Saturday, July 18, 2009

Every Sports Bloggers' Dream

A video surfaced on the internet of Erin Andrews naked in her hotel room.
Click here to watch but it is very NSFW.

The video was taken through the peephole of a hotel room door (I didn't know you could really get a clear image shooting that way) and you can see her pussy, then tits and finally her face, and it sure looks a lot like Erin Andrews.

Her lawyer even released a statement admitting it is her.

So wow, there's a peephole video of Erin Andrews naked on the internet -- and as expected she has a pretty dope body. While I feel badly for her for being violated in this way, I've always wanted to see her naked.

But I wonder how this is possible. Beyond the questions about how to shoot the wrong way through a peephole, I also wonder why she was walking around the room stark naked, then approaching the door. And how long was this guy out in front of her room with a camera pointed at the peephole? Wouldn't he have been there for hours just waiting for her to walk up the door? And how could he even know she likes to walk around naked? I think most people go right from the shower to get dressed without prancing around in the nude. But I guess most people don't have tits like those.

Thanks to SCZA for the link. SCZA points to more videos here.

Friday, July 17, 2009

I Am the Friendliest Person in the World

After reading of my previous train station encounter Mrs. Poop questioned my motives, assuming the poker-loving cell phone screamer must have been hot. But my latest act of civility went much farther, and to a much less attractive woman, proving to Mrs. Poop and the rest of you haters that I really am a good person.

On the way home I finally had a minute to detour in Penn Station to find the new Tim Hortons, after being swayed by the company's guerrilla marketing.

Much to my delight, Tim Horton's was packed, but running efficiently (4 lines with a greeter directing customers to the shortest line.

I ordered my 20 chocolate Timbits ($3.79 in Penn Station, $2.75 in Canada) and went on my way. I was quite pleased with the Timbits, still warm, soft and moist and without excessive glaze.

When I arrived in Secaucus one of the workers there (the aforementioned unattractive lady) asked me what I was eating. I explained to her the whole story about Tim Horton's being a Canadian chain, and opening its first 13 stores in New York City this week.

Then I did the unthinkable and gave her a Timbit.

As I walked away I was proud of myself for being so nice to a stranger.

Then I thought about it some more and was pissed because it meant one fewer Timbit for me.

Insult to Injury

A New Hampshire man and due to a computer error his account was charged $23,148,855,308,184,500.

That's twenty-three quadrillion, one hundred forty-eight trillion, eight hundred fifty-five billion, three hundred eight million, one hundred eighty-four thousand, five hundred dollars.

And to make matters worse he was also hit with a $15 overdraft fee.

It took him two hours on the phone to clear it up.

The same thing happened to several other people this week.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Barack Obama is Such a Poser

From his overexaggerated high school playing days, to his awkward pickup games (he can't shoot or dribble) to his chalk picks in the NCAA Tournament (every old lady in every made the same picks) to his galling populist support for a college football playoff, President Barack Obama has tried to seem like an everyman when it comes to sports.
But baseball clearly isn't his game. Not only does he throw like a girl, Pooh Holes had to save him from embarrassment by scooping up his lollipop toss before it bounced.
Then there was this embarrassing moment during an interview with Bob Costas:

Kaminsky Field?
I love the way Bob Costas gently said "Comiskey Park."

Never Before Seen Video of Michael Jackson's Hair Catching Fire

I'm sure all of us remember when this happened, Michael Jackson's hair catching fire during a rehearsal for a Pepsi commercial.
But the video had never been released until now.
US Weekly getting a hold of the video and saying this incident was the start of Jackson's addiction to pills and plastic surgery.

Amazingly, at first it doesn't seem as if Michael knows he is on fire. He just keeps singing and dancing while his hair burns off.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

How I Became Friends With a Cell Phone Screamer

So I'm sitting on the train on the way into work minding my business, checking my blackberry and reading my book (more on that later).

The girl behind me is on a cell phone carrying on a civilized conversation -- at least it started that way. All the sudden she starts talking progressively louder, saying "Don't ask me that. I really really really don't like when you ask me that. Don't asking me what I'm wearing, you're not my fucking boyfriend."

Then she hangs up, but evidently the creep on the other end wasn't done because a few minutes later she was screaming again. "You're a psycho. Why would I want to be friends with a psycho? You're too emotional. I think you need a therapist."

Since there were very few of us on the train, and fewer still exiting at Secaucus I ran into our little screamer at the ticket gates. Still rattled by her argument she was yelling for help from a ticket agent (though no one was around). I guided her through the gate by instructing her to place her ticket in the gate with the green arrow, rather than the one with the red X. After saying "I feel like the biggest idiot right now," we both proceeded to the platform to wait for our train -- which as usual was 5 minutes late.

We got on the same car and when we arrived at Penn Station she asked me "is this Penn Station?" I replied that it was then proceeded up the steps. After hearing footsteps behind me I decided she might be in need of further assistance, so I turned around and she said "don't worry, I'm not following you."

I asked her where she was going and she said she'd never come in Penn Station that way before and didn't know how to get out. I pointed her to 7th Ave and she followed me up the escalator, and this is where it got weird.

