Saturday, February 04, 2006

Kendra Davis is Crazy


Two weeks ago I blamed the whole Antonio Davis in the stands incident on his wife Kendra. Turns out I was probably right.

Kendra Davis has been charged with misdemeanor battery for allegedly flinging a hot cup of coffee on another woman during a traffic altercation in Naperville.
A woman claimed Davis ran a stop sign on Oct. 27, 2005. When she confronted Davis, Davis threw a cup of McDonald's coffee through the driver's side window.
Davis told police that she threw the cup of coffee because the woman used a racial slur. There was no charge until Thursday because the woman did not decide to pursue a criminal complaint until then. Wonder what prompted her sudden change of heart? Maybe she found out Antonio Davis' salary?

Crazy Kendra Davis starts more trouble.  She is beginning to look and sound more like Omarosa everyday

And the Pick Is...

The Pittsburgh Steelers -4.

Here are my reasons:
1) I love the way they are playing right now, especially Ben Roethlisberger. I've always said the most important thing in determining the winners and losers of football games is turnovers. And that's what makes football so hard to predict. But I think the Steelers are less likely to make that game ending bad play. I love the way they've been coached in the playoffs. Their game plan for the Colts and Broncos was excellent and if they get up a couple scores on Seattle early I think it will be the same result.
2) The AFC. I thought all season the AFC team was going to win the Super Bowl. Seattle had a relatively week regular season schedule. And they beat the 5 and 6 seeds at home to get here. The Steelers beat 1, 2 and 3 on the road.
3) Bettis. Something about all that's been going on, it just seems right that he should win.
4) The Pistons game. The Steelers seem to be having a lot more fun this week wearing Chauncey Billups jerseys at the Pistons game. I think the looser team has an advantage.
5) Tommy Maddox. Had he not thrown one or two games while Ben was hurt the Steelers would have been a 2 or at worst 3 seed in the playoffs. Everything would have been different and the spread would be bigger and the Seahawks wouldn't have this 1 vs. 6 card to play. Basically the Steelers are a better team than they are even getting credit for. They shouldn't be underdogs, Cinderellas, they should have been division winners if not for Tommy Maddox.
6) Smokey. I think it would be bad karma to root against my long-lost brother Smokey, who will be going to the game. Smokey and Krista were able to get tickets from a friend, at face value. Since they will be in Detroit and I don't want their trip ruined I will be rooting for Pittsburgh. Carson Daly and Earl Hickey will agree with me on this point.
7) The tights. Even though Cleveland eventually lost to LeBron and his magic tights, Smokey will be wearing his in Ford Field and I believe in the power of the tights.

One thing that worries me, too many people are picking the Steelers and a lot of times popular opinion is wrong. Also I feel like I am inviting Eliminator to pick Seattle, as his one chance to win the pool (but he could fall down several spots if he does that and loses). But if the Steelers cover the points is moot. I'll be going with the retired #44 as my total points for the game. Steelers 24-20 would be a push, and a victory.

Go Stillers!!!!!!!!!!! or push!

It All Comes Down to This

You may recall that I am in first place in my pool heading into the Super Bowl.

Here is what the commissioner had to say about me:
So this is what it all comes down to. Super Sunday finds everything up in the air both at the top and bottom. Cannon920 was clutch this week and can win this whole thing if he can only make one more good pic. But Little Bro and Eliminator are right there just waiting and hoping for him to choke.

Mets Super Bowl Picks

The Mets sent me an e-mail the other day with a brief video (you can see it there) to let me know who was picking whom in the Super Bowl.

Willie Randolph takes the Steelers because he started his career with the Pirates during the Steelers' heyday in the late 1970s.
Cliff Floyd also took the Steelers. He likes the way they are playing, but he felt the need to point out that he is not a Steelers fan.

David Wright took Seattle. He offered some good analysis, saying he liked the Seahawks running game even though the Steelers were the hot team after winning a lot of road games.
Tom Glavine doesn't care because the Patriots aren't in it, but he takes the Seahawks.

Billy Wagner, I have to quote directly. "I'm a Steelers fan, but I like the Seahawks too, so I'm going to have to go with a tie."

