Saturday, May 20, 2006

Yankees 5 Mets 4

Kate and I attended the 2nd birthday party of her friend's son this afternoon. We left at about 1:30 so I was able to hear the first inning in the car.

By the time we arrived at the party the Yankees had made two errors allowing Reyes to get on, and advance to third. Then Beltran and Wright doubled and the Mets had a comfortable 2-0 lead.

The game was not on at the party but that was ok, because I had recorded it and would watch when I got home. I didn't want to be rude anyway, so I stayed outside eating and watching the kids play.

About an hour later I got a text message (I had Kate preview it). It was from Derek telling me that "I love you Johnny Cakes" was at the Mets game, wearing a Mets hat sitting in front of Brian Cashman. I checked the tape when I got home and it's true, Vito was sitting one row in front of Yankees GM Brian Cashman, wearing a Mets hat. The funny thing was, Fox didn't take notice of him. He happened to be sitting down as the shot went to Cashman, therefore getting his face on TV for a brief second.

I went inside to go to the bathroom and the hostess' brother had turn on the TV, and the score was now 3-0. He told me Delgado hit a homer. I still decided not to watch, it would be rude, and I thought the lead was comfortable with Pedro on the mound. I started making more frequent trips inside, watching the Yankees bat in the 7th, and 8th but skipping the Mets at bats.

When I came back inside for the top of the 9th it was 4-0. I won't go through the rest of the blow-by-blow account of what happened but needless to say I decided to sit down and watch the rest of the game, and as the Yankees crept closer the crowd grew.

Wagner didn't have it. Some times you just have a bad day, but he is having too many. He is definitely not as good as he was last year. And I no longer trust him to get a big save. In retrospect Willie definitely should not have taken out Sanchez. With a four run lead there was no need to. It left the Mets with no fallback plan. He also should have taken him out before Bernie Williams. Last night Willie left in Heilman for a third inning because he was pitching great. He should have done the same with Sanchez.

This game sums up what it's like to be a Mets fan. I was sitting there in the top of the 9th thinking that they would win, and have Glavine vs. Small tomorrow for a chance at the sweep. Was not to be. No matter how high the Mets take you as a fan, they will always knock you back down. That is what it's like to be a Mets fan.

Another great effort by Pedro wasted. In a stretch where the Mets are basically sacrificing 2 games out of every 5 they have to win every Pedro and Glavine start. They have lost the last 3 times Pedro pitched.

One Year Anniversary

On May 20, 2005 many of you gathered around your TVs to watch Stump the Schwab. That's right, it's been one year since my episode aired. I still haven't gotten over that disappointment but all-in-all it was a great experience and I'm glad I did it.

Mets 7 Yankees 6

What a game! What an incredible game! This is one that I will remember forever. I have a lot to say about it so forgive me if this comes out a little disjointed.

First off, as with most Mets-Yankees games, getting there is half the battle. Thankfully, traffic for me wasn't too bad, it took me about 90 minutes, and I arrived at 6. As for my dad, he likes to get there at 4 and nap in the car. There was a bad accident on the Grand Central Parkway and he was stuck for three hours or more. He had to get off and take some streets. He found his way and actually got to the seats before me.

Jeremi Gonzalez was horrible. They were killing him in the first inning, every ball was hit hard. But the Met fans didn't feel out of it because we know Johnson has struggled this season.

Carlos Beltran's 3-run homer in the first inning was huge. I've talked about this 100 times already, it's so psychologically crucial to come right back after a team gets a few runs on you, and get right back in the game. Thanks to Beltran the Mets were still in the game after the first inning. Everything else that happened can be traced back to that home run.

Interesting goings on for the Yankees after the first inning. Despite having his gear on Jorge Posada developed "back spasms", and Kelly Stinnett replaced him in the 2nd. It's well-known that Johnson hates Posada, and the timing was very suspicious especially since they had to have a coach warm up Johnson between innings while Stinnett suited up. Stinnett ended up getting two hits, one to drive in a run so it didn't work out terribly for the Yankees.

Gonzalez couldn't do anything so Oliver had to come in, he allowed the inherited runner to score but otherwise pitched two good innings.

Huge home run by Nady and a clutch RBI single by Matsui tied the game.

Tying the game was huge because it meant they had to take out Johnson and the Mets bullpen is a strength, especially compared to the Yankees'.

After the 5th inning the game completely changed, it went from a slow slugfest with a lot of walks, to a pitcher's duel.

I thought Willie made the right call going to Heilman in the 6th, and it worked out. He was fantastic. His changeup was unhittable. And he was so effective through his first two innings, that he threw only 17 pitches, and Willie rightfully left him in for a third. But it sort of bolsters the argument that he is too valuable in the bullpen to be moved into the rotation.

