough either, though I think this is a departure from their normal genre.
I would be hypocritical if I didn't post a good song I liked just because I didn't want to seem like a cheesy white kid like Focks.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Weekly Picks

Not a bad week except for losing my best bet again.

BUFFALO -2 1/2 new york jets
I don't care when and were this game is being played. As long as there are people assigning value to something that doesn't really matter, I will pick against those schmoes.

CHICAGO -5 tampa bay
The Bears are a hard team to figure but they do have a lot of talent and I could see them rattling off a few wins now that the schedule got a little easier. Plus the ECPs had a big win last week and I don't expect them to win two in a row on the road.

DENVER -6 1/2 miami
You think they're going to hold Peyton Manning to 7 points two weeks in a row? I don't.

HOUSTON -2 cincinnati
I don't like this matchup of Andy Dalton versus the Texans defense.

SEATTLE -7 1/2 arizona

This is probably the biggest spread a team with the best record in the league has ever faced this deep into the season. It makes sense for some reasons but it's also designed to attract those people who are living in the past, evidently, like me.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 24-31 (19 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-8)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (6-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 1-2 (8-12)

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Song of the Week

"Don't" - Ed Sheeran
Kind of a cool funky sound that we don't normally hear in pop music.
Video is also different and interesting.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I'd Buy It And Invite Johnny Fontaine Over

The house that served as Don Corleone's home in "The Godfather" is for sale.
The house is located at 110 Longfellow Rd in the Emerson Hill section of Staten Island.
The outside was used for the wedding scenes at the beginning of the movie. They didn't shoot in the interior of the house, but the home owners renovated it to replicate the rooms in the movie.
It is list for $2.895 million.

Monday, November 17, 2014

The Disney Reveal

We sprung a trip to Disney on Chase and Julian right after we got home from trick or treating on Halloween.

So the reaction was very underwhelming to me. Chase reacted just as I thought he would, but I expected Julian to jump and yell like he did in the famous anywhere chair video

Sunday, November 16, 2014

How Tall This Fall






about three foot four this year



how tall with daddy


how tall with mommy

Weekly Picks

No one ever went broke betting against Mark Sanchez -- except me.

CHICAGO -2 1/2 minnesota
So it hasn't been going too well for our system this year, but after an embarrassing loss in prime time in front of a huge audience I like a team to rebound.

seattle +1 1/2 KANSAS CITY
Are the Chiefs really this good? Are the Seahawks really in trouble despite pounding the Giants last week?

cincinnati +7 NEW ORLEANS
Again, embarrassing loss, but Andy Dalton can't be that bad two weeks in a row, can he?

GREEN BAY -5 1/2 philadelphia
Going to try this Sanchez thing again.

detroit +1 ARIZONA

Normally I have this backup quarterback theory where a team doesn't have the big dropoff we would expect when their starting QB goes down. But I just happen to really like the Lions this season.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 21-29 (17 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-7)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (4-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (7-10)

Thursday, November 13, 2014

I Just Booked a Two-Week Trip to Hawaii for Any Woman Named Halle Berry

From the Toronto Star:
If you’re a Canadian citizen with a passport and an itch to explore the world, you may be eligible for a free trip around the world. Just one condition: your legal name has to be Elizabeth Gallagher.

Jordan Axani, a 28-year-old real estate development manager with some spare plane tickets, is willing to fund your airfare for a two-week trip around the world, provided that you’re willing to leave a few days before Christmas.

The Cabbagetown resident posted a notice on Reddit looking for a travel companion late Sunday night. He writes that the offer resulted from a break-up with his girlfriend with whom he had been planning to take the trip since March.

His search for another woman who has the same name as his ex began when he discovered what a hassle it can be to make changes to plane tickets.

“Anyone familiar with the archaic system that is modern air travel will know that a name change on a ticket is damn near impossible,” he writes on Reddit. “Moreover, the flights were purchased during a massive blow-up on Priceline and were frankly so cheap and on so many different airlines that they’re not worth the headache or money to cancel.”

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Song of the Week

"I'm Your Puppet" - James and Bobby Purify
Major quandary here deciding which version to use. James and Bobby Purify did the original so I wanted to give them credit, but I actually prefer a cover version by the great Marvin and Tammi.
But I decided to go with the original just to point out that the original "Bobby Purify" was actually Robert Dickey. And he was eventually replaced by Ben Moore.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

He's Not Here Anymore

"I'm here, and I'm there. I'm Big Bank Hank and I'm everywhere."
One of the originators of hip-hop, Big Bank Hank from the Sugar Hill Gang died today at the age of 57, which means he was only 22 when he revolutionized music with Rapper's Delight.
And don't forget Apache (SOTW, 8/22/07)

And the worst part is, now he will literally be rolling over in his grave when he sees what has become of rap music.

The Person Who Did This is a Dipshit

Funny typo from Fox 4 in Dallas where the lack of a space between temps and hit turned a weather report into an internet gag.

Another Mistake

The Mets will never learn. Mike Cuddyer is the latest old (36), injured (48 games last year), overpaid ($21M over two years) veteran the Mets hope will finally hit for them.
Cuddyer is coming to them from the Rockies where his stats were obviously inflated by the ballpark. And like all the others he will surely suffer in CitiField.
And even if he were to hit pretty well, he is an absolute butcher defensively, perhaps a worse outfielder than Lucas Duda was.
I grant you that the Mets didn't have many better options to play left field, but my my concern is that he won't be much better than a Nieuwenhuis/den Decker combo would be (including defense and baserunning) and his arrival will result in fewer at bats (and defensive chances) for Juan Lagares -- because Terry Collins is a moron who thinks you need to keep guys fresh (and he has a crush on Eric Young Jr).
Once again the Mets have turned to free agency to improve the problems with their team because they think that is what they are supposed to do and they think that showing the fan base you're committed to winning is important even when doing so actually makes it less likely that you will win.
So Cuddyer is old, unlikely to be healthy for two years, terrible on defense and likely to see a significant decrease in offensive production based solely on home parks.
The Mets will never learn.

