The Reason Gifs Were Invented

Talent prima donna Odell Beckham Jr had a fit on the sidelines after Eli Manning didn't throw him the ball, and he attacked the field goal kicker's practice net. The net fought back.
I suppose it's much funnier if you are not a Giants fan.

Beckham played a great game and he was probably right than no one on the Redskins could cover him, not even his tormentor Josh Norman, and that Eli missed him a couple of times wide open.
It was a horrible game by both teams as they competed to see who could gift the game to the other. Thanks to two interceptions by Eli and a horrible penalty that negated a blocked punt, the Redskins hung on and salvaged their season.

Pulverized

On their first play from scrimmage in their Wild Card round matchup with the Redskins, the Green Bay Packers got 11 yards. On their next 12 plays, the Packers lost four yards.
During that time the Redskins took an 11-0 lead. But it was the points they didn't score that told the story.
Desean Jackson holding the ball behind him, instead of in front, costing the Redskins 4 points

Then Dustin Hopkins missed an extra point, so what should have been 16-0 was only 11-0.

And then the Packers woke up. Their next five drives resulted in 4 touchdowns, 1 2-point conversion and a field goal for 32 points.

The difference was not momentum or any psychological mumbo-jumbo you might here, it was strategic. The Packers went no-huddle and the Redskins were ill-prepared to deal with it. Twice they were caught substituting, both times drawing penalties, but even worse, the second time resulted in a touchdown.

They were also picked apart physically as Rodgers was zipping the ball all over the field for short passes that set up easy first-down conversions.

Another fatal error was a crucial fumble by Kirk Cousins when the Redskins led 11-7 and were driving.

While the defense was crumbling the offense suddenly became unable to move the ball with its previous efficiency.

And the field position game the Redskins had dominated turned against them as well.

This was an unfortunate way for a surprisingly good season to end.

The Redskins had been picked to finish last in the division by pretty much everyone, with record projections consistently between 2-14 and 4-12.

To be honest, the Redskins weren't that good. They were slightly better than the competition, losing all four games they played against winning teams (Panthers, Patriots, Jets and including this one against the Packers).

I'm still not sold on Kirk Cousins as a great NFL QB but the Redskins certainly did better when they unleashed him later in the season after running on first and second down every series for the first 6 weeks (or so it seemed).

But the Redskins definitely have to give Cousins a big contract and bring him back. With a solid offensive line and a talented group of backs and receivers, especially emerging star Jordan Reed, maybe Cousins can continue to improve.

The defense needs a lot of help, especially the linebackers and defensive backs.

But it was a fun season thanks to the shocking performance of Kirk Cousins on the field (best QB in the NFL over final 10 weeks) and in the bowels of the stadium.



And also the hilarious rotundity of video-bombing defensive tackle Chris Baker.

And I like that!

I Like That!

Kirk Cousins bought himself an old school starter jacket on eBay.
Not the cool solid-color hooded one like my beloved Minnesota Twins jacket, but the second generation which I believe was a pullover.
Still pretty cool for the quarterback of the Redskins to walk into the facility rocking this.

Another Redskins Embarrassment

The city of Washington took a break from obsessing over the future of RGIII (at this point he has none) for some good old gossip.
Here's what happened, Jessica McCloughan, the wife of GM Scott McCloughan

sent a couple nasty messages to a local reporter, Dianna Russini, on Twitter.

She asked Russini how many blow jobs she gave to get a story

And she accused Russini of sleeping with her husband.

The Redskins made her apologize, which she did, but a family member said she has been long suspicious of an affair between her husband and Russini.

A New Kind of F or D

Rams coach Jeff Fisher sent out 6 players for the opening coin toss against the Redskins, they happened to be the six players active for Sunday's game who were acquired via the trade for RGIII. They are Stedman Bailey, Michael Brockers, Greg Robinson, Janoris Jenkins, Zac Stacy, and Alec Ogletree.

I definitely think the answer is dickish. If RGIII were playing well and Fisher wanted to say "we like our side" I would say it's funny. But doing it just to show up the Redskins now that things have gone so badly, that's just kicking a guy when he's down.

Quarterback Controversy

The Redskins may soon have a full-blown controversy on their hands.
Robert Griffin III is going miss at least 6 weeks after injuring his ankle against the Jaguars.

Complicating matters even more, Kirk Cousins came and performed great in relief, completing 22 of 33 passes for 250 yards and 2 touchdowns, and setting up 2 other touchdown drives (converted by Alfred Morris).

Note: the last drive, capped by a Silas Redd TD was meaningless though some team with running back issues should offer the Redskins a pick for Redd. He looks fast and strong.