Yankees bullpen was good too, Proctor and Farnsworth pitched three perfect innings. The guys next to us were joking about Proctor, calling him proctologist and saying things like "nice pitch, assman" in the Seinfeld inflection.

So now we move on to the 9th, Wagner or Sanchez, tough call, but Willie chose Wagner, since he wouldn't be able to get a save anyway. The place was going nuts during "Enter Sandman." Even I sang "sleep with one eye open." Wagner was awesome. He absolutely blew away Giambi, Gay-Rod and Stinnett. The Mets even had some Sandman graphic on the scoreboard, just to rub a little salt (sand?) in the wounds of the Yankees, their fans and fat Francesa.

Bottom of the 9th, tie game, in comes the best closer in the history of the known universe. Reyes makes out, LoDuca doubles down the line. I really thought they should have brought in Endy Chavez to pinch in case of a weakly hit single, but the Yankees outfield arms are so bad that I guess the Mets had no fear. Beltran strikes out (he gets a pass for his 1st inning heroics) and Delgado is walked. Up comes David Wright.

Earlier in the game I had been arguing with my dad about Wright's Piazza-ness. In the first Wright got up with a man on and no outs with a chance to continue pounding nails into Johnson's coffin, but he struck out. In his next two at bats, he got hits with the bases empty. So now he comes up with a chance to win the game, or send it into extra innings...against Rivera. So either he was going to be exactly like Piazza, or he was gonna be a hero. I'm sure you know what happened, with two strikes (his favorite count) he crushed one over the head of Damon, and the Mets win, thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Mets win.

The place went nuts, the upper deck was shaking. Fans were huggging each other, doing the obligatory "Yankees suck!" chant, just a fantastic few minutes. In the crowd of people on the concourse on the way out the merriment continued, the chanting and the taunting of Yankees fans.

A couple of other notes, there was a huge fight in the stands at one point around the 7th inning. Security took a long time to get there, one guy got dragged down about 5 steps by his shirt. Punches were actually thrown and landed, and it took about 30 security guards and 15 minutes to clear it up.

There was a Yankees fan sitting next to my dad, and during the 9th inning he stood up. A Mets fan behind him, probably 20 years older than him wanted him to sit down. So he got right in his face, then for some inexplicable reason he grabbed the guy's arm. The Yankee fan went nuts, slapped his hand away and I really thought they were going to fight. Luckily, they didn't and the older guy's young female companions (daughters?) starting calling the Yankee fan a faggot and a homo.

Between inning entertainment: Some guy traded a clock for waste basket #3 and won 2 Delta Air Lines tickets in "Mets Make a Deal." I didn't see the Kiss Cam because I was trying to track down a hot dog vendor. "Learn Spanish with Professor Reyes" was disappointing. The word was "avion" which means airplane. He gave a one guy a "C for that one" but told another woman "I like your style."

The parking lot was a madhouse, they closed off some exits and it took me over two hours to get home. But it was well worth it. Not only did we beat the Yankees, we did it when we started Jeremi Gonzalez against Randy Johnson. We came back from 4-0 in the first inning. And we beat Mariano Rivera. The best relief pitcher to ever throw a baseball. Pedro and Glavine have to keep this euphoria going.

nothing like piazza
although he is making a johnny cakes face here
the last thing Jose Lima will do as a Met
The real Sandman

Friday, May 19, 2006

What's Wrong with Basketball Players?

First Reggie Evans grabs the Kaman Islands, then Jason Terry punches Michael Finley in the stones (although I think he probably got him in the pelvis.) And of course we can't forget George Mason's Tony Skinn punching a guy in the sprouts and getting suspended for the first NCAA Tournament game as a result. I'd rather see a guy pull a Raja Bell than grab for someone's applebag.



Growing Up Too Fast

they look just as happy as bill and alison proving age ain't nothing but a number
Danny Almonte, the pitcher who lied about his age to make himself two years younger so he could pitch in the Little League World Series, is now trying to act older. He recently got married to a 30-year old woman. He is currently 19 and hasn't even graduated from High School yet.
They've known each other since his Little League days.
"He always used to tell me things and I was like, 'You're a minor . . . we'd get in trouble," she said.
After he was found out by Sports Illustrated, he went on to become the ace pitcher on the Monroe High School team, was just chosen to play in a nationwide tournament, and is expected to be drafted by a Major League Baseball team next month.

Baby's All Growns Up Part IV

Just how old is Julio Franco? Take this interesting look back at how Julio has changed through the eyes of the video gamer.

1986
2004

36 Hours In Syracuse

New York Times article on how to spend 36 hours in Syracuse.

The article recommends catching some student show at the Schine, a late night snack at Dinosaur and breakfast at Wegman's.