Sunday, November 09, 2014

Weekly Picks

Another -1.

DETROIT -2 1/2 miami
I think I am just have trouble adjusting to teams I thought were bad or good, suddenly changing and staying that way for weeks. The Dolphins may actually be good. But I like Detroit anyway.

pittsburgh -3 1/2 NEW YORK JETS
Last week I picked against the Steelers because they were coming off a monumental performance. I picked the Jets because they had just turned in a monumentally bad performance. Now let's try something different.

atlanta -3 TAMPA BAY
I cannot believe how awful the Falcons have turned out to be.

denver -12 OAKLAND
A huge road spread for the Broncos but they got smoked last week and the Raiders hung in against the Seahawks.

carolina +6 1/2 PHILADELPHIA

Mark Sanchez is the starting quarterback for the Eagles.

Last week: 0-5 (-1 points)
Season: 18-27 (15 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-6)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (3-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (6-5)
Road Underdogs: 0-3 (7-9)

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Song of the Week

"Changes" - Faul & Wad Ad
80,000,000 youtube viewers can't wrong

Sunday, November 02, 2014

Weekly Picks

A slight bounceback last week. I am posting these picks from DisneyWorld so maybe I will have a magical week.

DALLAS -2 1/2 arizona
Dallas had a profile stinker against a bad team on Monday night. Arizona had a shocking high-profile victory and got a lot of attention.

new york jets +9 KANSAS CITY
Ok, so this sounds crazy but the Jets can't possibly be that bad every week, can they? Jets fans? Plus, this is a lot of points for a team as mediocre as Kansas City to be giving up.

san diego +2 MIAMI
The Dolphins are seriously flawed. The Chargers are seriously good.

SEATTLE -14 oakland
A visit from the Raiders is good for what ails the Seahawks.

baltimore +1 
This is just a bet against Ben Roethlisberger having a game anywhere close to the one he had last week.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 18-22 (16 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (3-5)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (3-10)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (6-5)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (7-6)

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Song of the Week

"Always Together" - The Dells
These guys just get me
"When the years have turned your hair to silver
And the days of our youth have left us so very far behind
Golden, golden memories we'll keep in our mind
And we'll always be
always be
Always together"

Monday, October 27, 2014

So Long Mrs. Kotter

Actress Marcia Strassman died at the age of 66 after a long battle with cancer.
Strassman was best known for playing Julie Kotter, Mr. Kotter's wife on "Welcome Back, Kotter."
Most of her role consisted of listening to Mr. Kotter (Gabe Kaplan) tell bad jokes about his "uncles."

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Weekly Picks

Minus-1. I stink. I actually think I will stop doing these next season. No one participates in the pool upon which this is based and it ruins my Sunday that I get every game wrong all the time. And the picks aren't helpful unless some studious Poophead wants to bet against me.

houston -3 1/2 TENNESSEE
The Titans stink and playing a QB who looks like a joke is not going to help. I would have gotten the Texans right last week if not for some fluky disastrous run of plays. This week they will rebound.

seattle -5 CAROLINA
There could actually be something seriously wrong with the Seahawks. But a three-game losing streak for the world champs? I doubt it.

CINCINNATI +2 baltimore
Have the Bengals really regressed this much this quickly?

green bay +2 1/2 NEW ORLEANS
Aaron Rodgers has been on fire and Drew Brees has been mortal.


The Dolphins aren't that good but teams as bad as the Jaguars generally win 2 games a season, not 2 games in 2 weeks.

Last week: 0-5 (-1 points)
Season: 15-20 (12 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (2-5)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (3-10)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (4-5)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (7-5)

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

What Do You Give Me For? Frankie Carbone and Louie from "The Simpsons"

What do you give me for Frankie Carbone and Louie from "The Simpsons?"
Actor Frank Sivero is suing the creators of the "The Simpsons" for $250M saying Louie is based on his character from "Goodfellas."
Sivero says in 1989 he lived in the same apartment complex as some of the writers for the show. During this time he developed the character of Frankie Carbone. He says he told the writers about his character and that they based "Louie" on Carbone.
Louie first appeared in 1991 and has had 15 appearances in total, including as recently as April 2014.

Song of the Week

"Sultans of Swing" - Dire Straits

Monday, October 20, 2014

The Twitter Trolls Have Pushed Mike Goldberg Too Far

Mike Goldberg, UFC's regular announcer, has been removed for one week from his gig doing NFL games on Fox.
What happened is long and complicated and begins with your faithful friend, The Poop.
Apparently I have never written about my hatred for Goldie on the blog so I will explain it all.
Bruce Buffer normally ends his pre-fight schpiel by announcing the name of the referee. Without fail Mike Goldberg would repeat the name of the ref right afterwards. So it would go a little something like this:

Buffer: The referee this evening, Herb Dean.
Goldberg: Herb Dean is our referee.

This drove me insane, but on its own, not enough to make me take action. But when you add in all the other stupidity he spews (TON says at least once a fight card Joe Rogan basically has to tell him to shut up because he's saying something blatantly wrong), that would be enough to drive anyone to his breaking point, but not me.

