Saturday, March 15, 2008


One crazy, impossible, buzzer-beating, game-winning shot is a fluke, 2 is a coincidence, but since I don't believe in coincidences, I'll just go ahead and say that if I'm down 1, I want the ball in Blake Hoffarber's hands.
Please review the evidence.

Pain in the Ass

Houston Astros second baseman Kazuo Matsui will undergo surgery to repair an anal fissure on Monday in Houston.

Matsui has struggled with the health problem for much of spring training and was diagnosed with the condition earlier this week. The expected recovery time after the surgery is two weeks.

Story suggested by Master Bates

Friday, March 14, 2008

Pat Kiernan Will Not Laugh At Your Silly Jokes

NY1's Pat Kiernan won't give in to an idiot reporter making "Coming to America" references on air.
Pat actually has a great sense of humor but he was just pressed for time here or he definitely could have come up with a good quip.

A Sorry But Accurate Indictment of Michigan Basketball

15 years after being at the top (or one timeout away from the top) of college basketball, Michigan is now at the bottom of the Big Ten. After a win against Iowa (which came despite a 10 minute scoreless streak), Michigan is 10-21, a record accurately described in this sign.

worse than 2 girls 1 cup

If you don't get this sign, consider yourself lucky. If you are really curious go home and google 2 girls 1 cup, but not after just having eaten a big heavy meal. Do not do it at work.

Welcome Back

I was going to put off this post until Monday but I might as well say it now: "How I Met Your Mother" is coming back on Monday, March 17, St. Patrick's Day, finally!
The Chicago Tribune has a great article about what we can expect from the rest of the season, but if you like to go in completely fresh, don't read it, there is a lot of info, not spoilers, but info.
Here a couple things I think are important enough to point out without giving too much away. Monday's episode was salvaged from before the strike, and the New Year's Eve setting was changed to St. Patrick's Day.
Vanessa Minillo guest stars.
And Britney Spears, yes Britney Spears got her act together long enough to film a guest spot on the March 24 episode.
And lots of other good stuff is in store for us as well.
I can't wait.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Not Spitzer's Lucky Number Either

New York State lottery officials closed down betting on 871 because too many New Yorkers were playing the number - the hotel room where Eliot Spitzer banged a hooker.
Officials retired the number for Tuesday night's Daily Numbers game after it reached $5 million in sales.
The lottery cuts off sales to numbers when they reach $5 million in order to limit the state's payout should the number hit.
But it turned out to be as unlucky for gamblers as it was for Spitzer: Tuesday evening's winning number was 662.

Top Sports Sex Scandals

Newsday runs down their top 6 sex scandals in the world of sports.

1. Kobe Bryant accused of rape
2. Marv Albert's kinky sex life
3. Stephon Marbury's truck party
4. Wade Boggs's 10 year affair
5. Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich swap wives
6. The Gold Club

Honorable mention: James Worthy's hiring of two prostitutes, Falcons free safety Eugene Robinson's arrest for solicitation the night before Super Bowl XXXIII, Dennis Eckersley's returning from spring training in the 1970s to find that teammate Rick Manning had stolen his wife.

For full details read the article, but I think Marbury's truck party was a New York bias. And the scandal that I would rank number 1, didn't even make their list, the Minnesota Vikings Sex boat.

Other Yankees News

Billy Crystal will play in today's game for the Yankees.
He signed a contract so he could play while he's still 59.
He turns 60 on Friday and will wear number 60.

Yankees coach Stump Merrill gets taken off the field after he was hit in the head with a foul ball before the game against the Rays on Thursday.

Looks like Mrs. Poop's dad picked an exciting time to go to spring training.

My Doppelganger

The more I listen to Doug Gottlieb the more I like him. Maybe I like him because he sounds just like. Everything he says here about Syracuse is what I've been saying for weeks. Like me, everyone thinks he hates Syracuse but we're actually talking openly and honestly about SU while everyone else wears they're Orange-colored glasses.
And we're both nice, jewish boys.
Seems too bad because this year Boeheim probably won't even gather the troops to watch the Selection Show.

I Would Have Been Expelled

8th grader Michael Sheridan was stripped of his title as class vice president, barred from attending an honors student dinner and suspended for a day after buying a bag of Skittles from a classmate.
The New Haven, Connecticut school system banned candy sales in 2003 as part of a districtwide school wellness policy.
The superintendent said that the principal was just trying to keep students safe, but that he would review the decision to suspend Michael.
Michael says that he didn't realize his candy purchase was against the rules, but he did notice that the student selling the Skittles was being secretive.