Clinton Square

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Put a Jersey On

Suit Up!
In anticipation of tonight's game I have purchased a David Wright jersey to fill a void in my jersey collection. Prior to this purchase I had no jerseys of current Mets. Despite my fears that Wright is too Piazza-like at times, I love him dearly and hope he will be our third baseman for many years to come. If he plays 15-20 years with the Mets and if I continue my current pace of attending 6-8 games per year, I could see him play in person over 100 times.


Baby's All Growns Up Part III

The first day we brought him home
Yesterday

Cardinals 6 Mets 3 Running Blog

Tough loss, they just cannot win when Lima pitches. He just isn't good enough. This has to be his last start. Despite Bannister's injury, they need to find someone else. Mets have lost 7 of the last 10. Finish the road trip 3-6 losing each series 2 games to 1. And now the Yankees come into Shea. Expect a full report from me, I'll be at tomorrow's game.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Home run Jose Valentin. Big fuckin deal. This game sucks. Marquis looked good even though he threw a lot of pitches and got behind a lot of hitters. - 3:40 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------

Evidently there is a barber shop in the Cardinals new stadium. Chris Cotter was in the barber's chair wearing a smock, readying himself for a haircut. Sitting next to him, Don King. I kid you not.

"thank you August Busch for this great stadium. We love you St Louis. Only in America, the gateway arch, the great wings of glory."

They threw it back to Gary and Ron and you could still hear Don King yelling. - 2:29 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------

Big homer for Beltran. At least gives them a fighting chance to come back in this game. - 2:25 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------

Lima is complaining that the umpire is squeezing him. He carried on when he left the mound after the second. Somehow that led to Jerry Manuel getting into it with the home plate umpire, leading to his ejection.

Gary Cohen hates Jose Lima. "It might be midnight for Lima time." "The time has come to try somebody else."

Among active pitchers, Steve Trachsel has the most 1-0 losses (7) and Tom Glavine is second with 6. Walter Johnson was 38-24 in 1-0 games in his career. - 2:12 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------

Lima got a ground ball to get out of the inning then made a horrible play on the throw from Delgado allowing another run to score, 4-0.

Didn't Aaron Miles play point guard for Kansas?

I really like David Eckstein. He didn't even take a half swing but got the ball into right field to score a run.

Gary and Ron speculated as to whether Staten Island is more populated with Mets fans or Yankees fans. Gary said like New Jersey it probably has more Yankees fans.

The Jewish kid from Staten Island is pitching pretty well.

Gay said "Ramon Castro makes people smile." - 2:02 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------

Stupid Beltran cost the Mets another run. He threw way over the cutoff man when he had no chance at Eckstein at home. That allowed Rolen to go to second and later score on a single. Fundamentals. That's what breaks down when you're losing. - 1:35 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't even have time to make the first post and already the Mets are losing 1-0. That can only mean one thing. It's LIMA TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

Pooh Holes is not playing. - 1:28 PM

Bill Bidwill Hates Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton’s new sweetie has been warned to do something that might be difficult: stay out of the spotlight. New Arizona Cardinal quarterback and former USC star Matt Leinart was warned by his team that if he’s serious about football, he shouldn’t be photographed out late at night dancing and drinking with his partying heiress girlfriend, according to the Star. “Matt took it very seriously,” a source told the tab, “almost to the point of tears.”
Leinart doing the walk of shame outside of Paris' house
stay away from our quarterback slut

Love is Blind

Love is Blind will feature couples (most often celebrity couples) that just don't make any sense or where one partner is much better looking than the other one. Take this one as an example. See how this is gonna work? The first installment comes amid rumors of a breakup. Apparently the rebound romance of David Spade and Heather Locklear didn't work out. That's right I said David Spade and Heather Locklear.

Love is Blind

Mets Trying Out New Announcers

Mike and the Mad Dog are going to try their hands at play-by-play broadcasting during next Thursday's Mets-Phillies game. They're going to do play-by-play and color for the entire game, after which the Wilpons, Ed Coleman and callers will dissect their performance. The gimmick will raise money for charity.

Baby's All Growns Up Part II

After a lifetime of digital showers and mom's tender loving care, Pizza Parlor Derek has spread his wings and flown the coop. We first reported that he was getting his own apartment last month but now he has finally moved in. The SCZA filed a full report of the first night in the new place. Once he gets some furniture it looks like it will be a really nice place. And a far drive for a lot of people.

Derek hit the apartment building lacks a certain ring

Baby's All Growns Up Part I

Another one bites the dust. While vacationing in Florida over the weekend, Bill became the latest domino to fall, proposing to Alison. We all know Bill and Alison have a great relationship (they're like one of those brother-sister couples) and they will be very happy together. It's just sad to see another friend you knew as a boy become a man, a man who can't grow facial hair, but still a man.
Watch this space for wedding planning updates but I will start the discussion of venue.
The bride is from Cleveland. Should the wedding be in Cleveland?
Pro: Cleveland rocks!
Con: When Bill does his little shimmy, it makes the women in Cleveland wanna puke.