I didn't start trolling him on Twitter until he missed an event while dealing with a "complicated health issue" which many people believe was rehab.

His replacement Jon Anik was so bad I actually tweeted my support for Goldie.

Note: The ashes is a cricket match between Australia and the United Kingdom. The Ultimate Fighter between Australia and the United Kingdom was dubbed "the Smashes." Anik said this 100 times, at least, every time he had the chance.

Here is my original tweet to him and the conversation it started:

Fast forward to last Sunday when Mike Goldberg was calling the Vikings-Lions game. According to all reports it was one of the worst broadcasts ever, with Goldberg constantly misidentifying players (like saying a Teddy Bridgewater pass was intended for Golden Tate -- who plays for the other team) to just not being able to correctly identify down and distance (he said a clear first down was "close," an obvious loss was a gain of "one maybe two" and 2nd and 9 was "3rd and 17"). All in all it seemed like Goldie was back on whatever it was that sent him to rehab in the first place.

As people on twitter are known to do, they gave Goldberg the business after the game. Calling him out for his inept performance. Goldberg wasn't having it though, responding to the twitter trolls with gems like this:

And this:

So that's what got him benched for this week. Let's see if Fox has the temerity to send him back out there. Let's see if Goldberg has the serenity to ignore the trolls. And let's see if I can provoke him into calling me a douche.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Weekly Picks

Bounced back last week thanks to the Patriots, who true to form, followed up two good performances with a near-loss to the lowly Jets.

DETROIT -2 new orleans
I'm not convinced that the Saints don't stink, and I am starting to believe the Lions are pretty good.

SAN DIEGO -3 1/2 kansas city
This seems like a small spread for a team playing as well as the Chargers against an opponent that isn't all that great.

new york giants +6 1/2 DALLAS
You wanna crown em, then crown their ass, but I'm going to pick the Giants as a big underdog. Again, looking for both teams to perform contrary to how they did last week.

houston +3 PITTSBURGH
I like any team with JJ Watt on it.

seattle -6 ST. LOUIS

If you had any doubt that the Seahawks would be my best bet then I just want to thank you for making it this far down in one of these posts for what is likely the first time ever.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 15-15 (13 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (2-4)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (3-8)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-1)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (4-3)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (7-3)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Song of the Week

"Come Get It Bae" - Pharrell Williams
In contrast to last week's SOTW, this song shows what kind of progress we've made in 35 years, we've dropped the second B from babe.
Which I suppose is better than dropping the first one because I'd feel weird calling Mrs. Poop "Abe."
The song mostly sucks, but it doesn't have a funky beat, so I would definitely prefer the instrumental.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

The Process is Working, Let It Work

Believe me Mets fans, I understand the frustration and the impatience, unfortunately, you can't just will a team to be better and you can't just buy free agents to make it so.
Every time the Mets have tried this (Jason Bay, Curtis Granderson, etc), it has been a disaster. And now, with more and more teams locking up their best players before they reach free agency, there are fewer good players even reaching this point. There are no Carlos Beltrans out there.

Note: This is also a big reason the Yankees missed the playoffs two years running. You just can't buy a playoff team on the open market anymore. Teams hold on to their good young players so only older, damaged veterans make it to free agency.
What the Mets have to do is accumulate good, young players and hold on to them. The Mets are well on their to building what could be an outstanding starting rotation with Harvey, deGrom and Wheeler already in the majors and others on the way. The bullpen is also stocked with great arms like Mejia and Familia and Rafael Montero.
And I am very excited about Akeel Morris who in the last two years at A-ball has struck out 149 batters in 102 innings (13k/9) and 0.79 ERA.
I also like what the Mets have up the middle with Largares (who has the potential to be a legendary defensive player) and D'Arnaud who seems to have come around. Duda, Murphy and Wright could also be positive contributors. And though I think Granderson stinks, we have him for 3 more years like it or not.
What I would like to see the Mets do is sign a left fielder to a 1-year contract and give Wilmer Flores or Dilson Herrera a chance to be an everyday shortstop.
I think the Mets can follow the Royals blueprint of a long, slow rebuilding process that bears fruit when hard-throwing young pitchers combine with speedy defensive players plus a few guys who can hit. That style of team would do well and at CitiField and be poised to do well in the playoffs when runs become harder to come by.

Monday, October 13, 2014

It's a Rare Condition In This Day and Age To Read Any Good News on the Newspaper Page -- When It Comes to the NFL

The story of Cincinnati Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still is one of the few things that makes you feel good about being an NFL fan this season. Still's 4-year-old daughter, Leah, has neuroblastoma, a form of cancer.
He has tweeted about her progress, instagrammed videos of his pep talks for her and the NFL has started selling his jersey and giving some of the profits to charity.
In fact, there are no more #75 Still jerseys available a check will be presented to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital for OVER $1 million dollars. Even the New England Patriots cheerleaders wore them.

That produced a single tear from Still's eye, which dripped on his faux-eye black which bears his daughter's name.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Weekly Picks

Another miserable week as I banked on a team I thought was good (New Orleans) but probably isn't. Still near .500 for the season and 11-9 on not best bets. Don't know why I always struggle with those.

TENNESSEE -4 1/2 jacksonville
I think the Titans are bad but it's a lot to expect for Jacksonville to win a road game. They are the only team I beat on a best bet all season.

baltimore -3 1/2 TAMPA BAY
I keep picking against the ExpensiveCornPrices but they keep burning me. Maybe Mike Glennon really did make a big difference for this team.

