Monday, June 19, 2006
Happy Anniversary
Two years ago today, a young television producer named SCZA, married an anchor. Just in case you want to get them an anniversary gift, here's an idea.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Wearing Socks with Sandals Pays Off
Saturday afternoon I went to Mike/Stacey's to watch the soccer game. Stacey's brother, Justin and his hot girlfriend Liz joined us. After the game, we walked to a local establishment for dinner. During our walk, Liz's strappy sandal broke. The strap completely separated from the shoe, making it unwearable. Justin offered his sandal, but eventually tired from walking barefoot. So I gave her my sandal. We walked along trying to find a drug store so she could buy a cheap replacement pair, to no avail. So Liz spent most of the evening with one of her sandals and one of mine. They say never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. Liz is now free to judge me.
e=mc2 is For Suckers
A team of British scientists has developed a mathematical formula to determine the perfect booty.
"The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," said Dr. David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, who devised the formula.
(S+C) x (B+F) / (T-V).
First, assess her assets on a scale from 1 to 20 (1 being worst and 20 best) in the following categories:
* S = overall shape (a ripe peach being just about right)
* C = circularity (rounder is better)
* B = bounciness (less wobble is preferred)
* F = firmness (too much push to that cushion loses points)
* T = skin texture (no cellulite, please)
Then calculate this:
* V = the ratio of one's hips to waist. Finally, do the math.
The perfect score is approximately 80.
"Slender thighs and hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well, perfectly," Holmes said.
"The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," said Dr. David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, who devised the formula.
(S+C) x (B+F) / (T-V).
First, assess her assets on a scale from 1 to 20 (1 being worst and 20 best) in the following categories:
* S = overall shape (a ripe peach being just about right)
* C = circularity (rounder is better)
* B = bounciness (less wobble is preferred)
* F = firmness (too much push to that cushion loses points)
* T = skin texture (no cellulite, please)
Then calculate this:
* V = the ratio of one's hips to waist. Finally, do the math.
The perfect score is approximately 80.
"Slender thighs and hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well, perfectly," Holmes said.
United States 1 Italy 1
A very exciting soccer match. The U.S. dominated most of the action but couldn't pull off the victory. In fact, the U.S. didn't even score a goal, their one goal was an own goal inadvertently scored by an Italian player.
Even so, the U.S. did play well, constantly attacking and forcing the issue.
The game was marred by bad officiating. In the 28th minute an Italian player delivered a vicious elbow to the face of Brian McBride, opening a gash on his face. That player was ejected (red card), so the U.S. was playing 11 on 10.
But right before half time Pablo Mastroeni of the U.S. (sounds like an Italian name) was red carded for a tackle he made. Didn't seem too vicious but he might have broken the dude's ankle. And right after halftime Eddie Pope was given his second yellow card (ejection) so the U.S. played the rest of the game down 10 players to 9.
No team has ever scored with only 9 players but the U.S. almost did. DaMarcus Beasley (benched after game 1 for poor play) came in and scored, but a player was offsides and the goal was disallowed.
A tie for the U.S. though is a moral victory. A win on Thursday against Ghana will salvage the World Cup, and combined with an Italy victory over Czech will grant the U.S. a spot in the next round.
But you can see when watching the game the lack of skill the U.S. has compared to other teams. Most teams score off "set pieces" like goal kicks and corner kicks. The U.S. is always a couple inches off with their kicks.
But at least they salvaged one point out of this deal. It would be nice to score a goal though.
Even so, the U.S. did play well, constantly attacking and forcing the issue.
The game was marred by bad officiating. In the 28th minute an Italian player delivered a vicious elbow to the face of Brian McBride, opening a gash on his face. That player was ejected (red card), so the U.S. was playing 11 on 10.
But right before half time Pablo Mastroeni of the U.S. (sounds like an Italian name) was red carded for a tackle he made. Didn't seem too vicious but he might have broken the dude's ankle. And right after halftime Eddie Pope was given his second yellow card (ejection) so the U.S. played the rest of the game down 10 players to 9.
