Friday, September 21, 2007

Inscribe Him in the Book of Playoffs

Veteran outfielder Shawn Green plans on missing the Mets' Friday night game against the Marlins to observe Yom Kippur.

Green will not come to Dolphin Stadium on Friday.

This will be only the third time in 13 seasons that Green has had to miss a game in deference to the holiday.

"I feel fortunate that I haven't had more conflicts," he said.

While a member of the Dodgers, Green missed a game on Sept. 25, 2004, against the Giants that had playoff implications. He also missed a game against the Giants on Sept. 26, 2001. That became big news, because he had played in 415 straight games, the longest active streak in the Majors at the time.

The Mets' Saturday game against the Marlins begins at 3:55 p.m. ET, but Green has told Randolph that he will be available to play. According to Mets publicist Jay Horwitz, that is in keeping with Green's tradition of missing one game during Yom Kippur, not two.

Green hit a home run in consecutive games to start the road trip. Entering Thursday's action, he is tied for 91st place with Mo Vaughn in career home runs with 328. Hank Greenberg and the Mets' Moises Alou are tied for 89th place just three homers ahead of him.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

I'd Rather Go Naked Than Eat Meat

Alicia Silverstone, everyone's favorite mid-90s teen hottie is back in a sexy new ad for those wacky Peta people. Basically she shows off her naked body and implies that she looks so damn good because she doesn't eat meat (but she sure likes the bone!) Josh has more great Alicia stuff.

Alicia Silverstone’s Sexy Veggie PSA

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Ride the S.L.U.T.

A new streetcar debuted in Seattle called the South Lake Union Streetcar.
But residents are calling it South Lake Union Trolley, or SLUT for short.
And a local coffee shop is selling special "ride the slut" t-shirts.


New Survivors

Survivor, the show that introduced reality television is back for a 15th season. I know a lot of people (including TON who used to be a devotee) have given up on the program but Mrs. Poop and I still like it and we'll make Chase watch this season.
This season will be shot in China, which I suppose is interesting from a socio-political standpoint but I don't expect it to make the show more entertaining.
The reason why I think it stays fresh is because even though the circumstances are the same (other than contrived gimmicks like tribes split along racial lines or filming it in China), the players are always different. And the players make the show interesting.
This year two players you may know are competing.

Jean-Robert Bellande is a somewhat well known pro poker player. He is a huge guy who talks a lot at the table. He is a disciple of Jeffrey Lisandro. Bellande made two televised appearances, finishing third at a WSOP Circuit Event in 2005 and appearing on World Poker Tour's Bad Boys of Poker II.

Jean-Robert Bellande
yes, pocket aces

But the real star of this season (praying she doesn't get voted off early) will be Ashley Massaro who is a WWE Diva. Ashley is pretty hot other than some weird piercing on her lip, but she has huge fake tits. It's always cool to see chicks with implants on Survivor because the rest of their body deteriorates and shrinks and the boobs stay round and perfect.

Song Of the Week

"A Bay Bay" - Hurricane Chris
So absurd, but catchy too.

Fiddling While Rome Burns?

Or is he rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic?

Before Tuesday's game against the Nationals Willie Randolph held a meeting with the team. After the 9-8 loss Randolph said "This feels very normal to me, the way a playoff race should be. I think we're close to turning the corner. When we sip a little champagne later on, it'll be that much sweeter."

I think Willie sounds a little foolish saying this in the midst of a 5-game losing streak but no more foolish than he would be if he were throwing a child's temper tantrum and upsetting the buffet table. I do not know why the Mets are in this tailspin but I really don't believe they will break out of it if Willie yells at them. I'm more inclined to support Willie's approach that the team needs to relax and not try to do too much because several of the errors committed this week were clear examples of that.

The Kid is All Right

A very positive four week checkup for Chase.
He's been eating a lot since his weigh-in two weeks ago. He now tips the scales at 8 pounds 12 ounces, gaining an astonishing 24 ounces in just two weeks.
That means he no longer needs formula supplements and he can sleep through the night if he wants (but Mrs. Poop will probably continue to wake him for one nighttime feeding, at least for the time being).
The doctor said it's normal for Chase to be wide awake during the evenings (which he has been), eating every hour sometimes between 6 and 9.
He's 22 inches tall, grown 2 inches since birth.
He has a clogged tear duct (the medical term for that is "eye goopies") which is unsightly, but not a major problem at this point, time should heal it.
We don't need to go back to the doctor for another month.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Don't Tase Me Bro

Hilarious video of some douche getting harrassed by the cops. He wanted to ask John Kerry a question but instead went on a 2 minute rant about how Kerry won the election and should have contested the results.
After being asked to stop once, they just shut his mic off and then University of Florida Police escorted him out. The kid freaked out because he wanted to make a spectacle of himself and he got his wish. He became an overnight internet and national news story.