CINCINNATI -7 carolina
This seems like way too many points to be giving to a good team like the Panthers, but I'm going to go with it anyway.

detroit +2 1/2 MINNESOTA
I'm sorry but I just don't think the Vikings are any good. I do like the Lions players but they never seem to play up to their potential.

new england -1 1/2 BUFFALO

I thought we were over this New England dynasty is dead crap. Tom Brady is going to play. There is nothing to worry about.

Last week: 2-3 (1 points)
Season: 12-13 (9 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (1-4)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (3-6)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (1-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (2-3)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (6-3)

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

Song of the Week

"Babe" - Styx
"You know it's you Babe
Whenever I get weary and I've had enough
Feel like giving up
You know it's you Babe
Giving me the courage and the strength I need
Please believe that it's true
Babe, I love you."

Monday, October 06, 2014

At Least I'm Memorable

I was in the cafeteria at work and I see this woman I know I recognize, so I’m staring at her trying to figure out who she is, and I can tell at the same time she’s trying to figure out who I am. She says “you don’t remember my name do you?” I said her name and asked "do you remember my name?” She said “no, but I know something about you. Something you don’t like. Dogs in costumes.”

Sunday, October 05, 2014

Weekly Picks

I knew this would happen, I followed up a 5-point Week 3 with a zero point stinker last week, perhaps helping to usher in the demise of the New England Patriots dynasty.

NEW ENGLAND +1 cincinnati
Speaking of the New England dynasty, I think all that stuff is a little overstated. The Bengals are a bad opponent to try to bounce back against (could use the Raiders, like the Dolphins did, but they already beat them this year) and I thought the Pats would be getting 3 or 3 1/2 but I've learned not to let those things bother. I believe that they will win.

atlanta +3 1/2 NEW YORK GIANTS
I am trying to get in sync with Atlanta who I believe is still a good team with a lot of good players. I am not convinced about the Giants. I never pick against them and when I do they normally make me pay. But we will see.

Note: I heard a stat that Eli Manning is 2-1 at home in his career against the Falcons. I was at the one loss in his rookie year. It was the Sunday after the Malice at the Palace the previous Friday night. I listened to David Stern's press conference on the radio and when he was asked if the decision to suspend Artest for the entire season was unanimous and he said "yes, one-nothing."

The Eagles offense looked terrible against the 49ers. And the Rams have a good defense, but my overriding theory is that the same things rarely happen two weeks in a row.

houston +6 1/2 DALLAS
All of the sudden the Cowboys went from horrible to great. This is way too many points to give to a pretty good Texans team with a great defense that should be able to slow Dallas's running game and force Tony Romo into mistakes.

NEW ORLEANS -10 1/2 tampa bay

I've gotten one best bet right all year and it was the Colts coming off a loss and playing the Jaguars. Now we have the Saints coming off a blowout loss to the Cowboys playing the ExpensiveCornPrices who just pulled off a miracle win against the Steelers. If the Saints lose they fall to 1-4 and the season is lost. Doubt that will happen, so we just have to hope they win by enough.

Last week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 10-10 (8 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (1-3)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (3-4)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 0-3 (2-3)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (5-2)

Friday, October 03, 2014

Marching Bands and Solemn Holidays Don't Mix

Syracuse has had to move its normal pregame festivities for tonight's game against Louisville so as not to interfere with students observing Yom Kippur in Hendricks Chapel.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Syracuse campus consult the above picture.
Normally, pregame festivities including tailgate parties take place on the quad and in surrounding parking lots. And the marching band marches through the quad to the game, right past Hendricks Chapel.

A marching band and a bunch of loud drunks are certainly not fitting with the solemn attitude needed on Yom Kippur.

In respect to the Jewish students the University changed the plans to keep the quad and the area in front of Hendricks Chapel (the steps of which are a very common meeting/sitting spot on campus) clear.

"The pregame festivities will be held in the north area of the Carrier Dome between Gate D and the Heroy Geology Building and the marching band will play on the east side of the Dome by Irving Ave. Fans walking to the game will be directed around the quad and Hendricks Chapel."

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Contrasting Styles

Chase and Julian have the same parents. They have grown up in the same house with the same rules. Yet somehow nature and nurture have turned them into two completely different kids.
Chase is shier, eager to please and sensitive. Julian is a bull who doesn't give a fuck.
Chase is quiet, Julian is loud.
Chase has brown hair and brown eyes. Julian is blonde with blue eyes.
Chase is small (though this is a more recent development), Julian is a giant among 4-year olds.
When Chase falls down (such as on the way to the school dance) he cries for a long time (30 minutes in the school dance incident). When Julian falls down, he says "I'm ok" before he even hits the ground. Once he said "I'm ok" before assessing the situation, and after a few seconds of silence he realized that he wasn't ok, and he started to cry.

Mrs. Poop gave them pennies to throw into a fountain. Later they told us what they wished for. Chase wished for a modest $28 toy. Julian wished that there would be no more rules.

In one incident Julian got his finger stuck under the booster seat attached to his chair. He very calmly told me his finger was stuck. Too calmly. I didn't act with necessary urgency. When I got his finger unstuck and he saw it was cut and red, he cried hysterically. Chase gave him a toy to make him feel better.

My favorite story about Chase's easy-going nature is from Tali's birthday party several years ago. A man was giving the kids temporary tattoos. Each time he warned the children that the water would be very cold. Chase replied "I love cold water." Now, I'm not saying Juju would have decked the guy, but he certainly wouldn't have been as accepting of freezing cold water on his arm.