Congrats again to Bill and Alison!

The Happy Couple

Cardinals 1 Mets 0

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing, your 2004 New York Mets.

Not much to say about a 1-0 game. They faced a good pitcher and he pitched great. Trachsel pitched very well also. Just well enough to lose.

David Wright had another Mike Piazza game. Two bases empty hits, and with the game on the line he can't even hit a fly ball. That is so inexcusable. Bases loaded one out, the fastest guy on the team on third, and you can't even make contract to drive the tying run in.

I know Matsui failed in a similar situation in the fifth inning, but we all know Matsui sucks. When runners are on base his sphincter tightens up like a snare drum.

Pujols went 0-3 but got the walk and the run scored. He 40th run in the 40th game.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Haterade

Houston Astros pitcher Russ Springer decided that Barry Bonds wasn't going to hit #714 off him. Instead of pitching to Bonds, or even walking him, Springer threw five straight inside pitches, drew a warning from the umpire then was ejected when he actually hit Barry with the 5th one. Springer didn't explain himself. Bonds handled himself with class, he didn't charge the mound or even glare. And he apparently told his pitcher Jamey Wright not to retaliate, Giants were winning 11-3 at the time. I hate Bonds as much as the next guy and I wouldn't want to be remembered forever as giving up the home run to that cheater, but this was bush league and Springer deserves 8 games. Jayson Stark covers this much better than I can.

Update Major League Baseball took down all clips of this incident from youtube, but a fan captured the whole thing:

Nobody's Perfect

The internet rumor mill is running wild on whether or not Katharine McPhee is or has ever been a scientologist. The name Katharine McPhee was listed on some scientology website as having completed some course. Her parents supposedly denied the rumors, but she is from Los Angeles and into acting/music and perhaps somewhat impressionable. Let's hope this is just a nasty rumor.

Idol Chatter

I think this is Elliott's week to go. He sang "Open Arms" which was quite enjoyable, then two other ok songs. He is a great singer but he is missing that it factor. Everything seems perfunctory, or like he's trying too hard to be perfect and therefore can't let himself go. He's the anti-Taylor.

Taylor on the other hand was awesome last night. "Dancing in the Dark" was the best song he's sang all season. Even though he danced a little bit he was able to keep singing well throughout. Getting Paula to reprise Courteney Cox-Zucker's role as the dancing chick was very cool. Paula even made a funny joke about double sided tape.

I didn't realize that Bruce had forbidden Idols to sing his songs. That's too bad because I think those would be good songs because they are very popular and well-known, but not song by someone so great (like Whitney) that they can't be topped.

Taylor's other two songs ("You Are So Beautiful" and "Try a Little Tenderness") were also both very good. He had one of his freak outs at the end of "Try..." where he just started screaming but I can ignore that. At this point, Taylor doing shit like that is like Scott Howard becoming the Wolf, "it's what everyone expects."

Katharine was awesome of course. I didn't love "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" the way the judges did, but it's a nice slow song that allowed her to sing well. I think she missed a real chance though. Had she dressed up in a sexier version of the Dorothy costume everyone with a penis would have voted for her.
She accomplished that in her third song though. I knew it was gonna be good because even though I was listening to the Mets while going to sleep I got text messages from Scott ("hot damn") and Pizza Parlor Derek ("oooh, hooker boots.")

For some reason Idol doesn't let you save photos so you will have to follow this link to see the slideshow. Also she was killing em in the turquoise dress she wore for the first song. It prompted Paula to say something like "from one woman to a gorgeous woman..." then she rambled and giggled and downed two Xanax during the break. I don't know if she really takes Xanax but it's my favorite drug because it's a palindrome.

$5,000 Each? Worth Every Penny

Katharine McPhee rehearsing for some cheesy play in which she plays a beached whale, I believe. She jokes (I think) about her boobs, and fondles them also.

The Wrong Guy

BBC News was supposed to interview a guy named Guy (Kiwney) about the Apple verdict. At the same time a guy named Guy (Goma) is supposed to interview for a job in the channel's IT department. The wrong guy gets escorted onto the set. Watch what happens when he hears himself being called the wrong name, then tries to move on and answer the questions anyway.

The Latest and Greatest in Entertainment at Minor League Baseball Games

Minor league baseball game and other second tier sporting events often play host to the Zooperstars, half-animal, half-athlete hybrid mascots. I don't even know how to explain them. They are coming to Portland the week after I will be at a Sea Dogs game. The best part is the punny names like LeBronco James and Derek Cheetah, and the way they make the animals bear some resemblance to the athlete. Check out the entire list, some of them are hysterical.