Complicating matters even further is that RGIII has not shown enough (hardly any) progress to believe that he is going to develop into the quarterback the Redskins hoped he would be when they used the second pick in the draft to select him.

Scenario #1: Cousins plays the next 6-8 games as well as he did yesterday. If so, he would be a serious contender for league MVP.
Scenario #2: Cousins has some good games and some bad games. He makes some good plays and some bad plays. The Redskins win some and lose some.
Scenario #3: Cousins plays poorly, throws more touchdown than interceptions and the team loses almost every game he starts.

Scenarios #1 and 3 are easy, it's scenario #2 that's hard. And here's why: After Cousins starts 6-8 games, maybe more, it's going to be hard to bring both quarterbacks back next year for their 4th season.

But unless Cousins is spectacular or even very good, it will be hard to give up on RGIII after one great season and two seasons restricted by injury.

My thoughts: Kirk Cousins has almost zero advantages over RGIII. But he is a more accurate passer, and perhaps more importantly, he seems more willing to "pull the trigger" and throw the ball before mentally confirming the receiver is open. Too often RGIII misses open receivers by waiting an extra half-second. Also, Cousins as yet makes none of the bad decisions that RGIII makes that often lead to penalties, turnovers and injuries.

I think you need to be a star quarterback to win in this league. If you are going to follow the Seahawks model and develop a QB who is a skilled game manager (no QB throws fewer pass attempts than Russell Wilson -- yes, they're winning most of the time), then you need an awesome ball-hawking defense and a solid ground game. Both of which the Redskins might have someday soon.

But if you don't, want you want to win titles you need a star QB. A guy who can make plays and win games on his own. In his only healthy season we saw RGIII do that. I don't think 3 years is enough to permanently write him off as injury-prone or not good enough.

But RGIII had his chance. Now Cousins is getting his.

Even Redskins Fans Can Be Oversensitive Babies

In Virginia, vanity license plates are no additional charge, so many people tend to get them. Some moron is driving around with KLIQ920 plates. And another guy has an Audi with OWWWW-D tags.
One jerk, who is a Cowboys fan judging by the sticker on the back of his car, is riding around with F RG3 on his car. An oversensitive baby, and Redskins fan, took a picture of the offending plate and tweeted it to the Virginia DMV.
It's not offensive, it's funny, if you hate the Redskins, and if you do like the Redskins it's completely meaningless,. Lighten up Redskin fan.

Hail to the Native Americans

I root for the Washington Redskins. I harbor no ill will to Native Americans. I sympathize with their plight, but a team nickname is the least of their problems.
I'm not sure what sparked this latest and most powerful round of outrage but I'm quite certain it wasn't Native Americans, but more likely people who felt guilty about the horrible treatment of the American Indians throughout the years and think the Redskins team name is the latest slight to a downtrodden people.
It's offensive they say. That word is thrown around a lot and I think we need to be very careful in how we interpret it so that we don't get hijacked by the political correctness police.
In order to determine if something is offensive you need to look at the person saying it.
Forget what happened 200 years ago and the historical etymology of the word. Do you think for a minute that any Redskins fan or anyone involved with the team harbors any ill-will, scorn or hatred towards Native Americans? And are any of those people perpetuating the name or the likenesses that go with it as a means of insulting those people in order to economically and socially oppress them?
Of course not.

But we also have to consider those who claim to be offended. Are they seriously hurt by the use of the word and the imagery? I sincerely doubt this. Maybe some do, but there is also a huge portion of the population, according to polls who are honored by the team nicknames. Redskins, Chiefs, Braves were also chosen because they invoke images of proud warriors.

I actually think it would be a shame if this part of Native American culture were wiped out of the public consciousness by some well-meaning and misguided people who think they're helping and by some desperate, helpless Native Americans who want to feel powerful.
So I stand with Dan Snyder and hope he has the will to resist these forces calling for a name change.
I am a Redskins fan, and I am proud of it. Just as Native Americans should be proud of their heritage and the fact that millions of fans each Sunday choose to honor their past by rooting for the Redskins!

How Happy Should I Be?

The Washington Redskins just completed a perfect 4-0 preseason. And our starting QB Robert Griffin III didn't take a single snap.
I really want to believe that this shows something special about the defense, or the offensive line and that once RG3 comes back (if he's at full health, a big if) the Redskins would have to be even better.
But then I looked at this list of NFL teams that went undefeated in the preseason.
Last year the Seahawks went 4-0 and it portended a strong season. But the Eagles also went 4-0, and then went 4-12 during the regular season.
Remember the year the Lions went 0-16? They were 4-0 in the preseason that year.
From 2000 - 2012 inclusive, 25 teams went undefeated in exhibition games. 13 of those teams made the playoffs (52%), 2 of those teams won the Super Bowl (8%), both of which are better than the random expectations (37.5%, 3.3%) but hardly a guarantee.
Now I know that this last game against the ExpensiveCornPrices was played entirely by Pat White, a QB who won't even make the team (though he could be first string on the Jets), but the defense only gave up 6 points in 4 quarters, and played similarly well in the other three games.
If the defense is improved and RG3 is healthy, and the team made the playoffs last year, why is another 10-6 season out of the question?
Or am I getting ahead of myself?