I could go on forever about the differences between them (which in general are great, I am glad they are unique and distinct individuals) but I think I will leave it here.

This is a picture of Chase being scared on a roller-coaster.

And this is a picture of Julian being scared on a roller-coaster.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Song of the Week

"Latch" - Disclosure featuring Sam Smith

Monday, September 29, 2014

What a Coincidence

It just so happens that in Derek Jeter's last game at Yankee Stadium he hit a walkoff single to give the Yankees a 6-5 win.
In an even further coincidence, the Yankees had a 5-2 lead entering the 9th and somehow David Robertson gave up 2 home runs to knot the game at 5-5 entering the 9th, with Jeter due up third.
Evan Meek gave up a single, Brett Gardner bunted the runner to second, and then Jeter came through.
In the annals of faux achievements, this has to rank third.
First, Nykesha Sales limping out on the court on crutches to make one basket and set UConn's all-time points record.
Then comes Michael Strahan's sack record, when Brett Favre took a dive for his buddy.

Then comes this. The game meant nothing to either team, but I can't be sure the Orioles were in on it. Maybe the Yankees just decided to allow 3 runs to give Jeter a chance at something.
I'm not sure, but I know there is no way all these things could have "just happened" not even for someone with as many "intangibles" as Jeter.

Postseason Predictions

AL Wild Card: Oakland over Kansas City
Division Series: Los Angeles Angels over Oakland, Detroit over Baltimore
Championship Series: Los Angeles Angels over Detroit

NL Wild Card: San Francisco over Pittsburgh
Division Series: Washington over San Francisco, Los Angeles Dodgers over St. Louis
Championship Series: Washington over Los Angeles Dodgers

World Series: Los Angeles Angels over Washington

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Weekly Picks

Finally got off the schneid last week with a 5 -- and a best bet! -- but I've gotta put 2 or 3 good weeks together and I don't feel confident this week. Certainly nothing as gimme as Colts vs Jags last week.

jacksonville +13 SAN DIEGO
They can't get blowed out in every game, can they?

atlanta -3 MINNESOTA
I still have a soft spot for Atlanta though I can't been picking them at the right times so far this year.

philadelphia +5 SAN FRANCISCO
This looks like a lot of points to give a team that looks unstoppable on offense, especially against a Niners team that hasn't shown much so far this year. If I were drafting a team from scratch and my QB choices were Nick Foles and Colin Kaepernick, I would pick Foles.

new orleans -3 DALLAS
They're not going to get another miracle this week. Dallas is still a bad team even though they've won two in a row.

new england -3 KANSAS CITY

I still have a lot of faith in the Patriots not to lose games against bad teams.

Last Week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 9-6 (8 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (1-2)
Home Favorites: 2-1 (3-4)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (2-0)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (4-1)

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Song of the Week

"I Wanna Be Rich" - Calloway

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Weekly Picks

Followed up my disappointing start with another bad week in which I lost two close games (Green Bay and Indy) and of course, my best bet (Atlanta), But I feel a little heartened in that I correctly identified a trend 0-1 teams vs 1-0 teams that managed to work in most cases. Sticking with a similar philosophy this week and hoping for better results.

NEW ORLEANS -10 1/2 minnesota
I hate picking against a team that has some intangible thing like this Adrian Peterson deal hanging over its head because people make way too big a deal out of it when it really has no meaning. But I can't see the Saints falling to 0-3, so I will just hope they can hang a big number on the Vikes.

SEATTLE -4 1/2 denver
I feel very ambivalent about this game but the Seahawks lost last week, they're at home and I don't believe the Broncos have something to prove.

MIAMI -3 1/2 kansas city
Miami laid a stinker in Buffalo last week but I expect them to rebound against a Chiefs team I don't think is very good.

chicago +2 1/2 NEW YORK JETS
I wanted to throw one underdog into the mix and wanted it to be one I felt had a good shot of winning the game outright.

indianapolis -7 1/2 JACKSONVILLE

I really believe that Andrew Luck is going to be the next great NFL QB, but he's started the season with two tough losses. I expect the Colts to rebound in a big way against a really bad Jacksonville team.

Last Week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 5-5 (3 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (0-2)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (1-3)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (1-0)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (3-1)

Friday, September 19, 2014

A Few Random Thoughts

I figuratively cut the cheese while literally cutting the cheese. Strange but true.

I was taking Chase to the bathroom before his tae kwon do banquet started. One of his friends wanted to come with us. But he was with his mom and she told him he had to go to the ladies' room with her, I almost said "don't worry, I'll watch him" but thankfully I stopped myself.

At the same tae kwon do banquet, there was a self-defense demonstration. One man in a blue ghi fended off four "attackers" wearing black. Julian screamed out "he killed all the black guys."

If there are too many female main characters in TV, movies and books could you call that a "heroine overdose?"

Lolo Jones got kicked off "Dancing with the Stars" before she could completely disprove the stereotype that all black people are good dancers.