It's a Boy

Heather Pittsnogle gave birth to a healthy baby boy Kwyncie James Pittsnogle, yesterday afternoon. Today Kwyncie's daddy scored 12 poits in a victory over Cincinnati.

Congratulations Pops

The Solution to Josh's Marital Problems

Josh's TV is 51 inches (measured diagonally) and Stacy Keibler's legs are 42 inches (vertically). All Josh needs to do is get Stacy Keibler's legs next to this TV. That would diminish the size of the TV by comparison, and certainly, the TV would no longer be the focal point of the room. Now, it would be crazy to suggest that he could get the real Stacy Keibler to stand next to his TV, so I suggest a lifesize cardboard cutout, or a statue perhaps.
Anyway, ABC put up week 5 pictures, but still not week 4. Enjoy!



Friday, February 03, 2006

Knicks Trade

The Knicks acquired Jalen Rose and Denver's first round pick from the Raptors for Antonio Davis. I like this trade because Davis was basically worthless, and his wife was crazy. Hopefully this will mean more minutes for Lee and Frye. There are a couple drawbacks to this trade. Jalen Rose is a weak defender (part of the Toronto contigent that allowed Kobe to score 81 points). The Knicks already have too many of those players. Davis' contract is up after this season (which is what made him attractive to the Raptors). Jalen's contract goes for one more year, he is due $17m next year (the differences in salary this year is negligible). So I like the trade from a talent standpoint, not convinced about it from the future of the organization standpoint. I had hoped we could use our expiring contracts to get better draft picks or a legitimate star who is legitimately unhappy such as Paul Pierce or maybe Mike Bibby.

But enough of what I think, what do you think:
Matt Focks: loves the deal because it gives the Knicks 3 UMich guys along with JC & Mo.Tail.
Mike: loves the deal because recent history has shown that players unhappy in Toronto come to this area and do well.
Derek Haskins (two Dereks read this blog, I need to differentiate): hates the deal because Jalen taunted Denver fans with chants of "Plummer" after the Broncos lost to the Steelers in the AFC Championship Game.
Justin: loves the deal because during the 2000 Eastern Conference Finals we watched a Pacers-Knicks game from a sports book in Acapulco. After Jalen hit a shot someone (who Justin thought to be a local) screamed out "La Rosa!" Turned out that was me.
Me: One more thought, Jalen is a frequent contributor to the Best Damn Sports Show Period. I like his appearances a lot, including his conversations with Eva Longoria at last year's NBA Finals. He says "things of that nature" too often but he always comported himself with class. One time they did a sketch showing a black woman giving birth to two kids, one black and one white. Those babies turned into Jalen Rose and Best Damn host Chris Rose. In the climactic final scene it was revealed that the boys' father was Pete Rose. Funny stuff. If I left you out and you have an opinion on this trade we'd love to hear from you, especially if you go by the name of "The Concierge."

Cutest Drug Mules Ever

Colombian drug smugglers surgically implanted 2 one-pound packets of heroin into the stomachs of 10 dogs.
Only three of the Labradors and Rottweilers they used actually survived.


ABC is Fucking Us

The cock suckers over at ABC haven't add pictures from the last two weeks of Dancing with the Stars to the photo gallery. Therefore I haven't been able to keep you up to date on the outfits worn by Stacy Keibler. Though I did see a clip from last night and she was wearing a sexy orange number.
She will be on the cover of Stuff Magazine next month though. In the interview she says she will not get breast implants or any other plastic surgery. I must say I'm happy about that.