No team has ever scored with only 9 players but the U.S. almost did. DaMarcus Beasley (benched after game 1 for poor play) came in and scored, but a player was offsides and the goal was disallowed.
A tie for the U.S. though is a moral victory. A win on Thursday against Ghana will salvage the World Cup, and combined with an Italy victory over Czech will grant the U.S. a spot in the next round.
But you can see when watching the game the lack of skill the U.S. has compared to other teams. Most teams score off "set pieces" like goal kicks and corner kicks. The U.S. is always a couple inches off with their kicks.
But at least they salvaged one point out of this deal. It would be nice to score a goal though.
Orioles 4 Mets 2
For the second time in three starts Pedro Martinez didn't have his best stuff. His ERA has gone up more than half a run over those three starts and it now stands at 3.01. The Orioles used one hit, a passed ball and two groundouts to get a run in the first.
The Mets came right back, scoring two runs in the first as they are wont to do. But that was it. Reyes led off the game with a double. Kris Benson made a horrible throwing error which allowed Lo Duca to get on while he was really trying to sacrifice. Delgado singled him home. And the Mets didn't score again.
Benson homered off Pedro to tie the game. Pedro got behind him 3-0, then laid two pitches right in there. Benson took the first one and homered off the second one.
"He's a pitcher," Martinez said. "Whenever I fall behind them (a pitcher) I'm not going to fool around. Make him hit it. The next time up he popped up to center field. Same pitch. Same location. Fastball. Eighty-five, 86 miles per hour."
The Orioles broke the game open in the 5th on hits by luminaries Nick Markakis, Brian Roberts and Brandon Fahey.
After that Benson was untouchable. The Mets had chances early but Reyes popped out with 2nd and 3rd and one out in the second. Delgado led off the third with a double, but was stranded. Milledge led off the fourth with a single, was sacrificed to second and stranded there. After Milledge's hit the next 17 Mets were retired (15 of those by Benson) until Milledge singled again in the bottom of the 9th.
You could tell that Benson was pissed about being traded. "It's great to come back and pitch well against the last team you played for, especially with all the stuff going on," Benson said.
Here we go again with catchers. Lo Duca has allowed 41 stolen bases already this year while throwing out less than 25% of the runners. The Orioles have already stolen 5 bases against him in two games.
Last year Brian Roberts hit 18 home runs. In almost 200 at bats he hasn't hit one yet this season. Draw your own conclusions.
The Mets will try to salvage this series by sending Tom Glavine against Adam Loewen. Loewen will make his fourth major league start, and he'll set a record because all of them have been against former Cy Young Award winners (Randy Johnson and Roy Halladay twice).
The Mets came right back, scoring two runs in the first as they are wont to do. But that was it. Reyes led off the game with a double. Kris Benson made a horrible throwing error which allowed Lo Duca to get on while he was really trying to sacrifice. Delgado singled him home. And the Mets didn't score again.
Benson homered off Pedro to tie the game. Pedro got behind him 3-0, then laid two pitches right in there. Benson took the first one and homered off the second one.
"He's a pitcher," Martinez said. "Whenever I fall behind them (a pitcher) I'm not going to fool around. Make him hit it. The next time up he popped up to center field. Same pitch. Same location. Fastball. Eighty-five, 86 miles per hour."
The Orioles broke the game open in the 5th on hits by luminaries Nick Markakis, Brian Roberts and Brandon Fahey.
After that Benson was untouchable. The Mets had chances early but Reyes popped out with 2nd and 3rd and one out in the second. Delgado led off the third with a double, but was stranded. Milledge led off the fourth with a single, was sacrificed to second and stranded there. After Milledge's hit the next 17 Mets were retired (15 of those by Benson) until Milledge singled again in the bottom of the 9th.
You could tell that Benson was pissed about being traded. "It's great to come back and pitch well against the last team you played for, especially with all the stuff going on," Benson said.
Here we go again with catchers. Lo Duca has allowed 41 stolen bases already this year while throwing out less than 25% of the runners. The Orioles have already stolen 5 bases against him in two games.
Last year Brian Roberts hit 18 home runs. In almost 200 at bats he hasn't hit one yet this season. Draw your own conclusions.