Clammy Sosa
Tiger Woodschuck
Dennis Frogman

7 Years Ago Today

I went to a girl's apartment. We decided we liked each other. The rest, as they say, is history.

The Aftermath

You hopefully remember Aaron Rowand who smashed his face into the wall in pursuit of a Xavier Nady flyball. For his troubles he broke several bones in his face, but he did make the catch and said he would do it again. Sounds like the kind of guy you want next to you in a foxhole.

This picture reminds of the slide Anton took of himself when he had a black eye

New Feature

I have added a new feature to the blog. You should be able to see a tab right above this post that says "coming up..." Normally, I carry a pad around with me with stories that I intend to cover, but sometimes I forget to bring my pad with me. This will serve as a reminder for me. It will also preview upcoming posts like when I plan to do a Mets running blog (Thursday). And it will stake my claim to stories that I just don't have time to get to yet. This way Isaacs doesn't think I'm stealing from him. Believe it or not, sometimes I actually get caught up on all the stories I intend to write, so the coming up may be blank, or may contain stuff I've already covered. But don't worry, news is always breaking.

Mets Rotation

Much to my dismay Willie Randolph will be giving Pedro Martinez an extra day of rest this week. Trachsel will pitch today, Lima on Thursday and Jeremi Gonzalez will face Randy Johnson on Friday night, the game which I will be attending. Randolph really had no choice because he had to find a starter for Saturday, because Glavine couldn't be moved up on 3 days rest. So Pedro will face Mussina on Saturday in what should be a good pitching matchup, and Glavine will go against Chacon on Sunday night.

Mets 8 Cardinals 3

Important to start this series off with a victory with Glavine on the mound. Until the Mets get the back end of the rotation settled it is going to be crucial to win almost all of the games started by Pedro and Glavine.

Glavine pitched well again. Well enough to win, which last year might have been well enough to lose. I think he is more relaxed this year than the past two years which means he is nibbling less and being more effective. He did throw over 100 pitches in 6 innings though. And he also left the game when it was tied, and got lucky that the Mets scratched across a run in the 7th to give him the win.

LoDuca comes up with another big hit. He is exactly the type of steady player that championship teams have. The best teams have lineups where every hitter can potentially get the big hit.

I enjoyed Reyes' home run, but I hate to see him hit so many fly balls.

Xavier Nady has been horrible, but got a big hit to drive in the third run.

Heilman and Sanchez looked as if they'd returned to form.

So did Julio.

Pooh holes went 0-4. That won't last. It was a rough night all around though for Pooh holes.

Fouled a ball off his shin
Slipped on the on-deck circle while chasing a pop up

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

What a Depth Chart!

The Miami Dolphins now have a quarterback depth chart that starts with Daunte Culpepper, Joey Harrington as the backup and technically Cleo Lemon is third string. To strengthen that group Miami has signed the troubled Marcus Vick. If you've been reading this blog for a while you will remember that Vick as done a couple (hundred) bad things.

Dolphins Coach Nick Saban seems very convinced that those past transgressions are in fact, in the past, saying:
“I want to make it very clear that we will not condone any behavior issues in the future relative to Marcus Vick. Marcus acknowledges that he has made some mistakes, all of which has resulted in severe consequences for him. They have helped him learn that he will need to make much better choices and decisions in the future or risk similar consequences that could jeopardize his career as a professional player. As an organization, we did an enormous amount of research, including consulting with professionals in detailed, in-depth analysis to feel comfortable that giving Marcus an opportunity as a free agent is a risk worth taking. Marcus has made a commitment to this organization and our fans to represent the Miami Dolphins in a first-class manner.”

Vick is really fast and may initially see time at wide receiver and on special teams.

New Mexico
The famous Vick Stomp

Last Night a RottWeiler Saved My Life

8-year old Mercedes Bedke was riding her horse, accompanied by her Rottweiler, Buster, a dog her parents adopted to keep her company. Somehow Mercedes fell off the horse and was lying in the mud. Buster ran and was able to get Mercedes' parents to get her and bring her to the hospital. She had no broken bones but her skull was pressing against her brain. Thanks to Buster they saved Mercedes although she may still have some residual damage.
Mercedes' grandmother said "I think this dog was sent to us from heaven."

Horses are bad pets

Mother's Day was Ruined

Paris Hilton is fuming after thieves made off with a $10,000 bag of Mother's Day presents on Sunday. The brazen robbers snatched the gifts, which included Christian Dior shoes, sunglasses, handbags and perfume, from outside the Hiltons' palatial residence in Los Angeles. The bag had been left unwatched at the gate as the delivery person rang the intercom to gain access to the house.
Hilton's spokesman Elliot Mintz says, "A fellow just whizzed by (in a car) and grabbed the package. (Paris) spent three or four hours shopping to put together this wonderful collection of things for her mom."
Instead of being showered with presents, Kathy Hilton was treated to dinner at an exclusive nearby restaurant instead.