By the way, I think taser is a noun and a verb. I do not think "tase" is the correct verb form.

Love is Blind

Michael Buffer and Christine Prado
Ok, so it's not like Ms. Prado is famous, but she's hot enough to be. She's 32 and of Chinese-Haitian descent. He's 62 and a gasbag who is overly litigious and was lucky enough to be born with a good voice.
But I at least give Buffer credit, he knows a good thing when he's got it, so he proposed to Prado on "The Tonight Show."

The NFL is Poop Week 2

Cheaters Do Prosper
Incredibly impressive performance by the New England Patriots. They beat the San Diego Chargers 38-14, exactly the same score by which they defeated the New York Jets in Week 1. But the Chargers are a much better team than the Jets, maybe the second best team in the NFL. They absolutely blitzed the Chargers, forcing 3 turnovers and leading 24-0 midway through the 2nd quarter. If the Patriots can keep up this high level of play there is no one who can beat them in the NFL this season.

Take a Seat Pretty Boy
Cleveland Browns quarterback Derek Anderson shocked the world throwing for 328 yards and 5 touchdowns to lead the Browns to a 51-45 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals. I predicted the Browns would score 17 points tops. They scored three times that many and Anderson had an incredible game. Doesn't look like Brady Quinn will be getting in the game anytime soon.

Derek Anderson

Oh When the Saints
I'm starting to believe that last season's run to the NFC title game by the New Orleans Saints was a fluke. For two weeks now the Saints defense has been shown to be susceptible to the deep ball. Peyton Manning torched them, which is understandable but now Jeff Garcia burned them for 243 yards, on only 10 complete passes. He had completions of 33, 69, 41 (twice) and 24 yards. And midway through the third quarter they stopped running the ball. Also the Saints vaunted offense hasn't been able to do much either. Drew Brees padded his stats with about 100 meaningless yards, but he hasn't been able to get anything deep and Bush and McAllister haven't been able to get a good ground game going either. Every year teams we think are good turn out to be bad, the Saints might be that team.

Cheaters Do Prosper II
For the second straight week the Denver Broncos won a game on a last second field goal, this time they should have lost. As the Raiders' Sebastian Janikowski was getting set to attempt the game-winning field goal, the Broncos tried to call timeout to ice him. The whistle never blew though and the down was played and the kick was good. But an official said time had been called before the kick. Janikowski missed the second attempt and the Broncos won. This rule should be changed. On field goals you should have to call timeout before the ball is set, or at least before the ball is snapped.

Game of The Week
Cleveland Browns 51 Cincinnati Bengals 45
Just an amazing back and forth game in which neither team played any defense at all. Jamal Lewis had over 200 yards. Chad Johnson had over 200 yards. Chad Johnson, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Braylon Edwards and Joe Jurevicius all had 2 TDs. Carson Palmer had 400 yards and 6 TDs and he might have been outplayed. There were 12 touchdowns and 5 punts. In a span of 14 possessions starting in the first quarter and extending until the end of the 3rd, there were 11 scoring drives and 2 turnovers. This was a fun game to watch.

Game of Next Week
Dallas Cowboys at Chicago Bears
The Bears have drawn a tough early schedule and if they lose this game they will fall to 1-2. The Cowboys have scored 82 points in two games and even torched a pretty good Dolphins defense. But the Bears defense is even better. But Rex Grossman still hasn't played well and he needs a breakout week to keep the vultures at bay.

Cheerleader of the Week
Jessica Wanzie of the New England Patriots Cheerleaders
Jessica couldn't be any more girly. Her favorite TV shows are One Tree Hill and Friends. Her favorite actors are Julia Roberts and Leonardo DiCaprio and she loves Justin Timberlake. Even her dog is girly, a yorkiepoo named Molly.

nice tits

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Jason Campbell had his coming of age game on Monday Night against the Eagles. He started off a little rocky but he settled down later in the game. The game plan doesn't give him chances to complete a lot of passes (very few screens), but it does take advantage of his strong arm by throwing a lot of outs. He still is a little erratic with his deep ball as evidenced by the potential game-clincher he threw 10 yards over Santana Moss's head. But overall an excellent performance from Campbell.

Jason Campbell's coming out party

The defense was also terrifying but effective. Employing a bend but don't break strategy the Redskins held the Eagles to four field goals, but no touchdowns. Through 2 games the Redskins have forced one turnover which was their big problem last year, lack of big plays on defense. But they did get one big play on defense against the Eagles. On fourth down late in the game rookie safety Laron Landry delivered a big hit on Kevin Curtis breaking up the catch and preserving the victory.

Laron Landry

The Redskins next four games are against the Giants, Lions, Packers and Cardinals, all winnable games especially because only the Packers game is a road game.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
The New England Patriots would beat the Dallas Cowboys 38-14.
The Patriots just look unstoppable on offense. The Cowboys look like the class of the NFC, but 24 points seems just about right for this one.

