The Dumbest Thing in Sports

Kyrie Irving: Cavs got extra motivation from Warriors’ ‘chatter'

There is absolutely no way the Cavs were "motivated" by any of the things the Warriors may have said or done. Even if they say it helped motivate them, I am sure it had zero affect on their performance.

For all sorts of reasons, we tend to prescribe value to things that have no value. Particularly when we try to explain drastic differences in performance, we lean on mental factors as a crutch. If being down 3-0 in the Finals wasn't enough to motivate the Cavs to perform at their best, no words from Draymond Green would have helped.

Not even when Steph Curry allegedly pantomimed pooping on the Quicken Loans Arena floor at the end of Game 3.

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Craig Sager dies at the age of 65 after a long battle with leukemia.

No Guarantees

While the basketball world, and 2/5ths of my household is incredibly excited about Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors, I don't think we should skip the season and hand them the title just yet.
First of all, as a basketball fan, one who lost interest in the NBA when it seemed all good players did at the end of the game was run into defenders and hope to get fouled, I love watching the Warriors.
We recorded 10:30pm ET games and watched them the next day, even though I often knew the result. Their style of play was a joy to watch, and it is only going to get better with Kevin Durant.
The Warriors could literally put four guys on the 3-point line, with Draymond Green in the middle, shoot nothing but 3s and still win 60 games in the regular season.
I cannot wait to see Durant, Curry and Thompson play together.
But I fear the losses of Barnes and Bogut may hurt them defensively and on the boards, especially in the playoffs.
Clearly, no team ever can match their offensive firepower. Regardless of the result it promises to be one of the most memorable teams ever.
But expectations are so high, they have to win 74 games AND the title to not be considered a disappointment.
And let's say something goes wrong, especially with Curry's health, will the Warriors will be willing -- and able -- to sign him to the max contract after next season.
Who knows what will happen, but it will sure be fun to watch.

Disappointment

It's been a rough sporting year in the Poop household as the Mets lost the World Series, Syracuse got beaten in the Final Four, the Redskins lost a playoff game at home and now our adopted NBA team, the Golden State Warriors loses a heart-breaking Game 7 of the NBA Finals.
A lot of excitement got us to that point, but all four magical runs ended in disappointment.

Note: I am a Knicks fan. Chase still insists he is a Knicks fan. But Stephen Curry and the Warriors are so much fun to watch, it's a much better introduction to the game of basketball for a young fan than watching the Knicks lose would be.

All season we recorded late night Warriors games and watched them the next day. Throughout the playoffs, I watched the games, recorded them and Chase watched the second half before school.

The boys stayed up to watch Game 7, and ended up going to bed in tears.

A few thoughts:

1) Stephen Curry played like garbage in the Finals, especially during Game 7. It wasn't just his poor shooting, which was his most glaring weakness. It was his lack of urgency and his ball-handling that seemed like it belonged in a February game against Sacramento, not Game 7 of the Finals against LeBron.

I couldn't find any good pictures to prove it but I am pretty sure that Curry's shooting form was off. He used to have perfect form, straight up and down, head over feet. Many times during the playoffs, and especially the Finals he seemed to be shooting while leaning forward. Maybe it's his knee injury, maybe it's fatigue, maybe he just got out of wack, but he just didn't seem right.

2) This game doesn't tarnish the Warriors legacy, much. They are a great team, NBA champs, 73 wins, return trip to the Finals. A couple more years of this and they're right up there with the Jordan Bulls, Russell Celtics, Wilt Lakers as the best teams of all time.

3) It does tarnish Curry's legacy. He came up small in the biggest game of his career. And he wasn't so great in last year's Finals, either.

4) It absolutely does cement LeBron's legacy. He has 3 NBA titles, six straight years in the Finals, and he made a legendary all-time play with his block on Iguodala to preserve the game. He is definitely in the top 5 all-time with Jordan, Magic, Russell and Wilt.