The Mets will try to salvage this series by sending Tom Glavine against Adam Loewen. Loewen will make his fourth major league start, and he'll set a record because all of them have been against former Cy Young Award winners (Randy Johnson and Roy Halladay twice).
Friday, June 16, 2006
The Mets Know How to Party
Undated pictures of Cliff Floyd, Paul Lo Duca and David Wright partying with some chicks have made their way to the internet, via the trashy baseball blog On the DL. Based on the rest of their pictures the girls seem to be serious Mets fans, and nothing too scandalous is going on in the photos, still you hate to see the damage that can be caused by a little alcohol and a camera phone.
Orioles 6 Mets 3
All good things must come to an end. We knew the Mets couldn't keep winning forever, nor could they keep scoring in the first inning of every game, but this game was still a little disappointing.
Soler deserved better tonight. He allowed only four hits and 2 runs, both in the third. One of those runs was unearned because Roberts reached on an error, given to Reyes, but Delgado actually deserved it for dropping the throw. Soler lowered his ERA to 3.00 and has shaken off that horrible start, and has pieced together three good ones.
The offense did nothing against Eric Bedard. They didn't get their first hit until the 5th inning. They scored a run in the second on two walks, a sacrifice and a groundout. But they did take the lead in the 5th on a 2 run double from Reyes, who stayed hot tonight, while the rest of the Mets cooled down.
Reyes leads the National League in runs scored (tied with Rickie Weeks) at 54. And he also has 35 RBI, an exceptional total for a leadoff man.
But when Soler left after the 6th the Mets planned to bring in Heilman, Sanchez and Wagner for one inning each. Heilman sucked again. He has been very spotty this season and right now I think Feliciano and Bradford are more reliable in a big spot. Heilman can't seem to throw strikes and that's what got him in trouble. He walked the first two batters he faced, then got a sacrifice. The next ball was hit sharply at Delgado and he couldn't handle it, so instead of a play at the plate, he got the out at first and the tying run scored. Heilman then gave up a single, followed by a backbreaking home run to former Met Melvin Mora.
I don't know if Heilman is pouting about not being in the rotation, if he really has a mechanical problem or if he just isn't that good. But I do not trust him in a big spot. Other than Heath Bell (who has only pitched in 9 games), Heilman is the only Met reliever not to have a win this season. Bartolome Fortunato and Jorge Julio both do. Heilman is 0-2, while Sanchez, Wagner and Oliver are a combined 10-0. His 4.86 ERA is the worst of anyone (starter or reliever) currently on the team.
Gary Cohen made his return to the broadcast booth after missing two weeks following an emergency appendectomy. Omar Minaya was in the booth, talking about Milledge, but not his plans for him. Just said he still has some growing up to do but they aren't worried about him. Ralph Kiner was also in the booth. You know he didn't say anything noteworthy.
They kept reminiscing about the 1969 World Series, I guess having the Orioles in town will do that. My favorite undertold story about 1969 is from Buddy Harrelson. Don Buford (father of former Met Damon) led off the first game of the series with a home run. According to Buddy as he rounded second Buford told him "you ain't seen nothing yet." Buddy replied "first inning, first game, you ain't seen nothing yet either." The Mets lost that first game, and won the next four. So I guess Buddy was right.
The Orioles selected Nick Markakis one slot ahead of where the Mets took Lastings Milledge in the 2003 draft. This season in 176 at bats, Markakis is batting .227 with 2 homers and 16 RBI. In 56 at bats, Milledge is batting .241 with 2 homers and 11 RBI. Hopefully the Orioles will regret that decision for many years.
Soler deserved better tonight. He allowed only four hits and 2 runs, both in the third. One of those runs was unearned because Roberts reached on an error, given to Reyes, but Delgado actually deserved it for dropping the throw. Soler lowered his ERA to 3.00 and has shaken off that horrible start, and has pieced together three good ones.
The offense did nothing against Eric Bedard. They didn't get their first hit until the 5th inning. They scored a run in the second on two walks, a sacrifice and a groundout. But they did take the lead in the 5th on a 2 run double from Reyes, who stayed hot tonight, while the rest of the Mets cooled down.
