The NFL is Poop - Week 9

That Was Pretty Crazy
Right before halftime of the Colts-Texans game, Houston head coach Gary Kubiak collapsed on the field. They're still not sure what happened to him, perhaps a stroke. But his family says he is "feeling good" and hopefully whatever was wrong will never recur.
Maybe he was just so shocked at Case Keenum's performance and his team's 21-3 lead that he was literally floored.

Can't Figure Them Out
I previously pointed out the Colts helter-skelter nature in that they dominate good teams and do poorly against mediocre ones. That form held as the Colts got down by 18 points to the miserable Houston Texans (though they might be upgraded to just bad if Case Keenum can keep playing this way).
But Andrew Lick's greatness superseded the malaise of the rest of the team and when he hit T.Y. Hilton with a 58-yard touchdown, you just knew they would complete the comeback.

Can't Figure Them Out Part II
The Jets are another impossible team to figure out, perfectly alternating wins and losses, 5 wins in odd numbered weeks, and 4 losses in even numbered weeks. And most puzzling in the past three weeks they beat the Patriots and the Saints (combined record 13-2 against everyone else), but then got absolutely destroyed against the Bengals. The Jets schedule actually gets a lot easier after their bye. If they can buck this trend, they are a serious threat to make the playoffs.

He's Not Incognito Anymore
The most visible guy in the NFL is a guy named Incognito. Richie Incognito was suspended by the Dolphins for repeated harassment of Jonathan Martin that eventually prompted Martin to leave the team. When the story came out most people thought Martin had emotional problems and was acting like a child in a league of men. But as more information emerged, it became clear that Incognito had crossed the line on several fronts, including racial and homophobic slurs.

This is the text of a phone message Incognito left for Martin in April, after Martin had played a full season with the Dolphins.

"Hey, wassup, you half n----- piece of shit. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you."

I thought Incognito could rebound from abusive bullying, but not a white guy calling a black guy the n-word. There is no recovery from that. Incognito has played his last game in the NFL. The Dolphins should welcome back Martin with open arms.

And teams should really consider eliminating rookie hazing as an unproductive and cruel relic of a bygone era when coaches thought drinking water at practice made players weak. That kind of thinking is so wrong-headed and dangerous it has no place in today's more enlightened society, even as it relates to a vicious, violent sport like football. You don't need to tape a rookie to the goal posts and douse him with ice water to make him tough.

Might As Well
I think Greg Schiano is a horrible coach whose overbearing college antics have not done well with NFL players. But I have to admire the way he coached this game. His team is 0-7, they had nothing to lose and he took some big risks to try to win this game. After the ECPs scored to take a 7-0 lead he did a surprise on sides kick, which they recovered, but were offsides, so they had to rekick. Then after taking a 14-0 lead and recovering a fumble, he called a halfback jump pass, and it worked, giving the ECPs a 21-0 lead. Eventually they blew it and stayed winless, but I like Schiano's playing to win.

One Thing to Like About the Eagles Win
I hate the Eagles. But as far as the NFC East is concerned, they're my second favorite team in the division. But that wasn't the only reason I was happy to see the awesome 7 touchdown performance of Nick Foles. I am hoping this spells the end for Michael Vick. I would love to see him get packed up and shipped out on the same truck as Richie Incognito. I have never forgiven him for the dog-killing, and I never will. I did think he would have a good season under Chip Kelly, but that hasn't materialized and I really can't see the Eagles keeping him next season. Would any other team pick him up? Doubtful.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
A crushing late game collapse was averted thankfully. The Redskins offense played much better, as RGIII looked the most like himself than he has all season. Even better than the Bears game I thought because he was doing those things that made him such a great passer last year, throwing on the run, hitting receivers over the middle, in stride. His one interception was a bit of a fluke, it was a batted pass, and its impact was magnified because it occurred in the end zone for a pick-6.
Albert Morris is a damn good running back. He is not simply benefiting from teams paying attention to RGIII. He's a fast, strong back who hits the hole hard.

Pierre Garcon and Jordan Reed are the main beneficiaries of RGIII's return to form.
After a great debut, Kai Forbath has reverted to the suckiness of all Redskins kickers since Chip Lohmiller.

Game of the Week
Dallas Cowboys 27 Minnesota Vikings 23
Say what you want about the Cowboys, hate them as much as I do, but they sure do play some exciting games. This time Tony Romo saved them from a loss to the woeful Vikings (the Redskins' Thursday night opponent) with a 90 yard drive in 9 plays and just over two minutes. The Cowboys are 5-4 with 2 of those losses by 1 point, and the other by 3 against Denver in a game they definitely could have won. With a little bit of luck they'd be 6-3, with a lot of luck they'd be 8-1.

Game of Next Week
Carolina Panthers at San Francisco 49ers
The 49ers are on a 5-game winning streak. The Panthers have won 4 in a row, scoring at least 30 points and never giving up more than 15. I love the way the Panthers are playing and Cam Newton may have things figured out, but I don't like their chances against San Francisco in San Francisco.

Picture of the Week
Philip Rivers pass is too high for receiver Keenan Allen

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Kansas City Chiefs 24 San Francisco 49ers 21
I think a lot of people would choose Denver and Seattle here. But the Chiefs are undefeated so I feel they deserve the spot. And even though the Seahawks have a better record than the 49ers and beat them head-to-head, I can't feel confident about a team that just squeaked by St. Louis and Tampa Bay and looked bad doing it.