Getting Some Use Out of the "Stupid Things I Do Because They'd Make Good Blog Posts" Tag

Turns out I was able to find a few affordable things still remaining on the wedding registry for Rebecca Liddicoat and Robert Griffin III.



So I sent the couple a lovely orange Kate Spade bath towel.
I've gotten a little more information about this that has turned me slightly against the Griffins. First, they should have made the registry private and given the password to family and friends. Second, there is also an option where the couple could donate 50% or even 100% of the value of the gifts to charity. That would have been nice. They're of course under no obligation to do so, but to not do either of those things makes it seem like they wanted gifts from fans. But we have to go back to the elemental reason you buy someone a gift, to show them you care about them, to make them happy, and because it brings joy to the sender to make the recipient happy. All those reasons still apply here so I am happy I did it and I hope they use my bath towel in good health.

Take Another Little Piece of My Childhood

Over the years I have often been asked why I became a Redskins fan in a family full of Giants fans. Maybe it was because they were Giants fans. But I know I loved the city of Washington (hate it now), John Riggins and the big offensive lineman known as the Hogs.
But I also know I loved the Hogettes. Now those Redskins fans are hanging up their pig noses and ladies' dresses. They will still come to games, but dressed in jerseys and other licensed team apparel. They will still do their charity work. But the era is over.

I Wanted to Punch Him Too

Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman is a professional shit-stirrer. Redskins lineman Trent Williams had enough of his shit by the end of the playoff game last week. Sherman was miked up for NFL Films, you can see him throughout the game being a dick to opposing players, the referees, and even the fans.



I'm surprised that Sherman didn't retaliate, and that a punch from a guy as big and strong as Williams didn't hurt more.

The Most Obvious Hanukkah Present Ever

Two very obvious things happened on Hanukah:
1) I got a Robert Griffin III jersey
2) RG3 got hurt the next day

I can't say this enough times, and I probably mention every week in my brief rant about the Redskins, I love RGIII. He is a great player, and a great role model for my children.
Over the summer, Chase had to create an alphabet book using a picture of an item or two starting with each letter. Normally, Q is difficult one, but not for us. We printed a picture of RGIII from the internet and said "that's our quarterback."
With his superior play, his leadership, his grace, his smile and his panache this is a player Chase and Julian will grow up watching and loving.
And by the time RGIII retires (hopefully after 15 years with the Redskins), they may fit into this jersey.

Washington's Real First Lady

The whole country is smitten with our First Lady Michelle Obama. And they love her even more in Washington DC. Her normal stay-at-home mom wardrobe, her perfectly toned arms and her wonderful caring anti-childhood-obesity program are enough to make you swoon. But there are some holdouts, probably racists and right-wing nuts.
But Washington does have a first lady we can all agree on, Rebecca Liddicoat, soon to be Mrs. Robert Griffin III.
By all accounts, Liddicoat and Griffin have a great relationship. They met and fell in love at Baylor and RG3 proposed to her last year with a love song he wrote himself. The fact that they are different races doesn't matter to them, or anyone who is not Rob Parker.
They certainly look happy.

But there's one thing that nags at me about this, she isn't that hot. Yes, she is pretty, and she'd be attractive enough to date just about any other man. But not the star quarterback, one of the best players in the league. Doesn't RG3 need a smokin' hottie like Lauren Tannehill? Or an international supermodel like Giselle?
But then again, do I really want my star QB involved with some shrew? Don't I want him to have a loving supportive wife who always stands by him and never causes trouble? I think the Mannings have done this right, Peyton Manning's wife Ashley and Eli Manning's wife Abigail are both low-key, but they're also gorgeous, more attractive than the future Mrs. Griffin III.

Results-Oriented

There's a saying in poker, and it applies to all areas of life, it's called being "results-oriented."
It means that you judge decisions solely (or heavily) based upon how they work out. This is a very foolish thing to do in poker and in life as well. Results are based on so many other things that happen after your decision, you can only evaluate your decision based on the information you have at the time.
Right now the Redskins know that they have been starved for years for a franchise quarterback. Peyton Manning is 36, of questionable health and very expensive. Ryan Tannehill of Texas A&M (who the Redskins likley could have gotten if they kept the 6th pick) is far from a sure thing.
Robert Griffin III is fast, strong-armed, fearless and tons of fun to watch.