Reyes leads the National League in runs scored (tied with Rickie Weeks) at 54. And he also has 35 RBI, an exceptional total for a leadoff man.
But when Soler left after the 6th the Mets planned to bring in Heilman, Sanchez and Wagner for one inning each. Heilman sucked again. He has been very spotty this season and right now I think Feliciano and Bradford are more reliable in a big spot. Heilman can't seem to throw strikes and that's what got him in trouble. He walked the first two batters he faced, then got a sacrifice. The next ball was hit sharply at Delgado and he couldn't handle it, so instead of a play at the plate, he got the out at first and the tying run scored. Heilman then gave up a single, followed by a backbreaking home run to former Met Melvin Mora.
I don't know if Heilman is pouting about not being in the rotation, if he really has a mechanical problem or if he just isn't that good. But I do not trust him in a big spot. Other than Heath Bell (who has only pitched in 9 games), Heilman is the only Met reliever not to have a win this season. Bartolome Fortunato and Jorge Julio both do. Heilman is 0-2, while Sanchez, Wagner and Oliver are a combined 10-0. His 4.86 ERA is the worst of anyone (starter or reliever) currently on the team.
Gary Cohen made his return to the broadcast booth after missing two weeks following an emergency appendectomy. Omar Minaya was in the booth, talking about Milledge, but not his plans for him. Just said he still has some growing up to do but they aren't worried about him. Ralph Kiner was also in the booth. You know he didn't say anything noteworthy.
They kept reminiscing about the 1969 World Series, I guess having the Orioles in town will do that. My favorite undertold story about 1969 is from Buddy Harrelson. Don Buford (father of former Met Damon) led off the first game of the series with a home run. According to Buddy as he rounded second Buford told him "you ain't seen nothing yet." Buddy replied "first inning, first game, you ain't seen nothing yet either." The Mets lost that first game, and won the next four. So I guess Buddy was right.
The Orioles selected Nick Markakis one slot ahead of where the Mets took Lastings Milledge in the 2003 draft. This season in 176 at bats, Markakis is batting .227 with 2 homers and 16 RBI. In 56 at bats, Milledge is batting .241 with 2 homers and 11 RBI. Hopefully the Orioles will regret that decision for many years.
Britney Knows a Good Idea When She Sees One
Following in the steps of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Britney Spears is considering a Namibian birth for her next baby, a government official said Friday.
Deputy Environment and Tourism Minister Leon Jooste said officials have received an inquiry on behalf of the 24-year-old pop star, who has a 9-month-old son, Sean Preston, with husband Kevin Federline.
"She has shown interest to come over to Namibia," Jooste said by telephone from a conference in neighboring South Africa. "Nothing has been confirmed yet, but there is a definite possibility of that happening."
He declined to provide further details, saying: "She wants to come in very low profile and have some privacy. She might change her mind if we reveal too much now."
Deputy Environment and Tourism Minister Leon Jooste said officials have received an inquiry on behalf of the 24-year-old pop star, who has a 9-month-old son, Sean Preston, with husband Kevin Federline.
"She has shown interest to come over to Namibia," Jooste said by telephone from a conference in neighboring South Africa. "Nothing has been confirmed yet, but there is a definite possibility of that happening."
He declined to provide further details, saying: "She wants to come in very low profile and have some privacy. She might change her mind if we reveal too much now."
The Genius of the Concierge
Several years ago while driving around in New Jersey the Concierge and I, and possibly even Reissberg and Leary, we noticed a restaurant, Ming Dynasty, which billed itself as the "Best Chinese Food in New Jersey." We thought it to be a boastful, presumptuous and even meaningless claim. We speculated that had they said second or even third best, it would have been better because then you would assume that some sort of competition took place. That's the back story, here's the e-mail the Concierge just sent me:
"I really want a story about Ming Dynasty- The Second Best Chinese Restaurant in New Jersey.