Still better than the year Paris gave her a sex tape

What Do You Get For The Man Who Screws Up Everything?

President Bush and Vice President Cheney released their annual financial disclosure forms which include their own personal wealth as well as gifts they have received.

Last year, for Christmas, Cheney presented Bush with a $400 pair of binoculars, while the president bought his second-in-command a $338 hammock on a steel frame.
U2 frontman Bono gave Bush an iPod and a book on the Bible, together valued at $440.
No doubt aware of Bush's penchant for cutting brush on his ranch, Home Depot Chairman Robert Nardelli gave the president a chainsaw and accessories worth $351.
ELMS Puzzle Inc. gave Bush two hand-carved wooden puzzles worth $3,000, while the U.S. Playing Card Co. presented the president with two poker chip sets (with cases) worth $900.
Cheney and his wife, Lynne, also reported receiving inaugural clothes from a McLean, Va., tailor. Suk Im Kwon gave Mrs. Cheney a $5,360 dress-and-coat outfit and donated a $1,850 inaugural suit for the vice president.

Thanks for the iPod, are you in a band?

Best Line Ever

"I Love You Johnny Cakes."

I was laughing so hard. I've already repeated it at a rate of twice per hour since I saw the episode. Brokeback had some good momentum going but Johnny Cakes is indisputably going to be the next big euphemism for homosexuality.

short stack or tall?
when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie

CNN Airs Clip of Bush Rehearsing

CNN aired President Bush false-starting his immigration speech from the Oval Office on Monday night!
The embarrassing images and audio [16 seconds total] captured the president starting and stopping his message, then looking at an unseen director for guidance.
"The president is rehearsing and the network pool inadvertently went to the president as he is rehearsing," anchor Wolf Blitzer explained.
FOXNEWS, MSNBC, CBS, ABC and other outlets did not air the 'rehearsal.'
NBC NEWS, which was operating the television camera in the Oval Office, said late Monday that it gave the president a cue to begin his speech too early.
The slip comes just six months after CNN mistakenly placed a bold black 'X' mark over Vice President Cheney's face as he gave a speech.


Simmons on Mike & The Mad Dog

Bill Simmons did a running diary of a Mike and the Mad Dog program from last week. Too bad he didn't do yesterday's show.

Simmons hit on many of the things that make Mike and the Mad Dog so hard to listen to at times and many of the things that make their show great and have made it an institution and a trail blazer in sports talk radio. To wit:

"With Mike and the Dog, radio doesn't feel contrived or forced, you don't have to listen to guys screaming and fake-laughing at each other's jokes."

[they do have a great chemistry and it doesn't seem forced but Mad Dog has adopted a new gimmick in which he laughs hysterically, then says "say something funny, Mike" or "make me laugh, Mike" then he cackles uncontrollably, no matter what Mike says.]

"Dog starts the show off the same way every day: "AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH ... good aftahnoon ev-wee-buddy!" Never gets old for some reason."

[Love it, usually the show goes downhill after that.]

"if you love this show and you haven't spent at least 100 hours imitating their voices ... I don't believe you."

[This is so true. Nothing better than screeching like the Mad Dog. One day I took Diesel for a particularly long walk at the same time as my friend Adam was on a long car ride. This was a monumental show because Mike and the Mad Dog spent two hours ridiculing the male off-air staff at WFAN. For weeks afterwards, Adam and I were imitating that show as if we were quoting lines from "Pulp Fiction." "You're 30 years old, you got a job, get an apartment." "Yeah Dog, they take a girl out and bring her home, and they sit on couch watching Letterman with his parents." "You got 4 guys, sitting in a hotel room in Vegas in their boxer shorts. No way at 30 years of age am I sharing a bed with another man." "Continent still owes me $1,000 Dog."]

"One of my favorite running segments: The boys replay John Sterling's over-the-top home run calls and "The Yankees win ... thhhhhhhhh Yankees win!" finishing call from the previous night's game, with Dog giggling after each sound bite and Mike fighting off a smile."

[Robby Cano, doncha know. The Gee-am-bee-no. Hate John Sterling. Love this segment.]

"Sports radio, 66 ... THE FAN! W... F-A-N!" Nobody has better jingles than this show. My favorite is the prolonged one at the start of the hour that goes, "They're going at it as hard as they can! Mike and the Mad Dog, on the FAN. Nothing can get by 'em, turn it on and try 'em... Mike and the Mad Dog! W-F-A-N!!!!!"