Her ass looks faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan-tastic here, normally it looks much flatter

Super Bowl Memories

Over at the Horsehead Derek has been reliving past Super Bowls in which the Broncos appeared. Weel, you may remember that in one of those games, Super Bowl XXII. Hard to believe that was XVIII years ago.
Anyway, while Derek was wearing balloons to root for his team, I was watching this game in my first ever jersey. A generic #83 (Ricky Sanders), with no name on the back. What's so ironic is that back then I was the opposite of the way I am now. Even after Ricky Nattiel scored a 56-yard touchdown, I still thought the Redskins were going to win. Now if my team is up 10-0, I think they are going to lose.
The second quarter of that game happened so fast, I don't remember anything. I do remember Timmy Smith going nuts, and Doug Williams throwing four touchdowns, but I most vividly remember Sanders scoring an 80-yard touchdown.
For 15 minutes of game clock, that team played perfectly. Scored 35 points. 5 touchdowns, 3 of them from 50 yards are more. Like I said. It all happened so fast. I wish they bottled that feeling and sold it in stores. That game was awesome. Little did I know that somewhere in New Hampshire a small child about my age was crying and covered in balloons. Sorry Haskins.

Before the Horsehead and cape, there was this

We Goin Sizzler Again

Last month I won the jobs report pool and I have now extended my streak to 3 months in a row.
This morning I said 192,000 new jobs added, the number was 193,000.
Added another $8 to my winnings.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Oops!

We've all seen the e-mails of the chicks in the crazy prom dresses.
Eric Govan, the No. 3 person on the Warriors' media relations staff, sent the e-mail featuring these pictures, many depicting scantily clad black people in formal attire and commentary on the outfits. The e-mail went to dozens of newspaper reporters, columnists and sports editors, as well as television and radio stations.
He was fired immediately. More crazy prom dresses can be seen here.

I love Iverson but this is too much
Look how conservatively dressed the girl on the right is

Big Ben Has No Lady Troubles

he doesn't need to meet girls online, just call this old flame

Those Damn Full House Kids

Jodie Sweetin, Stephanie Tanner on "Full House" revealed that she is a recovering meth addict and once battled a daily drug habit.
The ex-actress, 24, said she had trouble figuring out how to adjust to a regular childhood existence after Full House ended its run in 1995.
In an attempt to lead a "normal" kid's life, Sweetin attended high school and college, graduating with a degree in liberal arts. In 2002, she married a Los Angeles police officer.
Though she occasionally appeared in bit parts on TV series, including Party of Five and Yes, Dear, Sweetin's acting career essentially stalled after Full House. Two years ago, bored and unemployed, the former child star began experimenting with drugs as a way to pass the time.
She was soon addicted to methamphetamine and using the debilitating drug every day.
After a particularly bad three-day bender, which reportedly resulted in an intervention staged by her former Full House costars, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget, Sweetin checked herself into Promises rehab facility for six weeks of intensive therapy.
Clean and sober since March of last year, Sweetin now admits she was "living a total double life."


Cool Idea

While most of us don't care about college recruiting (unless we are named Derek) there was a cool announcement yesterday. Andre Smith, one of the top offensive linemen, had three baseball caps laid out on the table in front of him, LSU, USC and Florida. Presumably he'd announce his decision by donning the proper cap. When it comes time, he pulls a houndstooth hat out from under the table, thereby announcing his intent to attend Alabama University.

Roll Tide

Terrence Roberts Saves the Season

Last night Syracuse beat Rutgers 86-84, on a last second three pointer by Terrence Roberts. It was his second 3 of the year, and his first that didn't go glass. Gerry McNamara got hurt in the first half and scored only 3 points. Some reports say SU won in spite of his injury. I say we won because of it. I honestly hope he is out for the season. Nichols and Devendorf are better, more reliable scorers. And honestly at the end of a game I'd rather have Roberts shooting than McNamara.

If you didn't see the game (I didn't because even though I live in NJ they didn't show Rutgers) you will definitely want to read this article and watch the highlights.

Also Quincy Douby, the best player in the Big East, set a Carrier Dome record with 41 points last night.

Roberts does the antenna celebration
Roberts screams
the reason we won

Dress Like Jim Boeheim Night






Old School Boeheim

If You Missed Josh and Erin

You can catch their CBS Early show appearance. Go here, then click on The Early Show link on the left, then scroll down to select "Big TV Can Cause Big Conflict."