The Redskins did what they needed to do to get him.
Now let's get back to being results-oriented. Did the Redskins give up too much for him? Maybe. But NFL teams have a chart where points are assigned to each pick in the draft and if you want to acquire one pick, you have to come up with a combination of picks of greater value. The Redskins also faced a climate where several other teams, including Cleveland were likely to be aggressive in going after that number 2 pick.
Unlike poker, where you get thousands of trials for each decisions to smooth out variance, the NFL stands for Not For Long when you are the coach or GM of a losing team. And unlike poker where once you put your chips in you can't affect the cards, in the NFL you can do things after the decision is made to make the decision look better.
The Redskins can coach RG3, they can acquire good lineman and good receivers to assist him. They can create a game plan to help him develop. If they do those things right, this trade will look great 10 years down the road, no matter how many picks they forfeited.
But if he turns out to be a bust, then this is a bad trade, no matter how many picks the critics thought they should have given up.
But sitting here today, I think it is a great trade. It is a bold aggressive move to remake the franchise into a contender for years to come. And I defy anyone, right now, to tell me the Redskins chances for future success are better with 4 nebulous draft picks over the next 3 years, than they are with one Robert Griffin III.

Success and Sacrifice

On a recent episode of NFL Films Presents I caught up with some childhood heroes as the show visited a retreat sponsored by Coach Gibbs, gathering every player from the 4 Super Bowl teams he coached.
I was particularly moved by defensive end Charles Mann. He said when he wants to be reminded about his successes in life he looks at the ring finger on his right hand, where he wears his Super bowl ring.


When he wants to be reminded about the sacrifices needed to achieve that success he looks at the ring finger on his left hand.

Albert Haynesworth Uses the "I Don't Even Like Black Girls" Defense

Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth is fat, lazy, surly, overpaid and evidently his opinion of himself is just as inflated as his fat ass.

On February 12th, Haynesworth was at a private birthday party at the P.O.V. Roof Terrace and Lounge at the W Hotel in Washington DC.

As the party was ending Haynesworth called over the waitress to pay his bill. She came over but was holding dirty dishes. She told him to wait until she put them down but he insisted on paying immediately.

So he put the debit card in one place he knew she could carry it, her bra. She says he then grabbed and fondled her breast even though she told him to stop.

Witnesses said Haynesworth said to her “I’m just going to put my card right here.” She allegedly nodded in approval, but told him to take his hand off her breast.

Maybe she was ok with him sliding it in there, but not with him touching her boob. Not sure what she was thinking. But she must have been upset, because when his card was declined, she sent another employee over to his table to get an alternate payment.

Haynesworth says he did nothing wrong and he will not accept a plea deal. This is his defense:

“I know what this is about. She is just upset I have a white girlfriend. I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a black girl. She was trying to get with me. I don’t even like black girls."

Is Julian a Poor Bastard?

I sent this picture of Julian in his Redskins outfit to Master Bates and he wrote back "Poor bastard, a lifetime of suffering."

The Democrats Need Someone with Proven Leadership in Washington

Representative Heath Shuler says he will challenge Nancy Pelosi for the position of House Minority Leader when Congress goes back in session in the new year. Shuler has no chance of winning because despite her insanity Democrats still love her. Also, Shuler is about as conservative as a Democrat can be (he’s from North Carolina, big on family values and a fiscal conservative) which means he’s mostly unpopular inside his own party. What he’s hoping to accomplish by this is to bring the Democrats back to the center instead of the far left where Obama and Pelosi have taken them.



I’m a major supporter of Shuler’s because I like his politics and because he’s the best quarterback the Redskins have had since Mark Rypien. Unfortunately his career was derailed by injuries. But maybe it was a blessing in disguise because now he was forced to turn to a second career, one in which he can accomplish goals toward a greater good.

Upon Further Review

ESPN completely blew its initial reporting on Donovan McNabb's new contract causing me to overreact.
Turns out the $40m guaranteed figure was completely wrong. The only thing he is guaranteed is $3.75m. They paid him that money for the right to lock him in at $12.5m for next season. But if this year ends in disaster (seems quite possible) and they decide to part ways, they can. If not, they pay him a $10m bonus and another $2.5m in base salary for 2011. After that they can cut him at any time, like any other NFL contract. If not, his salary is about $13m per, not including incentives.
So while the deal is bad, and especially ill-timed it is not the franchise killer I feared when I read ESPN’s initial erroneous reporting.