5) I guess I'm the only one who roots for these long championship droughts to continue. I like it, it adds an extra story line and drama. Now no one cares when the Red Sox are in the World Series. And who really cares about San Diego as a loser city, they only have two teams and nice weather. Having Cleveland and their near misses to talk about made it interesting whenever they got close.

Every Kid Deserves a Favorite Player

The best part about being a kid who loves sports is picking a favorite player.
I picked Kirby Puckett. The Concierge picked Latrell Sprewell and Vin Baker.
Chase has picked Stephen Curry.
We started to watch and like the Warriors last season, but all that has accelerated since we got a basketball hoop over the summer (and Chase spent a lot of time practicing his shot -- though he still can't make many on 10-foot rims) and the Warriors started their amazing run at the Bulls 72-10 NBA record.

We read articles about the Warriors and about Curry. Chase really liked the one comparing Curry to a ballet dancer.
He got a Curry jersey shirt for Hanukkah, which may set off a civil war in our house.

We were so excited when the Warriors decided to name their new arena after him.

When he had to a book report on a biography, Steph Curry was his first choice. When Mrs. Poop expressed skepticism, he said he would do Draymond Green instead.
We did find a book on Curry and he is reading it now and telling me all about Dell Curry's childhood.
And of course, we record late night games that are on TV and watch them the next day.
So it was that we were running around the living room, shouting at 10am on a Sunday morning after Curry drilled an amazing 38-footer in overtime to beat the Thunder.



Of course there is a danger, especially in this day and age of letting a kid fall so deeply in love with a player.
That player could end up on drugs, or on the front page of the paper for beating his wife.
But with Curry so far the worst thing he did was shimmy in front of the Hawks bench (which I showed Chase and told him not to emulate).

But perhaps the biggest reason Chase likes Curry is because of their size. They're both usually the smallest players on the floor.

But maybe with hard work Chase can learn to dribble, pass and even shoot like Steph Curry.

And that's why kids need heroes.

The Clippers Need to Sign Someone Named Stephanie

Not since the Kansas City Royals had Paulo (Orlando) and Yordano (Ventura) has Mama Poop been so excited about a pair of teammates.
But she loves the Los Angeles Clippers high-low pairing of (Chris) Paul and (DeAndre) Jordan.

There is a true story about Mama Poop wanting to buy 6 (or 7) Kirk Cousins jerseys for all her grandkids for one big photo shoot.
Master Bates rejected that idea (evil Giants fan) so now she is turning her attention to DeMarcus Cousins and hoping he gets traded to the Knicks (but not alongside Rudy Gay).

Blake Griffin Breaks Hand on Equipment Manager's Face

"Los Angeles Clippers forward Blake Griffin injured his right hand after hitting a member of the team's equipment staff during an argument, multiple sources told ESPN's Michael Eaves.

According to the sources, Griffin and the equipment staffer got into an argument in a restaurant during the team's trip to Toronto. Griffin hit the man, who then left the restaurant and went outside. Griffin followed him outside and hit him again.

Griffin suffered a suspected fracture in his hand in the incident, sources told ESPN's Marc Stein and Ramona Shelburne early Tuesday morning.

The equipment staffer's face was injured, sources told Eaves. Both Griffin and the equipment staffer were sent home after the incident. Griffin and teammate DeAndre Jordan are good friends with the staffer involved in the incident, according to sources. Griffin, in fact, has vacationed with the staff member."

I can't wait to see who this equipment manager is, but I doubt he would be someone with whom Griffin could have a fair fight.
Apparently the team has not fired the equipment manager but I bet that is coming, along with a nice pile of cash for him to keep his mouth shut.
Pretty crazy though that the guy ran outside and Griffin followed him and beat on him some more.

Gilbert Can Shoot, We Know That

Gilbert Arenas won too many prizes at the basketball shooting game at the Orange County Fair and was not allowed to play any further.

I hope he let each of his kids pick a favorite one or two and immediately drove the rest to a children's hospital.