Only Isiah Can Call Women Bitches

Another embarrassing revelation from the Isiah Thomas sexual harrassment trial. Isiah's deposition (scan ahead to 7 minutes in) was played in court yesterday. In it Isiah said a white man calling a black woman a bitch is very offensive to him, but a black man doing it, well...not so much.

I Wonder Who God's Lawyer Will Be

Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers is suing God for causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more. Chambers says God can be sued in Douglas County, Nebraska, because He's everywhere.
The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, blames God for natural disasters and is seeking a permanent injunction against Him.
Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he's trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.
God could not be reached for comment.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Watching Monday Night Football

teaching the next generation the lyrics to Hail To The Redskins
thank you Izzie

Chase's First Visitors

Mother Fuckers, You Think You Can Steal My Shit and Sell It?

O.J. Simpson led a gang of armed gunmen into a hotel room at a Las Vegas casino in an effort to steal back some memorabilia that was stolen from him.
O.J. can be heard on the audiotape of the incident repeatedly saying "mother fuckers, you think you can steal my shit and sell it?"
Among the items in question was the suit O.J. was wearing in court the day he was acquitted of killing Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.

OJ's mugshot

What a great twist of ironic fate this would be if like the great Al Capone, O.J. Simpson got off for the crime of the century, but spent the rest of his life in jail because some mother fuckers thought they could steal his shit and sell it.

The Scourge of Our Society

There exists a segment of the population that cannot give a gift unless it is placed a decorative bag and stuffed with tissue paper.
So these people (we'll call them...women) spend $10 on a present for someone and $10 on a gift bag and $5 on tissue paper.
And because these gift bags are so pretty you can't just throw them away.
So in our basement are about 20 gift bags with various baby themes (blocks, rattles) that will never be reused or discarded.

Do You Drink Coke?

If you do, you will have noticed the MyCokeRewards points codes that have been on the insides of your bottlecaps for the past year or so.
Well, I have been collecting the codes and entering them and I've already got enough for a $50 Best Buy gift card, but with your help I can do so much more.
So if you drink Coke and you are otherwise going to throw away your codes, please e-mail them to me before you do. It won't take long and I would really appreciate it.

Note: the red caps can be tough to read, so hold it up to the light so you can tell the difference between the V and the W.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Weekly Picks

cincinnati -6 1/2 CLEVELAND
This is a lot of points to give up on the road but Derek Anderson is the starting quarterback for the Browns. I just don't see them getting more than 17 the absolute most. And Cincinnati should easily put up 24 against a defense that got scorched by the Steelers.

minnesota +3 1/2 DETROIT
How quickly I've turned on Detroit, making them my best pick last week on the road, to picking against them at home this week. Well, here's my explanation: Detroit is destined to be an 8-8 (roughly) team. 8-8 teams win every other week, they beat the teams they are better than, and lose to the teams that are better than they are. I think the Vikings are a better team. And I love the fact that I am getting more than a field goal here.

CHICAGO -12 kansas city
I don't like picking against teams that got killed the previous week because I think the spread is unfairly weighted against them. But I think the Chiefs are going to be downright putrid this year and I think the Bears can stop Larry Johnson which will force the Chiefs to rely on a passing game they don't have. I expect the Chiefs to have at least 5 3 and out drives, and another 3 turnovers. The Bears offense is hit or miss and they scored only 3 points last week. Any kind of rebound...or points off turnovers will make this 12 point spread seem like a joke.

BALTIMORE -10 new york jets
I desperately wanted to make this game my best bet, but I just couldn't, for two reasons. First of all, Kyle Boller might start the game for the Ravens. He could easily give up 7, 10 or even 14 points himself, which would make this spread tough to cover. Second, the spread was 10, 9 1/2 and I probably would have done it. Also I was a little worried that the Jets were just exposed (on film) last week and their embarrassed defense would rebound strongly against an inferior (to the Patriots) offense. Still, I have a lot of confidence in the Ravens defense against a quarterback in his first NFL start. I've got about an 80% confidence that the Ravens will cover and a 25% confidence that they will pitch a shut out, meaning I'd be more surprised if the Jets cover, than if they don't score at all.

new orleans -3 TAMPA BAY
There are two reasons why this spread is absurdly low. First, home field advantage is overvalued and so are performances that are on national TV. The Saints defense looked bad, but they were playing the best offense in the league, and now they are playing perhaps the worst. Drew Brees, Reggie Bush and company also looked bad against the Colts, but they are too good to have two bad weeks in a row. Re-read the previous sentence, I used three forms of 2 in the span of 5 words.

Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Best bets: 1-0
Home favorites: 2-0
Home underdogs: 1-0
Road favorites: 1-0
Road underdogs: 0-1