Saturday, March 01, 2008

The Things We Do for Love

Imagine you're driving down the street and you see a car coming the other way, a guy is lying on the roof, reaching in the window and punching the driver, while she is smashing into other cars because the airbag is deployed.

HAVERSTRAW, N.Y. - A man fighting with his girlfriend clung to a car roof and punched her through the window as she drove more than a mile on a busy road, hitting several other cars, police said.

Both were hurt in the brawl Saturday and were arrested, police Sgt. Manfredo Figueroa said.

The man, William Kremer, apparently jumped onto the car and held on as girlfriend Stacey Sperrazza wove along Route 202 with the car's air bag inflated, police said. She eventually stopped the car and hit him with it, police said.

Sperrazza, 37, of Stony Point, was arrested on a felony charge of reckless endangerment. Kremer, 42, of Haverstraw, was arrested on a misdemeanor assault charge.

No telephone numbers could be found for the two. Police had no immediate information early Sunday on whether they had lawyers.

He was treated for a foot injury, she for eye and head wounds, police said.

Box Out!

Michigan women's basketball coach Kevin Borseth is unhappy with his team's effort on the glass. He's a little frustrated. And he has spittle flying from his mouth.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Beers is Gonna Have to Empty His Freezer

Gorton's is voluntarily recalling one-thousand cases of frozen fish after a Pennsylvania woman reported finding pills in her food.
The seafood company originally thought the hard object found in a frozen fish fillet last weekend was compressed batter or bread crumbs.
But testing completed today confirmed that the foreign objects were some kind of pills.
Gorton's says it's recalling the frozen fish as a precaution while a laboratory conducts further tests to determine the nature of the pills.
The woman who bit into something hard when she bit into a fish fillet was tested for food poisoning but did NOT get sick.

Could You Play Australian Rules Football?

After several incidents in which players acted inappropriately towards women, the Australian Football League released a DVD to guide players on how to deal with various scenarios and boost their respect for the opposite sex.
Here are some sample questions from the DVD:

* You are called by a mate's girlfriend into her bedroom because she thinks you are her boyfriend. Do you:

a - Go and hop into bed and pretend to be him.

b - Walk away.

* You are with a girl who has had too much to drink. Do you:

a - Get her some water.

b - Call her a taxi.

c - Take her back to your place for sex.

* A mate and his girlfriend are having sex. Do you:

a - Watch.

b - Not watch.

Quite obviously the answers are A, C and A.
I'm moving to Australia.

Oy! A Dollar a Bagel

New York Post article on the impact of high wheat prices:
At first, it was a dollop of money here and there, but with wheat prices skyrocketing, a plain bagel now costs a whopping dollar across the city.

At Coney Island Bagels in Brooklyn, a plain bagel with nothing on it has reached the one-dollar mark - up from 60 cents last year.

And a bagel at the famous H&H Bagels on the Upper West Side has rolled up to $1.20.

Bakers blame the bulging prices on wheat flour - currently selling at an all-time high of just under $12 a bushel.

"We don't have any choice but to raise prices," said Shahim Islam, manager of Tal Bagels at Second Avenue and 79th Street.

"Some people will complain, but we'll just have to explain that flour has doubled and the cost of everything is going up," he said.

Bagel prices at Tal went up again this week, another 20 cents, to $1.20 each.

Today's bagel prices are far outpacing historical trends. Twenty years ago, a bagel cost about 30 cents. Ten years ago, one of the hand-rolled edible New York icons was about 35 cents, and they cost only about 50 cents just five years ago.

"The cost of wheat is a real issue, and likely not to get better for a number of months," said Jason Ward, an analyst at North Star Commodities in Minneapolis, who noted that grain prices have about tripled in a year from their previous all-time high.

The huge increase is part of the general inflation trend in the United States, he said, but wheat is going even higher than other commodities.

That's because growers are producing less wheat than usual. The credit crunch and bad weather during recent growing seasons have halted wheat production to a third of normal, he said.