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Big Ben's Lady Troubles

Ben Roethlisberger says “I have no personal life.” He said it is so difficult for him to go out in public that he now finds it’s easier to meet women on the Internet than in person. Judging from these pictures Ben doesn't seem to have too much trouble meeting women. We don't know when these pictures were taken (but it was probably recently judging from the length of his beard), we don't know where they were taken (but it looks like a college fraternity house's basement), we don't know what he's pouring in that chicks mouth, but we do know his t-shirt is pretty cool






Last year Ben was dating professional golfer Natalie Gulbis.

Too Bad I Won't Be Able to See It

Tonight's game against Rutgers is "Dress Like Jim Boeheim Night" at the Carrier Dome.
Orange fans of all ages are invited to (a) don the chaotic clothing similar to that favored by Boeheim in 1980 when the Dome first opened and (b) register at the Syracuse Athletics marketing table in the backcourt area prior to the game. The five entrants who most resemble the back-in-the-day Boeheim garb, hair, specs ... the whole package will then be paraded onto the court at halftime and presented with prizes.
The man, himself, has signed off on this with good humor. And why not? With all the photographic and video evidence that is available in this town, how could Boeheim deny his garish past during which he rarely saw a stripe he wouldn't mix with a polka dot or a big collar he wouldn't wear with a fat lapel?

Of everything he's ever worn that hat is my favorite
A great look for Coach Boeheim, Stacey and I have the shirt Kueth is wearing
Mid-90s Boeheim, that's J-Dubbs in the background

Finally

Our friends at The Smoking Gun have finally uncovered the police report for the Carolina Panthers Cheerleaders incident.

The report includes witness testimony, including this from the victim Melissa Holden:

"Holden said that defendant Keathley was standing on the toilet and her head was above the stall. Holden further stated that defendant [Thomas'] feet were facing inward toward Keathley's body. Holden stated that Keathley was making facial expressions and noises that were consistent with that of a person engaged in sexual activity...Holden said that some of the patrons were yelling things such as, 'go get a room for that' and calling them 'whores.'"

Another witness, Amanda Miner said:
"Keathley was standing on the toilet and her head was over the stall wall. She observed Keathley's facial expressions and saw her eyes rolling back into her head. Miner said that Keathley was moaning as a person does during sexual activity...one of the girls that was in the front of the line looked over the stall wall and told everyone that one of the girls was 'going down' on the other. 'Going down' is slang for oral sex."

I swear the police report actually says that. This must have been the best night ever for these cops. "So you say she was going down on her, can you tell me exactly what that means?" Awesome.

The Next Spud Webb

I know that no one cares about the slam dunk contest because the best players don't compete. Except Amare Stoudamire, remember his dunk off the backboard via Nash's head? That was awesome. I think Fred Jones won it once. Horrible. Anyway, there might be a little reason to watch this year.
They've narrowed the field to four dunkers, defending champion Josh Smith of the Atlanta Hawks, AI2 aka Andre Iguodala of the 76ers and Syracuse standout Hakim Warrick, now on the Memphis Grizzlies. Even though Warrick is averaging less than 10 minutes a game he sure can sky. The fourth competitor is the Knicks own Master Nate Robinson. At 5'9", he's the shortest Slam Dunk competitor since Spud Webb won the damn thing.
Even though evil Zo is stuffing Hak, this is still a cool photo
If he loses Nate Rob will challenge the winner to a naked shower fight

Britney To Go Gay

Britney Spears will appear on an episode of Will & Grace.
She guest-stars as a Christian conservative sidekick to Jack (Sean Hayes) on the episode “Jack Talk,” set to air on Thursday, April 13.
In the episode, when “Out TV” is bought by a Christian Television Network, Spears is brought on to be Jack’s new religious co-host—until Will (Eric McCormack) and Jack loosen her up.
Britney brings her own additions to the talk show when she decides to do a cooking segment called “Cruci-fixin’s.”