The Yankee Way

Clean Play: Tampa Bay's Elliott Johnson breaks the arm of Yankees catcher Francisco Cervelli in a home plate collision. I know it's preseason but Johnson is trying to make the team, or at least prove something to Rays brass.

Yankee whining: Girardi says it's not the time for a play like that. If not now when? Johnson isn't going to get another chance.

Clean Play: Heath Phillips hits Evan Longoria, it's part of the game. Don't headhunt, but you can send a message.

Dirty Play: Shelley Duncan slides into second with his spikes up.

Crazy Play: Jonny Gomes comes running in from rightfield and shoves Duncan.

But at least the Yankees don't have beards. That makes them classy.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre, Your 15 Minutes of Fame Start Now

The New York Times reports that Ashley Alexandra Dupre, is actually "Kristen," the hooker with whom Eliot Spitzer ruined his career and his life.
Most of the information in the story comes from her MySpace page which says she is an aspiring musician.
She does have one single she is selling and its not bad.
I actually hope she gets a successful music career out of this. Why not root for her?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Requiem For a Season

Jim Boeheim can start bitching now, about how his 13 loss team got screwed.

The committee didn't screw Syracuse, Syracuse screwed Syracuse.

I'm glad they finally played a tough schedule, but they didn't win these games.

Donte Greene is definitely leaving, and Paul Harris will probably go too.

The class of 2008 is the first graduating class at Syracuse in the modern era of the NCAA tournament not to see Syracuse win a tournament game.

Syracuse - Villanova Live Blog

Villanova 82 Syracuse 63

2:00 - Chase just took a nasty dump. Fitting.

1:56 - This game will be the legacy of this team. When they absolutely positively had to get it done, they couldn't. Not against Georgetown, not against Pitt, and not here against Villanova.

1:54 - This game has turned into a laugher. SU is chucking up 3s (Scoop made 2) and Villanova is breaking the press and getting easy layups.

1:46 - SU has 6 points in the last 8 minutes. Onuaku fouled out and Bilas and Raftery aren't even calling the game anymore. This is an embarrassing loss.

1:43 - Wow, they're playing man and Nova is in the Jim Boeheim no points offense. But Flynn chucked a 3. SU is not passing the ball. Oh my, a horrible move by Greene. He didn't get a shot or a pass, he just drove the lane and gave the ball up. They are playing so awful right now. Chase is crying for the first time all game. 63-47, 5 minutes to go.

1:41 - Villanova has scored 42 points in about 16 minutes. Any normal coach would change defensive strategies. Not Boeheim. He'd rather lose than try something new.

1:40 - Starting with that run at the end of the first half, Villanova is on a 42-19 run. Domination.

1:39 - Reynolds hits another one, that was because SU is pressing. They keep trying to get every Nova 3 back by jacking one up quickly on the other end. It's not working. A poorly coached, undisciplined young team is pissing away their season right now. 61-47.

1:37 - Scottie Reynolds just hit a fall away 3. This game is over. Raftery says they have to switch to man. Will never happen. Boeheim would rather lose by 50 then switch defenses. 58-47.

1:36 - Villanova is 6 of 7 in the 2nd half from 3 and Onuaku is on the bench with 4 fouls. Might be time to go to man to man.

1:35 - Greene airballs a 3 but gets another chance and nails it. Nova finally missed a 3, but Onuaku swung an elbow and dusted a guy picking up a foul.

1:34 - Another NBA range 3. 52-42, Nova, the season is sliding away.

1:31 - SU is just jacking up the first shot they find and Villanova is killing them on the break. 48-42, Villanova.

1:25 - Nova hits an NBA 3. They are 4 for 4 from downtown in the second half. Lucky shooting or bad defense?

1:22 - Kristof airballs a 3. They are not taking advantage of Onauku's size advantage. Villanova is killing the zone for offensive rebounds and 3-pointers. But Flynn makes a nice move to tie the game at 41.

1:15 - Villanova is figuring out how to break the zone. They are driving, dishing, ballfaking and nailing 3s. 37-35, SU.

1:12 - Now Harris picks one off the deck for a layup and SU retakes a 5 point lead.

1:11 - Another hustle basket by Kristof, but Anderson hits another 3, tie game at 32.