Words Mrs. Poop never thought she would have to say: "don't pee on your brother!" She did have to say them. But she was too late.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Jameis Winston, Finally Punished

Jameis Winston is a good quarterback. Jameis Winston never gets punished for the bad things he does. These things are not unrelated.
Jameis Winston sexually assaulted a girl, stole soda from Burger King (drinking out of ketchup cup), stole food from a grocery store, and fired BB guns on campus breaking windows of the complex where he lived.
Winston avoided any real punishment for any of these incidents.
But now he has gotten his comeuppance. For what?
Let me first start with a video (NSFW language, ok with headphones):

That is a fake video, purportedly of a reporter working a missing person story saying when they find the woman that he will "fuck her right in the pussy."
Harmful, mildly funny, if juvenile, internet video.
As those things tend to do, it went somewhat viral and became a meme.
A meme Jameis Winston must have found funny.
He stood on a table in the middle of the Florida State student union and shouted "fuck her right in the pussy."
Florida State has reached its breaking point. They could take no more of Winston's behavior. He had to be punished and punished severely and swiftly. Florida has suspended him for one half, that's 30 minutes of football time, of Saturday's game against Clemson.

Now I suppose it's possible that FSU could get down big to Clemson early and lose the game, costing them a national title and him a second Heisman.
But more likely FSU will make the new playoff, even with a loss, and if he plays well enough in the other games he has a good chance to become only the second player to win 2 Heismans.
And he will do it while knowing that nothing he does wrong ever has serious repercussions.

Haven't we recently seen the downside of this entitle attitude from athletes manifest itself in the despicable actions of Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson and to a lesser degree Dwight Howard (27 traffic violations).

For his part, Winston seemed contrite in his apology, and didn't try to lie his way out of it. Maybe he is growing up.

Song of the Week

"Flawless - Remix" - Beyonce featuring Nicki Minaj
This is not an endorsement of this song. I think it is kind of bad, but good compared to most of the shit Nicki Minaj puts out there.
The reason it gets SOTW treatment is because of the sample at 2:06. Yes, that's right, the amazing riff from "SpottieOttieDopaliscious" (SOTW, 11/11/09).

Monday, September 15, 2014

Quarterback Controversy

The Redskins may soon have a full-blown controversy on their hands.
Robert Griffin III is going miss at least 6 weeks after injuring his ankle against the Jaguars.

Complicating matters even more, Kirk Cousins came and performed great in relief, completing 22 of 33 passes for 250 yards and 2 touchdowns, and setting up 2 other touchdown drives (converted by Alfred Morris).

Note: the last drive, capped by a Silas Redd TD was meaningless though some team with running back issues should offer the Redskins a pick for Redd. He looks fast and strong.

Complicating matters even further is that RGIII has not shown enough (hardly any) progress to believe that he is going to develop into the quarterback the Redskins hoped he would be when they used the second pick in the draft to select him.

Scenario #1: Cousins plays the next 6-8 games as well as he did yesterday. If so, he would be a serious contender for league MVP.
Scenario #2: Cousins has some good games and some bad games. He makes some good plays and some bad plays. The Redskins win some and lose some.
Scenario #3: Cousins plays poorly, throws more touchdown than interceptions and the team loses almost every game he starts.

Scenarios #1 and 3 are easy, it's scenario #2 that's hard. And here's why: After Cousins starts 6-8 games, maybe more, it's going to be hard to bring both quarterbacks back next year for their 4th season.

But unless Cousins is spectacular or even very good, it will be hard to give up on RGIII after one great season and two seasons restricted by injury.

My thoughts: Kirk Cousins has almost zero advantages over RGIII. But he is a more accurate passer, and perhaps more importantly, he seems more willing to "pull the trigger" and throw the ball before mentally confirming the receiver is open. Too often RGIII misses open receivers by waiting an extra half-second. Also, Cousins as yet makes none of the bad decisions that RGIII makes that often lead to penalties, turnovers and injuries.

I think you need to be a star quarterback to win in this league. If you are going to follow the Seahawks model and develop a QB who is a skilled game manager (no QB throws fewer pass attempts than Russell Wilson -- yes, they're winning most of the time), then you need an awesome ball-hawking defense and a solid ground game. Both of which the Redskins might have someday soon.

But if you don't, want you want to win titles you need a star QB. A guy who can make plays and win games on his own. In his only healthy season we saw RGIII do that. I don't think 3 years is enough to permanently write him off as injury-prone or not good enough.

But RGIII had his chance. Now Cousins is getting his.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Weekly Picks

Another disappointing start to the season, getting 60% of the games right but losing my best bet as always. But this week I feel I have found a really good best bet, but who knows about the other games. And remember, I am always on the lookout for good teams that lost in Week 1 and don't want to go 0-2.

new england -4 MINNESOTA
This one seems pretty obvious to me especially without child abuser Adrian Peterson in the backfield. Yes, the Patriots are going to decline at sometime and they looked awful last week. But I think they can still cover this relatively modest spread on the road.

GREEN BAY -7 1/2 new york jets
This is another easy one. The Jets beat a bad team at home. The Packers lost to a good team on the road. The Packers will win this game, my only worry is if somehow the Jets can keep it close.

INDIANAPOLIS -3 philadelphia
I do like the Eagles this year, but they did not play well in the win against Jacksonville last week. The Colts got down really early against Denver and almost came all the way back. Again, I don't expect them to lose at home to fall to 0-2. The question: can they cover? Once again, a modest spread so I will take my chances.

dallas +3 1/2 TENNESSEE
Ok, so the Cowboys looked really bad last week. But a lot of that was turnovers, which are often bad luck. Ok, maybe in last week's game they weren't so much bad luck as bad play. But still, I have a feeling they can keep this close or even get the win on the road.

atlanta +5 1/2 CINCINNATI

Maybe it's my Hard Knocks bias. Or my bounce back bias. But I am expecting big things from the Falcons this year. These two teams are very similar on offense and can both put a lot of points on the board, but I still feel this spread is just too big for a team as good as Atlanta.