I hope they bring back Hot Britney for this, instead of Skankho Britney that Josh likes

Go Sell Crazy Someplace Else

Nutjob and Michael Moore puppet Cindy Sheehan was arrested by Capitol Police before the State of the Union Address. She refused to cover up her t-shirt which said "2,245 Dead. How many more?" -- a reference to the number of U.S. troops killed in Iraq. She was handcuffed and charged with unlawful conduct, and released 4 hours later.
I feel very bad for her because she lost her son. But she is making herself an issue, instead of a person. She met with President Bush once. Why does she deserve a second audience with him? Her husband also divorced her recently because she is such a crazy lunatic. The liberal media is jumping all over her to get all the other bleeding hearts to feel sympathy. F--- Cindy Sheehan.

What an Honor

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick (named as one of the worst big city mayors) gave Jerome Bettis a key to the city. The Bus is only the fourth person to receive the key to the city of Detroit. One of the previous three was Saddam Hussein.
Back in 1980, Hussein was on the side of the good guys, and just after he was "elected" president of Iraq, he became friends with a Rev. Jacob Yasso, who ran Chaldean Sacred Heart church in the Motor City.
Yasso told The Associated Press recently that Hussein was "very kind, very generous, very cooperative with the West."
"Money and power changed the person," Yasso added.
Evidently.
Chaldeans are a Catholic group in predominantly Muslim Iraq, and Detroit is a city with a large Muslim population. Hussein donated money to many Chaldean churches, according to the AP, and gave the church in Detroit $250,000.
Yasso then traveled to Iraq, where he gave Hussein a key on behalf of then-mayor Coleman Young.

"Now I'll Buy Her Anything She Wants"

Famous last words. Josh and Erin were so funny. Even Erin couldn't help but laugh at him. "I want a fridge and a TV in the same room." I think the package started with a shot of Brock at the wedding. Kudos to Josh for having "How I Met Your Mother" playing on his screen for part of the time. But where was Kevin? I was really hoping he would appear. He would make the TV look even bigger in comparision. But that reminds me, I have never seen a picture of Kevin because I refused to look at him dressed up in a business suit.

More Fame for Josh and Erin

Producers for CBS' Early Show saw Josh and Erin in USA Today. Josh and Erin are now the poster children for marital discord caused by big screen TVs. A crew came to their house earlier this week to shoot a segment with them. It will air Wednesday on CBS at about 8:10am.

See It Again for the First Time

My episode of "Stump the Schwab" will air Thursday at 1pm on ESPN Classic. Unfortunately the record for most 3-pointers in a game will still be 12. And Stu Scott will still be a dick.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

David Silver's Dad

Mike loves when David gets hooked on crank
For the last 7 years, Matthew Laurance (not Joey's brother or Shaun Hunter's brother) has been the sideline reporter for Duke basketball games.
Prior to that he played Dr. Mel Silver, David's father on Beverly Hills, 90210.
Laurance had become friends with Krzyzewski after playing in a charity golf tournament in Durham in the early 1990s. He told Krzyzewski in 1999 that he was unhappy, and the coach suggested he move to Durham and try sportscasting.

Detroit or the Congo?

Coach Mike Holmgren's wife will not be at the Super Bowl in Detroit. She'll be with their daughter Calla, a doctor, on a trip to the Republic of Congo as part of a Northwest Medical Teams venture.
Kathy Holmgren was a medical missionary in the early 1970s when she first traveled to the African nation to do volunteer work. Back then, the country was known as Zaire. This time, she's returning to the same town where she did her work in what the coach described as "a dream come true for her."
Mike Holmgren gave his wife the trip as a Christmas present. So it was planned well before the Seahawks advanced to the Super Bowl.
On Super Bowl Sunday, Kathy will be in Africa and not at the game.
Why the hell didn't Holmgren make the reservation for a week later, just in case?
Is Africa going somewhere?

Throwback Jerseys

Yesterday as a tribute to Jerome Bettis several of the Steelers wore his Notre Dame throwback jersey. I'm pretty sure I even saw Bettis wearing one.

Hines Ward
Max Starks

Fuck With the Bull You Get the Horns

A bull at a Mexican bullfight pulled a Ron Artest. Pajarito (Little Bird) jumped the wall and attacked the fans. He only hurt two of those fuckers before they came and killed him. They resumed the bullfight 30 minutes later.