Today- I had an analogous encounter when I saw a sign on Wall Street for the Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich. This led to my previous conclusion that had they said they were the Second Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich, I might believe it. It carrys more credibility. Then I got to thinking, when did this contest for Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich take place? What was the criteria by which the sandwich were judged? Was it televised? Who were the judges? - Then I thought- How many Braised Short Rib Sandwiches were in the competition? - I mean it is not everyday you see thing sandwich on a menu.- maybe there was only two sandwiches in the competition- maybe it was an internal contest in which they used several different recipes for Braised Short Rib Sandwiches and then said Ah-Hah?- This one is the best one; and so they offered it for sale as the Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich."
"I really want a story about Ming Dynasty- The Second Best Chinese Restaurant in New Jersey.
Today- I had an analogous encounter when I saw a sign on Wall Street for the Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich. This led to my previous conclusion that had they said they were the Second Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich, I might believe it. It carrys more credibility. Then I got to thinking, when did this contest for Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich take place? What was the criteria by which the sandwich were judged? Was it televised? Who were the judges? - Then I thought- How many Braised Short Rib Sandwiches were in the competition? - I mean it is not everyday you see thing sandwich on a menu.- maybe there was only two sandwiches in the competition- maybe it was an internal contest in which they used several different recipes for Braised Short Rib Sandwiches and then said Ah-Hah?- This one is the best one; and so they offered it for sale as the Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich."
Crazy Guillen
White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen went batshit crazy after he brought in relief pitcher Sean Tracey to hit Hank Blalock, and instead he got him to ground out. Guillen wanted retaliation for the Rangers having hit AJ Pierzynski two times. Tracey did try to hit Blalock, coming inside twice, but failed, after which Guillen threw his water bottle and took Tracey out of the game. The next day Tracey was sent back to Charlotte. And he doesn't even live there.
I can see why Guillen is upset if he felt his order had been ignored. But basically Guillen is just batshit crazy as I previously stated. But he talks like Tony Montana, so that's why the Concierge likes him.
I can see why Guillen is upset if he felt his order had been ignored. But basically Guillen is just batshit crazy as I previously stated. But he talks like Tony Montana, so that's why the Concierge likes him.
World Cup Weekend
Should be an interesting weekend of World Cup games, now that the action has picked up somewhat, and we're on to 3 and 4 games per day, instead of 2.
So far it's been a disappointing tournament for two reasons.
First the U.S. got smoked. The Poop's soccer expert Reissberg says the team was overrated coming in and doesn't have the talent to match the top European sides. He said the great run in 2002 was the product of a favorable draw. Doesn't mean they were one of the top 8 teams just because they made the quarters. Those same dynamics are unquestionably working against them this time as they are in a very tough group.
The U.S. can still advance with a win over Italy tomorrow at 3pm and a win over Ghana on Thursday. If that happens Italy would have to beat Czech.
So, can the U.S. beat Italy? The first thing to consider is do they have the talent? The answer is probably Italy is a little more talented and a lot more experienced. But I do feel the U.S. can win and here's how: They have to play like they're possessed. They have to use the ass-kicking and the subsequent criticism as fuel for the fire.
The second reason I'm not into the World Cup is because my pre-tournament pick, France, and Brazil played boring opening matches. I watched them both back to back on Tuesday and only one goal was scored. I did enjoy Zinedine Zidane for France. He is a master. You can tell how the game just sort of slows down for him. Brazil knew they were going to win and didn't seem properly motivated.
The teams will play again on Sunday as two-thirds of ABC's tripleheader starting at 9am. Hopefully these matches will provide more excitement.
So far it's been a disappointing tournament for two reasons.
First the U.S. got smoked. The Poop's soccer expert Reissberg says the team was overrated coming in and doesn't have the talent to match the top European sides. He said the great run in 2002 was the product of a favorable draw. Doesn't mean they were one of the top 8 teams just because they made the quarters. Those same dynamics are unquestionably working against them this time as they are in a very tough group.
The U.S. can still advance with a win over Italy tomorrow at 3pm and a win over Ghana on Thursday. If that happens Italy would have to beat Czech.
So, can the U.S. beat Italy? The first thing to consider is do they have the talent? The answer is probably Italy is a little more talented and a lot more experienced. But I do feel the U.S. can win and here's how: They have to play like they're possessed. They have to use the ass-kicking and the subsequent criticism as fuel for the fire.