1:09 - Kristof grabs a rebound amongst 3 Wildcats to give SU back the lead. 30-29.

12:51 - Doug Gottlieb correctly points out that this typifies Syracuse, 18 good minutes, then getting greedy and getting lazy. Tom Brennan "accidentally" calls Villanova Vermont. Way to rub it in asshole.

12:49 - Dwayne Anderson hits a last second 3 to cut the lead to 28-27 at the half. 8 straight points allowed puts the Orange in a 20 minute fight for their life. I'll be back in about 15 minutes.

12:48 - Flynn makes another bad pass, leading to a fast break for Nova. 28-24.

12:46 - Raf on Paul Harris: "He is incredibly endowed." Bilas chuckled. I laughed out loud.

12:44 - SU is playing too fast, Flynn is turning the ball over. Nova is playing too slow, not swinging the ball to make the zone get out of position.

12:41 - We just heard something we weren't supposed to but I couldn't quite make it out. They were showing Otto and I think Raf was making fun of the Providence Friar.

12:40 - Buffalo Wild Wings commercial where the boss comes in and everyone hides. I love the guy hiding in the claw machine. And the guy behind the framed jersy. Hilarious!

12:38 - Raf said they were concerned about McDonough early in the season because he was a little sluggish. Bilas says "we were concerned you were gonna get better." A good laugh was had by all.

12:37 - Monster dunk by Kristof waved off because he traveled first.

12:36 - Onuaku just knocked the ball out off a Villanova player, but pointed the wrong way when asking for the call.

12:34 - Greene goes glass right after Bilas pointed out that SU didn't build a big enough lead while Nova was struggling. Nova just grabbed 2 offensive rebounds and hit a free throw. Beautiful cut by Flynn, great pass by Greene. SU is going to the rim, 26-18, 5 minutes left.

12:27 - SU is falling in love with the 3. And as Bilas pointed out, the better their offense, the better they play on defense and the converse is true as well. 20-13 with 8 minutes left.

12:23 - Flynn just broke Scottie Reynolds's ankles but lost the ball. Reynolds had a break and Scoop clobbered him.

12:22 - Unconscious! Greene hits his third straight 3. 18-7 lead, 13-2 run.

12:17 - Evidently Onuaku is playing this game with hands he borrowed from Etan Thomas. Greene nails a 3, he found the correct line, and then another. Jay Wright takes a TO and SU leads 15-7.

12:11 - Paul Harris nails another 3, as Raf calls for him to throw it inside to Onuaku. First TV timeout, SU leads, 8-5.

12:09 - Paul Harris nails a 3. 3-2, 4 minutes into this one.

12:07 - Two minutes and no points. McDonough sarcastically calls it good defense. And one of these teams will be complaining when they don't get in. You don't lose 12 games by accident.

12:05 - Syracuse wins the tip and Villanova comes out in mantaman. Kristof bricks a 3.

12:02 - ESPN starts the game with a lame rap proclaiming the Big East Tournament as better than reality TV.

12:01 - Live from the Poop House, SU versus Villanova in a must win game. Join me as I try to avoid barking dogs and crying babies to bring you the latest action in this crucial game.

The World is Taking Notice

All year I've been singing the praises of Belgian glue-guy Kristof Ongenaet. Now that he has recently stepped up his play to match my praise the Associated Press did a nice profile of him.

Song of the Week

"Never Never Land" - Lyfe Jennings
This song is awesome, his voice is awesome and his name is awesome. My parents really screwed me here. How much cooler would this blog be if it were called Lyfe's Poop?
"It feels like something's moving inside of me
My heart is doing backflips in spite of me
And there's no place that I would rather be
With you and my kids, my family
I think about you constantly
You know you'll be my wife, eventually"

Record Label Link

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I Hope She Covers the Story

If Eliot Spitzer resigns, the next governor of New York will be David Paterson.
This is how Cynthia Izaguirre might report the story: "He's the new governor of one of the biggest states in the country, New York. BUT...he's gay, I mean, he's blind."

Actually Paterson is blind, and black, which would give him a unique double, as New York has never had a governor who was either of those things.

Note: This is possibly my favorite youtube clip of all-time. I have seen it over 100 times and I still laugh hysterically.

If You Can't Call In Madness

For the first year since I got a job, I won't be taking time off to watch March Madness this year because someone beat me to those days off.

But now I have an idea of how I can get out of work:

"The Oregon Urology Institute is running a college-basketball-themed vasectomy promotion, urging men to "lower your seed for the tournament."