Watch video of Pajarito's last stand.

some mexicans were trying to get a good look at a t-bone steak

The President of Finland

The President of Finland narrowly won re-election, thanks in part to the endorsement of Conan O'Brien. Why does Conan care about Tarja Halonen?

That's Tarja on the left, Conan on the right

Celeb Sighting

Saw Charles Barkley today. A friend of mine walks by my desk and says "Charles Barkley is in the bathroom." I get up and I am talking to my friend who goes to get a drink of water. I'm still talking to him but facing the hallway. Barkley walks by looks at me, sees me staring at him, and doesn't know that anyone was in the breakroom talking to me. He thinks I was just staring down the hallway. Oh well, I hate him anyway.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Erin and I Would Love This

ESPN is strongly considering putting talk show host/columnist Tony Kornheiser on its Monday Night Football telecast next year.
ESPN is expected to decide after the Super Bowl if it will force Al Michaels to honor the eight-year $32 million contract he signed this summer. But they may turn to Plan B which includes Kornheiser, Mike Tirico and Joe Theismann. ESPN is reportedly prepare to offer Kornheiser around $1 million.
If Kornheiser takes the offer then he is expected to continue to co-host Pardon the Interruption.
In fact, PTI would be aired live from the Monday Night site each week.
This would be awesome. I love Tony Kornheiser. Erin would love to watch Tony on her big screen TV. She says Tony reminds her of me because we are funny, cranky Jewish guys who like to scream and go to bed early.
Tony has a great sense of humor as evidenced by the funny costumes he wears and Uranus jokes he makes.
This would be a great move for MNF because it would accomplish some of what Dennis Miller's hiring was designed to do (get a guy with a good sense of humor in the booth) but since his sports knowledge is unquestioned, he wouldn't lose credibility.
A few things lead me to believe this won't happen:
1) This report was in the New York Post, where writers frequently make shit up
2) Tony hates to fly and no longer travels to games because of it. But that bus gimmick worked pretty well for Madden
3) Tony goes to bed very early because he does a morning radio show

But I hope somehow they make it happen.

Tony looks like he just got through whupping Wilbon in Toss Up

Grab Some at Your Supermarket Checkout Counter

I recommend that each of you try Hershey's new Kissables. Basically, they are a cross between Hershey's Kisses and M&Ms. They are bite size and have a candy shell like M&Ms, but they have Hershey's chocolate, which I prefer to the M&Ms chocolate.

Deeeeeeeeeeeeee---
licious

West Virginia on the Cutting Edge

West Virginia will put the popular Dance Dance Revolution video game, along with Xbox video consoles, into all 765 public schools, to be used in physical education and health classes and the state will develop a special DDR curriculum.
I bring this up for 3 reasons:
1) A few years ago in Maine Kate and I walked by the arcade and two kids were playing(?) this game. They were incredible. They hit every step perfectly. There was a crowd of people watching. Later a movie was made about these two kids. It was called "Brokeback Mountain." Just kidding, it was an incredible performance.
2) I once read an article on childhood obesity and it said the number one way to get girls involved in exercise is through dance.
3) No wonder Billy is so skinny. He loves dancing.

The little kid in the background is aghast

The 12th Man

Texas A&M (not ATM, Derek) is suing the Seattle Seahawks for their use of the term 12th man. According to lore, in 1922, Texas A&M had injuries and was running out of players. They called a former football player (who had quit the team to play basketball) in from the stands to suit up. Although he didn't play in the game it became a tradition at Texas A&M to refer to the fans as the 12th man. In 1990 they got a trademark on the phrase. In 1984 the Seattle Seahawks retired the #12 in honor of their 12th man. Texas A&M sent the Seahawks a cease and desist letter. Seems petty, but if they were legally granted a trademark I think they are entitled to enforce their rights. I don't think a trademark should have ever been issued for this or any other common word or phrase. Three-peat, I could see. 12th man, nuh-uh. I hope PP's official intellectual property expert will weigh in with his informed legal opinion.

Seems like a nice tradition, a lot better than killing people at a bonfire
The Seahawks hang the 12th man jersey for the players to see on their way to the field
They've even hung a tribute to the 12th man from the Space Needle