Last Week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 3-2 (2 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (0-1)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (1-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Underdogs: 2-0 (2-0)

Friday, September 12, 2014

Song of the Week - Supplemental Reading

If you liked this week's Song of the Week, "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor then you will love the two versions of it done by The Roots on the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.

First, a rendition by Black Simon and Garfunkel:

Lie, lie, lie, pssshhhhh!

And now, with Meghan Trainor, using only classroom instruments:

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Song of the Week

"All About That Bass" - Meghan Trainor
I don't really like this song, but I do enjoy how it celebrates the beauty of fuller-figured women. And this is an interesting way of expressing that sentiment. And I decided to use it now because I surely won't be using in 10 years as a representation of the best music of this era.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

A Little Guts Here!

Roger Goodell blew it. How did someone who was heretofore known as "The Law & Order Commissioner" completely botch his handling of the Ray Rice situation. Was he really so afraid of the union response that he felt he could only give Rice the agreement-mandated 2 games.
And how the hell could they have not seen this video before adjudicating the case?

A lot of people don't believe that the league never saw it, but if Goodell did, and then lied and said he hadn't then he's gone and the league takes a bigger image hit than this, Vick and concussions combined.

I really think Rice and his wife Janay met with Goodell, convinced him this had never happened before and never would again. She probably told him that she hit Rice first (partially true) and that he pushed her off him and she hit her head on the railing and that's how she got passed out.

Otherwise I can't understand what the fuck Goodell and the Ravens were thinking with giving only 2 games. If they had given 8, they probably could have avoided this, and they might not have had to take such drastic action after the video's release.

And what the fuck did they think the video was going to show? You saw a woman unconscious on the floor being dragged by her fiance, who seems indifferent to her plight, and he somewhat admitted that he had caused her injury, and it takes the video to prove to you that he knocked her out?

What a series of stupid and arrogant decisions by the league and its commissioner.

That's Much Better

The alternate ending for the final episode of "How I Met Your Mother" to be included on the Season 9 DVD was leaked to the internet.

Isn't that better than the actual ending, even though I didn't really hate it?

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Great Teammates

In the great tradition of Dingle-Berry and Short-White-Cox two new teammates have come together, sat together (in the right order) to provide a striking image for fans.

In this case it's Arkansas State football players Jemar Clark and Derion Griswold -- Clark Griswold.

Syracuse Soccer Star's Slurs

Syracuse University soccer player,Hanna Strong, got "Riley Coopered." She's caught on video saying "F-ggot" and "N-gger." We have no other context of the video.

She's been suspended from the team and may face even more punishment as is appropriate in this day and age, you just can't say those words.
It was late at night so she was probably drunk, though that's not an excuse. And as with any video, we don't know what happened before it. What if the camera-holder called a dirty, skanky slut? We also know through research that she's friendly with a lot of black guys. They were with her that night, she knows a lot of black athletes, and is even fucking one.
So she's probably not a racist, more likely, she hears that language and it slipped out at the worst time. She even caught herself and said "n-word" the second time.
My bigger question is about who released the tape? Why would you want to hurt someone in this way, knowing this video would get spread around the internet and ruin her reputation, and perhaps her soccer and educational career.
I hope Ms. Strong speaks for herself, apologizes for her stupid comments and explains the circumstances of that night.
And as always, I hate incidents that cast my beloved alma mater in a negative light.
Oh, and she should add an H to the end of her first name.

Weekly Picks

It's time for another season of lousy picks. But since, I've pretty much stopped following the NFL except for the Redskins, I should probably do great this season.

NEW YORK JETS -4 1/2 oakland
The Raiders are starting a rookie quarterback in his first game, and even though I took a flier on Derek Carr as rookie of the year, I expect growing pains. Plus, the Jets love to get their fans' hopes up, before dashing them. This is a game they should win, and a modest spread.

cincinnati +1 1/2 BALTIMORE
About 2/3 of the time when an underdog covers the spread, it wins the game outright. So I like to pick underdogs I think can win the games. The Bengals are a really good team and this could be the year they break through in the playoffs. Also, the Ravens are without Ray Rice for this game (and 1 other), which could hurt their offense.

DALLAS +3 1/2 san francisco
This pick is based on nothing more than my feeling that this could be a very bad year for San Francisco. Every year some team is a colossal disappointment. I'm pinning that tab on the 49ers and Colin Kaepernick who doesn't seem to be developing the way everyone thought he would after that incredible Super Bowl season.

carolina +3 TAMPA BAY
Cam Newton is hurt, which I believe is the reason this spread moved so much during the week. But they also have a great defense and the ExpensiveCornPrices may be a little too optimistic if they expect Josh McCown to repeat the amazing performance he had last year as a fill-in for the Bears.

CHICAGO -7 buffalo

The Bears could have an awesome offense this year capable of putting a lot of points on the board. The Bills could stink to high heaven. I just worry about the 7-point spread.