"When March Madness approaches you need an excuse ... to stay at home in front of the big screen," says the radio ad. "Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts.

"It's snip city."

The idea came from institute administrator and self-proclaimed "sports guy" Terry FitzPatrick. He knows men should spend two to four days relaxing and recovering after a vasectomy — though some don't, he notes, including a man who hopped on his motorcycle with painful results.

"Wouldn't it be ideal," FitzPatrick thought, "just to be able to have your vasectomy so you could watch March Madness?"

The clinic has no special offers for women who want to watch the tournament in peace.

The Springfield, Ore., practice held in reserve a dozen "premium vasectomy appointments" for March 19, the day before the men's NCAA basketball tournament starts, and another dozen for March 26, before the tournament's second week. It advertised only on a sports-talk station in Eugene.

FitzPatrick said he had hoped to book one or two of the outpatient surgeries, enough to cover costs, though he wouldn't reveal the price, citing competitors.

Fifteen men have signed up. FitzPatrick expects to fill all 24 slots and to make the promotion annual.

"It was just kind of a trial balloon," he said. "It just blew up."

To help sell the idea, the radio station promised to send each fixed fan a "recovery kit" that includes sports magazines, free pizza delivery and a bag of frozen peas to help reduce swelling."

Dancing Prisoners Can't Touch This

The Dancing Prisoners at the Cebu Prison in the Phillippines who first caught our attention with their "Thriller" video, are back with more madcap hijinks. This time it's a medley of the Soulja Boy and the Hammer Dance.

Exactly How It Went Down With Clemens and Pettitte Too

During his speech introducing Madonna for induction to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame, Justin Timberlake told of how he felt ill one day while working on Madonna's new album and she asked whether he wanted a B-12 shot.
He said sure, expecting a doctor to show up, but Madonna pulled out a syringe and said, "drop 'em."
After he pulled his pants back up, "she looked at me and said, 'That's top shelf,' and that was one of the greatest days of my life," he said.
"Everything he said is basically true," Madonna confirmed, "but I didn't say 'drop em' I said, 'pull your pants down.'"

I'll Give You Lessons

This nasty exchange between Jim Ryan and some reporter apparently happened a few years ago but it's new to me. I can't believe an anchor would behave this inappropriately on air. These two obviously had some history.

Public Enemy Number 1

There is only one announcer to whom I'd listen call a game I wasn't interested in, just because he was calling the game.
That announcer is Vin Scully, whose dulcet tones, have given rise to this nickname for Clayton Kershaw's nasty curveball.

This reminds me of when a young Dwight Gooden used to throw Lord Charles.

Nails's Favorite Golfer

PGA Tour golfer Tripp Isenhour killed a rare, protected red-shouldered hawk.
Isenhour was shooting a TV show at the Grand Cypress Golf course.
The hawk was squawking, disrupting their shot. Isenhour began hitting balls at the bird who was 300 yards away.
The hawk got closer, 75 yards away, giving Isenhour another shot.
Isenhour said "I'll get him now," and aimed for the hawk.
After the 6th ball nearly got him, Isenhour got excited, and fired a couple more balls. One of them hit the bird which fell to the ground bleeding.
The killing was not caught on video.
Unlike this famous bird killing footage.

The Most Important Song I Ever Heard

During the 50s and 60s "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" was one of the most popular shows on TV. One of the stars of the show was their son Ricky who went on to have a very successful career as a recording artist.
Ricky became a teen idol and had 30 Top-40 hits. But by the mid-60s the music world had moved on without him.
On October 15, 1971, Nelson was invited to play at a Rock N Roll Revival Concert at Madison Square Garden.
By this time, Nelson had foresaken his clean-cut teen idol image and took the stage with long hair, wearing bell bottoms and a purple velvet shirt.
Nelson played his old songs like "Hello, Mary Lou" but when he played a cover version of the Rolling Stones "Honky Tonk Woman," the crowd booed.
Nelson walked off the stage and refused to come back out for the finale.
This incident inspired Nelson to write the Most Important Song I Ever Heard.
The song is called "Garden Party" and talks about the concert ("I played them all the old songs, thought that's why the came") and talked about the other performers who were there and gave the crowd what they wanted, like Chuck Berry ("out stepped Johnny B. Goode, playing guitar like a ringin a bell, and lookin like he should").
Nelson was so upset about the crowd reaction that he wrote "if memories were all I sang, I'd rather drive a truck."
But it was this experience that brought Nelson to the realization (and inspired me to do the same) which is "Garden Party"'s refrain: "You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."

