Things I Thought Today

Why didn't Zach Randolph try this hard when he was on the Knicks? Notice I didn't say "why didn't Zach Randolph play this well when he was on the Knicks?" I know the answer to that. It's because he didn't try this hard.

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I think Blaine Gabbert is going to be the best quarterback in the 2011 NFL Draft. I think Jake Locker is going to be the worst.

I also think Nick Fairley is going to be a bust. I saw him on Gruden's QB Camp and he seemed to be a functional illiterate. He was pretty decent diagramming plays, but in normal conversation he seemed like a 4-year-old. Sort of like Alvin Mack without the charm and the door knocker.


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Why did the Mets demote Dillon Gee to the bullpen? Chris Capuano sucks, and has more value in the bullpen because he's a lefty. Capuano had one good start. Gee had 7.

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It's good to be the Prince.



Suggested by Mrs. Focks

Things I Thought Today

Caster Semanya should not be allowed to run against women. She is a hermaphrodite but she has no ovaries or uterus. She has internal male organs which produce three times the amount of testosterone as an average female. She shouldn't be stripped of the medals she already won since she didn't cheat. But she should not be allowed to compete on equal footing with women.

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I met George Pataki. After years of saying "'ello Gubna" I finally got to say it to an actual Governor.

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I'm having a hard time determining which person put more premeditation in their career boosting moment, Erin Andrews or Rep. Joe Wilson. I think the answer is Erin Andrews because hers involved great planning. But Wilson doesn't look as good naked.

I know from experience dude.

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Megan Fox is hosting the season premiere of "Saturday Night Live" on September 26th. I might check that one out.

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On the World Series of Poker Jason Alexander said his favorite line from all 9 seasons of Seinfeld is: "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" That line of course occurred when George banged the cleaning lady on his desk and was confronted by his boss. George followed up with "Because if anyone had told me when I started here that kind of thing was frowned upon..."

Things I Thought Today

Those of you who are Facebook users know all about the "status updates" where you tell people what you're doing or what you're thinking.
Since I constantly have 10 million thoughts running through my head but I don't want to keep changing my status, I'm going to put some pithy thoughts in here, because this is why I created these freakin blog in the first place. I might update this throughout the day.

Note: all these should be read starting with my name first...

1) Thinks God is obviously sick and tired of me cutting the grass he helps grow. I went outside to mow and he made it start pouring. Instantly.

2) Wonders why the only bit of dog training that actually stuck with Diesel is indifference to thunder.

3) Wonders how much I'll save on my electric bill by turning off the air conditioning for two days while the wife and kid are away. 80 degrees really ain't that hot.

4) Wants to reassure everyone who checked The Poop earlier today and got an error message, I have fixed the problem.

5) Can't eat because he doesn't know how to work the child locks on the cabinet with the pots and pans.

6) Is not kidding about #5.