She said "is that a book on poker you'reading?"
I answered yes, because it was.
She claimed to recognize Gus Hansen whose picture is on the book cover. She said her boyfriend makes her watch poker all the time.
I recommended the book (because I really like it, Paulo's Book Club to follow) and she ended our little conversation with "I heard he's a really good player."

I said good night, walked to the subway and perhaps wished I had been so helpful in the first place.

Song of the Week

"Free Fallin" - John Mayer

This song sounds like they took the molecules of "Free Fallin" and slammed them into the molecules of "Your Body is a Wonderland" at a high rate of speed, and the result is this John Mayer version of "Free Fallin."

Mugshot Madness

Joyce DeWitt better known Janet from "Three's Company" arrested for DUI.

Joyce Dewitt's mugshot

Former US figure skater Nicole Bobek arrested for drug possession, you guessed it, meth.

Nicole Bobek mugshot

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Is This Wrong?

I know I'm not the only one who thought this, but a grieving Janet Jackson is a hot Janet Jackson.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

These Days No One Has Patience for the Story of a Young Cheerleader Trying to get to Dallas

The august New York Times (also known as Obama for President Print Edition) ran a nice feature story about the lack of plot in porn movies. I assume the idea came from the real laments of a couple of their editors and writers. I present it here in its entirety because the Times is a subscription website.

The actress known as Savanna Samson once relished preparing for a role. “I couldn’t wait to get my next script,” she said.

There’s no reason to look at them anymore, she said, because her movies now call almost exclusively for action. Specifically, sex.

The pornographic movie industry has long had only a casual interest in plot and dialogue. But moviemakers are focusing even less on narrative arcs these days. Instead, they are filming more short scenes that can be easily uploaded to Web sites and sold in several-minute chunks.

“On the Internet, the average attention span is three to five minutes,” said Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment. “We have to cater to that.”

Vivid, one of the most prominent pornography studios, makes 60 films a year. Three years ago, almost all of them were feature-length films with story lines. Today, more than half are a series of sex scenes, loosely connected by some thread — “vignettes” in the industry vernacular — that can be presented separately online. Other major studios are making similar shifts.

The industry’s interest in scripted scenes has waxed and waned in recent decades because of changes in technology. In the early 1970s, movies with loose story lines, like “Deep Throat” and “Behind the Green Door,” won a mainstream audience, and others tried to copy their success, selling plot-centric movies to couples watching at home with the VCR technology introduced in 1975.

The falling cost of hand-held video cameras gave birth to a generation of pornographers with little interest in drama beyond a clich├ęd plot involving a pizza delivery boy, said Paul Fishbein, president of the AVN Media Network, an industry trade publication.

Mr. Fishbein said plot came into vogue again in the late ’90s with the boom of the DVD. Big studios, he said, figured plots would make their films more appealing to women and encourage couples to bring them into their homes — whether on disc or pay-per-view.

Plot-centrism was in full bloom in 2005 with the release of “Pirates,” about a ragtag group of sailors who go after a band of evil pirates.

That movie, with a budget of more than $1 million, had special effects (pirates materializing from the mist), and, yes, lots of sex. Two years later, the movie’s studio, Digital Playground, spent $8 million on a sequel — a remarkable sum in an industry where the average movie costs $25,000, according to the director of the two movies, Ali Joone.

But interest in DVDs has fallen sharply, Mr. Fishbein said, because the Internet has made it easy to watch snippets of video.

Mr. Fishbein estimated that pornographic DVD sales and rentals in the United States generated $3.62 billion in 2006 but had fallen as much as 50 percent since then. He says the slump has made some companies reluctant to share sales figures, so his estimates are getting rougher.

The big studios, like Vivid and Digital Playground, have turned to a subscription model, charging monthly fees for access to their Web sites and advertising the frequency with which they add new clips.

Mr. Joone said that of Digital Playground’s 60 productions this year, roughly 30 had little or no plot, up from about 10 two years ago. At Wicked Pictures, which averages one production a week, one-third are essentially just sex, twice as many as a few years ago, said the company’s president, Steve Orenstein.

“The feature is not as big a part of the industry today,” Mr. Orenstein said. But he says he still plans two to three bigger-budget releases each year, including the recently shot “2040,” which is about the pornography business of the future. Mr. Orenstein described the movie as “an almost Romeo-and-Juliet story between an aging porn star and a cyborg.”

In lieu of plot, there are themes. Among the new releases from New Sensations, a studio that makes 24 movies a month, is “Girls ’n Glasses,” made up of scenes of women having sex while wearing glasses.

“It’s almost like we’re back to the late ’70s or early ’80s when the average movie was eight minutes and just a sex scene,” Mr. Hirsch said, sounding wistful.

Some in the industry would prefer their sex with a little more character development.

Ms. Samson, for example, said she took her acting seriously and used to prepare studiously for her roles, like the character she played in the 2006 movie “Flasher.”

She said she played a psychotic who, because of the way her mother treated her, “had an obsession with flashing and doing things in public.”

“I used to have dialogue,” said Ms. Samson, whose given name is Natalie Oliveros, and who is one of the industry’s biggest stars.

“Getting it on in one hardcore scene after another just isn’t as much fun,” she added.