The second reason I'm not into the World Cup is because my pre-tournament pick, France, and Brazil played boring opening matches. I watched them both back to back on Tuesday and only one goal was scored. I did enjoy Zinedine Zidane for France. He is a master. You can tell how the game just sort of slows down for him. Brazil knew they were going to win and didn't seem properly motivated.
The teams will play again on Sunday as two-thirds of ABC's tripleheader starting at 9am. Hopefully these matches will provide more excitement.
My Favorite Word
The Boston Red Sox recently completed a series with Minnesota Twins in Minnesota. Before that the Twins hosted the Baltimore Orioles. According to the Boston Herald, former Red Sox, current Oriole Kevin Millar, left Terry Francona a little gift in the visiting manager's office: dog poop.
Heroic Bat Boy
Uptight sports broadcasters never show crazed fans running onto the field for fear it will cause copycats. I agree that people do this just to be on TV so I don't like giving in, but for the announcers to call this bat boy "heroic," might be a bit of an overstatement.
Coach Confusion
Just want to be clear: I believe that Mike and Coach are two different people. They look alike but I have never seen them in the same place at the same time. And I now believe that Coach is dead.
Celeb Sighting
Today I met Splash. Splash is the dog of Senator Ted Kennedy. Splash is the author of a new children's book, called "My Senator and Me." It's written from the dog's perspective so I guess its a good book for dogs to read also.
Sen. Kennedy was very gracious, standing up to greet us (even though he has a back problem) and introducing himself and his wife to all of us. The dogs (Splash's brother Sunny came too) sat at the Senator's feet while he was eating fruit, even tapping him on the leg to get some. When I asked what kind of dogs they are Senator Kennedy said "Portguese water dogs."
I said "those are the dogs they have in San Francisco..."
He said "yes, at the ballpark to fetch the balls from the water. They're very strong swimmers."
His wife then got the dogs to do a trick. She broke a biscuit in half, they immediately followed her. They both went from sitting to the down position. She placed the biscuit halves about 6 inches from their noses. They waited patiently. She clapped and they pounced. Great dogs.
During the interview Splash sat quietly under the Senator's feet and played with his tennis ball.
I really liked the Senator and it just goes to show that your impression of someone from the media can be totally wrong. Knowing about someone is not the same as knowing them. And just because you disagree with someone's politics doesn't mean that he is not a good person.
Sen. Kennedy was very gracious, standing up to greet us (even though he has a back problem) and introducing himself and his wife to all of us. The dogs (Splash's brother Sunny came too) sat at the Senator's feet while he was eating fruit, even tapping him on the leg to get some. When I asked what kind of dogs they are Senator Kennedy said "Portguese water dogs."
I said "those are the dogs they have in San Francisco..."
He said "yes, at the ballpark to fetch the balls from the water. They're very strong swimmers."
His wife then got the dogs to do a trick. She broke a biscuit in half, they immediately followed her. They both went from sitting to the down position. She placed the biscuit halves about 6 inches from their noses. They waited patiently. She clapped and they pounced. Great dogs.
During the interview Splash sat quietly under the Senator's feet and played with his tennis ball.
I really liked the Senator and it just goes to show that your impression of someone from the media can be totally wrong. Knowing about someone is not the same as knowing them. And just because you disagree with someone's politics doesn't mean that he is not a good person.
Celeb Sighting
Can't believe I forgot about this the whole week. As I was leaving one rainy day, the security guard said "that's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar." I looked over by the door and there was the tallest man I've ever seen. He actually is so skinny that he looks awkward. He had to duck to get through the revolving door, and looked so silly carrying his umbrella. I didn't get to talk to him though. If I had I would have told him that my dad doesn't think he plays hard every night.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Foot in Mouth Disease
President Bush makes fun of Los Angeles Times reporter Peter Wallsten for wearing sunglasses at the press conference. One problem: Wallsten has a degenerative eye condition and is legally blind. Bush didn't know and later apologized. Wallsten said he wasn't offended, he was more upset that his question went unanswered.
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