As fate might have it, the booing that prompted Nelson to walk off stage quite possibly was directed at police who had moved through the crowd. As so often happens, perhaps the greatest discovery of his life, was made by accident.

Note: This entire post is an exercise in what Nelson taught me. I'm sure few of you care about Ricky Nelson or the song that inspired me to become such a selfish prick. But I love the song, and this is my blog and you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself.

Addendum: Nelson may have cemented his status as a rock n roll legend when he died in a plane crash on New Year's Eve 1985 at the age of 45.

Spitzer Sex Scandal

Normally I avoid talking about the major news stories because I really don't have much to add.
But I do have to make a few points about Eliot Spitzer getting caught as a client of a high-priced prostitution ring.

No high-profile man is faithful to his wife. And it's partly their fault for refusing to leave their cheating husbands. And the icon for this new breed of spineless woman could be our next President.

I can't wait until someone comes out with a picture of this whore, Kristen.
Hey Playboy she's “an American, petite, very pretty brunette, 5 feet 5 inches, and 105 pounds.” Does that sound like something you might be interested in?

If you are going to cheat on your wife with a high-priced hooker and ruin your career in the process, Room 871 of the Mayflower Hotel seems like a nice place to do it.

If you haven't read anything about this story and watch to catch up, especially on the lascivious details, this New York Times article is the best place to do so, in part because it includes the following passage:

"When she called Ms. Lewis, they discussed the client’s reputation as a “difficult” man who sometimes asked the prostitutes “to do things you might not think were safe,” Ms. Lewis said. But Kristen, according to court papers, was prepared: “I have a way of dealing with that,” she is quoted as having told Ms. Lewis. “I’d be like, Listen, dude, you really want the sex? ...You know what I mean.” The fact was that Kristen liked him, though, and told Ms. Lewis that he wasn’t all that difficult."

Note: The New York Times website allows you to doubleclick on a word, and get the word's definition. Looking up "sang-froid" couldn't possibly be any easier.

If like me, you prefer to read source material, here is the entire criminal complaint.

Spitzer wanted to leave the hotel key for "Kristen" in an envelope with The Concierge. But evidently they didn't trust him because they instructed Spitzer to leave the door slightly ajar so Kristen could go right to the room.

Second Chance

Sometimes in life, you do get a second chance. A great new series called "Breaking Bad" started on AMC and now that the season is over I'm ready to recommend it to Poopheads.
Some of the episodes are available on line but they will also begin replaying it (only a 7 episode season) every Sunday night at 10 pm.
The show is not for everyone, those of you who prefer explosions and flying Chinese people to actual character development, this show is probably not for you.
But if you want to see a well-written well-acted show, you will definitely enjoy "Breaking Bad"
It's basically the story of how (and why) Walter White (played brilliantly by Bryan Cranston) goes from milquetoast chemistry teacher,

to badass drug dealer.

But like I said, this show doesn't have a lot of action or explosions, it just has good character development. And every episode doesn't end with a dramatic turn, in fact, this, is basically how the season ended:

If you want to see what shocked Walter and Jesse, starting watching, Sunday at 10 pm on AMC.

Monday, March 10, 2008

A Late Vote in WYB?

The U.S. women's soccer team posed with Portuguese policeman after practice and one of the bomb-sniffing dogs licked goalie Hope Solo. I guess he wants to vote yes.

Shawn Kemp's Future Domination Plans for the NBA

Shawn Kemp has at least 7 kids, maybe as many as 13, and at least a few of them seem to have bright futures in the NBA.
During an appearance on "Best Damn Sports Show Period" Kemp discussed the basketball prowess of his brood:

"Chris Rose: You said you got a 16 year old that can ball.
Shawn Kemp: I got a 16 year old that can ball. I got three boys at home that can really play. And I tell you what I got a 7 year old that's incredible.
Hannah Storm: How tall?
Shawn Kemp: He's about 4-foot-5 right now but there's nothing he can't do on the basketball court."

Maybe all the kids can play for the same team and drive the announcers crazy.

The Maximum of Their Abilities

My favorite clip from my favorite movie. I used to have this memorized but time has robbed me off all the exact words. Enjoy Coach Pete Bell's postgame speech from "Blue Chips."

