Michael Douglas Recants, Says Catherine Zeta-Jones's Pussy Didn't Cause His Cancer

Michael Douglas caused a shitstorm around the world, and most likely in his own bedroom when he said, of his throat cancer "this particular cancer is caused by something called HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus."
Douglas was forced, presumably by his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones to retract that statement. Now he says he meant that other people get throat cancer this way. His was caused by something completely different.
Except that's not what the statistics say. According to the CDC, Each year in the U.S., HPV is thought to cause an estimated

2,100 vulvar cancers,
500 vaginal cancers,
600 penile cancers,
2,800 anal cancers in women,
1,500 anal cancers in men,
1,700 oropharyngeal cancers in women,*
6,700 oropharyngeal cancers in men.*

*Note: Other factors, notably tobacco and alcohol use, may also play a role with HPV to cause these cancers.

So even the CDC says thousands of men get exactly this type of cancer from HPV every year.



You may remember that Farrah Fawcett died of anal cancer, likely from HPV, almost assuredly from the diseased cock of Ryan O'Neal.

The lesson as always kids: be careful out there.