If You Can't Call In Madness

For the first year since I got a job, I won't be taking time off to watch March Madness this year because someone beat me to those days off.

But now I have an idea of how I can get out of work:

"The Oregon Urology Institute is running a college-basketball-themed vasectomy promotion, urging men to "lower your seed for the tournament."

"When March Madness approaches you need an excuse ... to stay at home in front of the big screen," says the radio ad. "Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts.

"It's snip city."

The idea came from institute administrator and self-proclaimed "sports guy" Terry FitzPatrick. He knows men should spend two to four days relaxing and recovering after a vasectomy — though some don't, he notes, including a man who hopped on his motorcycle with painful results.

"Wouldn't it be ideal," FitzPatrick thought, "just to be able to have your vasectomy so you could watch March Madness?"

The clinic has no special offers for women who want to watch the tournament in peace.

The Springfield, Ore., practice held in reserve a dozen "premium vasectomy appointments" for March 19, the day before the men's NCAA basketball tournament starts, and another dozen for March 26, before the tournament's second week. It advertised only on a sports-talk station in Eugene.

FitzPatrick said he had hoped to book one or two of the outpatient surgeries, enough to cover costs, though he wouldn't reveal the price, citing competitors.

Fifteen men have signed up. FitzPatrick expects to fill all 24 slots and to make the promotion annual.

"It was just kind of a trial balloon," he said. "It just blew up."

To help sell the idea, the radio station promised to send each fixed fan a "recovery kit" that includes sports magazines, free pizza delivery and a bag of frozen peas to help reduce swelling."