For the impatient Poopheads, "tractor" comes at 2:30, and "losing season" begins at 4:56.

Sportscaster University

Of all the colleges in the country, I really can't think of another school that dominates a profession the way Syracuse churns out sports broadcasters.

Here's a list of sportscasters down to the local evening news guys like John Smist, who went to Syracuse.

Update: Carter Blackburn will be doing some NCAA Tournament games with Jay Bilas. Dick Enberg will do some but apparently at his age lacks the vim to do them all, so Blackburn will fill in.

I've Gotta Start Doing the Dishes More Often

A new report (which is a study of several studies) concludes that men don't match women 50/50 when it comes to housework but we are making strides.
And that could help us get laid.
One study found that men's contribution to housework had doubled over the past four decades; another found men tripled the time spent on child care over that span.
"If a guy does housework, it looks to the women like he really cares about her -- he's not treating her like a servant," said Joshua Coleman, who is affiliated with the Council on Contemporary Families which compiled the report. "And if a women feels stressed out because the house is a mess and the guy's sitting on the couch while she's vacuuming, that's not going to put her in the mood."

Abusive College Fans

One of the best things about college basketball (besides March Madness) is the passion of the fans and the school rivalries that are created by years and years of playing the same school twice. But recently fans are going overboard in their exuberance. Where in my day I went with the blatant insults ("I fuckin hate you Garrity!," students now use Facebook to gather embarrassing information and/or pictures to really get under a player's skin.
Sports Illustrated ran a great article full of examples, here are a few:

Oregon fans, spurned by Kevin Love, who is from Oregon and whose father went to Oregon, somehow got Love's phone number, and left death threats on his voice mail. During the game the fans taunted Love's family so much that his grandmother was reduced to tears.

A year after breaking Tyler Hansbrough's nose with an elbow, Duke forward Gerald Henderson saw his face on thousands of wanted posters on his next visit to North Carolina. Look closely at the signs (click to enlarge) to see what Henderson is wanted for.

it says assault, battery and public douchebaggery

Duke is a frequent target when they hit the road and Duke guard Greg Paulus is the latest in a long line (Christian Laettner, JJ Redick) of whiny little Duke bitches whom fans pick on. Virginia Tech fans chanted "Teabag Paulus" as an allusion to this dunk by Deron Washington over Paulus.

But maybe the worst of these incidents was when UAB played Memphis earlier this year (and almost won). Fans taunted Memphis forward Robert Dozier who had been accused of slapping his girlfriend. This misspelled sign was only part of the fan reaction that almost caused a Pistons-esque brawl, (Pierre Niles slapped a fan).

And as if the sign weren't enough take a closer look at the chick right next to the sign guy. She is wearing a shirt that says "I Dated Dozier," and has makeup giving the appearance of a black eye, and Dozier is a few feet away staring at them.

Perhaps the most cruel example mentioned in the article happened 20 years ago. Steve Kerr was taunted by Arizona State fans with chants of "PLO!" In 1984, Kerr's father was killed by terrorists in Beiruit.

Here are a few more signs that I found humorous, in good spirit and generally enjoyable:

It's ok to pick on coaches, especially when like Mark Mangino, the coach is 500 lbs.

And a creative Memphis fan manages to take a swipe at our boy Bruce Pearl (who will be featured on Real Sports on HBO on March 10th), and take Pat Summitt down too.

One below the belt shot at a coach was famous around SU during my time there. Someone once held up a sign that said "Mike Jarvis Beats His Wife." I don't believe there were then or have ever been domestic abuse allegations against Jarvis. But Billy still references this to me whenever we see Jarvis. I think he did an SU game earlier this year and Billy texted me "I wonder how his wife is doing." The point is, Dome security immediately confiscated that sign and arena security in these other places should probably be a little more proactive in squashing this inappropriate over-the-top taunting.


A powerful storm swept through Fair Lawn Saturday night bringing rain and high winds. At one point the winds were so strong that I couldn't even open the front door. It was like being back in the Carrier Dome. So when I took Diesel for his Sunday stroll we had to navigate over a fallen tree and some loose branches in the park. So we went out onto the street (which Mrs. Poop told us was closed the night before) and things looked even worse (or better, if that isn't your house).

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Erin Andrews Loves College Basketball

An enterprising Kansas fan holds up a sign which says "Erin Andrews Loves the HardWood."