[great jingle, he's right about the one at the start of the show.]

"Dog asking Mike what he'd give Mussina for his next contract. Mike mulls it over, glances down, glances up, then definitively rules, "I'd give him 39 [million dollars] over three years," as if there was no other possible answer."

[Most annoying thing about the show. Mike says everything as if there is no other possible answer and never accepts anyone else's point of view.]

"John from Philly tries to play the "it's the owners fault that Philly baseball fans don't care" card, followed by Mike and Dog massacring the argument, as Mike emphatically adds, "It's not a good baseball town ... it is NOT a good baseball town."
That's a Mike specialty -- making a point once, then repeating the same point by slowing down the sentence and emphasizing the word "not." For some reason, this has not gotten old in 15 years. This has ... NOT gotten old ... in 15 years."

"Mike cracks Dog up for the second time today. Dog might have the most infectious radio laugh ever -- he sounds like an absolute lunatic when he gets going."

"On the phone right now: Boxing historian Bert Sugar discusses the career of Floyd Patterson, who died Thursday. We're at the 25-minute mark with Bert Sugar."

[One thing they do very well, they don't care so they will talk about what they wanted to talk about. 30 minutes on Floyd Patterson, 2 hours on Sal LaCotta and Meloussis sharing a bed in Vegas, 3 hours on Roberto Clemente.]

In closing, Mike and the Mad Dog are incredibly riveting at times but drive me to distraction sometimes. Recently, I've gone over to Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann because they have similar on-air chemistry without the penchant to be so damn annoying.

Monday, May 15, 2006

From Brokeback to Johnny Cakes

Actual transcript of call to WFAN:

Caller: Did Mike Piazza win a Johnny cakes eating contest?
Mad Dog: Why would you say that?
Caller: Well, he likes Johnny Cakes.
Mad Dog: Trying to be funny there. Piazza hit a game winning home run the other day.

I Told You Not to Get Drunk and Piss Off Your Employer

ESPN baseball analyst Rick Sutcliffe will miss tonight's Boston-Baltimore game on ESPN because he's been suspended for one game as a result of how he behaved last week on local TV in San Diego. Sutcliffe was at a Padres home game with actor Bill Murray Wednesday and made a cameo appearance on local TV game coverage. He was rambling and slurring into his mike. Sutcliffe has apologized, saying in a statement that he "was not in optimum condition to go on live television."

Give Us a Speech You're the Piano Man

Three Syracuse University graduates held up red signs demanding "Sing Us a Song Piano Man" when entertainer Billy Joel took the Carrier Dome's stage during Sunday's commencement.
Despite Joel's staff telling SU officials he wouldn't be singing during the joint commencement of SU and the State University College of Environmental Science and Forestry, he did.
"I'm not here to give you a big song and dance," Joel said a few minutes into his six minute address.
But then Joel paused and held up a piece of yellow paper.
"Well, maybe a song," he said. "I scribbled a little thing on the way up here."
Joel thrilled the crowd of 16,701 people by clapping out a beat, which the crowd immediately picked up.
"Well, come on everybody, take a trip with me, Upstate to Syracuse University," Joel sang.
He pointed to the crowd each time it was their turn to chime in with the chorus of "Hey, hey, hey, yeah."
During the ceremony, SU awarded Joel an honorary doctorate of music.
"Now I can get out of this dead end job and get a real career going for myself," Joel quipped.
He stressed to graduates the importance of being happy with their career choices.
"If there's any advice I can give to you, it's do what you love," Joel said. "Don't do it for security, or status, prestige, money, or, for crying out loud, don't do it for somebody else . . . if you're doing what you love, you will be good at it."

Graduation Lists

It's Graduation time and that means if you are a columnist at the DO it's your last chance to write some cheesy article. This year Zach Cohn chose to write the entertaining "44 Things To Do Before You Graduate."
Here's a couple of the better ones, along with my own additional comments:

6. Stare at Baton Girl for two minutes straight

I can barely spin a baton, and this girl can chuck one 30 feet in the air, do a back handspring, eat an entire apple, brush her teeth, do her taxes - and then catch it with her toes.

[Best part of this is that for most of this kid's college experience the Baton Girl was probably Pizza Parlor Keri-Ann.]

15. Happy Hour

I don't know what it is, but beginning the drinking process at 5 p.m. on Friday is a liberating experience. And don't be tricked by the nomenclature, Happy Hour lasts for more than one hour.

[There's a good chance you'll meet a guy you can't stand, then end up hanging out with him for 10 years and on every occassion he will bring up your first words to him, "I don't know you from a bag of dirt."]