Those are just some of the reasons why New York bakers like Sammy Abbis, manager of Pick-A-Bagel at Lexington Avenue and 77th Street, have had to raise prices again - and also reduce staff.

"In the last year I've had to let four people go," he said.

He now sells bagels for 95 cents - up a dime from a few months ago. Some of his custom ers are so angry about the higher prices that they walk out of the shop when he rings them up at the cash register.

"They are p- - -ed off, and they leave their bag on the counter and say, 'Now I don't want anything,' " he said. "I'm worried about my customers."

Mareike Wegener, a 24-year-old New School student, said he usually eats a bagel for lunch because it's a cheap and filling meal, but the higher prices are causing him to reconsider.

"I don't have a lot of money," he said, "so every bit makes a difference."

Steve Phillips Met Killer

Help Harold and Kumar

I know most Poopheads are very excited to see "Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanmo Bay" when it comes out on April 25th. So why not let the world know? Reissberg's friend who wrote the movie asks that everyone vote for Harold and Kumar in the poll on The poll is halfway down the main page and apparently the results of things like this are important to studio folks and will help determine how much of a push they give the movie.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Who Cut the Cheese?

This commercial for Bud Light was cut from the Super Bowl (supposedly) for indecency. But regardless of the origin it's the funniest play on words since "Cork Soakers."

Zach Randolph Embarrasses Himself

One of the most disgusting displays of basketball I've ever seen. Zach Randolph completely botches a dribble then chucks up a 3-pointer. Isiah did sit him for the last 11 minutes of the game against the Raptors but I think he should send his ass home until he learns to play within the team concept. That said the Knicks bounced back for a 24 point win over the Bobcats, Wednesday.

Idol Chatter

This week of American Idol was even worse than last week. They keep saying this is the best talent ever, but they're not going to convince me. This is the worst group they've ever had, and this will probably be the year when the ratings drop off precipitously. There is no one really outstanding in this group.

A meek 17 year old boy is probably the only one right now I can see winning it. And although I thought it was good, David Archuleta's performance of "Imagine" was so incredibly boring I would have walked away if it hadn't still been better than everyone else.

The only other guy who was decent was David Hernandez, though I doubt many of today's teenyboppers really enjoyed his rendition of "Papa Was a Rolling Stone."

As for the girls, they were even worse. They picked the most horrible, boring, awful songs.

Even Syesha, who picked a great song, one of my favorites of all-time, did a horrible rendition of "Me and Mrs. Jones." Her version was too sweet and soft, when it's actually supposed to be pained and soulful. Listen to the original version by Billy Paul and you will see what I mean.

I wish the producers would step in and tell Simon to cut out his bullshit. He is constantly talking during the performances and even got caught with his mic up telling Paula he thought "You're So Vain" was about him. Then he got into his stupid inside jokes with Ryan. And I honestly believe the reason Paula always sounds so stupid (other than her meds) is because Simon is whispering in her ear when she tries to talk. [Except for "David, you are ridiculous. I wanted to squish you, squeeze your head off, and dangle you from my rear-view mirror." That was all Paula.] Those antics only amuse Simon, and annoy the shit out of everyone else.

The best part of either show was when David Cook said he likes big words and crossword puzzles.

Didn't Amanda Overmyer's hair make her look like King Tut? "Carry On My Wayward Son" is a great song for Guitar Hero but not great for American Idol. And really how you can top this performance (if you watch one video linked in this post, make it this one)?

Carly Smithson was probably the best girl but I just don't see a tattooed girl from Ireland who once had a major recording deal winning this contest. Right now I can't imagine anyone else but David Archuleta winning.