Preparing for the Madness

To get ready for the first round of the NCAA Tournament in less than two weeks, I immersed myself in college basketball this weekend. Here are the games I saw and some comments:

Georgetown 55 Louisville 52
Even though this was a low scoring game it was pretty exciting throughout. And even though Louisville lost I was more impressed with them than I was with Georgetown. I think the Hoyas will end up a 2 seed and they'll win a couple games but their offense is unimaginative and I just don't see another Final Four in their future.

USC 77 Stanford 64
Here's your guide for watching Stanford: Brook is the Lopez twin with the short hair. And he's the better player. Robin has the Sideshow Bob look and all he does is play defense and rebound. (Brook and Robin? Think their parents wanted girls?). Those two will help Stanford overpower some teams in the early rounds but I just don't see them being able to score enough points consistently to make a deep run. I love USC. They were in anyway but this win gives them further credibility and I can see them making the Sweet 16. I love O.J. Mayo. This was his best game all year. He was scoring and dishing and making good decisions. Write this down, the team that passes on him in the NBA Draft to take Beasley is making a big mistake.

Syracuse 87 Marquette 72
Syracuse stepped up big in a game they absolutely had to have. It was probably their best game of the season against a quality opponent. Donte Greene grew up in this game. Instead of waiting outside for someone to drive and kick it to him for a 3, Greene posted up, drove and otherwise got himself easy shots. He might have emerged as a go-to guy. But because a lot of other bubble teams (Ohio State, Oregon, Kentucky, Oklahoma, Illinois State) also won big games this weekend, I still think SU needs one more win to make the field.

Donte Greene and Kristof Ongenaet celebrate

UCLA 81 California 80
Another miracle win for UCLA aided by a bad call by the referee. UCLA got the possession on an out of bounds play late that I think should have been Cal's ball. But even so that doesn't overshadow the fact that UCLA made an incredible comeback helped by a tough 3 by Kevin Love (onions!) and an incredible over the backboard shot by Josh Shipp. Love is another player who I think will have a better NBA career than Michael Beasley.

North Carolina 76 Duke 68
I've never been one to subscribe to the theory that this game is all that's right with college basketball but it certainly is a lot more fun to watch than most other games. The crowd is going nuts the whole time, the announcers are forced to watch from a press box rather than from court level, and they can barely be heard over the screaming. Among the great fans, Speedo guy who tries to distract UNC players by crotch chopping while they're shooting free throws. ESPN showed this guy for a good long time (and Erin Andrews seemed distracted, it's ixnay, not nixay) but they later apologized. There's nothing offensive about a guy gesticulating at his genitals. It might be unseemly but it's not offensive. It's exactly what they should be showing us so we can appreciate the atmosphere.

As for the game UNC is damn good, Hansbrough is very hard to handle and Duke basically is a team of 3-point shooting white kids. If they're hot they can beat anyone, if not they can get upset by anyone.

Oregon 78 Arizona 69
The Pit at Oregon may be a poor man's Cameron Indoor. The crowd was electric during the whole game and especially when Tajuan Porter went off, nailing 3s and burying Arizona. I think Ted Robinson is color blind because when he tried to describe Oregon's jerseys he asked Marques Johnson for help. Johnson said "different," which obviously didn't help Robinson because he later described them as "shocking lime." They were yellow.
Arizon's Chase Budinger puked on the court, right after he made a driving layup. While describing the incident, Marques Johnson said "he gave it up."
The director for FSN must have been reading the Pride and the Pageantry because he got closeups several times of Oregon's smoking hot cheerleader, Kelsi Metzler who for some reason is continuing to refuse to be my friend on Facebook.

Kentucky 75 Florida 70
Kentucky clinched a berth with a win here and I think they knocked Florida out. Florida has a guy named Speights whose first name is pronounced like Maurice but spelled like this: Marreese.

Drake 79 Illinois State 49
I still think Illinois State is going to make it in on the strength of their regular season performance and their two wins in the tournament. The Missouri Valley has gotten two teams in for 9 years in a row, and in several of those years they got a team to the Sweet 16, two years ago they got Wichita State and Bradley. Drake held a slim 18-17 lead early, then they just went off, hitting everything, going on a 19-0 run, and ISU never recovered. I could see Drake getting a 5 or 6 and if Syracuse gets in the committee would match them up to punish Boeheim. With Drake's outside shooting they would tear the 2-3 zone to pieces.
Adam Emmenecker is a ham-and-egger. Dick Enberg loves him.