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

NFL Season Predictions

AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Cincinnati Bengals
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West Denver Broncos
AFC Wild Cards: Miami Dolphins, Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC Championship: Broncos over Bengals

NFC East: Philadelphia Eagles
NFC North: Chicago Bears
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West: Seattle Seahawks
NFC Wild Cards: Green Bay Packers, New Orleans Saints
NFC Championship: Packers over Bears

Super Bowl: Packers over Broncos

Offensive Player of the Year: Aaron Rodgers
Defensive Player of the Year: JJ Watt
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Derek Carr
Defensive Rookie of the Year: JaDaveon Clowney
Comeback Player of the Year: Julio Jones
Coach of the Year: Mike Smith

Song of the Week

"Confession Part II" - Usher
2004 was by far the worst year of any I've done in this little exercise. I wanted to do "Hey Ya" by Outkast but that technically was released at the end of 2003. I think I can pinpoint this as the year when hip-hop turned pop, because some of these songs are so awful.
Anyway, I've always liked Usher and I loved the speculation this song caused as it coincided with his breakup with Chili.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

What Do You Give Me For? Zara's Kids Pajamas and A Concentration Camp Uniform

Mexican clothing company Zara came out with an adorable line of baby pajamas they though would recall a sheriff in the Old West. Instead, to many it brought to mind the uniforms the Nazis made the Jews wear in concentration camps in WWII.
So what do you give me for Zara's Kids pajamas and a concentration camp uniform?

I hope this reminds you all of the Hitler Teapot.

Song of the Week

"Stay" - Lisa Loeb
The point of this entire exercise (going back and looking at top songs from 10, 20, 30 years ago) is to remember the time in our lives when this song was popular.
Perhaps no song is more ubiquitous in my memories than this song, which was everywhere in 1994.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Song of the Week

"Time After Time" - Cyndi Lauper
This is a good song for 1984, definitely reminds me of that era 30 years ago. I think it might have been the first video I ever saw on MTV, at a friend's house.
"If you're lost
You can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall
I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time."

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Song of the Week

"You Make Me Feel Brand New" - The Stylistics
I actually picked a different song because I was sure I had made this an SOTW already. But when I went to confirm I couldn't find it so it must never have happened.
It's long overdue that I give this song, one of my favorites ever, the SOTW treatment it so richly deserves, 40 years after it came out.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

A Thin Line Between Genius and Insanity

The death of Robin Williams, while sad actually wasn't all that surprising to me. Someone who is that manic, crazy, etc. is probably living on the edge at all times.
And in truth I don't feel all that badly for him. He had a great life, and if he couldn't beat his personal demons and didn't want to struggle with them anymore, that's his choice. I'm sure his children still love and need him, but they're grown now.
So let's put aside the sadness of his death and remember the humor of his life.
You will see many clips of his movies, but few of you will see, or have ever seen his brilliant standup "Live From the Met" from 1986.
Master Bates had the audio recording on cassette and we loved this part:

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Baseball is Poop

Hall of Shame
There is a glaring grammatical error on Greg Maddux's Hall of Fame Plaque. The line reads "only hurtler with 300 wins, 3,000 strikeouts and less than 1,000 walks."
It's fewer. FEWER! How many times do I have to tell you? When something can be counted individually you use fewer. Less is for things that can't be counted, like intelligence. The guy who did this plaque has less intelligence than Les Miles's parents.
The Hall of Fame absolutely needs to redo this plaque and display a grammatically correct version for generations of baseball fans to see.

15,000 Rockies Fans Can't Be Wrong

The Rockies had Troy Tulowitzki jersey night and gave out 15,000 shirts with his name on the back. Only it was spelled incorrectly.

Fans can come to a game in September and trade their jersey for one with his name spelled correctly, at which point he may not even be on the team anymore.

Finally a Ballplayer Who Lives Up To His Name
Reds pitcher Jumbo Diaz is listed at 6'4" and 315 pounds. That's believed to be the highest weight ever for a baseball player. His real name is Jose, but he got the nickname Jumbo because he weighs 315 pounds.

There's Hope for Jumbo Diaz
Former National and Tiger (among other things) Dmitri Young is half the man he used to be. Well not quite, but Young has lost 85 pounds from his 2008 listed weight of 290 to his current weight of 205.
He says a doctor told him to lose weight so he started doing cardio, and he takes a shot of NovoLog (insulin shot, he has diabetes) before every meal and that explains his weight loss.

Supermodels at Ballgames I
Kate Upton seated behind the dugout at the Tigers game gets a baseball from her boyfriend, Justin Verlander.

Supermodels at Ballgames II
Chrissy Teigen threw out the first pitch at the Dodgers game. It actually wasn't a bad throw, it did bounce, but at least she threw from the mound.
She was wearing a "40 Nugz" jersey because when she gets drunk she goes to McDonald's and orders...40 Nugz.

Song of the Week

"Bread and Butter" - The Newbeats
I can't believe it's been 50 years since this pop classic took the music world by storm. I'm even more surprised that it has never been an SOTW before.
Were these guys midgets? They look very short to me.

Monday, August 04, 2014

Don't Anger Hunter Pence

Some creative (vindictive?) Mets fan decided to taunt Hunter Pence when the Giants came to town.
They came to the ballpark with a bunch of creative signs:

"Hunter Pence Puts Ketchup On His Hot Dog"

I prefer to eat my dogs plain. But if I had to use a condiment I would much prefer ketchup to mustard.

Insult rating (on the Don Rickles scale):

"Hunter Pence Eats Pizza With a Fork"

This is a more serious one, but it's worse for the Mayor of New York City than it is for an outfielder from Texas

Insult rating:

"Hunter Pence Can't Parallel Park"

Not funny.

Insult Rating:

"Hunter Pence Likes Godfather 3"

Probably the worst thing you can say about a person's character and judgment.

Insult rating:

But Pence had the last laugh as the Giants won 3 out of 4 and Pence went 6 of 18 with 2 doubles, 2 triples, 2 home runs and 7 RBI for a slash line of .333/.368/1.000.