22. Beer pong

This one is pretty obvious. You don't have to be the brightest crayon in the box to know beer pong is a good time. It is hands down one of the coolest ways to combine competition, hilarity, hand-eye coordination and drinking.

[I don't even want to think about how much different and how much worse my life would be without beer pong. I'd have no friends, I'd have hated college and I probably wouldn't be married.]

32. Go to Wegman's

I'm not from the East Coast, so I was not aware of the legend of Wegman's when I came here four years ago. But I now understand the hubbub. Every time I shop there, I stand in awe of the ridiculous amount and variety of groceries.

[And if possible go with Anton. He'd knock a tomato (or a peach) off the top of the pyramid and let it roll into his cart. He also bought a new toothbrush every two weeks.]

34. Make a visit to our northern neighbors

I know there's a lot of animosity toward Canada, but it's nice to visit our northern neighbors for a weekend. Montreal has a bunch of snooty French Canadians, but the town is nice and the drinking age is 19, so all you underclassmen can legally drink in peace.

[Never did it. But the stories remain worth re-telling and re-hearing.]

37. Take advantage of the plethora of beautiful women

This might be a slanted opinion because it is coming from the perspective of a heterosexual male, but I can't stress this enough. The ratio at this school is incredible - which makes me wonder why there is still such a high frequency of sausage fests.

[Don't knock sausage fests.]

42. Appreciate the greatness of Jim Boeheim

Jim Boeheim is the man. He's coached the basketballball team for almost 30 years, which is awesome. He owns this town, bleeds Orange and has a hot wife.

[You can tell this guy's college career overlapped with 2003 and his fandom didn't begin as many years before he started at SU as mine did.]

43. Support the Eli Mission (this section was guest written by Jason Fisher, a fellow graduating senior with a special place in his heart for Eli)

I'm sorry, but if you haven't met Eli, your SU experience has not been complete. Eli, of course, is Elijah Harris, Jr., everyone's favorite guitar-toting one-man Marshall Street dance machine. While he has been performing for the SU community for over 20 years, his legend continues to grow. Next time you see Eli playing, singing or dancing, do yourself a serious favor and introduce yourself to this local legend.

[I hated this freakin guy.]

Coincidence?

You may remember that "Lost" actresses Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros were arrested in December or DUI. You may have inferred that the producers were unhappy with this by the fact that both characters were killed off the show last week.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Brewers 6 Mets 5

Another horrible loss. The bullpen is falling apart. This is the second straight series loss after having lost only one series for the first month and change. The Mets lead in the division stands at only one game heading into 3-game series against the Cardinals and the Yankees. I see a bad moon rising.

Some more bad trends:
Duaner Sanchez gave up a run for the third straight appearance.
Pedro got a no-decision in his third straight start.
David Wright makes errors at the wrong time.
Jose Valentin is the best player on the team right now.

Pedro pitched just well enough to lose. He got a couple lucky breaks from the Brewers' defense that prevented him from losing this game. He gives up homers at the wrong time and too often right after the Mets have just scored.

Weeks error and the dropped ball by Fielder let this game last much longer than it should have. Just another horrible game.

The pitching staff gave up 23 runs in this series. The bullpen got killed. Big trouble if this doesn't improve. The pitching has been bad and the lack of timely hitting is once again killing them. I'm very upset right now.

This Would Be A Disaster

Retarded Knicks owner James Dolan is reportedly considering buying out the last four years of Larry Brown's contract. The move would cost him $40 million. Dolan is reportedly upset with Brown's record and his public criticism of the players. Worse still, to avoid paying another coach he would give Isiah the coaching responsibilities.
I knew the way things went that this would end up being Coach Brown's only season but I can't imagine turning the entire organization over to Thomas. Every year he continues to run the team is two years its going to take to rebuild after he's gone.

It's LeBron's World, We're Just Witnesses

As I begin to completely buy into the LeBron James era I like Nike's new ad campaign, Witness. We are witnesses to something amazing, the emergence of LeBron James. He won't have enough to get his Cavs past the Pistons in this series but he won tonight's battle very impressively. Nike and the Cavs gave away 20,000 or so black t-shirts bearing the simple word "Witness" and of course the Nike swoosh during Game 1 of the Cavs-Wizards series. The shirts were fetching a hefty price on eBay so the Cavs tried to cash in by selling them on their website, but they're on backorder, presumably due to huge unexpected demand.


With 6 Month Old Twins at Home

About 6 months after his twins were born (possibly wearing headbands) Nets forward Cliff Robinson was suspended 5 games for violating the league's drug policy. Seems that Robinson was probably suspended as a repeat offender for marijuana. He was also suspended for 5 games last year. This really screws the Nets who won't be able to replace him on the roster. It costs him one of their big men to help defend Shaq, and a good outside shooter who can be used to draw Shaq away from the basket on defense.