Who's going home: Robbie Carrico (Mrs. Poop says he wears a wig), Jason Yeager, Alexandrea Lushington, Amanda Overmyer

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Boob Job May Be Clemens's Undoing

As Roger Clemens continues to deny, deny, deny, his wife's fake tits may pose a problem for him. A lie is like a wool sweater, if you keep pulling on it, eventually the whole thing unravels.
This all comes back to the now infamous pool party at Jose Canseco's house which is where Brian McNamee alleges that Clemens first decided to start using performance enhancing drugs after a conversation with Canseco. Clemens has denied attending the party, saying that he played golf that day (he has the clubhouse receipt to prove it), but Clemens does admit that maybe he went to Canseco's house at some point during the day, to drop someone off.
McNamee claims Clemens was there, and Clemens's wife Debbie and their kids, and even their nanny were all there.
There is reportedly a picture of Clemens at the party to prove it but in absence of that, all we have to go on is Debbie's tits.
The New York Daily News reports that a former major leaguer told Congressional investigators that Clemens often joked in the clubhouse about that party, specifically the part of the party when Debbie and Jose's then-wife, Jessica compared their fake tits.
"I mean, they talked - no disrespect, but they talked about how great Jose's wife's augmentation job was to Debbie and showed her," McNamee said. "And then Debbie showed her her augmentation job."
For a closer, not safe for work, evaluation of Jessica Canseco's augmentation, click here.

Debbie Clemens's fake boobs
Jessica Canseco's fake boobs

Whores Get Man Fired, Sort Of

Neil Jorgensen used to work at Riverside Casino and Golf Resort in Riverside, Iowa.
The casino advertises that it offers and experience just like Las Vegas.
So when Jorgensen got a free night's stay to celebrate his first year of employment, he wanted the Vegas treatment.
After he got trashed at dinner he went back to his room and called the front desk and asked them to send him a prostitute.
When they refused he called the adjacent resort and asked them to get him a hooker.
Eventually hotel workers went to his room to tell him to stop asking for whores.
He answered the door naked.
He got fired the next day.
A judge denied him unemployment benefits.

When German Cultural Icons Collide

The two best things to come out of Germany are German beer and German Shepherds.
Unfortunately these two cornerstones of German culture don't always peacefully coexist.
Beer drinkers along the Rhine River in Dusseldorf often throw their empty beer bottles on the ground.
And the broken glass caused a problem for the police force's 20 German Shepherds and Belgian Shepherds.
So the police dog handlers paid $89 for shoes like those that are worn by sled dog.

Song of the Week

"Love in This Club" - Usher
Usher's newest is pretty good. I love Usher even though I usually hate R&B artists and rappers who have crossed over to the mainstream. Somehow he is able to mix his pop tunes and still stay true to his soulful roots.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Even Old Ladies Like to Superman That Ho

The Milwaukee Bucks senior dance team does the Soulja Boy (45 seconds in). How are they going to explain the meaning to their grandkids?

Keeping the Faith

An interesting study about religion shows that nearly half of Americans have changed their religion, given up on religion altogether or in some cases became religious when they never were before.
The other interesting part is the statistics:
51% of Americans are Protestants
46% of foreign-born U.S. adults are Catholics
1.7% of Americans are Jews
1.7% of Americans are Mormons

The map showing the religious breakdown by state also fascinated me. New Jersey and New York each have 6% Jews, the most in the nation. Jews either live in New York/New Jersey, Maryland/DC, Florida or California. Nevada is the only state that has more than 1% Muslims. 58% of people in Utah are Mormon.

Southwest Has More Problems With Hot Chicks

Southwest Airlines which once kicked a slutty slut off a flight for dressing slutty, booted two more booties and banned them for life.
Nisreen Swedberg and friend Sarah Williams claim the flight crew was rude to them from the moment they stepped onto the plane at Tampa International Airport on February 14.
Swedberg said she asked a flight attendant for a bottle of water and was told she could wait until the rest of the flight was served.
“And I patiently waited and then when they came around with water, they skipped me,” Swedberg said.
At one point, Williams had to use the plane's bathroom. She saw another passenger in it, and when he hadn't come out 15 minutes later, she knocked on the door.
When he came out, Williams says the man came over to her seat and yelled a profanity at her. Williams admits she yelled a profanity back at him but was puzzled when she says the flight crew only questioned her.
“I think they were just discriminating against because we were young decent-looking girls. I mean, nobody else on the plane looked like us except us,” she said. “[The flight attendants] were like older ladies. We were younger. Who knows, they could have been just jealous of us because we were younger.”
Southwest defends the incident, saying the women caused a disruption on the flight.
When the plane landed in Los Angeles, the women were escorted off by four uniformed police officers and later questioned by the FBI.

Why I Hate Renee Zellweger

I can't stand the hideous Renee Zellweger face.

The Renee Zellweger Face

Nasty Gash

This week's nasty boxing injury is a cut over the left eyebrow of "Irish" John Duddy [corrected].

While impressive (it's much bigger than his eyebrow), it is still nothing compared to the Hasim Rahman hematoma (which was bigger than his whole head).

Monday, February 25, 2008

Why Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is Like Porn

I had heard great things about "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" so decided to watch it when it came on cable.
As I did I was struck with the similarities between it, and a porno movie.
The only difference was that the scenes connected by the loose dialogue and horrible acting were fight scenes, not sex scenes.
That was the only difference.
The similarities: bad acting, a script that made no sense, well choreographed action sequences, a girl-on-girl scene, a girl with 12 guys scene and a bonus for TON only, lots of good looking Asian women.

which movie was she in?

Staten Island Sharpshooter

Kyle McAlarney (3-time Advance All-star) buried Syracuse in Notre Dame's 94-87 win with his deadeye outside shooting.
He hit 9 of 11 shots (all 3 pointers) for 30 points.
His 9 3s were a school record, breaking the mark set by Colin Falls.
"I'm going to call Colin tonight and rub it in his face," McAlarney said. "When I'm shooting, my imagination just flows, and thinking about the game and how they were going to be in a zone, I was really feeling confident out there."
And speaking of the zone, Notre Dame torched it with no problems, even forcing Boeheim to briefly switch to man. But once their shooters got rolling there was no stopping them.

Back to McAlarney, he had a decent freshman year, then started his sophomore year pretty well but he got suspended after he got caught with marijuana. For some reason Notre Dame suspended him for the entire spring semester for this relatively minor infraction (I think there's more to it) but he is back this season and doing pretty well.

He Should Have Said They Were Grabbing His Ass

Bruce Pearl explains (and demonstrates on Erin Andrews) Memphis's defensive strategy against Chris Lofton.

Btw, I hope all the Poopheads watched this game, it was really exciting, and as opposed to many college games, it was very well played.

There May Be Hope Yet

While I had previously been down on "Lost" and hoped that its ratings would plummet so that they'd have to end it sooner, I now think that starting with last season's finale "Lost" has reclaimed its place among television's best shows.

This is where you should stop reading if you haven't seen "Eggtown" yet.

In "Eggtown" the writers continue their excellent use of the flash forwards to reveal subtle but significant hints about the Oceanic 6's rescue from the island.

The story they are trying to tell us is that the 6 (Jack, Kate, Hugo and Sayid so far) did something so terrible to get off the island that they have had to lie about it ever since and at least 2 of them (Jack and Hugo) feel they never should have left.

What I like most about the way they are telling the story is the hints fit within the flow of the episode and they don't bash you over the head with the new information and its importance.

For the first time since the show started I can't wait for a new episode to get another piece of the puzzle explaining the rescue and why it was so bad that Kate had to take Aaron and raise him as her own.

By the way, I did figure out that kid was Aaron a few seconds before it was revealed. We got several clues and as soon as I saw the kid had blond hair I knew it was Aaron. Whatever it was that happened, they spared Aaron? Is he considered one of the Oceanic 6? He was technically on the plane.

We Hardly Knew You

Unfortunately for us, Amy Davis got kicked off American Idol before she could really show off her slutty side.
But thanks to the internet, we found it anyway.
Davis is a "trade show" model, basically a hot chick paid to stand by some company's booth at a trade show to attract lonely male customers.
She also did some of those gigs as a chick who goes to a bar dressed as a slut and hands out Coors Light gear.
And because she is obviously starved for attention she entered Maxim's Hometown Hotties competition.

For more hot pictures and a list of places where Amy modeled, click here.

Amy Davis voted off American Idol