The "P" Stands for Player

LeBron James deserves to be MVP of the NBA Finals. And it’s an absolute travesty.
If you’re saying the award has to go to the best player on the winning team you are adding factors into the voting that don’t exist.
There is a team award. It’s called the Larry O’Brien Trophy. The Warriors won it. Commissioner Adam Silver gave them that trophy. I saw it. Here’s a picture:

The MVP is different. It is an individual award given to the player (the P in MVP) whose contributions were most (M) valuable (V).
And even if there were a natural bias towards a player on the winning team (as there should be) shouldn’t this be the one exception – where one player is so transcendent and the disparity of the teams is so great that even his best efforts can’t overcome it.
He averaged 35.8 points, 13.3 rebounds and 8.8 assists. Yes his shooting percentage was poor, but again a big part of that is htat he had to take all those shots. Who else was gonna do it? You want him to give the ball to JR Smith in a key spot?
Plus, LeBron is only competing for MVP against other players in this series. He is not competing against your memories of Michael Jordan, or what you read about Bill Russell and how they single-handedly carried inferior teams to victory (they didn’t) because they are “winners.”
He was competing against Andre Iguadola who averaged less than half as many points, rebounds and assists. And he was credited for his defense on LeBron. Who still averaged nearly 36 points!!!!

The basic summary is this: if you don’t think LeBron was the MVP of this series you are stuck in a decades-old mindset where we were unable to separate individual performance and contributions from team results.
It is the same thing we fought over nearly three years ago when voters robbed Mike Trout of the MVP Award.
Individual awards should be given based on individual performance.
Having the championship title taken away from him when Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving got hurt was bad enough -- don’t steal the MVP too.

He Looks Tougher

Boston Celtics center Kelly Olynyk played 22 minutes in a game against the Pacers with a hideous black eye caused by an elbow from teammate Shavlik Randolph. And he scored 19 points on 7 of 10 shooting.

Story suggested by Razor

Good Guesses

I told Mrs. Poop that LeBron's new running mate was named Kevin and his last name is a verb that I do to her. She guessed "Kevin Hump" and "Kevin Annoy" before giving up.

Love Me, Love Me, Say That You Love Me

LeBron James is going back to Cleveland, saying he didn't realize four years ago how important the people of Northeast Ohio were to him.
Many people are viewing this as an admission on his part that he made a mistake four years ago when he chose to leave the Cavs for the Heat.
I think he is making the same mistake this time around, only he's doing it in a better way.
Let me explain: First of all, I am talking only about the decision with a lowercase d. The Decision, the TV special, was a complete disaster and at least he learned that lesson this time around.
But the lesson he didn't learn, is that you can't make people happy by doing what you think they want you to do.
I believe LeBron chose Miami four years ago because he thought that's what people wanted and what he needed. He thought he needed to win championships in order to be considered one of the all-time greats. And he was willing to take less money to do it. And he was right, he won two titles and four conference championships in Miami. But he never got the adulation he wanted and desired, in fact the opposite was true. Even excluding the Decision, people were angry that he abandoned his home fans and assembled a super-team.
Upon seeing that his two titles didn't bring him the love respect and adulation he desired LeBron tried to reverse course and go back to Cleveland.
It would be an admirable move, were he really sincere about his intentions. But all he wants is the love. He doesn't really care about the people of Northeast Ohio who felt betrayed by him. He just wants people to stop saying bad things about him.
Well, it's not going to work.
There are always going to be haters and being a person of prominence, they're always going to attack everything he does.
But if he really wants to turn those of us who are mostly agnostic to him (love his play, ambivalent about his personality) he should be less concerned with what we think and more concerned with winning those titles for the people of Cleveland.

All That for Kenyon Martin

Lewis Katz, owner of the Philadelphia Inquirer and former owner of the then-New Jersey Nets, died in a plane crash this weekend.
In keeping with The Poop's tradition of memorializing people in death with their silliest moments in life, I present to you Lewis Katz's reaction upon winning the 2000 NBA Draft Lottery.

Falling Far Short of the Original, Twice

Reebok is out with a new series of ads based on the famous barbershop scenes from Coming to America. They feature Shaquille O'Neal and Shawn Kemp. This one also stars Allen Iverson.



It's not a very funny homage to Coming to America, nor to the "practice" rant.
But it's out there and I know you rely on me to bring you these things.

Can't Blame the Guy For Trying

The beautiful Kate Upton took in an Orlando Magic game with her boyfriend Justin Verlander.

When Verlander stepped away for a moment, the Magic's mascot, Stuff, swooped in with flowers, a giant ring and a marriage proposal.

As always, Kate was the picture of elegance, class and grace, smiling and posing with Stuff, and even posting an instagram pic of her with the ring.

Reaction Shots

The great thing about the internet is that it gives a home to so much content we might never have seen before. But even with all that increased content, and increased access, there are still some things that are usually off limits, such locker rooms and team meetings. But recently we've gotten some good glimpses behind the scenes.

Let's start with the Wisconsin Badgers football team watching the Packers beat the Bears in the last game of the regular season, specifically the moment of Randall Cobb's game-winning touchdown catch.



Next, we go inside the San Diego Chargers locker room after they survived the final regular season against Kansas City's backup to earn a spot in the playoffs against the Cincinnati Bengals. When Mike McCoy finishes talking you can hear a player say "we owe Cincy" and one mocks the "who dey" chant. Clearly this motivated the Bengals to kick the Chargers asses.



The coolest of these is Ric Flair speaking to the San Francisco 49ers the night before their game against the Packers. Entrance music and all.



But my favorite one is from an NBATV show following the Toronto Raptors. Here you can see their initial reaction to the Rudy Gay trade, which also sent Quincy Acy and Aaron Gray to Sacramento.

The Best Method of Birth Control

Dr. J often had no problem scoring against the toughest defenders in NBA history so it should be no surprise that he had no problem scoring on a proverbial open net.
In the late 1970s Dr J. met Samantha Stevenson, “a smart single woman — a pretty white girl, a bit of a hippie giving off a vibe of availability”, who was covering the 76ers for Sport Magazine.
She became a great friend to Dr. J. According to his new book "Dr. J", when he felt stressed or high-strung he would drive over to her place and she would suck his dick to help him relax. ("I can drive over and spend a relaxing evening that might even include oral sex."
But one night Stevenson got braces and couldn't blow Dr. J. So instead they had sex.
According to the book, that was the only time they ever had intercourse.
And 9 months later along came a baby.
And 19 years after that, Alexandra Stevenson made the semifinals at Wimbledon.
And 9 years after that, Dr. J met his illegitimate daughter for the first time.

Cool Story I Never Knew

There's a little noticed show on MSG Network called "Four Courses with JB Smoove." It features JB Smoove (Leon Black from "Curb") sitting down for dinner with four athletes and entertainers. In this particular episode he is joined by John Salley, Larry Johnson, Black Thought from the Roots and Judah Friedlander.
During the episode Larry Johnson told this amazing story:



To think, we were this close to never seeing Grandmama. Disappointing because I really like that "Larry," "No, Johnson," "ok, Larry Johnson" ad concept.

We Prepared You For the Week in Pop Culture

Like most of you I agree the "Fred Sanford" is a much better dance craze than "The Bernie," which as slept the Oakland area.
Now one of Oakland's most prominent athletes, Stephen Curry, demonstrated the Bernie while running back down court after hitting the 10th of his 11 3-pointers against the Knicks in a 54-point tour de force performance.



But that wasn't the only time the Universe brought us a "Weekend at Bernie's" reference this week. There was also a very clever open to the latest episode of "How I Met Your Mother". The link isn't working so I will just set up the premise for you if you missed it. In Barney's Playbook of ways to get laid, there was a gambit called "Weekend at Barney's" with Barney playing the role of Bernie and Ted and Marshall as Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy.